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(Sorry, I just need to vent or cry or something somewhere, and my husband is not going to understand what's upsetting me here.)
I never talk to people at the gym. I keep hearing gyms are great pickup places -- I wouldn't know, I never make eye contact with anyone.
I go in, I do my workout, I leave.
Today, I'm trying to find the weights to load for my squats, and I'm very annoyed because all the 45s are on a bar on the floor. (Fully loaded, hard for me to even budge to work a plate off.) I look over at this one guy I see in the weights room all the time, a former Russian (Soviet?) boxer who does a lot of powerlifting. I ask, "Is this yours?" He laughs and says, "I pick up after myself." I say, "I know, right? I don't know what's with the people in this gym sometimes."
I get some other 45s, set up my squat bar, do my heavy squats.
The Russian boxer comes over to me and says, "I'm not going to train you, because I don't work with amateurs. But I see you in here all the time and I have to tell you, your squat is atrocious. Your foot placement, everything. You're going to hurt something. You need to work with a trainer to make sure you have everything in place." He introduces me to one of the trainers working nearby. The trainer mentions he sees me in there all the time and he likes working with power lifters.
And then I declared my workout for the day done and I left. I went food shopping. I bought a Coke Zero (if this were a movie, we'd get a subtitle: She's depressed).
No one ever talks to me in the gym. The first time someone talks to me...it's to tell me I'm doing it wrong.
This is why I don't talk to people at the gym.
Diane, I had something similar happen to me a few months ago, and to be honest, I still haven't gotten over it. No Russian powerlifter involved, but still. The first guy I had chatted with in passing a couple of times. I knew he used to compete, can't remember if it was body building or powerlifting, so I felt he should know what he was talking about. He told me I was leaning too far forward and was going to hurt myself. I knew I sometimes had a problem with leaning, so I deloaded, took a video and posted it here for advice. I didn't get any major criticism and a few tips, so I proceeded with squatting. A week or so later, another older gentleman I talk to, came up to me and told me the same thing. My confidence was pretty much shattered. I went from enjoying squats, to disliking them, because I felt like it was a constant fight to improve and do them correctly. In the back of my mind, I keep hearing them tell me I'm doing them wrong.
Long story short, I've pretty much quit progressing on my squats. Some of it is because of things totally unrelated to confidence issues, but I admit, most of it is. I had a good, long talking to with myself a few weeks ago and it helped a bit. Then, I lost a good friend in an accident and I didn't do squats for a couple of weeks. Now, I'm slowly going to work back up and regain my strength and hopefully, my confidence along with it.
I know not to listen to random people in the gym, especially ones who use the Smith Machines. :grumble: It's still hard not to let it bother me, but I keep plugging away.0 -
Long story short, I've pretty much quit progressing on my squats. Some of it is because of things totally unrelated to confidence issues, but I admit, most of it is. I had a good, long talking to with myself a few weeks ago and it helped a bit. Then, I lost a good friend in an accident and I didn't do squats for a couple of weeks. Now, I'm slowly going to work back up and regain my strength and hopefully, my confidence along with it.
I know not to listen to random people in the gym, especially ones who use the Smith Machines. :grumble: It's still hard not to let it bother me, but I keep plugging away.
Oh no! If you like squats, find a way to get back into them! That's terrible if the naysayers can affect you that much.
And I always see women squatting on the Smith machine and I'm like, "..."0 -
@amy hi and welcome...
Yes the lifting sticks with most...I am 8 1/2 months in...loving it still.
Feel free to friend me as well..and that goes for anyone in this group...I may appear a bit blunt...well I am but I still be friends...:flowerforyou:
@ cruisn' not sure if you ever saw this pic
bar placement defines your "lean"...I do low bar so I would probably have "bros" at a gym telling me the same thing...doesn't make them right.
Everyone squats differently...we are all built differently, hold the bar in a different place...
This is one of the reason's women tend to stay away from the free weights..
Don't listen to them...because to be frank (and other please correct me if I am wrong) if your form was so off you wouldn't have been progressing as well and you would have hurt yourself long before they stepped in.
I think we can all "feel" it when our form is off...for us...foot placement, bar placement, leans etc...
Fall back in love with them...and each time you see those jack *kitten* at the gym just remember they don't know everything about weight lifting and they definately don't know your body or what is good for you...oh and picture them failing at their squats...cause if they are so busy watching you they aren't paying enough attention to their own workouts.0 -
Fall back in love with them...and each time you see those jack *kitten* at the gym just remember they don't know everything about weight lifting and they definitely don't know your body or what is good for you...oh and picture them failing at their squats...cause if they are so busy watching you they aren't paying enough attention to their own workouts.
I agree with this. I'm so sorry, that y'all were put in those positions by people who don't even know you. I'm somewhat of an introvert and would have been greatly discouraged with that "advice". ((hugs))0 -
Fall back in love with them...and each time you see those jack *kitten* at the gym just remember they don't know everything about weight lifting and they definitely don't know your body or what is good for you...oh and picture them failing at their squats...cause if they are so busy watching you they aren't paying enough attention to their own workouts.
I agree with this. I'm so sorry, that y'all were put in those positions by people who don't even know you. I'm somewhat of an introvert and would have been greatly discouraged with that "advice". ((hugs))
Thanks for this! ...Ever since my run-in, I haven't had the courage to go back to my gym. I'm still working up to it, but I guess it really affected me. I thought that was something I got over a long time ago, fear and apprehension about working out in front of other people. That girl smashed all my progress and courage.
This helps.0 -
(Sorry, I just need to vent or cry or something somewhere, and my husband is not going to understand what's upsetting me here.)
I never talk to people at the gym. I keep hearing gyms are great pickup places -- I wouldn't know, I never make eye contact with anyone. I go in, I do my workout, I leave.
Today, I'm trying to find the weights to load for my squats, and I'm very annoyed because all the 45s are on a bar on the floor. (Fully loaded, hard for me to even budge to work a plate off.) I look over at this one guy I see in the weights room all the time, a former Russian (Soviet?) boxer who does a lot of powerlifting. I ask, "Is this yours?" He laughs and says, "I pick up after myself." I say, "I know, right? I don't know what's with the people in this gym sometimes."
I get some other 45s, set up my squat bar, do my heavy squats.
The Russian boxer comes over to me and says, "I'm not going to train you, because I don't work with amateurs. But I see you in here all the time and I have to tell you, your squat is atrocious. Your foot placement, everything. You're going to hurt something. You need to work with a trainer to make sure you have everything in place." He introduces me to one of the trainers working nearby. The trainer mentions he sees me in there all the time and he likes working with power lifters.
And then I declared my workout for the day done and I left. I went food shopping. I bought a Coke Zero (if this were a movie, we'd get a subtitle: She's depressed).
No one ever talks to me in the gym. The first time someone talks to me...it's to tell me I'm doing it wrong.
This is why I don't talk to people at the gym.
I must've skipped a page, because I just saw this. UGH. Why can't people leave us alone? They are doing us more harm than good, and pretty transparently only doing it to stroke their own egos. They can leave thinking, "I used my vast superior knowledge to help someone at the gym. I'm a great person!" ...when in reality, they insulted and upset us.
It should really be a universal gym policy: Leave Everyone Alone.0 -
I must've skipped a page, because I just saw this. UGH. Why can't people leave us alone? They are doing us more harm than good, and pretty transparently only doing it to stroke their own egos. They can leave thinking, "I used my vast superior knowledge to help someone at the gym. I'm a great person!" ...when in reality, they insulted and upset us.
It should really be a universal gym policy: Leave Everyone Alone. [quote/]
I agree! I think MOST of the time, people have good intentions and they don't stop to think of the negative effect their advice can have on someone. It took a lot of courage for me to walk into the gym and start a program, doing something I knew nothing about. They don't realize how much time and effort I put into researching and making sure I knew exactly what I was doing, before I even walked in that door. They don't stop to think that maybe, just maybe, the way they know how to do something, is not the only way to do it, even if they've been doing it that way forever.
I just get pissed at myself, for letting them get to me. I know better, but some days, I just can't get past it.Fall back in love with them...and each time you see those jack *kitten* at the gym just remember they don't know everything about weight lifting and they definitely don't know your body or what is good for you...oh and picture them failing at their squats...cause if they are so busy watching you they aren't paying enough attention to their own workouts. [quote/]
Thanks, Stef! I'm really trying! Most days I do ok and I'm working my way back up!0 -
Hi. I got in my Day 2/Workout B yesterday. It took forever because this guy was squatting with tons of 45 lb plates at the squat rack, and he had 8 sets, he said. I didn't want to ask if I could work in with him and bother with all that plate-swapping. So I did OHP first. Then deadlift second. Then while I was doing those, more people slipped in and used the rack before me and a line formed. It was an exercise in patience. Then I finished with squats. Is it ok to do them out of order like that?
I didn't know that Deadlift was supposed to be ... 1x5?!? I couldn't figure out why my Stronglifts app wouldn't let me check off sets 2-5, until I squinted closely and saw that. I was only supposed to do warm-up and one set. I'm not sure why I never noticed that before. I have to get better about reading the instruction manuals. Drrrrr.
I took some "before" pics yesterday. I should probably share them with you guys so we can all bond over my love handles. 0 -
Oh no! I'm the Thread Killer!
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naw this can be a sporatic thread esp on the weekends...0
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I was waiting for the bonding pics.
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I rarely can get into the forums on the weekend.
Saturday started out rather disappointing and then got better. My twins' 8th birthday party was scheduled for Saturday at 2:30pm at a play gym, but we had (another) severe storm blow through and they lost power Friday. The electric company said they should be restored by noon on Saturday. Noon came and went with no power. We live in a small town and it was a 45min commute to this gym. So we ended up having to cancel the party at this place and have it at my house. Um...yeah, my house was relatively clean, but not party clean, iykwim??
I ended up buying out all the water guns and water balloons at the local dollar store and we had a water party. Everyone had fun and then there was Chocolate Lasagna for dessert.
Sunday, we took the kids to the gym with us. While I worked out, my DH and the kids swam. All in all, a great weekend.0 -
I've been meaning to ask the group.... does anyone else get bruises on their arms from low bar squat?
I have a couple bruises on my upper outer arm and I just feel like they won't fully go away because I keep resting the bar there.0 -
I don't get bruises from any of these lifts (yet), but on squat, I notice that my old rotator cuff tear starts to flare up again.
As for my weekend, it was busy because my son was graduating...erm... preschool... and so my parents were in town and we had a little pizza party for him.I was waiting for the bonding pics.
Heh heh. I guess I set myself up for that one. Sure, I'll share. Pardon my messy bed. My kid is the lump still sleeping in it. (And my facial expressions were just so blech that I had to hide them.) I do have some work to do. Here she is letting it all hang out:
I am so hopeful that I'll be able to lose the excess around my middle, back an arms. That's where the women in my family carry all their weight. Even my mom who is tiny, thin and bird-boned has the same love handles. 0 -
Oh, and I'm sorry about the undies and the beginning of the wedgie you see forming there. I was in a hurry to capture something before having to start my day. :P0
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Wedgies happen. You'll definitely see some improvement in the middle. My waist went down like crazy first, then started losing off my arms. I posted pics in the progress pics thread.
I lost 1.5 inches off my arms in 5 weeks. So crazy, I love it.0 -
Good to know, I want to lose my middle section too. That's what kids do to ya! but i've never been flat there anyways.. sigh! And my arms. Bad genetics. LOL!
@amylahminute: its so cute that your son is a big lump in your bed!
Mine always wake up before the alarm.... 5:30ish AM is their time! 0 -
LOL at your kid being the lump in the bed! (that's usually me.....)
SL5X5 will do an amazing job at reshaping your body for you , just give it time. I didn't really notice it but a friend commented during Pilates the other night that she thought it was a huge change. Squats do a body good!0 -
Wedgies happen.
I'm so going to put this on my tombstone.
Erm... So what's everybody been up to? Me? I've had a frustrating work week, mostly with other people's incompetencies, um...I mean their personalities. Of course, it's my fault for being so darn right all of the time.
I did workouts A, B and A again, with a big de-load on squats to make sure my form is solid (yesterday I squatted 85, down from 105). I'm liking this program,.
Ooh, I had a NSV today... using the gym's bodyfat testing machine, I'm down to 26.2% BF. The first DEXA I had in Nov 2012 said I was 31% so I feel I'm moving in the right direction. Yay?
On the confession front: I've been obsessively watching videos on YouTube of before and after liposuction patients. Now, I'm terrified of surgery as they all seem risky, doubly averse to elective surgery, but as I start to think about the local pockets of fat I don't like on me, I do fantasize about the "quick fix" in a really "yeah, I'm never doing this" sort of a way. The videos are fascinating and kind of macabre. :P some patients are awake and talking while they're being sucked.
That's all that's up with me. How's you guys?0 -
Amy - If you are interested in lipo, give CoolSculpting a look. I see a billboard for it on my way home. Supposed to be a non-evasive liposuction like procedure that freezes the fat cells instead of surgery. I think the idea is pretty interesting.0
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I look like that picture when I squat. I have found that when I do squats and when I do barbell rows, what works for me is sybo (stick your butt out), that gives me the right form, and it makes me look like that picture too. I am comfortable with that when rowing because when not lifting I do T-Tapp, and when you bend over that is the pose you take to flatten your back while you do leg bends/arm movements. If tried not to do that and stay straight, that wouldn't work at all.@ cruisn' not sure if you ever saw this pic
bar placement defines your "lean"...I do low bar so I would probably have "bros" at a gym telling me the same thing...doesn't make them right.
Everyone squats differently...we are all built differently, hold the bar in a different place...
This is one of the reason's women tend to stay away from the free weights..
Don't listen to them...because to be frank (and other please correct me if I am wrong) if your form was so off you wouldn't have been progressing as well and you would have hurt yourself long before they stepped in.
I think we can all "feel" it when our form is off...for us...foot placement, bar placement, leans etc...
On another note, just changed to TDEE - 15%, 1700 calories. The past 2 days I was starving so I ate that much anyway, my weigh day was Thursday and I was exactly 1 lb. down so I was thinking, perfect, maybe I just need to make sure I eat 1600 and don't have to go to - 15%. Then I woke up this morning, definitely drank plenty of water yesterday, I always do, and I was down another 1.8 lbs, but it has only been 1 day since my weigh day. We will see how TDEE - 15% works, next stop 10% if this doesn't do it. I do not want to lose muscle.0 -
Oddly enough, I was looking at Groupons for iLipo last night! I was just browsing the newest deals and there's a whoooooooooole bunch of iLipo deals out there. Lol, dunno how legit it is if you can get a Groupon for it, though! iLipo is supposedly non-invasive as well.0
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That is interesting, but how does your skin react? It takes time (in most cases) for skin to tighten once fat is gone. My skin has been doing ok but I know there will be more skin tightening as time goes on. I think I would be more interested in a procedure like that if it also made skin tighten, but then again I am getting closer and closer to my goal, so just going to keep at it. I think there is much more of a sense of achievement to be had when you are losing the weight by eating right and exercising. Best thing I ever did fat loss-wise was pick up those weights.Amy - If you are interested in lipo, give CoolSculpting a look. I see a billboard for it on my way home. Supposed to be a non-evasive liposuction like procedure that freezes the fat cells instead of surgery. I think the idea is pretty interesting.
@amy - hi Amy, maybe give it some time to see how you look, skin will tighten more with time, and my fat pockets are going away more and more, I can actually look at myself in a bikini and not scream, although I am not ready to go out in public like that yet, getting there though. Also when you lose fat, it mobilizes first. For example, I looked at my stomach this morning and it looked more fatty, like cellulite or something, but a. I know that isn't how it usually looks and b. fat mobilizes before you lose it. It looks terrible when it does that because it loosens up and becomes much more noticeable, but then it goes away. That is actually how you can tell where the fat is coming off next if you are really paying attention.0 -
Hi guys!!
I'm really not considering any procedure. I just think the videos are fascinating.
Today, I took a trip up to Napa and ate quite a bit of this truffle pork chicken liver mousse. I know it sounds probably awful, but it was really yummy and having it on crackers made a nice picnic. And I sampled about six different wines. Pretty sure I didn't hit my macros and I ate at or above maintenance today. Shrug. This must be done sometimes. :-)0 -
Amy - Yeah, I am the same way...."wow, that looks neat. Not that I would really do it" but I still like to research and look at results photos. I keep thinking of a tummy tuck and breast lift, but meh.0
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I'm sure thewomanformerlyknownasbeautiful tried that cool sculpt thing.. worth checking her blog?
anyway, this is what the huz and I will be doing this summer! !! http://www.zipworld.co.uk/forms/zipworld-flyer.pdf0 -
Since I b*tched about this here a while back, I'll put the follow-up here:
I went to the gym today to have a session with a PT I've known for a long time (he trains a friend of mine and used to teach the kids taekwando) and I told him what the Russian boxer said to me in early June. He made a face. "That's N.," he said. "He's kind of a jerk."
A guy from across the weight room said, "N. is an a______e. Ignore anything he says!"
Then we started with squats. The PT watched me squat.
"If all of my clients came to me doing squats the way you do them, I'd be a very happy man," he said.
I feel a lot better today. 0 -
Since I b*tched about this here a while back, I'll put the follow-up here:
I went to the gym today to have a session with a PT I've known for a long time (he trains a friend of mine and used to teach the kids taekwando) and I told him what the Russian boxer said to me in early June. He made a face. "That's N.," he said. "He's kind of a jerk."
A guy from across the weight room said, "N. is an a______e. Ignore anything he says!"
Then we started with squats. The PT watched me squat.
"If all of my clients came to me doing squats the way you do them, I'd be a very happy man," he said.
I feel a lot better today.
I don't know what the back story is on this, but I still grinned at his review of your squat. Thumbs up!0 -
I scrolled back a bit and found the back story. Good NIGHT, what a jerk!!
It makes me a liiiiittle suspicious that he felt you needed a trainer and GUESS WHAT?! He happens to know this trainer over here! Out of the goodness of his heart, I'm sure. There's no possible way he's trying to solicit business for his friend. Nope. Just helping a girl out.
Pfffffffft.0 -
@Dianeinca - Congrats on the squat affirmation. Don't let somebody else make you doubt yourself. :smokin:0
