LET IT OUT! (The Frustrations Thread)
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Hold the course Jackie!
I spent forever on a plateau at 290-288 for MONTHS! But I am over the other side and on my way down again...heading rapidly to 100 down by EASTER!
You WILL see your ticker at 150! And soon. You know the drills, Log your food. Drink your water. Get your sleep. And keep moving as best you can. It will happen. You know better than most us!
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Jackie, focus on living a healthier life. Like Mark (I hope I got your name right!) said, log your food and drink your water, get your exercise and your rest. It WILL happen.0
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thank you! i know, but this whole stall thing is killing me! i have been exercising my butt off this last week so i hope to see a reduced number on the scale this thursday. but yes, i am happy with myself anyways and i still can't believe this is ME when i look in the mirror.
i am so glad to hear you finally broke your stall! we can both do this, we can all do this!0 -
I guess a pound is a pound but I've been trying to eat less than 1500 calories a day and have started walking 1.5 - 2.5 miles a day if I have time. I've also started a new job - and i haven't been eating the food - which has put me on my feet another 15 hours so far and I've had musical practice as well on top of that. No red meat and no fast food. Not sure what's going on and this is my 17th day and it's been one pound total from my weigh in Monday.
Not sure what I'm doing wrong or if I need to do more. I determined to stick with it this time though. 0 -
Ariel, stick to it and look back at where some things can improve it sounds like you may be over doing some stuff! Being on the go 20 hours a day Isn't always the best! Your body needs rest and recovery time! You can do this sometimes it just takes time to find your path!0
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OMG! I DID IT! I HAVE LOST 150 LBS! i am so happy! this last week i made sure to drink a protein shake every morning, tried eating a little more and exercised my butt off! i added dance lessons and went back to swimming laps and just tried to be more active during my day.
when that scale said 248 yesterday, i froze, i didn't know whether i was going to laugh or cry, lol. it still seems unbelievable that i am UNDER 250 lbs for the first time in at least 15-17 years. i am so HAPPY! thanks everyone for all the support and encouragement.0 -
So I just found out that I was passed over for promotion a second time! You really have to wonder when you have worked your *kitten* off for 4 years at the same company learning every thing you can as quickly as you can why you really bother... Apparently just being ok at your job is enough! I am not sure which of the two other people I lost too, but I certain if they picked this one lady over me I will quit my job immediately! Otherwise I'm quitting in June! My husband and I had to choose who quit their jobs because his job is 1.5 hours from our house, so we either need to move or he needs to quit! We let this be our deciding factor if I got the promotion he would quit if not we would move closer to his work! Looks like I'm going to be country living after June!
I am really hurt that my butt bustling work ethic has gotten me basically no where!!! Maybe it's the lesson "don't be irreplaceable" I should have slacked off a lot more or something... I'm just making up excuses now anyway but I am done crying I think so I can go get the rest of my work day done and go home for my extra long weekend (don't have to come back to work until Thursday)
Hope everyone has a better day than me!0 -
Holly, I am so sorry! Work sucks! I just went through this and it's maddening and upsetting and ... bleh!!! Maybe you'll find something better... that treats you with more respect. The place doesn't deserve you if it won't recognize what an important asset you are. :mad:0
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I had a great week of workouts and clean eating and I am still not really losing any weight! I feel so frustrated!!! I have been at 230-228 for about 4-5 months now... I lose a pound or two then gain it back and start all over again! So this week I kicked it into high gear and I am still losing and gaining the same 2lbs! I know if I stay with it, it will come off but I am trying so hard that it makes me angry that I am not doing very well...0
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I had a great week of workouts and clean eating and I am still not really losing any weight! I feel so frustrated!!! I have been at 230-228 for about 4-5 months now... I lose a pound or two then gain it back and start all over again! So this week I kicked it into high gear and I am still losing and gaining the same 2lbs! I know if I stay with it, it will come off but I am trying so hard that it makes me angry that I am not doing very well...
Malia, I'll say to you the same thing I have to keep telling myself. The body will do this as the body will do it. No matter what our brains think and tell us, there are chemical processes that we have limited control over. All we can do is to NOT get frustrated and throw it all in.
Does this make me feel better? Not right now it isn't, but it is the lifeline I'm using not to soothe my sense of failure with a gallon or two of Ben and Jerry's finest creations.
My other frustration(s) are MFP based right now. I feel the need for support and ideas, but the boards I look at and post too are about dead. Little to nothing going on. Again, I want to just walk away, go find something new, but I have invested in these for almost a year now, and have come to care greatly about a lot of people on this board especially. So I lurk and try to be here for friends that call out with their need.
Maybe calling up something I have to say to a good friend from Hawaii, will give me the kick in the *kitten* that I need in NM too. I think Mark might be a better one to talk to right now. He powered through a lengthy plateau and I know fought the same demons I think we are facing.
So Malia, you aren't alone. I promise I'll grit through this, if you will. I have just under a month until my next doctor visit. I really want to be down 10 more pounds by then. It is do-able, if my body will agree. Time to go back to basics. Wadda-ya say shall we give it a run together (in cyber fashion?)0 -
dward59 (dan, right?), i am sorry i have not been on here very often lately. and sorry i haven't been encouraging you like i should have been. you are always there for me with a kind, supportive word when i need it.
you are almost at 150 lbs lost and that is awesome! i just hit that milestone so i know how good it feels and how frustrating it was the the last month or so, trying so hard to hit goal and bouncing those same 2 pounds around.
you are dong great and you are a very good friend to all of us in this group. keep on keeping on and i will try to be more talkative this next month.
jackie0 -
Dan and Jackie, I want you both to know how encouraged I, am by your accomplishments. People who have done the work and stayed the course like y'all, and like Paula and Mark, and all those who are so far ahead of me on the journey, you give me hope. I should say it more often because you deserve it...you've earned it. There are days when I think about needing to lose 115 pounds and I get terrified. It seems impossible. But then, I can say that I know people who have done it, are doing it. And not only that, but they are voluntarily helping others to do it, as well.
I need you. And I need to remember that you need that support, too. I am guilty of taking for granted that those who have lost so much weight have beat their problems and are invincible.
Thank you. And that goes for everyone who posts on this site. I need this connection, and I want to offer that same support to you.0 -
I thought I posted to this yesterday. (Somewhere an abandoned post sits, waiting for the click to set it free.)
Jackie and Leanna, I appreciate the response. It is ironic, I have gotten so busy doing things I don't check MFP as regularly as I did, but I'm whining because the posting has dropped off. I guess I should recognize this as a good thing for everyone as they feel well enough to be off the computer and working on real LIFE!
Anyway, tomorrow starts the new month. I have a business trip in less than a week that will run for eight days that I can either use to get myself back on track or will blow me further out. I'm planning on the former. Since I'm driving I will take a cooler filled with Protein drinks for the week. Quest bars for the week, and will plan on having a salad with lean protein for the last meal of the day. Since the place I'm staying has a kitchenette, I'll stock the fridge with Greek Yogurt.
If I can really spend a full week on just those things, it should help me get back into WLS eating form. I'm going to try to go mostly with similar this week at work too.
Speaking of work, I should be leaving right now! Be well everyone.0 -
Thanks for the advice Dan, and I promise to grit through it as well! It's spring and it's time to get serious! I'm gonna try to think of some new weekly challenges for the group, and maybe it will help to get some of us re-motivated :drinker: Again thanks for taking the time to help a friend in need!0
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I find myself reading and not posting on the boards. The 'funny' thing is I do better when I post replies and talk about how I am doing.
So... thank you Dan for reminding me how important we are to each other in this journey.
I've had a rough March and in retrospect if I had been communicating here I may have gotten thru March a little better. :blushing: So, I will take that as a learning experience and go into April head first.
Thank you my friends and I will chat with you later0 -
As usual...Dan is right. * sigh *
We must not only be mindful of our needs and watchful over our wants and cravings, we must also be patient with the astoundingly complex and varied chemical processes that must occur to turn stored energy into fuel for daily life.
It took me years to get this way, it will take years to put me back to spec. I get that. Now. But first I had to wander most of the winter over a nigh endless plateau,
But the spring is here now and I am rocking a new exercise class, and upping my walkies game. ( I spend more time with my glutes and core activated and pluse the muscles when I march. It's like crunches...but without the fuss, or having to get on the floor.)
So yeah...while I did not lose much weight over the winter, I dropped a pant size and I can see a vague hint of ribs and other evidence of a human skeleton holding up flesh and blood, where once there was but waves of wobbles. Therefore I can say with confidence I have met my goal and got into shape. Because round is still a WAAAAAY better shape than amorphous blob.
But I am still working on rectangle! Watch me go!
I would not have had the strength to keep going without your help, my MFP friends and acquaintances.
Thank you to everyone who reads and posts and cheers!
I hope you too are working towards your happy geometry; whatever shape that may be.
Cheers!
Mark0 -
... happy geometry.. tee hee.. I love it... And congrats on your success, Mark, physically and mentally.0
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I haven't been around much for about a month due to getting meds and other stuff straightened out. It's been a mess. Due to no longer working my finances are in shambles as I am lacking about $50 more a month than what I have now. This means my eating has gone to pot. I am trying to figure out how to get three meals and between 2 to 3 snacks in a day for around $5 for the entire day. Coupons I find are usually for TV dinners, french fries, and other similar foods. I find the occasional one for Yoplait! Greek yogurt, but it is good for one container, if I can even find it in the stores, which I can't, not even at Mama Jean's the local health food store. While I can afford strictly lettuce salads, which really aren't true salads, I can't exist on that. Protein is expensive as all get out locally, probably that way everywhere else too. Getting put on the lithium and the weight quickly came back on and then as I'm getting off of that I'm struggling to find a way to eat without starving and within a tight budget. Due to the lithium I had to hold off on a lot activity as it was causing the water levels to drop in my body too quickly resulting in a dramatic increase to the density of the med in my system making me sick. On that med not really supposed to spend much time in the sun, can't drink too much or flush it, yadda, yadda. So, I'm off of it, but now I have to get back into the groove with exercise along with other things. They're thinking of moving me to another city where I'd have to adjust to a lot more than just these few things. I need to get food back on track, somehow, just gotta get the math to work. Increasing activity level is at least one thing I don't have to wait to start on. I've accepted I'm going to end up at a food bank this month, but that means I'll be getting soups, pasta, rice, a loaf of white bread, and another jar of peanut butter. Oh, and I forgot. The single slice of American cheese. Just, urgh. Urgh, urgh, urgh and urgh some more. :explode:0
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Maelyn, it's nice to see you post! It has to be frustrating to work all of these things out! I knew how expensive food can be and how bad it can feel on a tight budget but you can do it! Even if you have to add some not the best foods try and balance things out as best you can! I don't remember where you live so I am not sure what all your options are, but firstly you have to eat! You can work through the rest! If your limited to the cheap foods pick the best of the worst, if you do use the food bank than you can use your cash to top up on healthier foods! Canned tuna and ham are good sources of protein you can smear on your white bread and balance things out! Most grocery stores have discount areas where the fruit is really ripe buy in small groups and eat soon! And mostly don't let it get you! Vent plenty to us we are here!
Btw not sure if you ever tried to make your own soups and stuff but you can often do that for cheap! I used to do it all the time when I was on government assistance, I made my own soups and biscuits and had potted vegetables like lettuce on my balcony! It was weird but effective!0 -
A friend of mine has decided to help me out. She has given me $50 dollars to get what I need. It has to last for awhile, but it's a start. It means my cat gets his wet food as well and the better litter just in time for my quarterly inspection. I'll be spending most of it on non-food items, but it'll still help as I have $12 left of my food budget and it'll give me $14 left out of the fifty once I pay for the cat stuff and TP, meds, transportation, etc., which should be enough to get me through until I get my next allowance check on the 17th.
I am frustrated with myself for the lack of confidence I have in a friend of mine to actually follow through with her current plan for getting in shape and losing weight. I've just watched her for so long say she is going to do something, go at it for an hour or two for an eating pattern change and five minutes for starting a new exercise regime. It's not as if I have never supported her or tried to help her. I've sat with her and gone over exercised designed to hit the areas she wants to hit, figured up together a simple exercise plan. When she talked about watching calories I gave her one of my calorie counters and we talked about portion sizes and how that can trip a person up. I offered, when I had the money, to pay for her membership to the Y that would give her access to two locations in town she could go to. We've made plans to exercise together which when the day came resulted in getting a message as to why it was no longer an option that day. I hear from her as to how she was "bad" on her eating plan. (By the way, I've come to loathe that terminology? I don't like its implications and the way I see it used.) The being "bad" statements come at least once a day, if not more, and we go over again how she needs to not skip meals and that having a third of a fifty-cent bag of sunflower seeds is not a breakfast or lunch. I've seen all of this and more for too long. As I said, I want to have faith that this time will be it and not that in a month I'll be buying her workout DVD set from her as it was too (pick a negative adjective). I think it is more to do with I just don't have the energy to go through supporting her as she tells me all the reasons she can't. She actually got rid of exercise equipment saying it didn't work, but when pressed admitted to not using it. Okay, I'm rambling now. Hopefully, this time it'll help her achieve her goals without the excuses.0 -
Several of you have asked why I haven’t been posting and asked if I am OK. Thank you for your concerns, I appreciate the good thoughts and support.
In 2009, I had a total right knee replacement. In Oct of 2012, I had two operations to remove two invasive malignant melanomas from the bottom of my right foot. In October of 2013, I had two more operations on my right foot to remove another malignant melanoma. Because of all this, I have favored my right leg and put abnormal pressure on my left leg. Now I have stabbing pain in my left groin every step I take. In discussing this with my doctor, he thinks it is a hip joint problem. I have to see an orthopedist. I’m not looking forward to another replacement operation.
I have had Atrial Fibrillation since 2011 but it had been controlled by medication. In Aug of 2012, I went into persistent Afib for about two years. During this time, my left atria enlarged from working overtime, and the output of blood dropped to 32%. I couldn’t get enough blood to my lungs which resulted in me being unable to walk more than a few steps without having to rest. I went on anti-arrhythmia drugs and drugs to slow my heart down (from 172 beats per minute). I had four cardioversions to get my heart back into normal rhythm but the first three didn’t take for more than a few hours so the drugs were increased until the last cardioversion. That one worked and I have been in normal rhythm for almost seven months. After four months, my heart output had climbed to 48%. Some of the drugs that I was taking are real nasty and can have some very bad side effects. The results of my last lab tests showed that I may have liver damage because of these drugs. I have been taken off some of the worst drugs and will have to follow up with more liver enzyme tests.
I started off this year with the major Afib and cancer problems behind me, was losing weight and exercising, but these recent problems really got me depressed, so I went back to eating my normal unhealthy self and gained 8 pounds.
So I was a crybaby for a few weeks, but yesterday I started back on the health wagon.
This is why I haven’t been posting. I did, however, log everything even when I was eating crap, so at least logging is ingrained in me.
Chuck0 -
Chuck,
I am so glad you checked back in. What you have gone through is stunning. Thank you for sharing. Congratulations on logging faithfully and getting back on track after what sounds like a well-deserved meltdown. :ohwell: Sometimes we need that.
My 93 year old mother-in-law had intense pain yesterday and I was frantically taking care of her and hoping it wasn't a possible fractured vertebra (per doctor). Then at work today it just hit me and I wanted to cry. She's better now and so am I. But I had needed to crash. It was all just too much.
It sounds what you've gone through is a hundred times worse. And I am so proud of you for pulling through!
Paula0 -
Maelyn, I understands why you would be frustrated in yourself for not having confidence in someone else but you need to remember that you cannot choose her right time, I hope she finds it but she the confidence in herself too! It sounds harsh but you have a lot on your own plate! Maybe your own success can help your friend! It's awesome that you want to help out though sounds like you care very much for the people in your life!
Chuck: thanks for sharing March beat a lot of us up! By coming back after you were done you proved to yourself I'm sure that some things have changed! I can empathize with the ongoing health issues and how they can be so frustrating, it sounds like it's more important than ever for you to take control of your body!
Paula: stressful time! Crying is good for you, and venting!!!0 -
@Chuck: I haven't had nearly those kinds of problems but I do understand the dangers of medications quite well as one cooked my thyroid completely. I can't imagine the courage it has taken to keep pushing on. I am glad you are posting an update and that things are looking better, to some degree. As Paula said, sometimes we need that little breakdown to get us back to where we need to be emotionally.
@Holly: Sometimes I think I care too much, meaning I get too involved in trying to help them. It is one reason I am open to the idea of moving to Columbia, MO. It would put a physical distance between memories I'm not ready to deal with yet and those that I feel the most need to help out with. It's a way of forcing myself to take a break from things. Of course, it doesn't mean my patterns will really change when/if I get there..so, I don't know. But I still feel the move would be good for me to get away from things here for awhile at least. I do worry though about what will happen if I'm not here, which makes me feel arrogant actually. As it implies I think the people in my life can't get along without me, when I'm pretty sure they really can.
@Paula: I'm glad she's doing better now. I know how it feels. My grandmother is 84, almost 85, and a couple of months ago did fracture three of her vertebrae. She's had a few problems since then that have resulted in me frantically finding rides to get to her to help her through whatever is going on regardless of what I have going on. I do cry sometimes when it hits me everything that she's going through in the past couple of years.0 -
Sometimes people need tough love. Support of their bad habits simply reinforces their current habits instead of helping them change. It is so hard to hurt someone in order to help them. But that's what it feels like.Sometimes I think I care too much, meaning I get too involved in trying to help them. It is one reason I am open to the idea of moving to Columbia, MO. It would put a physical distance between memories I'm not ready to deal with yet and those that I feel the most need to help out with. It's a way of forcing myself to take a break from things. Of course, it doesn't mean my patterns will really change when/if I get there..so, I don't know. But I still feel the move would be good for me to get away from things here for awhile at least. I do worry though about what will happen if I'm not here, which makes me feel arrogant actually. As it implies I think the people in my life can't get along without me, when I'm pretty sure they really can.
Sometimes we need to help ourselves before we can help others. You sound like you have a big heart, and need some help to steel yourself to what needs to be done. If you google "codependency support groups" I think you will find lots of helpful ideas to create barriers. Then maybe you wouldn't need to create a physical barrier by actually moving away.
Whatever you do, best wishes!
Paula0 -
@Paula: I am not pushing my friend. I do ask occasionally but I don't press it. I do have a hard time sticking to boundries I set with people. I'm strong at first, and then I cave, not as bad as I used to be though. Like most people, I just wish people would stop asking for advice if they are going to immediately ignore it. Oh, well. I'm better with it now that I got it out. Thank you.0
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Etherlily, it's great that you care. But I have a feeling you're one of the fix it people. That's NOT a bad thing. When something isn't to your liking you want to change to fix it and that's a STRONG way to be. Some people aren't... they're not happy about the situation but it is more comfortable to stay the same than it is to fix it. So they talk about change but until something happens to make it worse... nothing will change. The only way to be a friend to someone like this is to listen, because they will only make a change on their terms and in their time. That's why we're encouraged to be doing this for ourselves and not for other reasons. Because in the end we are the only ones who can MAKE US STAY ACCOUNTABLE for our own actions and decisions. I can tell you're probably a sweetheart though. :flowerforyou:
Paula, I'm glad your MIL is doing ok. That sound very scary.0 -
Accidentally erased my previous message. Guess it's a sign to not to rant until I cool off. Hate smiling and nodding when I'm fuming inside. Anybody need a good bookkeeper?0
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Smiling and nodding when your pissed off is always hard but the more you smile and laugh the better you will feel usually! Hope whatever cools down and doesn't keep you down 0
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I am an emotional eater. My husband has not been helping with anything around the house and with the kids. Lately he expects me to figure out then fix what he is going to eat for dinner. FRUSTRATED! When I started this program with the UofM he was one of my biggest supporters. Now I feel like he is not there at all for me in this time of need. Plus, when the kids need food, attention, or diaper changes, he leaves - goes outside or gets on the computer. Just ignores what is going on in the house. I ask for help and don't get it. Right now all I want to do is cry and eat, then eat some more. We used to be partners in everything, if one of us started cleaning, the other got up and started helping. I don't know what is going on with him. What I do know is that I feel like I'm about to crumble. I miss my wonderful husband.
We will get thru this, together.0
