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You Might Be a Keto Dieter if.....

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DittoDan
DittoDan Posts: 1,850 Member
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On the lines of Jeff Foxworthy and his comedy skit called: "You Might Be A Redneck If....", I thought I would start a, "You Might Be a Keto Dieter if....."

You might be a Keto Dieter if, you are constantly pulling discarded food packages out of the trash so you can scan the label into MFP...

You might be a Keto Dieter if, people "correct you" when you tell them you are on a high fat diet...

You might be a Keto Dieter if, people give you a "double take" when you say you are on a high fat diet...

You might be a Keto Dieter if, you know what a "fat bomb" is....

You might be a Keto Dieter if, you know what the "Fat Head" video is on YouTube...

You might be a Keto Dieter if, you know who Phinney, Volek, Taube and Atkins are....

You might be a Keto Dieter if, being "Keto adapted" is a goal in your life....

You might be a Keto Dieter if, your macros get adjusted ever so often....

You might be a Keto Dieter if, you think carbs are evil and sin-like and to be avoided....

You might be a Keto Dieter if, you don't throw away your bacon drippings....

You might be a Keto Dieter if, LCHF is your WOE & WOL...

You might be a Keto Dieter if, ????

Help me add to this... :laugh:

Dan the Man from Michigan
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Replies

  • lulalacroix
    lulalacroix Posts: 1,082 Member
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    Lol. I like this post.

    You might be a keto dieter if adding butter to your coffee is normal.

    You might be a keto dieter if funky smelling pee is a good thing.
  • judiness101
    judiness101 Posts: 119 Member
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    You might be a keto dieter if you make sure you take enough sodium.
    You might be a keto dieter if you'd rather have an all egg yolk omelette than an egg white omelette.
    You might be a keto dieter if you despise most vegetable oil and prefer to cook in animal fat
    You might be a keto dieter if you argue often to people that fruits are not that healthy for you.
  • aeb09
    aeb09 Posts: 424 Member
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    If you laugh to yourself when reaching for full fat salad dressing/mayo/sour cream/cream cheese/yogurt while everyone else looks for low fat options.

    :laugh:
  • middleagedmeh
    middleagedmeh Posts: 104 Member
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    You might be on keto if you hoard all the butter packets at a dinner out while refusing to touch the rolls.

    That one has weirded out some of my friends.
  • wonderfullymadebyhim
    wonderfullymadebyhim Posts: 170 Member
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    As I wrote on my timeline yesterday...

    ... You might be a keto dieter if you attend church and you ask your husband to drink the grape juice at communion you your behalf!
  • wonderfullymadebyhim
    wonderfullymadebyhim Posts: 170 Member
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    You might be a keto dieter if you waste bucket is littered with little sticks with purple tips!

    Or your dog follows you everywhere because she knows you're the most likely person in the house to drop a meat scrap.
  • wonderfullymadebyhim
    wonderfullymadebyhim Posts: 170 Member
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    You might be a keto dieter if you are researching or have purchased a meter to test your blood and you're not diabetic.
  • ScottLynn98
    ScottLynn98 Posts: 13 Member
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    If you laugh to yourself when reaching for full fat salad dressing/mayo/sour cream/cream cheese/yogurt while everyone else looks for low fat options.

    :laugh:

    I know I do!! :)
  • DittoDan
    DittoDan Posts: 1,850 Member
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    To Everybody

    So far, wonderful additions to the list!!!! I agree with ALL of them. I tried to edit my original post to add them, but apparently you can only do that for a limited time. Maybe later I can compile them and post it again...

    Keep them coming!

    Dan the Man from Michigan
  • FIT_Goat
    FIT_Goat Posts: 4,224 Member
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    ... you've ever ended a story with the phrase, "And that's when I learned to never trust a fart."

    ... you've buttered a steak.

    ... you instantly put down a product if the words "low fat" appear on the label.
  • baconslave
    baconslave Posts: 6,958 Member
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    ... you've ever ended a story with the phrase, "And that's when I learned to never trust a fart."

    ... you've buttered a steak.

    ... you instantly put down a product if the words "low fat" appear on the label.
    :laugh:

    Your first one...truer words never spoken. :laugh:
  • baconslave
    baconslave Posts: 6,958 Member
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    You might be a keto dieter if...deviled eggs are a good breakfast.
    You might be a keto dieter if your coffee looks like an oil tanker wrecked inside.
    You might be a keto dieter if you have a large jar/container full of bacon fat in your fridge.
    You might be a keto dieter if you order your steak with butter on the side.

    Or maybe these are just me. I'm such a freak. :laugh:
  • Dragonwolf
    Dragonwolf Posts: 5,600 Member
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    ...you have no qualms with eating a spoon full of coconut oil or butter, straight.

    ...you want to throw your computer out the window when you have to do the "healthy choices" program for your insurance and it yells at you for your high fat intake, despite all your biomarkers being pristine.

    ...you cringe when your MIL talks about the program she's on and how they have her down to 1100 calories and she can't figure out why she can't lose weight/get off the diabetes medication (and you know the solution, but she won't listen).

    ...you get all giddy when bulk coconut oil (or butter) goes on sale.

    ...your local butcher thinks you're insane for the crazy things you ask for, but doesn't argue, because you've taken a few hundred pounds of pork and beef fat, among other strange things, off his hands.

    ...you spend more time/money in the meat and dairy sections of your grocery store than every other patron combined (if you go to the store at all and don't just buy from bulk sellers and butchers).
    ... you instantly put down a product if the words "low fat" appear on the label.

    or you didn't pick it up to begin with and went straight for the full fat version. :happy:

    And! Your immediate response to seeing "low-fat" on a label is a disgusted cringe.
  • DAM5412
    DAM5412 Posts: 660 Member
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    You throw away half your lunch after logging it (before eating it) because you didn't realize how many carbs were in spaghetti squash.
    You like the taste of coconut oil.
    You know what Magnesium and Potassium (specifically lack of either) do for the body.
    You order nachos at a restaurant but don't eat any of the chips.

    Hmmm...know there are more so will have to revisit this!
  • mrsfancyab
    mrsfancyab Posts: 64 Member
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    You might be a keto dieter if... you dip your meat in cream cheese.
    You might be a keto dieter if... the amount of sugar in fruit makes you go eek.
    You might be a keto dieter if... you drink all your liquor straight.
    You might be a keto dieter if... your pee runs you out the bathroom.

    :#:p
  • lulalacroix
    lulalacroix Posts: 1,082 Member
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    You might be a keto dieter if your dh offers you straight butter during the bread portion of your dinner out.
  • TheTrophyWife
    TheTrophyWife Posts: 86 Member
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    Dragonwolf wrote: »

    ...you want to throw your computer out the window when you have to do the "healthy choices" program for your insurance and it yells at you for your high fat intake, despite all your biomarkers being pristine.

    OMG! I thought I was the only one! I dropped about 10lbs in a week and felt really good about it until the damned "healthy choices" program scored me at 87% because of my high fat intake. "You should add more fruits, vegetables, and GRAINS to your meals." HA! I think not!

    Here's one I haven't seen:

    You might be a keto dieter if you dip all of your food in melted butter.
  • TheTrophyWife
    TheTrophyWife Posts: 86 Member
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    ...if people think you're speaking in code when you talk about your macros, micros, HDLs, and LDLs.
  • Kris6344
    Kris6344 Posts: 23 Member
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    ... you drench your food in oil and cream without a second thought, but meticulously measure your VEGETABLES so you don't have TOO MANY!
  • Kris6344
    Kris6344 Posts: 23 Member
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    Dragonwolf wrote: »
    ...you want to throw your computer out the window when you have to do the "healthy choices" program for your insurance and it yells at you for your high fat intake, despite all your biomarkers being pristine.

    That WOULD BE infuriating!

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