Bisexuals/Pansexuals
chocolateandvodka
Posts: 1,850 Member
... tend to get kind of a bad rap. At least they do where i'm from. Especially the menfolk. Let's talk about it, shall we?
Why do you think that is?
What are some of the things you've heard as a bisexual or as a partner of a bisexual?
What were your reactions?
We all have preferences and types, but why is it that portions of the hetero crowd tends to believe that since we're bisexual, then we must find EVERYONE attractive with no specific taste?
Why do you think that is?
What are some of the things you've heard as a bisexual or as a partner of a bisexual?
What were your reactions?
We all have preferences and types, but why is it that portions of the hetero crowd tends to believe that since we're bisexual, then we must find EVERYONE attractive with no specific taste?
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Replies
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To be honest, I've never gotten a sense of "all bisexuals find everyone attractive" . Then again, my only real interaction is with people who KNOW better.
I'm kind of new to the partner thing. My BF is the first bi guy that I have been with and we haven't gotten to the point yet where we have explored it. We do however have a mutual understanding that neither of us will be doing anything with anyone else, male or female, unless we are both present and it's agreed upon.0 -
People around here for some odd reason think that bisexual means "*kitten*" so bisexuals are seen in a very negative light. I think the main problem is ignorance, people just assume that bisexuals are going around ****ing everyone and everything and don't think about what the word bisexual really means. They can't even wrap their minds around the concept that bisexuals have actual preferences and types they just think bisexuals have an open door policy for every human being within 100 miles. Its sad really, how stupid and close minded some people are.0
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There is certainly an unnecessary stigma attached to bisexuality. I think it's a pretty fantastic concept. I mean, I don't personally feel attracted to both genders, but if there are people out there that do I think that is just awesome. That just means there is more a chance of truly finding someone right for you.
I don't think it's slutty to have double the chance of ending up with the perfect person to spend the rest of your life with.0 -
I dated boys exclusively in high school, while being attracted to women. In college and the couple years after I dated exclusively women. Now I find myself engaging with both sexes. I find that I am initially way more attracted to women than men, but once I get to know men I can sometimes be attracted to them. But, I've found I don't usually have that tug at the heartstrings feeling I feel when I meet women until after I've already slept with the guy.
I never thought I would "go back", but as Dan Savage says female sexuality is ridiculously fluid.
So based on my own history I consider myself queer, because especially with girls it changes so much I don't know where I'm going. I'd prefer it if everyone were a little less attached to being one gender or the other, or one sexuality or the other. Even femme/butch ideas seem so stiff to me. I like the idea of losing attachment to these words that harbor connotations I don't believe anyone can fit into totally, without feeling like they 'have to' be something at some point or another (this includes terms like being a 'man', being a 'woman', being a 'lesbian').etc....
but this is just from my perspective and i know there are others who feel 100% comfortable with terms like man, boi, trans man, butch, etc.0 -
side note: if i hear one more straight man respond to finding out i'm bisexual with "oh really? need a third?" i will punch him in the man parts.0
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side note: if i hear one more straight man respond to finding out i'm bisexual with "oh really? need a third?" i will punch him in the man parts.
Oh geez. It's like constant solicitation.0 -
side note: if i hear one more straight man respond to finding out i'm bisexual with "oh really? need a third?" i will punch him in the man parts.
Oh geez. It's like constant solicitation.
:laugh: but no, seriously :grumble:0 -
I identify myself as poly-bi. I'm not 'out' in real life (except my husband and sister) but I've found the online world to be similar. People are constantly telling me that I need to "pick a side." And don't get me started on the poly thing. People just can't understand that you can love more than 1 person.0
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I feel Bisexuals get a bad rap because people find us threatening. If we don't have to pick a side , then everyones fair game. This is totally not true , but try to tell a non trusting person that its about taste and chemistry Now for my personal feelings - I think we're all born bi and lean one way or the other because of chemistry or taste , but everyone has the potential to love outside of thier "chosen lifestyle" if the right soul comes along. Example : My brother has aways claimed to be gay. But now finds himself in love with a woman. He feels bad and confused, very afraid to step outside his comfort zone. I keep teling him just to go with his heart , but he's afraid of what the community will think( we live in a small town- gays are frowned appon, bi are not accepted). I say follow your heart and who gives a rats *kitten* what anyone else thinks.
Blessings : )0 -
side note: if i hear one more straight man respond to finding out i'm bisexual with "oh really? need a third?" i will punch him in the man parts.
LOL! In my pics I am wearing a shirt that says, "Yes I am and no you can't watch!" lol :laugh:
When people act like I am a slut, or that I am attracted to just anyone, I find it interesting, I am actually VERY picky and I have to be attracted to a lot more than just the way a person looks. I love intelligence, a nice smile and people who don't act like *kitten* holes. (easier said than done to find them though... ) These things matter to me more than their genitals. :bigsmile:0 -
side note: if i hear one more straight man respond to finding out i'm bisexual with "oh really? need a third?" i will punch him in the man parts.
Also, no sir, you can't watch. I don't like chicks for your spank bank.
I often say bisexuals are the red headed step child of the LGTB community.0 -
side note: if i hear one more straight man respond to finding out i'm bisexual with "oh really? need a third?" i will punch him in the man parts.
Also, no sir, you can't watch. I don't like chicks for your spank bank.
I often say bisexuals are the red headed step child of the LGTB community.
Yep, and I also happen to be red headed
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I identify myself as poly-bi. I'm not 'out' in real life (except my husband and sister) but I've found the online world to be similar. People are constantly telling me that I need to "pick a side." And don't get me started on the poly thing. People just can't understand that you can love more than 1 person.
YES YES YES!!! I'm 23 and poly-bi/pan/whatever and people keep telling me I'm too young to know. I'm going to start stabbing people.0 -
side note: if i hear one more straight man respond to finding out i'm bisexual with "oh really? need a third?" i will punch him in the man parts.
Also, no sir, you can't watch. I don't like chicks for your spank bank.
I often say bisexuals are the red headed step child of the LGTB community.
Yep, and I also happen to be red headed
Aw, I love the gingers.0 -
My problem is more that, when I explain pansexual to someone, they generally respond with, "...so you're bisexual?", at which point much facepalming ensues.0
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My problem is more that, when I explain pansexual to someone, they generally respond with, "...so you're bisexual?", at which point much facepalming ensues.
To be fair, I had no idea what pansexual was until this past year, and that is the label that best describes me. When I explain it to people though I generally get, "So you'll sleep with anyone?" "Um, no. I will not be sleeping with you. Also, I still have standards."0 -
... tend to get kind of a bad rap. At least they do where i'm from. Especially the menfolk. Let's talk about it, shall we?
Why do you think that is?
What are some of the things you've heard as a bisexual or as a partner of a bisexual?
What were your reactions?
We all have preferences and types, but why is it that portions of the hetero crowd tends to believe that since we're bisexual, then we must find EVERYONE attractive with no specific taste?
i personally think that the people who give bisexuals the most crap are usually undercover bisexuals themselves, but felt the need to 'choose sides' because of what others think. i've had 'lesbians' give me crap (and then i later found out that they were sleeping with men also, which...makes them bi..not lesbian) and i've also had 'hetero' girls give me crap..and then later same girls tried to get in my pants. confused individuals want to confuse others..has always been my experience.
i've heard pretty much everything under the sun. i've been told by lesbians (who liked me and didn't know my orientation) that they would never date a bisexual because we 'flip sides', will cheat on them with a man, will bring diseases to our women from the men we slept with the previous day. it's ironic that in such an anti-discriminatory community, you find discrimination...
my reactions? i tell them i'm a very proud bisexual. and that cheaters are not defined by orientation, but by character. i ask them would they rather their girlfriend cheat on them with another girl, or if they'd rather not have a cheater to begin with, and then i tell them, that maybe if they stopped focusing so much on labels, and started looking at a person's convictions, maybe they'd be better off.
personally, i'm not attracted to everyone i meet, and more oftentimes than not, once i hear them talk, or see how they are as a person..it usually narrows down who i'm attracted to significantly, male or female.0 -
My problem is more that, when I explain pansexual to someone, they generally respond with, "...so you're bisexual?", at which point much facepalming ensues.
This explained me for a good year. When I tried to explain that bisexuals tend to do more with gender binaries while pansexuals tend to go with the person's personality (this is not cut and dry and I am not assuming that everyone is like this), I get looks. o.o Then people want to ask how can I be pansexual. Then they want to know how can I be pansexual and asexual at the same time.
-shakes head- Too much grief. That's why I keep to myself.0 -
is that what a pansexual is?!
I never knew, I always thought it was straight, bi, and gay.0 -
is that what a pansexual is?!
I never knew, I always thought it was straight, bi, and gay.
It is a very loose definition for pansexual, yes. A few of the people I know do not like going as bisexual because most of the kiddies in high school gave them a bad name. So, they go with pansexual for that reason. o.o I see it as something else, but however a person wants to label themselves is fine.0 -
pansexual makes so much sense to me.
I'm attracted to personalities, of course looks happen, though I'm so attracted to people who know who Morrissey is0 -
Morrissey? Sounds like a species of tree.
lol0 -
I think the reason bisexuals/pansexuals get such a bad rap sometimes is the same reason you get so many bi people asserting that everyone is bi ... it's because some part of our sexuality is hardcoded into us. As a"bi" queer person, it's difficult for me to wrap my brain around the fact that some people really, truly are attracted to only one sex of person. Likewise, I think it is difficult for some people who are not bi or pan to wrap their minds around the idea that sex doesn't limit who we are attracted to. It's not all non-bi/pan people, but for some it might just be incomprehensible because it is so counter to their own sexual wiring.
That is why I personally disagree with saying everyone's bi or a little bi. I feel like that undermines other very valid sexualities simply because I am not that sexuality and therefore do not experience attraction that way.
I sometimes think it is like belief in god. You get people who KNOW that there IS a God and you get people who KNOW that there IS NOT. Most of the time these two camps simply don't get where the other is coming from. And you get people in between too. But for the people firmly on one side or the other, it is something you can feel to your core to the point where it seems like the other side has to be lying to feel so differently than you. But they're not ... like sexuality, belief in a God is something that can be partially hardcoded into our brains, too. (I use the religion analogy because it was after watching a very well done documentary on the temporal lobes by the BBC that I had my "a-ha!" moment about all of this.)0 -
pansexual makes so much sense to me.
I'm attracted to personalities, of course looks happen, though I'm so attracted to people who know who Morrissey is
What about it doesn't make sense? Maybe one of us can try to explain it.0 -
pansexual makes so much sense to me.
I'm attracted to personalities, of course looks happen, though I'm so attracted to people who know who Morrissey is
What about it doesn't make sense? Maybe one of us can try to explain it.
I think you read that wrong. >_>0 -
pansexual makes so much sense to me.
I'm attracted to personalities, of course looks happen, though I'm so attracted to people who know who Morrissey is
What about it doesn't make sense? Maybe one of us can try to explain it.
I think you read that wrong. >_>
I could have sworn that said "no sense"...0 -
it's cool, do it all the time.
what a weekend. my brain totally grew a wrinkle.
why the term "pan" though?0 -
What do you mean?0
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it's cool, do it all the time.
what a weekend. my brain totally grew a wrinkle.
why the term "pan" though?
According to Wikipedia, "The prefix "pan" comes from an Ancient Greek term meaning "all" or "every"". I figured as much. It's usually some sort of Greek or Latin prefix.0 -
... tend to get kind of a bad rap. At least they do where i'm from. Especially the menfolk. Let's talk about it, shall we?
Why do you think that is?
What are some of the things you've heard as a bisexual or as a partner of a bisexual?
What were your reactions?
We all have preferences and types, but why is it that portions of the hetero crowd tends to believe that since we're bisexual, then we must find EVERYONE attractive with no specific taste?
I'm attracted to a certain kind of personality... the gender of the body holding it is just accessories. And yes, I have standards too
Does this make me bi? pan? who cares. I love who I choose to love.0
This discussion has been closed.