Stay at home mom or not?

Wickedbookworm1977

Agree wih OP. Teach your kids not to be dependent upon their spouse. SAHM :yawn:

k8blujay2

As a Baptist in the South, I can assure you that those are blanket generalizations on both cultures.

I have never been to a wedding where a woman promised to support the male without the male making equal vows, and I never met anyone at my small-town Liberal Arts college that attented college only to find a husband.

But y'all can all continue to think that, and I can continue to hold the belief that everyone from Jersey is white trash. Sound good?

So are you saying that the poster who talked about the wedding she went to was lying? Or simply saying that "I've never seen that happen, so it must not."

Because I do know women who went to college to find husbands. It does happen. The world is bigger than your experiences.

I never said it didn't happen...I'm saying the same thing you are, which is that the world is bigger than any of our experiences.

I feel like all day today I have seen people make general blanket statements, such as yours in the religion thread, about how a certain subset of people WILL act based on their upbringing/religion/education/whatever.

All I'm saying is to stop the generalizing.

This was my sister and her husband, we grew up in Atlanta-- the South-- but that had nothing to do with the way my sister and her husband feel. They are Christian, which has a lot to do with their beliefs, though I don't think they are any denomination. Also, my sister dresses with modesty-- long dresses, always covered up, etc. And though my Mom was (RIP) baptist and my Father is Guadalupano Catholic, they didn't raise us to be submissive at all.

Although, in the area of NC that I live in now, there are A LOT of Southern Baptist families. The women always dress modestly and the people here believe a woman's function is to have children, clean the house, and cook. I've probably said it here before, but Dexter was not raised this way (even though he was raised here) and the guys in his unit get onto him for not feeling the way they do. That is, these guys say you don't love your wife, you just marry her to fulfill the duties of your wife. These SAME men go to church every Sunday and disagree with my religious choice, and yet these SAME men will say "you love your mistress, you don't love your wife"

DARN who ever bumped this thread!!!!

As a Baptist myself... we were not raised that my only function is to be barefoot and pregnant in the Kitchen... I did not vow to "honor and "obey"" my husband, either. And what we know as submit wasn't exactly what Paul meant in ancient Greek, it's a bit different than that... but it was the closest word in the English Language to what he meant... anyway, even if it was what he meant, the "Husbands, Love your wives as Christ loves the Church" always gets left out of the mix. Meaning that husbands aren't off the hook here and allowed to do/say whatever they damn well please.


Back to the topic. I would prefer to be a Part time SAHM mom... mostly because I don't want to get stuck in the event that my husband should die, I don't want to have to go through the working in minimum wage jobs (not that there is anything wrong with it but I've done that already, I don't want to do it again unless I have no choice) or going back to school full time to get back on track... but I do want to be there for my kids when they get home from school to help them with their homework.

k8blujay2

That's horrible. Going to college to find a husband? That just screams desperate.

You've never heard of the M-R-S degree? Cute girls major in fashion merchandising, become a Tri Del and find a future doctor. I think there's a book on it. (totally joking.....not trying to offend any cute girls, fashion merchandise majors or Tri Dels).

Patti beat me to it. Women going for their M.R.S. I even think I dated one in college. Not saying that's the ENTIRE reason she went. But she was never interested in classes or even a major or a career path. She always just wanted to get married and have kids.

So why go to college? M.R.S.

At my alma mater, there is actually an MRS minor... though it doesn't mean Mrs... :laugh: It's Medieval Renaissanse Studies. I laughed when I saw that in our Course Catalog... You could honestly get your minor in M.R.S.

Wickedbookworm1977

Yep, I went to college with girls like that. They weren't looking for an education. They were looking for someone who would take care of them. So sad that some people still do this.

TheRoadDog

If you and your spouse want a SAHM and you are financially able to manage it, who cares what others think. My mother stayed at home until all 5 of us were grown. We struggled financially, but it worked. She took a job once all of us had made it past grammar school. Then worked because she wanted to.

Most families now do not have the means to support a family on one income. Sadly it's not because it isn't possible; it's because many young couples find it necessary to utilize credit rather than save up for luxury items. Most young couples want it all and they want it now, putting themselves in a financial bind that necessitates credit purchases.

vim_n_vigor

All of the planning and thinking about this can go right out the window when the time comes. In our home, I make the majority of our income (80% or so), so there wasn't an option for me to be the SAHM. I so desperately wanted to. We looked at daycare and I just couldn't find anyone good enough to take care of my baby. In fact, I couldn't even walk into most of the places without crying. Luckily, my husband was able to stay home with our first two kids, and for this one, I have a babysitter that I am very comfortable with and have known since I was a very young child. Each family is going to have their reasons for how they choose to set up their family after a baby is born, financial, emotional, etc. I don't really think there is a right or wrong answer for this as long as the parents are at ease with their decision and their child is well taken care of.