Who's with me?
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Oi. I spent this last weekend eating a whole foods "cleansing" diet courtesy of Dr. Oz and now am feeling great but my relationship with wine/alcohol still bugs me. I am just not sure where I stand in relation to it. I don't think I'm an alcoholic - and certainly those in recovery I do know say Absolutely Not - but then again I am not comfortable with my reactions either. At the first signs of stress I just want to uncork. However, I KNOW I feel 100% better when I don't drink. I have more energy, sleep better, etc. etc. etc.
This is how I feel. I know it's not a drinking problem but then when I really think about it, I am kinda dependent on it for unwinding, celebrating, chilling and socialising. I got some really good marks on Friday evening and everyone was drinking to celebrate. I have got to say that was most definitely the most difficult night to date for me! Even my lecturer was saying have a beer and celebrate! I had a non alcoholic beer, and it tasted disgusting!
So in conclusion... I agree with the above, my relationship with alcohol is what I am trying to uncover and sort out. I still have just under two weeks left and it most definitely has been a most thought provoking time these last 4 and a bit weeks.
I'm interested to see how I feel on 8th April when I can drink.0 -
HoT - I'm so impressed you were able to hang tough! The figuring it out is tough. I have an incredibly somber and earnest nephew who told me when he was 7 that he was writing a really important play - a masterwork! - called FINDING OUT. I think he pretty much summed it up right there. Alas, though, I have yet to see the show.0
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I'm watching with great interest to see how the post-Lent drinking/not-drinking goes. I still have no idea how I'll feel when my year is up! I don't miss the alcohol at all at the moment, but I think that's because my brain has completely switched to acceptance of not having any for a set time. And I agree, I don't think I'm an alcoholic, but I really don't know where that leaves me in terms of my relationship with alcohol, because I still think it would be so easy to slip back into old habits. And yes, helenoftroy, congratulations for hanging in there. A great achievement!0
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When is Lent? When did it start and when does it end, exactly? (I'm not a Christian so I have absolutely no idea.) I know people who gave up things for Lent but have re-started again. In fact, most people I know who have given things up have been pretty lame - my friend who gave up alcohol for 2012 lasted 3 weeks. The only person I know who has managed to stick to their resolution is my little sis who wanted to go fishy/veggie this year and is still hanging on in there.0
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Lent starts on Ash Wednesday (the day after pancake day, or Shrove Tuesday) and goes until Good Friday. I know I would have learnt its significance in school, but I'm afraid it's long gone now. Have just looked on good old Wikipedia and it says it's the time the faithful use to prepare for Easter. And yes, it's true about people giving things up and not sticking with it. Not sure why - it's probably just too hard unless you have a really compelling reason for it. Have to say that at just about 13 weeks gone I think I'm over the hard part. one quarter in, three quarters to go. Not that I'm counting!0
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Sort of off topic but I seem to have developed an allergy to wine/alcohol! went to a wine tasting and I woke up the next day with my eyes swollen shut. Thought it was an isolated incident. Went to a wedding and didn't have a problem, but two days later I had 2 sips of a chardonnay, I have all the time, and my eyes instantly began to swell. Can definitely not order a glass of wine while I am out anymore because I don't know how it is going to affect me. Had a beer a couple of days ago and my face got hot and turned red! Had tofu and the same thing happened! Something is definitely changing and I cannot pinpoint what it is ! Wine is out! I have never had allergies before what is going on? Maybe someone is trying to tell me something?
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Oh dear, Dunk, that doesn't sound good at all! Could it be that sometimes our bodies go through periods of finding certain things allergic? I had a stage of virtually every food and drink making my skin itch (including booze, which was part of what led me to give it up), although now I am ok with most things apart from wheat and too much dairy.
I am back now from a few days in Wales, and I am pleased to say that I stayed off the naughty juice despite my husband sinking beers like a sailor. I can't say it was easy, but I am glad I stuck with it because I could not have done the 5 hour walk of death on a hangover! All I need now is for my legs to start working again, and the abstinence will have been fully worth it!0 -
Hi all, my name is Tiffany and my husband is an alcoholic. He started going to a support group about a month ago. I'm incredibly proud of him and to be supportive, I agreed that we would no longer keep any alcohol in the house. Because we have not had any alcohol in the house for the past month, I haven't really drank at all either. Not until this past weekend. We went out for dinner on Saturday night and he said it wouldn't bother him if I drank. His rationale being that since I don't have a problem, then at least one of us should enjoy a drink.
It's like that book If You Give A Mouse A Cookie. One glass of wine led to poor dinner choice, followed by the same thing the following day. I don't want this to turn into a downward spiral. I need to keep myself on a tight leash with empty calories and if that means abstinence from alcohol until my goal weight is met, then so be it. Also, add me if you wish. I am happy to support people in exchange for their support.0 -
Hi all -
I am back from Florida and assorted other wanderings (and my birthday) and back to logging and checking in. While away, I was not abstinent and 2x had way too much but in general not so bad. I just turned 49 yesterday and am going to make it a reason for extra good health. Preparing for 50: that's my theme song. I want to hit 50 feeling like a million bucks. Am trying to come up with a framework and set of goals (not just about drinking but that definitely included). Will continue to bend your ears about wine, I'm sure.
DunkR - that does sound like an allergy! Be careful. Maybe it's to sulfites? Since you also reacted to a food it seems like something more or in addition to alcohol. I have a friend who is allergic to alcohol too. Once he figured it out I think it was a great relief - those reactions are scary.
TRHuston - welcome aboard! I think it's great that you are supporting your husband and that he is getting clean.
HoT - how is it going now that Lent is over?
Opal - you are an inspiration -- both for the scope of your self-challenge (1 year!) and your sticking to it AND your consistency with logging and checking in. I am so glad you reached out to me those times. It reminded me that there is a whole community here trying hard to get healthier.
Hope you all have a good Thursday. Will check in later.0 -
Just checking in. Dunkrobertson - poor you, that sounds horrible, and it does seem like an allergy. I hope you can sort it out. I'd hate to think that I couldn't choose to have a drink if I wanted to.
Vacherin - well done for staying on track during your holiday - those are the hardest times, so great achievement!
TRHuston - wow. Well done to both your husband and to you. He's taken a huge step and it's fantastic that you've decided to support him that way. It sounds as though your dinner out really solidified your decision, so good luck with sticking to it. We'll all cheer you on
Martha - good to have you back, and thank you for the compliments. I commented on my profile yesterday that on my part it's a mix of sheer bloody-mindedness combined with a touch of OCD! Once I flick a switch, it doesn't go off until I get to where I want to be. It doesn't mean it's always easy, but it's definitely not hard, so I feel a bit of a fraud really.
Have a great weekend everyone and good luck sticking to your programmes!0 -
Opal24: Sheer bloody-mindedness is a great thing. I think I need a bit more myself.
Who is trying moderation here instead of abstinence and how is it going for you? I know I keep SAYING I am going to give it up entirely but I haven't yet so now I'm thinking a more effective strategy for me would be a mindful moderation but I'm not sure how to really do that effectively. Tips?0 -
I did lent with no wine, and I did 40 days with no alcohol! I went over to Africa for 2 and a half weeks and it was very tough not being able to drink, so I had a couple of ciders. Easter Sunday I had my glass of wine at 12pm and it was ...ok.
Last night I had a glass of wine and ended up giving the rest to my dad.
I have definitely lessened my drinking but I still definitely enjoy a glass of red or two now and again! I think this year in general has been an eye opener for me, as I have cut back dramatically from what I was drinking. I used to be able to do a bottle a night, now I can do a bottle a week!
Hope everyone else is doing ok and not letting it beat them!
I'm so proud of myself for doing lent without wine and now I know I don't need the red stuff to have fun!!!!
:drinker: :drinker: :drinker:0 -
Helenoftroy - congratulations on getting through your 40 days! I'm interested to see that you're now almost in 'take it or leave it' mode. I keep hoping that I'll feel like that after my year, because I hate the thought of never being able to have a glass of wine again. Martha - if you get any tips, I'll be taking them on board as well for the future!!
I've been interested these last couple of days to see my reaction to having to move house unexpectedly. I was so proud that I didn't want a drink when I first got the news - and in fact I still don't want one at the moment. What's really weird though, is that I keep getting this picture in my head of finding a place, moving in and then having a drink with all those kind people who've said they'll help me move. The picture is so clear that I just know it's going to be hard not giving in to it. In fact it's only the fact that I'd have to admit defeat to everyone that makes me think I'll survive intact. Watch this space :drinker: (or not!)0 -
Hey everyone
Sorry I haven't been around much - I have had a packed few weeks what with getting a new cat, my husband having an unexpected operation, and non-stop house guests. I am quite exhausted, because the nature of my husband's operation has meant he hasn't been able to do anything at all - no cooking, shopping, lifting, housework, nothing - so I have had to do everything for him and our guests. With everything that's been going on, exercise and healthy food choices have gone out of the window (I had crisps for dinner once),
The good news is that I have been logging everything and, although it hasn't been pretty reading, (1) I consider myself very lucky to only have gained 2lbs with all the chocolate and crisps I've been scoffing, and (2) I haven't touched any alcohol! Well, I did have a mouthful by accident when I was taking my vitamin pills and reached for the nearest glass to wash them down, which I thought was my elderflower cordial but it was the remains of my sister's white wine spritzer! But it truly was an accident (I don't even like white wine) and, best of all, it tasted really foul, like something was rotting in my mouth, and didn't tempt me to start drinking at all. I even stuck to orange juice and soda when I went to a concert with my friend - it was hard watching him packing in the pear ciders and not joining in, but I did it.
Hope everyone else is doing well? Opal, I hope your house move goes well. It can be a very stressful experience so you will do amazingly well if you stay off the booze.
V x0 -
Hi all,
HelenofTroy - Wow!! Good for you! I am so impressed by your change of tastebuds/interest and total 180 in terms of habits. The idea of resetting my taste buds/tolerance level makes the thought of 40 days of abstinence worth it.
Opal - And good for you too! With all the stress of having to move suddenly, it's fantastic that you haven't given in. I wonder if the image you are getting in your head (of drinking with all the people who help you move) is just a way of working through your game plan already.
Vacherin - Sorry to hear about all the unexpected (and unwelcome) things going on in your life. I agree that you have great reason to be proud that you are still in there swinging. Two pounds will come off in a flash. I admire your sticking with it so much.
On my end, I am coming up with a ten week plan to (a) refine my eating habits a bit and (b) continue with some very strenuous workouts. I am going to set a few goals over the course of the 10 weeks and work on them 1 by 1 with a trainer at my gym. He's really great. Will let you know what the goals are once I decide. Am now seriously considering the ## day abstinence challenge. I think if I know it's only for ## days, then I will be able to do it.
Happy Monday all!!0 -
what happened?!?! I was not drinking or drinking far less and then this week has happened upon me where I have gone a little crazy for no reason.
The only thing I can think of is I have finished all my essays for this years course and decided to actually have a day off completely to myself so thought I'll have a drink, then my parents took me out and there was wine. Now I feel like I used to :-(
Must nip this in the bud NOW!
Oh how easy the wine takes hold sometimes!
Naughty Helen, think I might go back to setting a deadline for not drinking, a date or something. What do you all think?0 -
Hi there. I think if it worked for you the first time (setting a date, etc.) then try it again now. It is really easy to fall back into it just like you have never left. I know from several go-rounds of personal experience in the last couple of months alone!
You can do it!!
Martha0 -
Setting a deadline has never worked for me, because I just binge-drank until the date to make the most of the booze whilst I could! Just start tomorrow - otherwise you never will.0
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I'm with you though I bet it will be a bloody nightmare giving up my wine on an evening. I start thinking about a drink at about 6pm and really look forward to it. 7up just isnt the same!0
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Welcome ladylemoncurd (love the name, by the way!). Caffeine free diet coke is my replacement of choice, and you're right, it isn't the same, but it'll do me for now. I'll look forward to sharing the journey with you. Christine0
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I'm in! Love my glasses of wine at night far too much. I am determined to loose weight so really need to cut down. My goal is not to drink during the week and only at weekends socially.0
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Welcome aboard weighlessdiva! Good luck with your goal - I'm so impressed with those of you who can just cut back! (Love the quote on your profile too!). Christine0
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First night last night where Uncle Alcohol didn't visit! I felt SO good this morning. But I got on the scales and I'd put 1lb 4oz on. Gah - that will teach me not to get on them every morning.0
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Hey there -
Welcome to you both! Good for you - not drinking. It does help with sleep I find. I am cheering for you!
Martha (Change_Agent)0 -
Three nights now without alcohol. I can't say I've missed it that much (excepting about 6pm when I REALLY want a glass) but I sleep so heavily and wake up feeling groggy and headachey. I think that over the years I've slept very lightly prolly because of the wine and now that's out of my system I'm sleeping like the dead.
It's our 23rd wedding anniversary Sunday though so think we will go out.
Thanks Martha and Christine for your words of support, Julia0 -
Hello all -
I have been looking for some support with this big hurdle and am glad to find this group! I have been losing consistently, if slowly, even with beer and wine in my life, but I know it is not healthy to eat less in order to have the calories "allowed" for alcohol. Time for a bit of control!
I'm sure you all know how weirdly scary it feels to stop or severely limit intake! I'm starting today, and will decide if I allow one free day a week or not as I go. I'll keep checking back here for inspiration! Thanks --
liselyn0 -
OK, first day wasn't the greatest! I had a nice pint of IPA, but stopped at that. Hmmph.
Today and tomorrow will be easier -- I have to have no alcohol for two full days before some blood work on Monday, so that's that! On Monday I'll try to keep with it!
Hope everyone is doing well.
liselyn0 -
Hello Jugar - I've cut down massively last 7 days 5 of them haven't drunk a drop. It's been really hard though.
On the upside, I now wake up instead of coming round eventually
)
Good luck xxx0 -
Thanks! Feels good -- I had to stay up really late last night to go pick up my son after a school outing, and it was easy with no sleep-inducing substances in my system! Slept great, and feel wonderful today. I hope to keep this up! :happy:
One of the food plans I really like allows for a completely free day per week, :drinker: and one meal during the rest of the week that is free and can include ONE glass of wine or beer. I'm not sure I'd be good at the ONE glass meal, :noway: but think I will try for the only one free day per week. This will keep me on the straight and narrow for both food and alcohol 6 days a week. I have done this plan before for a few weeks when I was starting out, and it seems like a good time to go back to it.
Why is it hard? We know it makes sense, feel great when we don't drink, but still do it anyhow. Stories and theories welcome!
liselyn0 -
If you find the answer to that one liselyn PLEASE share
I think there are a lot of us who'd be interested. And it sounds as though you have a plan that should work for you.
Julia - it sounds as though you're doing really well - I know just what you mean about waking up instead of coming round! It is a good feeling, isn't it?
Good luck to you both - I'm with you all the way!
Christine0
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