Does being single embarrass you?

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  • lorro
    lorro Posts: 917 Member
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    It doesn't embarrass me, though twice it has been a bit awkward at a formal social event when I didn't take a date and the hostess made a fuss of who I was going to talk to, as if it was a social problem. I love meeting new people. If I'd wanted someone to talk to all night, I'd have taken a date :grumble:

    Hahaha! You should have looked at her all serious and whispered, "I came alone because I intend to steal someone else's date."

    Ha! Good one :smile: Reminds me of when I was newly single and it used to bother me when people asked if I had been seeing any nice men (in a way that I knew meant, "Are you getting any?"). To which, after replying, I would ask how their sex life with their husband was going :laugh:
  • MaraDiaz
    MaraDiaz Posts: 4,604 Member
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    :laugh:
    It doesn't embarrass me, though twice it has been a bit awkward at a formal social event when I didn't take a date and the hostess made a fuss of who I was going to talk to, as if it was a social problem. I love meeting new people. If I'd wanted someone to talk to all night, I'd have taken a date :grumble:

    Hahaha! You should have looked at her all serious and whispered, "I came alone because I intend to steal someone else's date."

    Ha! Good one :smile: Reminds me of when I was newly single and it used to bother me when people asked if I had been seeing any nice men (in a way that I knew meant, "Are you getting any?"). To which, after replying, I would ask how their sex life with their husband was going

    :laugh:
  • MaraDiaz
    MaraDiaz Posts: 4,604 Member
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    Not anymore. Not since I found out a couple of years ago PoF has plenty of semi-literate, beer gut toting, wife beater wearing trailer park grandpas ready to snap me up.

    I might not have many options, but at least I have the option to say that's okay, I'll pass!

    Lmao! I stopped searching after POF.

    Plenty of Fish is like shooting fish in a barrel. The bottom of the barrel!
  • kkjay
    kkjay Posts: 62
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    It used to bother me all the time. I didn't get a serious boyfriend until later in life, so I always felt uncomfortable about it. First I got into a relationship just to be in one... bad idea, realized I had to work on myself, so that's what I did. I learned to be happy being me. Years later I got into a serious relationship thinking it was what I wanted. I was unhappy and broke up with him. I've realized I'm so much happier on my own, being single. I love it. I guess I'm more independent than I thought.
  • nammer79
    nammer79 Posts: 707 Member
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    nope I'm happy so whats to be embarrassed about .... my biggest problem is that my granny doesn't understand that I can take care of myself.
  • usedasbrandnew
    usedasbrandnew Posts: 300 Member
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    What is it with dads questioning the sexuality of their single daughters?? My dad used to tell me all the time in high school, it's ok with me if you're gay, I'll love you just as much. And sit there waiting for me to answer...

    Really the only time I feel self conscious is when I have to eat out alone. I bring a book so I don't feel so... alone? lol
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    What is it with dads questioning the sexuality of their single daughters?? My dad used to tell me all the time in high school, it's ok with me if you're gay, I'll love you just as much. And sit there waiting for me to answer...

    My dad used to do this to my brother, who didn't date much in high school or college. He was very popular with the ladies and had girls calling him all the time, but he's the type who is turned off by women who chase him. And he had a knack for asking out women who were already involved with someone (and not forthcoming about it), so he had a really hard time finding a woman he could be in a serious relationship with. My dad used to say "I know you aren't gay, but people are going to think you are if you don't find someone and get married soon."

    My dad is also constantly harping on my sister and me about how you shouldn't wait till your 30s to have kids. We'll be 30 in September, and my sister and her husband have only recently decided they want children. He thinks this is stupid because "You're going to 50 when your kid graduates from high school!" as though that's the worst thing in the world. I'm not even married yet, and he acts like I should just resign myself to being single and childless forever. I think the baby boomers still don't get that it is okay, and in many cases preferable, to get married and have kids later than they did.
  • MissingMinnesota
    MissingMinnesota Posts: 7,486 Member
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    What is it with dads questioning the sexuality of their single daughters?? My dad used to tell me all the time in high school, it's ok with me if you're gay, I'll love you just as much. And sit there waiting for me to answer...

    Really the only time I feel self conscious is when I have to eat out alone. I bring a book so I don't feel so... alone? lol

    I actually got it from my mother since I would never tell them when I was dating a guy or interested in one. I was never the boy hungry teen girl with pictures of actors or musicans around me room (other then Jim Morrision and The Beatles).

    I only feel embrassed when people my grandparents age ask me about being married or etc.
  • shamrck44
    shamrck44 Posts: 91
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    No I am not embarrassed to be single. I am pretty happy about it right now. Nobody really asks or implies that I should try to find someone. It has been hard on my relationship with BFF, she is still married and does a lot of things as a couple, so I get excluded a lot.
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
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    What is it with dads questioning the sexuality of their single daughters?? My dad used to tell me all the time in high school, it's ok with me if you're gay, I'll love you just as much. And sit there waiting for me to answer...

    I've never had a boyfriend or anything, and I don't really talk to my parents about this kind of thing. I've been on two dates with this one and both times my mom has happened to call me later and say "oh what did you do tonight?" I flat out lied. I just don't want to get too excited and have my mom get excited and have it crash and burn. I'd rather call my mom when something serious happens and be like "just so you know, I've been seeing this guy and whatever." Because I don't talk to them about it, sometimes I worry they think I'm a lesbian and are just scared to ask me.
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,370 Member
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    Embarrased...no.
    Is it awkward for myself and others at times...yes.
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
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    Really the only time I feel self conscious is when I have to eat out alone. I bring a book so I don't feel so... alone? lol
    [/quote]

    Dining out is a not an easy thing for singles, and it is an overlooked component of single life. The sit down restaurant experience wasn’t designed for parties of one. Therefore, it is more common to eat alone at fast food places or fast casual (Boston Market, Panera & Chipotle would be good examples of fast casual).

    Dining alone at a place like Chili’s, Applebee’s or any place with table service isn’t going to happen for me. I’m only at a sit down restaurant when I’m with friends, a Meetup group or on a date (a later date, usually around a third date and beyond).
    My dad is also constantly harping on my sister and me about how you shouldn't wait till your 30s to have kids. We'll be 30 in September, and my sister and her husband have only recently decided they want children. He thinks this is stupid because "You're going to 50 when your kid graduates from high school!" as though that's the worst thing in the world. I'm not even married yet, and he acts like I should just resign myself to being single and childless forever. I think the baby boomers still don't get that it is okay, and in many cases preferable, to get married and have kids later than they did.
    [/quote]

    Yes and no. Things were done differently for the early Boomers (born before 1955) and their parents in the GI Generation (birth years 1910-1925). In the GI Generation, getting married before 21 was normal. You married your high school sweetheart and stayed together for 50 years.

    The early Boomers got married usually before 25. In their late 20s, they bought the house in the suburbs and had their two kids in late 20s/early 30s. Divorce in their late 30s/40s was pretty common for the Boomers. Things changed a little with the second wave of Boomers (birth year until 1964) but not tremendously. Gen X is where the biggest changes in psychographics were (in many broad based economic and social factors). The negative trends that first emerged in Gen X have been compounded in Gen Y (births after 1980 until the early 1990s), and because Gen Y are the kids of the Boomers, it is a much larger cohort than Gen X (primarily the kids of the Silent Generation-born during the late 1920s and heart of the Great Depression when people weren’t having babies because the economy was so rotten and artificial birth control was still decades away).

    There’s a sweet spot in having kids (somewhere around 25-35, but depends on the two people involved). Having kids too early brings a wide range of problems (parents can’t stand on their own two feet economically and aren’t stable emotionally). Too late brings different challenges (female fertility has a drop off after about 35 and birth defects are more common in later births). The most important factor for having kids is a stable relationship of the parents, and parental stability is helped by solid economic footing. Since the economic downturn began in 2008, birth rates per woman have dropped to the lowest levels since the 1970s economic malaise.
  • usedasbrandnew
    usedasbrandnew Posts: 300 Member
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    ^ I agree with this. But lately I have been living out of hotels, and often don't have my own transportation when my dad takes the rental car to work. This last trip to California the only thing within walking distance for lunch was a Carls Jr... so I ate at the Hotel restaurant every day... I know they're used to people eating alone, but I still felt conspicuous.

    My step-mom had a baby at 37 and Audrey is "normal" and another at 39 and baby Annie has Downs, but my mom just had a baby, at 45(?!?) and she is also perfectly average, but did come a month early...
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
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    ^ I agree with this. But lately I have been living out of hotels, and often don't have my own transportation when my dad takes the rental car to work. This last trip to California the only thing within walking distance for lunch was a Carls Jr... so I ate at the Hotel restaurant every day... I know they're used to people eating alone, but I still felt conspicuous.

    My step-mom had a baby at 37 and Audrey is "normal" and another at 39 and baby Annie has Downs, but my mom just had a baby, at 45(?!?) and she is also perfectly average, but did come a month early...

    That must be so weird having a baby sibling!
  • hcoburn37
    hcoburn37 Posts: 442 Member
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    embarrassed no .... awkward at times yes... but so much better than being in an unhappy relationship
  • usedasbrandnew
    usedasbrandnew Posts: 300 Member
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    My step-mom had a baby at 37 and Audrey is "normal" and another at 39 and baby Annie has Downs, but my mom just had a baby, at 45(?!?) and she is also perfectly average, but did come a month early...

    That must be so weird having a baby sibling!
    [/quote]

    It is! I was 22 when she was born, my mom was 22 when she had me! EVERYONE thinks she is mine. Ugh. :) My little brother is 22 now, so mom's got a 21 year gap between her two youngest. :P
  • RoboLikes
    RoboLikes Posts: 519 Member
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    For me, not at all.

    But now at engagement parties, baby showers, and other get togethers, I have been getting the head tilt and the "aww, don't worry, it will happen for you too." Barf.
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
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    Being single is not embarrassing; the way some people handle the fact that I am single is embarrassing. For example, at my grandfather's 80th birthday party, my grandmother took me around and introduced me to all their friends as "my only granddaughter who isn't married." I mean, what do you even to say to that? Then there's co-workers trying to fix me up with their sons or grandsons or friends' sons or guys from their church. All of that is embarrassing, but I am not embarrassed to be single.

    Family functions are never pleasant for people who are not paired off. That's part of why I skip many of them. The other reason is that I don't live close to most of my family. My cousin (three years older than I am) had a big wedding in November, I didn't go.

    I'm usually open to most fix ups. The last time someone tried to fix me up, the other person was so disinterested in me over the phone that nothing happened.
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
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    I hate football (soccer? :laugh: ) on a side note... I'd have to stay home knitting.

    We won the FOOTBALL, 3 - 1 :bigsmile:

    And what the hell are you knitting?? :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
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    What is it with dads questioning the sexuality of their single daughters?? My dad used to tell me all the time in high school, it's ok with me if you're gay, I'll love you just as much. And sit there waiting for me to answer...

    Really the only time I feel self conscious is when I have to eat out alone. I bring a book so I don't feel so... alone? lol

    Hmmm! I've never had my sexuality called into question. WTH?? :grumble: