The famous FL...
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My advice (for what it's worth), you have to let FL go.
Sure things can turn out peachy, but they are more likely to go very bad. Either FL gets hurt or Smiley decides he doesn't need the drama (great cooking/sex notwithstanding) or both.0 -
I swear if a girl was cheating on someone, she wouldn't be acting any different... :laugh:I talked to FL for a bit and figured out he just wanted to talk so I was trying to get off the phone when I heard Smiley get out of bed. I freaked out, told FL I had to go.. and pretty much hung up on him.
Smiley was pissed. I understand and I apologized many times. He actually said to tell my friends to not call me at midnight ESPECIALLY when my boyfriend is over. Then he tells me how I'd probably would have flipped out on him if he got a call from a chick at midnigtht (he's right).
You can pull this trick a few times, but you can't just stab people, make them bleed, apologize and think everything will be alright - on the long run, it leaves scars. And remember this: perception is nearer the truth than reality.
So if Smiley has doubts about you in the long run, it doesn't matter whether they are founded or not. It will still be as real as it can get in for him. Then comes the emotional exhaustion (tired of being so worried about losing you, so he lets you go).
The point is basically, you need to understand what you are doing, and why you are doing it, and be assertive about it:
- Don't freak out when you talk to FL (as a friend he is entitled to some of your time),
- Don't be too apologetic with Smiley (just say: "Look, FL is still my friend, I apologize but I got scared for him and thought something has happened to him which is why I had to take this call. Nothing more, nothing less."),
- Clarify things with FL too (which might or might not have been pretty much done), so that he understands you're good with Smiley but you still value his friendship.
- If FL doesn't want to see you as a friend, then it might be a good idea to stop keeping in touch since you might be the only one who can make this decision (he doesn't want to, is too weak to do it)
This on the other hand, I wouldn't accept:
Smiley: "He actually said to tell my friends to not call me at midnight ESPECIALLY when my boyfriend is over."
Is he your dad or something? Although I can understand that he doesn't want to have you on the phone for 5 hours while he is over to your place, it's normal to talk to your friends and take a call from them if needed.
It's also better for everyone if you wrap this up quickly (after 5 mins) with your friends: "Ok, thanks for your call but I'm kinda busy right now. Can I call you back tomorrow? Will you be alright?".
As others said, FL had his chance, didn't take it. Now he sees you're moving on, you're suddenly a lot more desirable (the classic *kitten* anyway).
Smiley sounds like a nice person, he might be a bit scared/worried about you and FL (understandably) so he is pissed off...
Well by your post I probably overreacted then. Oops. I was embarrassed and felt horrible for answering the phone. But why??? I mean, if it were my girlfriend, I wouldn't have felt guilty. I guess because it's FL and now Smiley knows about FL's feelings?? I don't know but way to make me think. I also was surprised at myself for answering but I know it's because it was so late, I was surprised and thought maybe something was wrong. But I did keep apologizing, reassuring, etc.. which probably looked suspicious, according to what you're saying.
Smiley's first reaction was strong I suppose. I mean, I was in the middle of massaging his back when the phone rang, I got up because the damn ringer was loud and answered, like in the middle of the massage. :noway: Left Smiley for about 3 minutes and listened to FL ramble.
I think FL is starting to get to him. I'm backing off. He calmed down and then was def more rational and like I said, even told me to call my friend so he wouldn't worry.
Smiley has told me he's not a jealous guy UNLESS he's given a reason to. Maybe he's starting to get jealous of FL. Maybe I shouldn't have told bf about FL's confession.
Also, Smiley doesn't know I slept with FL. I don't think it's his business (right?). Why would I tell him about my previous partners? Or should I tell him? I don't know. See, now I'm overthinking. He knows we went on a few dates.. that's all. He asked me once if we kissed (because I had told him I didn't kiss on 1st date ever) FL and I went on 3-4 official dates. He was teasing me in a way and this is before he met him. I told him I didn't think that was really productive in our relationship and that it didn't matter, which he agreed and said he was just being nosey since he was going to meet the guy. (I said it jokingly too)
I don't want to know who he's been with but I suppose if one was right under my nose maybe I'd want to know?
I have no idea.0 -
This is going to sound horrible but he is truly my friend whom I care about.. not in a romantic way... soooo...
I feel bad that I hung up on FL. I mean, I said something about "hey let me call you back, I have to go" and hung up pretty quick. He was talking... Oops.
And Smiley told me to at least text him to let him know all way okay so he wouldn't freak out and start blowing up my phone. To make it clear, Smiley didn't make me get off the phone or anything. I freaked out and that's just what I did.
This is all stupid.
On other news, I impressed Smiley with my mexican cooking skills yesterday! I made him chicken flautas with crema mexicana and queso fresco.. rice and beans. Then I gave him banana split icecream and threw one of my cupcakes in there for extra yumminess. My Smiley can eat! (yet he's in good shape :grumble: )
I made him a huge plate for his lunch today so hopefully he'll think better pleasant thoughts while he's eating my food.
omg. so. hungry. Please come cook for me? PLEASE?!
hehe, I haven't cooked a big meal in a long time. It's usually chicken breast and veggies. :huh:
I even burned my damn hand frying (in olive oil ahem) the flautas. But seeing my man devour the food was priceless. I'm so domesticated! haha0 -
Guys know that other male friends are trying to go from a pure platonic friend zone into an FWB zone at a minimum and sometimes into the relationship zone. And given the history with you and FL, I don’t blame Smiley at all. You and FL need a real clean break.
Smiley kept saying this.. but see, he doesn't know the whole story. He doesn't know that I had feelings for FL. He doesn't know that FL rejected ME.
Still he kept insisting guys aren't just friends. He'd say I didn't understand because I wasn't a guy. I kept saying that I know FL. If he had feelings, he had the chance.0 -
What FL said does not shock me in the least. And here's why. On your other post about how FL was basically saying that Smiley wasn't right for you, I immediately read into that as "OOOOOH FL is JEALOUS and wants YOU for himself, I wouldn't be surprised if there was some sort of declaration of feelings soon." Then there was what you wrote in here.
I think this clearly falls into the wanting something you can no longer have. Not saying that FL doesn't have feelings for you, but before Smiley came along, he never had to confront them. He could have the gf without having the relationship talk. You said he friend-zoned you, but I don't kiss, snuggle, skinny dip or any of that with my guy friends. I go out to the bar with my guy friends. Watch sports. Play sports. But there's NOTHING physical or cuddly about any of it.
I also think that now that FL has moved it will help in moving things forward with Smiley. Just don't hop up and answer the phone when he calls if you happen to be with Smiley at the time. And I would move on from what happened. You both said your piece, now let it lie and move on. Don't dwell on it!0 -
Also, Smiley doesn't know I slept with FL. I don't think it's his business (right?). Why would I tell him about my previous partners? Or should I tell him? I don't know. See, now I'm overthinking. He knows we went on a few dates.. that's all. He asked me once if we kissed (because I had told him I didn't kiss on 1st date ever) FL and I went on 3-4 official dates. He was teasing me in a way and this is before he met him. I told him I didn't think that was really productive in our relationship and that it didn't matter, which he agreed and said he was just being nosey since he was going to meet the guy. (I said it jokingly too)
I wouldn't tell him you slept with FL. Whether you know it or not, you told him you kissed FL though.0 -
What FL said does not shock me in the least. And here's why. On your other post about how FL was basically saying that Smiley wasn't right for you, I immediately read into that as "OOOOOH FL is JEALOUS and wants YOU for himself, I wouldn't be surprised if there was some sort of declaration of feelings soon." Then there was what you wrote in here.
I think this clearly falls into the wanting something you can no longer have. Not saying that FL doesn't have feelings for you, but before Smiley came along, he never had to confront them. He could have the gf without having the relationship talk. You said he friend-zoned you, but I don't kiss, snuggle, skinny dip or any of that with my guy friends. I go out to the bar with my guy friends. Watch sports. Play sports. But there's NOTHING physical or cuddly about any of it.
I also think that now that FL has moved it will help in moving things forward with Smiley. Just don't hop up and answer the phone when he calls if you happen to be with Smiley at the time. And I would move on from what happened. You both said your piece, now let it lie and move on. Don't dwell on it!
Thanks... I'm trying not to dwell on it but it's in my nature to pick apart everything. I've had knots in my tummy today even though Smiley left as usual and sent me my usual Good Morning text. I won't see him for a couple of days since he's in school these next 2 nights. I guess I wonder if he really is okay in his head/ thoughts.0 -
Exactly, which is why I'm saying you need to be more assertive, or if you prefer "in phase with yourself", understand where you are at (How do you want to react next time something similar happen? How would you want FL to act towards you now? How do you want Smiley to react and what should be acceptable in his book according to you?) and accept where you are at.Well by your post I probably overreacted then. Oops. I was embarrassed and felt horrible for answering the phone. But why??? I mean, if it were my girlfriend, I wouldn't have felt guilty. I guess because it's FL and now Smiley knows about FL's feelings?? I don't know but way to make me think.
It's actually OK to think (overthink?) in some cases, and in this case it is: why did you feel guilty about it? (feeling guilty about something = suspicious in the eye of the observer: what are you hiding?) And then ask yourself: what are you hiding?
Obviously I've read your entire post, so I know one of the reasons you are "not in phase with yourself anymore" (Reality of what happened vs Smiley) is:
"Also, Smiley doesn't know I slept with FL"
(more on this later)
And this is fine in my book, should be in Smiley's book too. OTOH, don't let FL use you/destroy your relationship by letting him "absorb" you/getting all your attention. You can't be always here for him, so he needs other people to support him as well, especially now that you are in a relationship: you do not have the same availability.I also was surprised at myself for answering but I know it's because it was so late, I was surprised and thought maybe something was wrong.
If you know where you stand with FL, he should never be a threat to your relationship. If he isn't a threat to your relationship, then consider him so. If he isn't a threat to your relationship, then Smiley shouldn't see him as a threat either (which he does).
Insecure people who see everyone as a threat are called "jealous people" (Smiley doesn't seem to be). Which is good.
Perhaps ask Smiley how he would do things/if he can think of a way to do them better than you given the same factors and problems: maybe there is, maybe there isn't.I think FL is starting to get to him. I'm backing off. He calmed down and then was def more rational and like I said, even told me to call my friend so he wouldn't worry.
Smiley has told me he's not a jealous guy UNLESS he's given a reason to. Maybe he's starting to get jealous of FL. Maybe I shouldn't have told bf about FL's confession.
It's called "shifting responsibilities" and it is a great way to removing some of the pressure from your shoulders, and involving the people who have a DIRECT implication in the problem (the kind of things you do with your manager at work basically: "How do you think I should tackle this problem then Mr Manager?" then he cannot blame you in case of failure).
Basically, expose the situation to Smiley, as a man he should feel proud and valued since you are asking for his opinion.
But be prepared to negotiate "your way" in this conversation as well, in the sense that if Smiley says: "I think you should stop seeing him altogether." you should be ready to fight your corner and say: "But I value his friendship, and as such I'd like to keep seeing him, at least from time to time. Don't you think there is a middle ground?".
Now back to the "big deal":
Personally, I don't think it's necessary to tell about it.Also, Smiley doesn't know I slept with FL. I don't think it's his business (right?). Why would I tell him about my previous partners? Or should I tell him? I don't know. See, now I'm overthinking. He knows we went on a few dates.. that's all. He asked me once if we kissed (because I had told him I didn't kiss on 1st date ever) FL and I went on 3-4 official dates. He was teasing me in a way and this is before he met him. I told him I didn't think that was really productive in our relationship and that it didn't matter, which he agreed and said he was just being nosey since he was going to meet the guy. (I said it jokingly too)
I don't want to know who he's been with but I suppose if one was right under my nose maybe I'd want to know?
Objectively:
FL could still pursue you whether this happened or not, he could still feel like there could be more between the two of you (feelings are unrelated to sex, whether you silly women say the contrary), so it is just a detail and it is irrelevant.
Smiley knows you've dated, he knows you've been with the guy to a point where there was some "attraction" from both sides, he trusts you when you say it died from your side, and he can understand that there is some attraction still from FL side.
It doesn't matter that FL rejected you, since you've accepted/integrated his answer and have moved. It is irrelevant too.
Basically, you're a new person and you've moved on, so FL needs to understand this. If FL is still stuck in the past (and doesn't want to align his point of view with the new reality) then you need to stop seeing him as much (healthier for him, better for you in terms of pressure). I'd talk to him first though, and make it clear that you're with Smiley now.
Problems:
If Smiley was to learn it, how would he take it?
- Did you cheat on him? No clearly, because you didn't know him.
- Would he feel betrayed? Maybe. But logically he shouldn't. I mean he gets the best of you now, and all your attention goes for him now (otherwise he could feel betrayed about any man that held your attention before him).
- Would he feel more threatened? Yeah, maybe (this is all about perception). But then as long as YOU are sure about yourself (i.e. the whole assertive thing earlier: yes Smiley matters more than FL) and that Smiley sees it and understands it, then these threats are empty threats. Otherwise, Smiley would just be a jealous person and you wouldn't be allowed to go out anymore (because there will be many threats of the sort, were you to stay with Smiley for a few years).
Food for thought.0 -
OMG .. for the love of all that is holy .. do not tell Smiley you slept with FL. I beg of you. lol.
FL needs to back up the bus. He is over-stepping. You are letting him. He knows you are in a relationship, he had his chance. Done. I would be FURIOUS if I was Smiley too. You are giving FL way too much time in your relationship. We alllll knew there was more to FL and we haven't even seen you together .. so actually seeing you in person, I'm sure Smiley could see it.
You really need to look at this from Smileys point of view. How he SEES it. Not how you think he should see it.0 -
Another thought that just occurred to me, you've said repeatedly that you would have answered the phone for any of your friends that late. Do most of your other friends have a special ring tone that represents your song together?0
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Your words and actions do not correlate to me. I really think you'll have to pick one or risk losing both.0
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Your words and actions do not correlate to me. I really think you'll have to pick one or risk losing both.
^^ Sorry LA but I agree with this. I know if it was the other way around I would be pissed at my SO if he did this. Good luck! I know you have a tough decision ahead of you but I'm confident you will make the right one for you. :flowerforyou:0 -
Another thought that just occurred to me, you've said repeatedly that you would have answered the phone for any of your friends that late. Do most of your other friends have a special ring tone that represents your song together?
Nope, just him and Smiley have songs.
I am not feeling well today.
I'm thinking about this and everything you have all said. If I'm honest with myself, I care about what FL thinks and naturally because he's my friend.. I think I need to care a bit less or at least have my actions match up with what I'm saying. I know deep inside I am not into FL anymore.. not one bit. I'm 100% into Smiley, there's no doubt.
But because FL and I were so close, I'm scared to hurt his feelings and I keep justifying by saying "well if it were any other friend, I'd feel the same way". But like you have all pointed out sometime or another that FL isn't just another friend. We slept together PLUS had this weird grey shaded friendship that had me crazy for months. I need to focus on my relationship with my awesome boyfriend and take FL's move as a sign that this is just the way it's supposed to happen.
FL is my friend but hey, if he were to have started dating a gal, I would have backed off. Yeah, I would have been hurt because suddenly I no longer have access to him whenever I want but I would have understood.
I know I'd feel horrible if the tables were turned. Smiley has kept saying he's fine with it all but by his angry reaction last night and the little things he'll say about FL, I don't think he is. That makes me feel bad.
I've been single for a while and found this new awesome freedom. I vowed nobody would ever take away my wild spirit again or drag me "down". I think I'm taking that a bit too far by trying to keep certain perks. I'm not saying I can't have guy friends but I need to take in account what my BOYFRIEND thinks too. There's a thin line I guess with this which Smiley hasn't even came close to crossing but I need to think a little harder about what I'm doing and sowing into my relationship.
It's been hard to go from the mindset of wife, single woman and now girlfriend.0 -
Another thought that just occurred to me, you've said repeatedly that you would have answered the phone for any of your friends that late. Do most of your other friends have a special ring tone that represents your song together?
Nope, just him and Smiley have songs.
I am not feeling well today.
I'm thinking about this and everything you have all said. If I'm honest with myself, I care about what FL thinks and naturally because he's my friend.. I think I need to care a bit less or at least have my actions match up with what I'm saying. I know deep inside I am not into FL anymore.. not one bit. I'm 100% into Smiley, there's no doubt.
But because FL and I were so close, I'm scared to hurt his feelings and I keep justifying by saying "well if it were any other friend, I'd feel the same way". But like you have all pointed out sometime or another that FL isn't just another friend. We slept together PLUS had this weird grey shaded friendship that had me crazy for months. I need to focus on my relationship with my awesome boyfriend and take FL's move as a sign that this is just the way it's supposed to happen.
FL is my friend but hey, if he were to have started dating a gal, I would have backed off. Yeah, I would have been hurt because suddenly I no longer have access to him whenever I want but I would have understood.
I know I'd feel horrible if the tables were turned. Smiley has kept saying he's fine with it all but by his angry reaction last night and the little things he'll say about FL, I don't think he is. That makes me feel bad.
I've been single for a while and found this new awesome freedom. I vowed nobody would ever take away my wild spirit again or drag me "down". I think I'm taking that a bit too far by trying to keep certain perks. I'm not saying I can't have guy friends but I need to take in account what my BOYFRIEND thinks too. There's a thin line I guess with this which Smiley hasn't even came close to crossing but I need to think a little harder about what I'm doing and sowing into my relationship.
It's been hard to go from the mindset of wife, single woman and now girlfriend.
See, I see it entirely differently. I think FL just brought this up because he knew it would make you think about him after he was gone. I think he is a jerk. I think you need to let him live his life in MN and you need to focus on moving forward with Smiley. Otherwise, he will keep playing on your 'friendship' like this just to piss Smiley off and to cause friction in your relationship.0 -
Another thought that just occurred to me, you've said repeatedly that you would have answered the phone for any of your friends that late. Do most of your other friends have a special ring tone that represents your song together?
Nope, just him and Smiley have songs.
I am not feeling well today.
I'm thinking about this and everything you have all said. If I'm honest with myself, I care about what FL thinks and naturally because he's my friend.. I think I need to care a bit less or at least have my actions match up with what I'm saying. I know deep inside I am not into FL anymore.. not one bit. I'm 100% into Smiley, there's no doubt.
But because FL and I were so close, I'm scared to hurt his feelings and I keep justifying by saying "well if it were any other friend, I'd feel the same way". But like you have all pointed out sometime or another that FL isn't just another friend. We slept together PLUS had this weird grey shaded friendship that had me crazy for months. I need to focus on my relationship with my awesome boyfriend and take FL's move as a sign that this is just the way it's supposed to happen.
FL is my friend but hey, if he were to have started dating a gal, I would have backed off. Yeah, I would have been hurt because suddenly I no longer have access to him whenever I want but I would have understood.
I know I'd feel horrible if the tables were turned. Smiley has kept saying he's fine with it all but by his angry reaction last night and the little things he'll say about FL, I don't think he is. That makes me feel bad.
I've been single for a while and found this new awesome freedom. I vowed nobody would ever take away my wild spirit again or drag me "down". I think I'm taking that a bit too far by trying to keep certain perks. I'm not saying I can't have guy friends but I need to take in account what my BOYFRIEND thinks too. There's a thin line I guess with this which Smiley hasn't even came close to crossing but I need to think a little harder about what I'm doing and sowing into my relationship.
It's been hard to go from the mindset of wife, single woman and now girlfriend.
See, I see it entirely differently. I think FL just brought this up because he knew it would make you think about him after he was gone. I think he is a jerk. I think you need to let him live his life in MN and you need to focus on moving forward with Smiley. Otherwise, he will keep playing on your 'friendship' like this just to piss Smiley off and to cause friction in your relationship.
I have no idea what FL's true intentions are. I've always thought of him as a great awesome guy who just wasn't into me in that way. Regardless, I need to show my boyfriend that he's my priority, not this guy friend who keeps popping up.
I don't know why he called so late last night. He said something about me being a night owl (which I am) but he knows I go to work the next day. He didn't know Smiley was there and maybe me not saying that he was hurt Smiley's feelings?
I figured maybe FL is just trying to iron out any potential awkwardness between us since the conversation hence the calls and texts suddenly. We hung out on Sunday night (he left Monday a.m) and things seemed a bit tense but normal. Tense because I didn't want him to think I couldn't be around him after his confession. And he seemed nervous around me at first but by the end of the night we were normal.0 -
My opinion is let FL go. You can send him a Christmas card once a year. Text him Happy Birthday. He's gone. Out of state. If you needed help catching a mouse you couldn't call him so why would you need to keep constant contact? He's a friend that moved away. That's all.0
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See, I see it entirely differently. I think FL just brought this up because he knew it would make you think about him after he was gone. I think he is a jerk. I think you need to let him live his life in MN and you need to focus on moving forward with Smiley. Otherwise, he will keep playing on your 'friendship' like this just to piss Smiley off and to cause friction in your relationship.
^This.0 -
Haha i pushed POST REPLY TO DAMN SOON! lol
Sorry.
Anywho, back to my story.
He explained more stuff that's too long to type for me.
I didn't say anything on here because I didn't want anybody to confuse me. He hit me with a huge bomb. Of course at the end he says "But you said you're happy with Smiley so it all worked out for the best, I guess" or something like that.
Since I wasn't sure how to take it, I didn't say a peep about what I had felt. I am not sure if I did the right thing there. I am completely smitten with Smiley. FL is now nothing but a friend to me. I don't even find myself attracted to him anymore. Strange.
Well I told Smiley about the conversation because I figured I was going to be around FL again (and I was..) AND because FL and I agreed to not let anything change. He said he was coming back.. we'd keep in touch, etc.
So last night Smiley stayed over. FL arrived in MN yesterday. At 11:50pm FL calls me and I know the ring tone ("We are Young by Fun is mine and FL's song). I got up and answered. I have NO idea why. I usually ignore his call if it's late and I'm with Smiley. I think I figured it could be an emergency (but then again what the hell could I have done from Texas if it was?) I talked to FL for a bit and figured out he just wanted to talk so I was trying to get off the phone when I heard Smiley get out of bed. I freaked out, told FL I had to go.. and pretty much hung up on him.
Smiley was pissed. I understand and I apologized many times. He actually said to tell my friends to not call me at midnight ESPECIALLY when my boyfriend is over. Then he tells me how I'd probably would have flipped out on him if he got a call from a chick at midnigtht (he's right).
I realized how bad I looked and I was very upset. I kept telling him I just thought something was wrong and that FL is just a friend to me, and how he's my #1.
I screwed up. Big time.
In the end, Smiley was okay. He told me we are okay. He even told me to text or call FL and let him know all was okay because I had abruptly hung up. He did say something along the lines of how his gf jumped up out of bed to answer some other dudes call and it wasn't a nice thing to see.
I didn't mean it that way. You all know how crazy I am about Smiley. FL, even with his confession, is just a friend now. Everything has changed. He had his chance, many many times.
Maybe it's just him having a temper tantrum that he's not the center of my attention anymore. Or maybe he's for real... FL isn't a man of many deep words. All is fun and games with him so just him talking to me about it was shocking enough.
I just hope Smiley and me are really okay. I feel awful and like the worst girlfriend ever. I told ya'll I'm not good at this.
Are you supposed to send a group text to everyone in your phone on nights he stays over? If it was something that was a repeated thing I could see him being upset and saying something about it. But once? Come on.
Friends are forever, bf/gf aren't.
I wouldn't say you screwed up, just my $.020 -
Also, you're not the worst gf ever, that title is in PA.0
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Also, you're not the worst gf ever, that title is in PA.
:brokenheart:0 -
Soooo predictable. FL is a committment phobe. He can only say how he feels when the chance of you taking him up on it is unlikely. If you were single he'd have strung you along forever without making a committment. Doesn't make him a bad person, does make him a weak/selfish one as he has to be in control and so his needs have to come first, always, unless he can give without cost to himself.
Don't beat yourself up about taking his call Diana. Smiley knows he has had a hold on you in the past, he doesn't like it. But FL is moving away now, you made the right choice, you are happy with it. You show him in many ways how happy you are, this was an understandable moment of insecurity on hs part and you've reassured him. Job done. :happy:0 -
still want confirmation of what FL means. Short for fail?0
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still want confirmation of what FL means. Short for fail?
Friend-Lover guy0 -
It's been hard to go from the mindset of wife, single woman and now girlfriend.
This is a very good point and it is overlooked. You were in a relationship for 10 years. When you are off the singles market for that long, you forget what it is like to be a single person. The other person is deeply woven into your reality. To not have that is a jolt to the system.
Being in a new, exclusive relationship is an adjustment from singledom/casually dating, but still much closer to the feeling of singledom than a multiyear relationship.This on the other hand, I wouldn't accept:
Smiley: "He actually said to tell my friends to not call me at midnight ESPECIALLY when my boyfriend is over."
Is he your dad or something? Although I can understand that he doesn't want to have you on the phone for 5 hours while he is over to your place, it's normal to talk to your friends and take a call from them if needed.
It's also better for everyone if you wrap this up quickly (after 5 mins) with your friends: "Ok, thanks for your call but I'm kinda busy right now. Can I call you back tomorrow? Will you be alright?".
Smiley sounds like a nice person, he might be a bit scared/worried about you and FL (understandably) so he is pissed off...
After the few first dates, when playing around with the phone in front of the other person is a huge no-no (but often violated), it is okay to take calls. But most guys would like to calls to their girlfriend to be from female friends.0 -
By the way, I did text FL last night telling him I'd call him later or tomorrow depending. He responded with a simple "cool".
Then today I called him and it went to VM so I am thinking (or over thinking) that he's mad. I'm not calling again.0 -
Sorry to say it, Diana, but he may not want to stay in touch as much now that he feels he's lost you. Let him go. If a friendship is possible, you'll re-connect in future.0
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still want confirmation of what FL means. Short for fail?
Friend-Lover guy
what the heck is that? haha0 -
A guy that was a friend, then became a bit more, then didn't make a move so ended up back in the friendzone but the feelings were still there between the 2. Never made a move so she moved on but was like a friend-lover
Hope that clears it up!
You aren't a bad girlfriend, just keep going you're only being yourself as well. You don't want to be someone else
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I was reading until I got to flautas... mm...flautas....I like all kinds. 0
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By the way, I did text FL last night telling him I'd call him later or tomorrow depending. He responded with a simple "cool".
Then today I called him and it went to VM so I am thinking (or over thinking) that he's mad. I'm not calling again.
What if he was taking a **** and left his phone in the kitchen? You're seriously over thinking this part.0
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