Bar Guy
acasey0123
Posts: 640 Member
So I still have mall guy and two nights ago went to bar with roomies...I started talking with the guy next to me and gave him my number. I then got home and invited him over. One of my roomies basically interogated him to see if he was bad news (he passed her test). Then he came over last night. I like his personality and that he is very outgoing and we have more to talk to and with mall guy hes not very outgoing but i dont like that he is a smoker though that can change but still. I also like how bar guy WANTS to cuddle with me and spend time with me. but i have more feelings for mall guy. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I dont know what to do
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i dont like that he is a smoker though that can change
So you met the guy two nights ago and you're already hoping a major aspect of his behavior will change? I know people who have tried to quit smoking for over 25 years without success. I'd seriously consider how much his smoking means to you because I wouldn't count on it changing any time soon.0 -
woooooooooo hoooooooooooooo!! Go girl!!! I wish I had given my number to a guy in a bar last week. I was so stupid and slow. I just clammed up and got all pathetic....:laugh:
So good for you!!! I'm proud of you. I actually love it when a woman takes the initiative. And by all accounts, men like it too!! :flowerforyou:0 -
I sent you some thoughts via PM. Pls let me know which thoughts (if any) are ok to post here. Thx.0
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Just a question,why did you invite a guy you just met to your place if you have feelings for someone else?
I know this is blunt but can`t you see where this is going to cause the angst you are dealing with?0 -
Just a question,why did you invite a guy you just met to your place if you have feelings for someone else?
I know this is blunt but can`t you see where this is going to cause the angst you are dealing with?
we're not official
@Janie- its your opinions you can post whateva0 -
@Janie- its your opinions you can post whateva
In case anyone else is curious what I wrote her... here it is...
1. You invited him over the night you met him. Of course he's gonna say all the right things to you and your roomie. He's expecting to get some. Nothing improves male behavior like the anticipation of sex that night.
2. He smokes. Never expect a man to change for you. He won't. He might temporarily change to woo/seduce/court you. But don't count on it being a permanent change.
3. You can't judge him wanting to spend time with you or having plenty to talk about after one night. Especially when a good part of that night includes cuddling. See #1 above.
Please don't do this to yourself... you are beautiful and intelligent and you deserve better!
Edit: I went back and now see she didn't invite him that night but the next day. Same difference. Guy gets invited over w/o even having to take her on a proper date... what will he usually think?0 -
@Janie- its your opinions you can post whateva
Edit: I went back and now see she didn't invite him that night but the next day. Same difference. Guy gets invited over w/o even having to take her on a proper date... what will he usually think?
ummm he came over the first night...i invited him over once i got back to the apartment and then last night as well. But my roomies like him better than mall guy they think bar guy is a better suit personality wise since im also very shy as well and they think that mall guy is an idiot0 -
Just a question,why did you invite a guy you just met to your place if you have feelings for someone else?
I know this is blunt but can`t you see where this is going to cause the angst you are dealing with?
we're not official
@Janie- its your opinions you can post whateva
What Janie said,expect a guys desires whether it be sex (which I am a little tired of that being treated as inferior to a ladys desire for emotional fulfillment) or thinking he maybe found a lady that really liked him to be shifted into road gear at that point.
To not is simply being naive or unrealistic.0 -
@Janie- its your opinions you can post whateva
Edit: I went back and now see she didn't invite him that night but the next day. Same difference. Guy gets invited over w/o even having to take her on a proper date... what will he usually think?
ummm he came over the first night...i invited him over once i got back to the apartment and then last night as well. But my roomies like him better than mall guy they think bar guy is a better suit personality wise since im also very shy as well and they think that mall guy is an idiot
Then you ladies wonder why us guys shake our heads.
I am not trying to pick on you or be mean but take a step back and read what you have written here please...with a clear mind as if it was as an observer.
You invited him over twice having just met him,but are saying you have feelings for someone else.
That is caught somewhere between discourteous and unintelligent,again what do you think is going to happen?
Why do your friends dislike the one guy,are they right but because he is exciting you don`t care?
Oy0 -
expect a guys desires whether it be sex ...or thinking he maybe found a lady that really liked him to be shifted into road gear at that point.
I'm confused... are there typos?a guys desires whether it be sex (which I am a little tired of that being treated as inferior to a ladys desire for emotional fulfillment)
I may be guilty of doing so in the past, but in this response I'm not dogging out a guys desire for sex. I'm simply pointing out that most guys expect sex when a woman invites him over that soon. And I don't think it's unfair to say that when a man expects sex, he is more charming and attentive any more than it would be unfair to say that when a man flatters a woman and lets her talk she is also more willing to attend to his needs.0 -
expect a guys desires whether it be sex ...or thinking he maybe found a lady that really liked him to be shifted into road gear at that point.
I'm confused... are there typos?a guys desires whether it be sex (which I am a little tired of that being treated as inferior to a ladys desire for emotional fulfillment)
I may be guilty of doing so in the past, but in this response I'm not dogging out a guys desire for sex. I'm simply pointing out that most guys expect sex when a woman invites him over that soon. And I don't think it's unfair to say that when a man expects sex, he is more charming and attentive any more than it would be unfair to say that when a man flatters a woman and lets her talk she is also more willing to attend to his needs.
Probably missed a comma in the proper place but no typos,was saying that his desire for sex or a feeling of happiness that a lady seemed interested would be heightened.0 -
Jeez guys, lighten up, the girl just met a new guy :bigsmile: Isnt this supposed to be a GOOD thing?? :laugh:
Sorry, but, having read the ongoing story of the mall guy, I said weeks ago that they were'nt suited. I'm therefore not surprised OP is looking and meeting other people. I think I even suggested it?
Give the girl a break. She's shy and hasnt got many friends, which is why she was staying with mall guy :flowerforyou:0 -
Jeez guys, lighten up, the girl just met a new guy :bigsmile: Isnt this supposed to be a GOOD thing?? :laugh:
Sorry, but, having read the ongoing story of the mall guy, I said weeks ago that they were'nt suited. I'm therefore not surprised OP is looking and meeting other people. I think I even suggested it?
Give the girl a break. She's shy and hasnt got many friends, which is why she was staying with mall guy :flowerforyou:
I am sorry that I have come across as terse but a question was asked so answered.
To me it is really not a mystery.
You like Mall guy but seems no one else does,you either listen to their advice or ignore it accepting the consequences of either.
If you choose to ignore it and want to pursue more with him you do not invite Bar guy to your place the night of meeting him and then again the next one.
If you accept advice regarding Mall guy then Bar guy (God I hate these euphemisms) is a new adventure and should be regarded as that.
If you ignore the advice about Mall guy and then invite Bar guy to your home you are going to end up in a conflict of which you are the maker so don`t lament it happened.
Hopefully being honest about things even when they don`t sound good can be respected,it is not intended to hurt.0 -
I'm sure this has been said already in the post.. as a guy.. if a girl invites me over the same night i met her, I will assume that she wants to hook up with me.. if the night was successful, and she invites me over the next night...same deal.. but hey, there's a small percentage that he could really be digging you and could possible want a relationship with you.. but I would keep that in mind when inviting some one over the first night you meet them. My opinion. Nothing wrong with this sort of scenario.. you're single and should have fun.0
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i dont like that he is a _________ though that can change but still.
Mistake #10 -
If you bring me home after meeting you in a bar that night...we are ****ing. That is it, no relationship, no dating. We have sex I leave before the sun comes up and probably don't even remember your name. Might not be all guys but it is all honest guys!0
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Yeeeeah I'm pretty much with the crowd on this one. I think you might seem a bit too eager to please whatever man pays you attention. Maybe you should be honest with both of them and date both, or no one. I dunno, not trying to be mean, but I think Carl and Janie are right and you sound very naive.0
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i dont like that he is a _________ though that can change but still.
Mistake #1
I agree.Yeeeeah I'm pretty much with the crowd on this one. I think you might seem a bit too eager to please whatever man pays you attention. Maybe you should be honest with both of them and date both, or no one. I dunno, not trying to be mean, but I think Carl and Janie are right and you sound very naive.
and this too.0 -
I am sorry that I have come across as terse but a question was asked so answered.
Sorry Carl, I read the question to be about mall guy v bar guy!? NOT the morality of inviting the bar guy over. That's all. It just seemed that everyone jumped on the negative, but hey, I'm from England and I've had many a guy over to my place without having sex with them. I cook a mean lamb hotpot!! So, I wouldnt have issue with something like that. :flowerforyou:0 -
If you bring me home after meeting you in a bar that night...we are ****ing. That is it, no relationship, no dating. We have sex I leave before the sun comes up and probably don't even remember your name. Might not be all guys but it is all honest guys!
Wow!! What if she didn't invite you back for sex?? Isnt that a bit presumptious on your part?? :huh:
And the OP didn't say she had sex with the guy!!! :noway:
It's kinda scary, the way you've put it Will :noway:0 -
I am sorry that I have come across as terse but a question was asked so answered.
Sorry Carl, I read the question to be about mall guy v bar guy!? NOT the morality of inviting the bar guy over. That's all. It just seemed that everyone jumped on the negative, but hey, I'm from England and I've had many a guy over to my place without having sex with them. I cook a mean lamb hotpot!! So, I wouldnt have issue with something like that. :flowerforyou:
What is a lamb hotpot? I have 3am hunger and that sounds amazing.0 -
What is a lamb hotpot? I have 3am hunger and that sounds amazing.
Mmmmmmmmmmm :bigsmile: it's slow cooked neck of lamb fillet in like a gravy with onions and potato slices on top. A casserole? Do you have casseroles out there? It's so tender when it's done it just melts in your mouth :flowerforyou:0 -
If you bring me home after meeting you in a bar that night...we are ****ing. That is it, no relationship, no dating. We have sex I leave before the sun comes up and probably don't even remember your name. Might not be all guys but it is all honest guys!
Wow!! What if she didn't invite you back for sex?? Isnt that a bit presumptious on your part?? :huh:
And the OP didn't say she had sex with the guy!!! :noway:
It's kinda scary, the way you've put it Will :noway:
You have to admit it isn't a stretch to believe that he probably expects to have sex. Especially when it gets physical straight away.0 -
What is a lamb hotpot? I have 3am hunger and that sounds amazing.
Mmmmmmmmmmm :bigsmile: it's slow cooked neck of lamb fillet in like a gravy with onions and potato slices on top. A casserole? Do you have casseroles out there? It's so tender when it's done it just melts in your mouth :flowerforyou:
damn all I brought to work with me tonight is a sammich......and no bacon either.....I'm sad now :sad:0 -
I am sorry that I have come across as terse but a question was asked so answered.
Sorry Carl, I read the question to be about mall guy v bar guy!? NOT the morality of inviting the bar guy over. That's all. It just seemed that everyone jumped on the negative, but hey, I'm from England and I've had many a guy over to my place without having sex with them. I cook a mean lamb hotpot!! So, I wouldnt have issue with something like that. :flowerforyou:
Psssst....at least here in the States you don`t meet a guy in a bar and invite him to your place that night to cook him dinner.
:laugh: 0 -
I don't do one night stands, I've gone home with girls and not slept with them. It just depends, if there is a girl and I like her and would like to see where things could go, I would def not sleep with her straight away at the risk of complicating things. Mainly cause all the mystery is lost and my short attention span haha.0
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If you bring me home after meeting you in a bar that night...we are ****ing. That is it, no relationship, no dating. We have sex I leave before the sun comes up and probably don't even remember your name. Might not be all guys but it is all honest guys!
Wow!! What if she didn't invite you back for sex?? Isnt that a bit presumptious on your part?? :huh:
And the OP didn't say she had sex with the guy!!! :noway:
It's kinda scary, the way you've put it Will :noway:
You have to admit it isn't a stretch to believe that he probably expects to have sex. Especially when it gets physical straight away.
I dont know what men expect!! Or how they think!! If I knew that, I'd write a book called "women understand men" and make millions :laugh: All I'm saying is that I've invited many guys back to my place and they didnt GET sex. I've had this conversation with Florian and he feels the same as you guys. However, I can can only go by my experience and I have always felt in control of that eventuality. Not all people are created equal. Like Nat, I dont do one night stands either :flowerforyou:0 -
What is a lamb hotpot? I have 3am hunger and that sounds amazing.
Mmmmmmmmmmm :bigsmile: it's slow cooked neck of lamb fillet in like a gravy with onions and potato slices on top. A casserole? Do you have casseroles out there? It's so tender when it's done it just melts in your mouth :flowerforyou:
damn all I brought to work with me tonight is a sammich......and no bacon either.....I'm sad now :sad:
Awwww sorry Lacroyx
Would you like to come back to my place and I'll cook you some?? :laugh: 0 -
What is a lamb hotpot? I have 3am hunger and that sounds amazing.
Mmmmmmmmmmm :bigsmile: it's slow cooked neck of lamb fillet in like a gravy with onions and potato slices on top. A casserole? Do you have casseroles out there? It's so tender when it's done it just melts in your mouth :flowerforyou:
damn all I brought to work with me tonight is a sammich......and no bacon either.....I'm sad now :sad:
Awwww sorry Lacroyx Would you like to come back to my place and I'll cook you some?? :laugh:
That would be great!
but hmm can't afford a plane ticket. :frown: I guess I can swim. that's free and I'll have lots of calories to spare for the lamb! *wanders off to Google for swimming trunks* 0 -
What is a lamb hotpot? I have 3am hunger and that sounds amazing.
Mmmmmmmmmmm :bigsmile: it's slow cooked neck of lamb fillet in like a gravy with onions and potato slices on top. A casserole? Do you have casseroles out there? It's so tender when it's done it just melts in your mouth :flowerforyou:
damn all I brought to work with me tonight is a sammich......and no bacon either.....I'm sad now :sad:
Awwww sorry Lacroyx Would you like to come back to my place and I'll cook you some?? :laugh:
That would be great! but hmm can't afford a plane ticket. :frown: I guess I can swim. that's free and I'll have lots of calories to spare for the lamb! *wanders off to Google for swimming trunks*
:laugh: :laugh: win/win! :bigsmile:0
