Bar Guy
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I am sorry that I have come across as terse but a question was asked so answered.
Sorry Carl, I read the question to be about mall guy v bar guy!? NOT the morality of inviting the bar guy over. That's all. It just seemed that everyone jumped on the negative, but hey, I'm from England and I've had many a guy over to my place without having sex with them. I cook a mean lamb hotpot!! So, I wouldnt have issue with something like that. :flowerforyou:
What is a lamb hotpot? I have 3am hunger and that sounds amazing.0 -
What is a lamb hotpot? I have 3am hunger and that sounds amazing.
Mmmmmmmmmmm :bigsmile: it's slow cooked neck of lamb fillet in like a gravy with onions and potato slices on top. A casserole? Do you have casseroles out there? It's so tender when it's done it just melts in your mouth :flowerforyou:0 -
If you bring me home after meeting you in a bar that night...we are ****ing. That is it, no relationship, no dating. We have sex I leave before the sun comes up and probably don't even remember your name. Might not be all guys but it is all honest guys!
Wow!! What if she didn't invite you back for sex?? Isnt that a bit presumptious on your part?? :huh:
And the OP didn't say she had sex with the guy!!! :noway:
It's kinda scary, the way you've put it Will :noway:
You have to admit it isn't a stretch to believe that he probably expects to have sex. Especially when it gets physical straight away.0 -
What is a lamb hotpot? I have 3am hunger and that sounds amazing.
Mmmmmmmmmmm :bigsmile: it's slow cooked neck of lamb fillet in like a gravy with onions and potato slices on top. A casserole? Do you have casseroles out there? It's so tender when it's done it just melts in your mouth :flowerforyou:
damn all I brought to work with me tonight is a sammich......and no bacon either.....I'm sad now :sad:0 -
I am sorry that I have come across as terse but a question was asked so answered.
Sorry Carl, I read the question to be about mall guy v bar guy!? NOT the morality of inviting the bar guy over. That's all. It just seemed that everyone jumped on the negative, but hey, I'm from England and I've had many a guy over to my place without having sex with them. I cook a mean lamb hotpot!! So, I wouldnt have issue with something like that. :flowerforyou:
Psssst....at least here in the States you don`t meet a guy in a bar and invite him to your place that night to cook him dinner.
:laugh: 0 -
I don't do one night stands, I've gone home with girls and not slept with them. It just depends, if there is a girl and I like her and would like to see where things could go, I would def not sleep with her straight away at the risk of complicating things. Mainly cause all the mystery is lost and my short attention span haha.0
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If you bring me home after meeting you in a bar that night...we are ****ing. That is it, no relationship, no dating. We have sex I leave before the sun comes up and probably don't even remember your name. Might not be all guys but it is all honest guys!
Wow!! What if she didn't invite you back for sex?? Isnt that a bit presumptious on your part?? :huh:
And the OP didn't say she had sex with the guy!!! :noway:
It's kinda scary, the way you've put it Will :noway:
You have to admit it isn't a stretch to believe that he probably expects to have sex. Especially when it gets physical straight away.
I dont know what men expect!! Or how they think!! If I knew that, I'd write a book called "women understand men" and make millions :laugh: All I'm saying is that I've invited many guys back to my place and they didnt GET sex. I've had this conversation with Florian and he feels the same as you guys. However, I can can only go by my experience and I have always felt in control of that eventuality. Not all people are created equal. Like Nat, I dont do one night stands either :flowerforyou:0 -
What is a lamb hotpot? I have 3am hunger and that sounds amazing.
Mmmmmmmmmmm :bigsmile: it's slow cooked neck of lamb fillet in like a gravy with onions and potato slices on top. A casserole? Do you have casseroles out there? It's so tender when it's done it just melts in your mouth :flowerforyou:
damn all I brought to work with me tonight is a sammich......and no bacon either.....I'm sad now :sad:
Awwww sorry Lacroyx
Would you like to come back to my place and I'll cook you some?? :laugh: 0 -
What is a lamb hotpot? I have 3am hunger and that sounds amazing.
Mmmmmmmmmmm :bigsmile: it's slow cooked neck of lamb fillet in like a gravy with onions and potato slices on top. A casserole? Do you have casseroles out there? It's so tender when it's done it just melts in your mouth :flowerforyou:
damn all I brought to work with me tonight is a sammich......and no bacon either.....I'm sad now :sad:
Awwww sorry Lacroyx Would you like to come back to my place and I'll cook you some?? :laugh:
That would be great!
but hmm can't afford a plane ticket. :frown: I guess I can swim. that's free and I'll have lots of calories to spare for the lamb! *wanders off to Google for swimming trunks* 0 -
What is a lamb hotpot? I have 3am hunger and that sounds amazing.
Mmmmmmmmmmm :bigsmile: it's slow cooked neck of lamb fillet in like a gravy with onions and potato slices on top. A casserole? Do you have casseroles out there? It's so tender when it's done it just melts in your mouth :flowerforyou:
damn all I brought to work with me tonight is a sammich......and no bacon either.....I'm sad now :sad:
Awwww sorry Lacroyx Would you like to come back to my place and I'll cook you some?? :laugh:
That would be great! but hmm can't afford a plane ticket. :frown: I guess I can swim. that's free and I'll have lots of calories to spare for the lamb! *wanders off to Google for swimming trunks*
:laugh: :laugh: win/win! :bigsmile:0 -
If you bring me home after meeting you in a bar that night...we are ****ing. That is it, no relationship, no dating. We have sex I leave before the sun comes up and probably don't even remember your name. Might not be all guys but it is all honest guys!
Wow!! What if she didn't invite you back for sex?? Isnt that a bit presumptious on your part?? :huh:
And the OP didn't say she had sex with the guy!!! :noway:
It's kinda scary, the way you've put it Will :noway:
You have to admit it isn't a stretch to believe that he probably expects to have sex. Especially when it gets physical straight away.
I dont know what men expect!! Or how they think!! If I knew that, I'd write a book called "women understand men" and make millions :laugh: All I'm saying is that I've invited many guys back to my place and they didnt GET sex. I've had this conversation with Florian and he feels the same as you guys. However, I can can only go by my experience and I have always felt in control of that eventuality. Not all people are created equal. Like Nat, I dont do one night stands either :flowerforyou:
You're "book" would be a one pager. :drinker:
Yes, I would expect men to be on their best behavior and play on your cues, but then I'm guessing you didn't send him signals that you had sex in mind. But I assure you, he did. He was just waiting for an opening.0 -
If you bring me home after meeting you in a bar that night...we are ****ing. That is it, no relationship, no dating. We have sex I leave before the sun comes up and probably don't even remember your name. Might not be all guys but it is all honest guys!
Wow!! What if she didn't invite you back for sex?? Isnt that a bit presumptious on your part?? :huh:
And the OP didn't say she had sex with the guy!!! :noway:
It's kinda scary, the way you've put it Will :noway:
It may be presumptuous on my part but in my lifetime at bars I have never once had a girl meet me in the bar have drinks, bring me back to her house and NOT have sex.
Not trying to be harsh or piss anyone off but the poster is 23 and been in the bars for 2 years....I've got more experience in that field and cutting through all the bs told her my opinion.0 -
If you bring me home after meeting you in a bar that night...we are ****ing. That is it, no relationship, no dating. We have sex I leave before the sun comes up and probably don't even remember your name. Might not be all guys but it is all honest guys!
Wow!! What if she didn't invite you back for sex?? Isnt that a bit presumptious on your part?? :huh:
And the OP didn't say she had sex with the guy!!! :noway:
It's kinda scary, the way you've put it Will :noway:
It may be presumptuous on my part but in my lifetime at bars I have never once had a girl meet me in the bar have drinks, bring me back to her house and NOT have sex.
Not trying to be harsh or piss anyone off but the poster is 23 and been in the bars for 2 years....I've got more experience in that field and cutting through all the bs told her my opinion.
I'm with Will. Women always talk about guys not respecting them or losing respect for them after having sex. I don't do one night stands and wouldn't invite her back if I wasn't interested in more than sex. However, if a girl brought me back to her place or came back to my place after meeting in a bar and we didn't have sex, I'd consider her a tease and lose all respect for her.0 -
If you bring me home after meeting you in a bar that night...we are ****ing. That is it, no relationship, no dating. We have sex I leave before the sun comes up and probably don't even remember your name. Might not be all guys but it is all honest guys!
Wow!! What if she didn't invite you back for sex?? Isnt that a bit presumptious on your part?? :huh:
And the OP didn't say she had sex with the guy!!! :noway:
It's kinda scary, the way you've put it Will :noway:
You have to admit it isn't a stretch to believe that he probably expects to have sex. Especially when it gets physical straight away.
I dont know what men expect!! Or how they think!! If I knew that, I'd write a book called "women understand men" and make millions :laugh: All I'm saying is that I've invited many guys back to my place and they didnt GET sex. I've had this conversation with Florian and he feels the same as you guys. However, I can can only go by my experience and I have always felt in control of that eventuality. Not all people are created equal. Like Nat, I dont do one night stands either :flowerforyou:
You're "book" would be a one pager. :drinker:
Yes, I would expect men to be on their best behavior and play on your cues, but then I'm guessing you didn't send him signals that you had sex in mind. But I assure you, he did. He was just waiting for an opening.
I understand that. But, that's like saying that when you play the lottery you expect/want to win it, but there's a one in a gazillion chance that you will!! (which is about the same odds as a guy has of having sex with me the first night I meet him :laugh: ) 0 -
If you bring me home after meeting you in a bar that night...we are ****ing. That is it, no relationship, no dating. We have sex I leave before the sun comes up and probably don't even remember your name. Might not be all guys but it is all honest guys!
Wow!! What if she didn't invite you back for sex?? Isnt that a bit presumptious on your part?? :huh:
And the OP didn't say she had sex with the guy!!! :noway:
It's kinda scary, the way you've put it Will :noway:
It may be presumptuous on my part but in my lifetime at bars I have never once had a girl meet me in the bar have drinks, bring me back to her house and NOT have sex.
Not trying to be harsh or piss anyone off but the poster is 23 and been in the bars for 2 years....I've got more experience in that field and cutting through all the bs told her my opinion.
I'm with Will. Women always talk about guys not respecting them or losing respect for them after having sex. I don't do one night stands and wouldn't invite her back if I wasn't interested in more than sex. However, if a girl brought me back to her place or came back to my place after meeting in a bar and we didn't have sex, I'd consider her a tease and lose all respect for her.
Wow!!
Look, if its the case in America that if you invite a guy back to your house then it means you want sex, then fair enough. It's not like that here, we do a lot of entertaining at our apartments/houses and in bars/pubs. In fact, your house is just an extension of the pub cos pubs used to close so damn early!! 11pm on a weekend, so instead of paying to go to a club, we would go back to someones house. (The opening times changed in the last few years) Anyway, lets just call it a cultural difference.
As long as everyone knows that that is the meaning in America, then everyone knows where they stand.
However, the OP has operated differently here, so, someone/somewhere hasn't told her the rules? She has grown up in a different State? Different country? Part of town? I dunno!!
What's your view on this OP - you've gone quiet? :flowerforyou:0 -
What is a lamb hotpot? I have 3am hunger and that sounds amazing.
Mmmmmmmmmmm :bigsmile: it's slow cooked neck of lamb fillet in like a gravy with onions and potato slices on top. A casserole? Do you have casseroles out there? It's so tender when it's done it just melts in your mouth :flowerforyou:
Oh dear lord. Sounds almost better than sex! Definitely better than sex with a stranger. Recipe?!0 -
if a girl brought me back to her place or came back to my place after meeting in a bar and we didn't have sex, I'd consider her a tease and lose all respect for her.in my lifetime at bars I have never once had a girl meet me in the bar have drinks, bring me back to her house and NOT have sex.no relationship, no dating. We have sex I leave before the sun comes up and probably don't even remember your name.
That's how it is in America.Look, if its the case in America that if you invite a guy back to your house then it means you want sex, then fair enough.
...
However, the OP has operated differently here, so, someone/somewhere hasn't told her the rules?
Sometimes when you just get started dating you don't realize what's what. For example, when I first became single 3 years ago, I had NO IDEA that inviting a guy over to watch a movie REALLY meant (in dating vernacular) I was inviting him over to make out. WHAT?? I thought I was just being frugal and plus I really like to watch movies! I was so glad when one of the church college kids clued me in as to why these guys thought I was a tease and would get mad at me.
If OP was ok with the signals she's sending, that's one thing. But she keeps talking about these guys like she's hoping for a relationship. The guys themselves are telling her the truth. One of the great things about this board is it's been helpful in pointing out when we are sending signals contrary to our goals.0 -
if a girl brought me back to her place or came back to my place after meeting in a bar and we didn't have sex, I'd consider her a tease and lose all respect for her.in my lifetime at bars I have never once had a girl meet me in the bar have drinks, bring me back to her house and NOT have sex.no relationship, no dating. We have sex I leave before the sun comes up and probably don't even remember your name.
That's how it is in America.Look, if its the case in America that if you invite a guy back to your house then it means you want sex, then fair enough.
...
However, the OP has operated differently here, so, someone/somewhere hasn't told her the rules?
Sometimes when you just get started dating you don't realize what's what. For example, when I first became single 3 years ago, I had NO IDEA that inviting a guy over to watch a movie REALLY meant (in dating vernacular) I was inviting him over to make out. WHAT?? I thought I was just being frugal and plus I really like to watch movies! I was so glad when one of the church college kids clued me in as to why these guys thought I was a tease and would get mad at me.
If OP was ok with the signals she's sending, that's one thing. But she keeps talking about these guys like she's hoping for a relationship. The guys themselves are telling her the truth. One of the great things about this board is it's been helpful in pointing out when we are sending signals contrary to our goals.
Thanks for the explanation Janie :flowerforyou:
I agree that its good to talk on here :bigsmile:0 -
What is a lamb hotpot? I have 3am hunger and that sounds amazing.
Mmmmmmmmmmm :bigsmile: it's slow cooked neck of lamb fillet in like a gravy with onions and potato slices on top. A casserole? Do you have casseroles out there? It's so tender when it's done it just melts in your mouth :flowerforyou:
Oh dear lord. Sounds almost better than sex! Definitely better than sex with a stranger. Recipe?!
Lancashire Hotpot
(Serves 4)
1 ½ lb (600g) boneless neck of lamb, cubed
2 onions, peeled and sliced
15 fl oz (375ml) beef stock
2tsp cornflour, blended with 2 tbsp water
1tsp Worcester sauce
1 tsp dried thyme
salt and freshly ground pepper
2lb (900g) potatoes, peeled and thinly sliced
Pre-heat the oven to 170C/325F/Gas Mark 3
Dry fry the lamb briskly in a non-stick pan until the meat is well browned. Place in a casserole dish.
Reduce the heat a little and dry-fry the onions until they are soft and light brown. Gradually stir in the stock, blended cornflour and water, Worcester sauce and herbs, and bring to the boil, stirring continuously. Season well and pour over the contents of the casserole. Top with neat overlapping layer of potato slices.
Cover the casserole and bake gently for 2 hours. Uncover. Increase the heat to 220C/425F/Gas Mark 7 and continue to cook for a further 30-35 minutes until the potatoes are crisp and brown. Serve with unlimited vegetables.
I always add more thyme and worcester sauce!! Do you even get Worcester sauce in America?? :huh:
BTW this is a Rosemary Connolly recipe from the Beach body diet, but I dont have the calorie count.
:bigsmile:0 -
For a bit of perspective Anna,most to almost all ladies on here will not even let a guy meet them at their homes for a first or second organized date.
My experience has been even allowing an actual phone call means that a lady has moved beyond a casual acquaintance.
To meet a stranger in a bar and then ask them to your home is sending a very strong signal that you want something more then chit chat.
Maybe the op didn`t mean it to be for sex and that is okay but understand a guy is going to read it that way as will virtually 100% of women will too if I was to meet you in a bar and then ask you to come to my hotel room.
If she did not grasp this (which I doubt is the case) then she needs to as it moves things along several steps instantly to do so.
Now as to this being moralistic,it is not as far as the issue of inviting a guy home...it is talking about how you treat people.
To ask a guy home within hours of meeting him and either that night or the next cuddling (which means some level of intimacy) and then saying "I really like this other guy better" is just being inconsiderate to the feelings of Bar guy.
It is not something to be proud of nor would any lady accept it if a guy said he was doing the same without being upfront about the fact they were actively seeking others.
That was all I was addressing.0
