"You don't need to lose weight"

PamL66

I'm 5' 4.5" and currently 143lbs, goal 130.. At my heaviest I was 150. No one looking at me would have called me "fat", but when the clothes start to fit tighter, even the bigger sizes, and you start to feel down on yourself, it's your decision to lose a few pounds and/or tone up what you've got. I don't announce to anyone that I'm trying to lose. I've only told two people in "real life". One is my husband, and the other is thinner than I am. She initially told me I didn't need to lose weight and was "just fine". She weighs 25 lbs less than me and is the same height, but exists on Diet Coke, coffee, cigarettes and occasional junk food. Her opinion means nothing to me since her health is suffering as a result of those habits. When I am around others and refuse a dessert or only have one cookie or reach for the fruit, I get looks and comments like, "oh YOU can eat whatever you want," or "you don't need to worry about a few calories." I have noticed that, for the most part, the people making the comments are much heavier than I am. I generally don't bother responding and they drop the issue.

xarge

5'11, 126 lb. Sadly, still skinny fat, perfectly healthy (for now) except for smoking. In my case, yes I don't need to lose weight but I closely track what I eat, I eat salad (chicken, shrimp, cheese, with a good deal of olive oil which makes them rich nutritionally) outside instead of burritos and that makes people automatically assume that I'm trying to lose weight so I hear that a lot, especially from female friends who starve themselves for a month to look better in bikinis but give up after a week and binge worse. In this case I really doubt the whole motive is concern about my health.

When I don't track what I eat, I end up eating half of the candy and chocolate supplies of the world (a pound of chocolate every day easy) and that's a huge problem, not just because of the weight gain but doing that means diabetes before I'm 40. No thanks.

For me it's about being healthier, stronger and not settling for being skinny but jiggly.

Exactly.

MurphysLawTD

"I know I don't, but you sure do."

"Well yeah, I don't NEED to do anything. I don't even NEED to be having this conversations with you right now, but I am..."

- Direct quotes from yours truly.

linzee2207

I hear this all the time, especially from my boyfriend and my close friends, and you know what? They are right. At 5'4 130 lbs I am technically in my healthy weight range. But it doesn't feel healthy to me. I am subconscious about the way certain styles of clothing fit me and I never had that problem before. Bikini season was just the motivation *I* needed to get myself back in shape. Now pretty much every women wishes they could change something about their body, but there also needs to be a point where we are happy with how we look. I think as long as you recognize what your goal is and don't aim for "underweight", there is nothing wrong with wanting to lose those few extra pounds.

Also, if the people who are saying this to you are actually in the overweight category, it could be a bit of jealousy. I always make sure to not talk about wanting to lose weight around my friends/family who are overweight because I know it makes them think, "wow she thinks she needs to lose weight? what does she think about me then?" Bottom line is your friends should support your desire to get healthy, but we also need to make sure that we keep in mind others' struggles when talking about losing weight.

Superbritt2drescu

I get it from some friends, but my husband is supportive and joins me in being healthy. My sis is a figure model. So she is more intense than I am. She wants me to join her. I just wanna be fit.
As far as what people say, I just smile at them. Even at my heaviest they said I was small. Compared to the average American I am. I just stick with my goals and move towards them. Everyone that tells me I don't need to go to the gym, or eat something bad, I just smile and use that as fuel to run that extra mile.

wavedancer123

Had it last night, from a dear friend, who thought I was the same weight as her, and advised me that I ok and didn't need to loose weight. She is 2 stone lighter than me, so how can I be the same weight as her! I think someone said it earlier, they don't want you to be slimmer than them. I also had 2 members of family who didn't even mention that I had lost weight, which I think is mean, since they last saw me I lost 16lbs!

NikeBody

My response is typically the "It's my body not yours; why does it concern you so much if I'm doing this in a healthy manner?" type of response. I find several of my family and friends to be extremely hypocritical when it comes to their attitudes towards my weight loss journeys. I previously lost 25 lbs last year. When I started everyone said the most negative comments and said "You don't even need to lose weight." After I lost it and posted a weight loss picture on Facebook all of a sudden they wanted weight loss tips and said I looked amazing. Some stated, "Wow, I never realized you were that big." Yeah, well I did. Thankfully.

Unfortunately, I fell off the health wagon, binged a lot, and gained everything back. Some of them call me fat now and say I need to stop eating so much, etc. It's ridiculous because (a month ago) I was the exact same weight as last year, when I initially started to lose.

If I don't respond, which is majority of the time, their words go "in one ear and out the other." It irritates me so much because It's my body and I need to be comfortable in it. I'm a runner as well, so I don't like having excess fat on my body that jiggles with every step. I hate when they try to convince me that I'm wrong for wanting a healthier and fitter me. Majority of the time they're bigger than I am anyways, and eating less healthy.

enb5056

I find this the hardest thing for me. I've stopped talking to anybody about trying to lose weight and be healthy because it creates such hostile feelings in people who are heavier than me. So I've been trying to lose it alone without people to motivate me (impossible) I'm also a vegetarian, so I get the "all you eat is vegetables" line. For now I have been telling people it is for health and preventative reasons (diabetes in the family), which is a lot easier for them to hear.

Ejwelton

I've had it today, and from someone who is very controlled in their own eating and very thin too!
I mentioned I was being extra good in order to be in a good place for my holiday and have a bit of leeway if i gain!

opuntia

I don't tell people I'm losing weight - a lot of people get offended if they are bigger than me, and they always say I don't need to lose weight. I have no need to explain my decisions to people. Besides, my main goals are more about health and wellbeing - I just know from experience that my health and wellbeing are better when I weigh less than I do now. So I just tell people I try to eat healthily and work out because I have food sensitivities and digestive problems, which is also true. People understand it more if you have a specific health problem.

laurenleighlugo

That is so annoying! Just because you're not fat doesn't mean you can't have some insecurities about your body or weight. That's the main reason I joined MFP. There was no one I could talk to who didn't say something like that. I know they're trying to be nice, but it makes me feel like I should shut up or something.