BE Support Group Conversation Thread - 2012

IsMollyReallyHungry

How are you all doing? It is my hope you use this thread to get to know each other better and have a safe place to motivate & support one another daily. This group will be what you all make of it. So let's talk, support, share challenges, successes, and most of all share replases. We can all learn from one another. So please share, share, share. This group is what you make it so lets make it a place for all of us to get support.

One day at a time.:flowerforyou:
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mn145

I've been doing much better. I only had 2 binge days in June which considering my previous track record is awesome. I am taking a beach vacation with some friends and am worried about the aftershocks. I may eat poorly on the trip, but the real damage will come when I return and will binge alone at my house. It is my goal to avoid my trigger foods as much as possible while I am gone so that when I return I won't have a major relapse.

Behavior_Modification

Only 2 days in June is wonderful mn145!

I was at 10 but not dwelling. None were nearly as bad as they once were. I payed attention to my behavior. I logged every day, even though many were excruciating. On the days that I really don't want to log I sometimes pretend I am a scientist and I'm just documenting research on my eating-disordered subject. :laugh: Like that? I'm serious though. One of the coping strategies taught is to just observe, take note, and move on. So I try real hard to look from the outside in and think of it like data. It really is just data - numbers, statistics, entries. It has a lot less power too when I think of it as data instead of "all the crap I binged on".

Diane

emmab852012

I am a horrible Binge eater. This is one of my main problems that I have with weight loss. I could have an awesome day and eat right but as soon as I get off work and get home I feel the urges coming on and I just do it. I don't know exactly why I do it, I guess its a way of me winding down from work, or fulfilling my loneliness or because of the habit. I used to smoke cigarettes I quit about two years ago and I replaced that habit with Food. I come from an addict family who each have different addictions, mine is food. When I binge it is mostly junk food as I am a pretty picky eater.
I just signed up for this site today and I hope this will help put things in perspective once I see all the calories I am actually taking in.
I need to find something else I can replace this with, I was even considering started smoking just so I wouldn't eat as much. I know this was a stupid thought but I really need help.

anorangie

I am a horrible Binge eater. This is one of my main problems that I have with weight loss. I could have an awesome day and eat right but as soon as I get off work and get home I feel the urges coming on and I just do it. I don't know exactly why I do it, I guess its a way of me winding down from work, or fulfilling my loneliness or because of the habit. I used to smoke cigarettes I quit about two years ago and I replaced that habit with Food. I come from an addict family who each have different addictions, mine is food. When I binge it is mostly junk food as I am a pretty picky eater.
I just signed up for this site today and I hope this will help put things in perspective once I see all the calories I am actually taking in.
I need to find something else I can replace this with, I was even considering started smoking just so I wouldn't eat as much. I know this was a stupid thought but I really need help.

Hi emma,

When I joined MFP and started logging my food every day, I learned fairly quickly about how many calories I was consuming versus how many I thought I was consuming. And I decided to log everything, even binges, even though that can be difficult at times (well, every time tbh). Logging really helps me "see" more clearly and doesn't allow me to be in denial about my binges. Before I joined MFP, I wasn't facing the truth about my eating--that I was binging, sometimes a lot during especially stressful times, instead of acknowledging and dealing with my feelings. I easily minimized both the causes and effects of binging. I had been doing it so long, I had normalized it in my mind! Logging food is a good way to be honest with myself, and there is a level of personal accountability that I am benefiting from, too.

MFP helps me move more toward healthy thinking about food. But it's definitely a _process_.

I'm glad you joined; I think you'll find good support here. Remember to be both patient and gentle with yourself.

p.s. I encourage you to hold off on taking up smoking again if you can. I'm sure you quit for a reason, and you have that success under your belt already!

anorangie

Only 2 days in June is wonderful mn145!

I was at 10 but not dwelling. None were nearly as bad as they once were. I payed attention to my behavior. I logged every day, even though many were excruciating. On the days that I really don't want to log I sometimes pretend I am a scientist and I'm just documenting research on my eating-disordered subject. :laugh: Like that? I'm serious though. One of the coping strategies taught is to just observe, take note, and move on. So I try real hard to look from the outside in and think of it like data. It really is just data - numbers, statistics, entries. It has a lot less power too when I think of it as data instead of "all the crap I binged on".

Diane

This is an interesting way of looking at binges. I'm not familiar with the "observe, take note, and move on" coping strategy. I like the idea of observing and noting, and then _not_ obsessing.

Thanks for that.

Do you have any other coping strategies?

IsMollyReallyHungry

I've been doing much better. I only had 2 binge days in June which considering my previous track record is awesome. I am taking a beach vacation with some friends and am worried about the aftershocks. I may eat poorly on the trip, but the real damage will come when I return and will binge alone at my house. It is my goal to avoid my trigger foods as much as possible while I am gone so that when I return I won't have a major relapse.

Excellent job on June!! Keep up the good work and take one day at a time on your trip.

IsMollyReallyHungry

I am a horrible Binge eater. This is one of my main problems that I have with weight loss. I could have an awesome day and eat right but as soon as I get off work and get home I feel the urges coming on and I just do it. I don't know exactly why I do it, I guess its a way of me winding down from work, or fulfilling my loneliness or because of the habit. I used to smoke cigarettes I quit about two years ago and I replaced that habit with Food. I come from an addict family who each have different addictions, mine is food. When I binge it is mostly junk food as I am a pretty picky eater.
I just signed up for this site today and I hope this will help put things in perspective once I see all the calories I am actually taking in.
I need to find something else I can replace this with, I was even considering started smoking just so I wouldn't eat as much. I know this was a stupid thought but I really need help.

Welcome to MFP Emma and to the Binge Eating Support Group too! Tranferance of addictions is very common indeed and you are not stupid for thinking of going back to smoking. Going back to smoking will not solve your issues. Hang in there and MFP does work in many ways with this problem. I like Diane's post comparing our diaries to a sceintific project. Please continue to share. You are not alone.

IsMollyReallyHungry

I don't celebrate holidays but they are still hard for me because I am around the house. I really dread being around the house tomorrow. Perfect set up for a binge. I plan to stay busy but I am very worried about it but going to take it one hour at a time.

anorangie

I don't celebrate holidays but they are still hard for me because I am around the house. I really dread being around the house tomorrow. Perfect set up for a binge. I plan to stay busy but I am very worried about it but going to take it one hour at a time.

Staying busy is a good plan. If I can distract myself, or even give myself a few moments to just think before I eat by separating myself from food somehow, I can often avoid overeating. I wish you the best on Wednesday; you can do it--one hour at a time, just as you say.

IsMollyReallyHungry

I don't celebrate holidays but they are still hard for me because I am around the house. I really dread being around the house tomorrow. Perfect set up for a binge. I plan to stay busy but I am very worried about it but going to take it one hour at a time.

Staying busy is a good plan. If I can distract myself, or even give myself a few moments to just think before I eat by separating myself from food somehow, I can often avoid overeating. I wish you the best on Wednesday; you can do it--one hour at a time, just as you say.

Thanks!

Behavior_Modification

This is an interesting way of looking at binges. I'm not familiar with the "observe, take note, and move on" coping strategy. I like the idea of observing and noting, and then _not_ obsessing.

Thanks for that.

Do you have any other coping strategies?

You are very welcome. I will try to write about more strategies in the upcoming weeks. You can also google DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) to get some new ideas.

Denial is exactly where I am when I don't log my food. I am proud to say I found my way back once again in May and have logged every day since 5/1. Some days as I mentioned have been really difficult.

IsMollyReallyHungry

This is an interesting way of looking at binges. I'm not familiar with the "observe, take note, and move on" coping strategy. I like the idea of observing and noting, and then _not_ obsessing.

Thanks for that.

Do you have any other coping strategies?

You are very welcome. I will try to write about more strategies in the upcoming weeks. You can also google DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) to get some new ideas.

Denial is exactly where I am when I don't log my food. I am proud to say I found my way back once again in May and have logged every day since 5/1. Some days as I mentioned have been really difficult.

Good job Diane!!

Behavior_Modification

Another coping mechanism I try to remind myself of on a regular basis is treating myself like a friend. How would I talk to a friend if she had disordered eating behavior? What would I tell her if she asked for advice? How would I react if she shared a binge experience with me? How would I console her when she's upset about her ED behavior? How would I want her to feel about herself?

Why is it that we are so hard on ourselves? We are down right MEAN to ourselves sometimes. I know I am so guilty of this. I am usually brought to tears when someone brings it to my attention. Most recently it was my trainer, and she is so right, I am not nice to myself. I do need to be reminded..."BE NICE TO YOURSELF!" It's kinda silly to think that such an easy task can be so difficult. And even more ironic is that being nice is something I'm really good at....just not with myself apparently.

The expectations we make for ourselves are different than the expectations we have for other people. Why? Why are we more patient with other people than we are with ourselves? Logically that doesn't sound reasonable, yet we continue the behavior pattern.

Diane

IsMollyReallyHungry

That is so true!!

Behavior_Modification

A helpful way to modify our ED behavior is to practice eating in a healthy manner in front of other people, and practice allowing yourself to feel the emotions that accompany these actions. At first it might be really hard for some. But, really, is any of this easy? No.

IsMollyReallyHungry

Thanks Diane!

IsMollyReallyHungry

:flowerforyou: “If you focus on results, you will never change. If you focus on change, you will get results.” ~Jack Dixon:flowerforyou:

Behavior_Modification

:flowerforyou: “If you focus on results, you will never change. If you focus on change, you will get results.” ~Jack Dixon:flowerforyou:

That is so true, and precisely why dieting doesn't work for me. Dieting has me focusing on immediate results, not long term behavior changes.

kayakinggrrl

I know that disordered eating, especially binging is so similar to other addictions. I get frustrated though because unlike other addictions...alcohol, smoking, drugs...I can't just pour the booze down the drain or flush the cigarrettes and keep the triggering substance at a distance...there has to be some sort of food in the house and I still have to eat. I once heard food addiction described this way and I feel that it rings true every single day.

With some addictions like smoking or alcoholism, you get to put the tiger in a cage. The cage is still there every single day but with a food addiction, you have to go to the tiger's cage and open it up 3-4 times a day.

Behavior_Modification

With some addictions like smoking or alcoholism, you get to put the tiger in a cage. The cage is still there every single day but with a food addiction, you have to go to the tiger's cage and open it up 3-4 times a day.

..............On to my tiger taming lesson.....:laugh:

You are so right about this! Avoiding our triggers just like another addict is a major preventative measure. But what if you don't have specific foods that trigger and simply eating anything can be a trigger? I have times like that - where ANY food is a trigger.

granyks

Hi! I am a binge eater. This latest binge is lasting way too long. I need some help. Through the years I have gotten some help from many sources. The one that worked was expensive counseling with doctor monitored blood tests & meal replacements and exercise. After stopping for two years, I am going through it again. But now I am retired and the money is just not there for this. So I am looking for a good self help book, and anything else to get back control or to manage it. I have had a lifetime of healthy eating and binge eating. I want a healthy relationship with food again. Not this binging overeating out of control thing. I am getting so big, and now I am taking 2 kinds of blood pressure medicine and cholesterol meds and the weight is affecting my arthritis.
This is hurting me and I seem to have no control. My husband says just stop eating so much. I wish I could. I really wish I could.
This fitness pal site seems to be a good place to start. Thanks for reading my rant.

IsMollyReallyHungry

:flowerforyou: “If you focus on results, you will never change. If you focus on change, you will get results.” ~Jack Dixon:flowerforyou:

That is so true, and precisely why dieting doesn't work for me. Dieting has me focusing on immediate results, not long term behavior changes.

I know this mentally but it is hard for me to stop focusing on the results, so I am trying to pull back on focusing on the results and go back to once a week or no more that 2 days a week weigh ins. One of these days I am going to be like you and go to random weigh ins. I am so not there yet. As you know I struggle witth this one for sure!

IsMollyReallyHungry

Hi! I am a binge eater. This latest binge is lasting way too long. I need some help. Through the years I have gotten some help from many sources. The one that worked was expensive counseling with doctor monitored blood tests & meal replacements and exercise. After stopping for two years, I am going through it again. But now I am retired and the money is just not there for this. So I am looking for a good self help book, and anything else to get back control or to manage it. I have had a lifetime of healthy eating and binge eating. I want a healthy relationship with food again. Not this binging overeating out of control thing. I am getting so big, and now I am taking 2 kinds of blood pressure medicine and cholesterol meds and the weight is affecting my arthritis.
This is hurting me and I seem to have no control. My husband says just stop eating so much. I wish I could. I really wish I could.
This fitness pal site seems to be a good place to start. Thanks for reading my rant.

Welcome for MFP and to BE Support Group!! It is too bad when people and especially love ones feel you just need to stop eating to lose weight. When you are a binge eater or have an addiction to food it is so much more than just stop eating.

pamelazee

I got back on track logging on Saturday and haven't binged since then. So I will start counting from then (this time, agian )

Behavior_Modification

Perhaps today's message is a Public Service Announcement - For those that do not already know, there is professional help available for people with BED. I did not know this for myself until 2010, although I have been seeing mental health professionals since I was age 9. It isn't a topic that was asked about, and since I didn't know I even had BED it surely wasn't something I brought up. The embarrassment of not being able to successfully lose weight wasn't a topic I'd jump right into. I didn't know this had anything to do with my mental health. It was uncomfortable enough to discuss it with my primary doctor.

I now often wonder why none of the mental health professionals along the way asked about my eating patterns. If we talked about weight, we would also talk about dieting - but as I now know that doesn't work for me. Why didn't anyone recognize the signs of my ED? I understand that the acceptance and knowledge of EDs has evolved quite a bit in the last 2 decades - but I'm bitter that not one of them caught it. And I've seen at least 2 dozen different people over the years!

Well, at least I know now - and can take the necessary steps to get better. :flowerforyou:

Diane

catjbaker

2nd Day - Binge Free! My goal is 21 days in a row. It's been so long since I've lasted more than 5 work week days. Weekends are the toughest for me. Still trying.........Gained back my 6-8 pounds that I have been trying to lose since Nov 2011. Ugh! Trying to stay positive.

IsMollyReallyHungry

Below is a good email article I received from WW with some good reminders and I feel some are very applicable to binging and others are not. I hope some of you find them helpful reminders! Have a good day!

12 Ways to Stop Overeating
Here are 12 tips to help you regain control of your eating habits.
Article By: Megan Gressor


You've done it by the book for a while. Watched your diet, made healthy choices, exercised every day. Then suddenly you're undoing all your hard work by saying, "I might as well give up. I'll never lose weight!"

"All-or-nothing" thinking doesn't help. People who overeat often feel out of control and disgusted with themselves. It becomes a vicious cycle, leading to low self-esteem and even more eating.

To regain control of your eating habits, ask yourself why you overeat. Is it your way of coping with stressful events? Has gorging on "forbidden" treats become a substitute for other pleasures lacking in your life? Do you use food to soothe, distract or reward yourself?

Breaking It Down
Once you've identified trigger factors, work out other ways to address them. Don't beat yourself up with every little lapse. Instead, focus on positive things you can do to replace or avoid overeating. Pay attention to how you feel when you eat certain foods; you'll start to notice patterns emerging (eating after a family argument, for example, or when you're bored, lonely or disappointed). Consider alternative ways to lift your mood when the urge threatens. Perhaps call a friend, go for a walk or see a movie.

Breaking the Habit
Here are some tips for winning the battle:

1.Take it slow. Crash dieting is more likely to end in losing control than a slow, steady loss of a pound or two each week.


2.Don't cheat yourself! Eat a sensible amount of food each day.


3.Allow occasional treats. If you don't totally cut out "forbidden" foods (such as those donuts that you love), you're more likely to stay on track, because deprivation often leads to overeating. Opt for low-fat versions of favorite foods.


4.Reward yourself for every win — how about a bath or a walk just to enjoy a sunset rather than a reward consisting of junk food.


5.Plan ahead to stay in control. Facing a big test or other ordeal that you fear will send you straight to the cookie jar? Try to keep healthy snacks around to nibble on instead, and exercise to offset your munching — and calm you down, too!


6.Share your feelings — sad, bad or otherwise — with family or friends.


7.Seek support from others trying to lose weight — family, friends or online buddies. They're there to help, and want to see you succeed.


8.Look to calming alternatives if stress is your trigger. Anything from deep breathing to yoga to arts and crafts could help. And don't forget: Exercise is a great tranquillizer. (It also reduces your appetite!)


9.Count to ten. Is overeating your way of coping with anger? Consider other ways of dealing with negative emotions, such as learning assertiveness techniques.


10.Find other ways to fill the void. If you typically overeat when you're looking for emotional nourishment; stop. Feed your spirit by caring for yourself as well as you can during times when you feel unloved, under-appreciated or unworthy. Be your own biggest fan and try to focus on your successes, not to the occasional lapse.


11.Be patient and forgiving of yourself. Long-established complex habits won't change overnight.


12.Avoid all-or-nothing thinking, such as "I've already blown my weight loss plan, I might as well finish off the box." Accept that you may go off the rails from time to time. So you've lost six pounds and regained three? It's important to congratulate yourself for the pounds that you lost. You're doing a great job!

IsMollyReallyHungry

Perhaps today's message is a Public Service Announcement - For those that do not already know, there is professional help available for people with BED. I did not know this for myself until 2010, although I have been seeing mental health professionals since I was age 9. It isn't a topic that was asked about, and since I didn't know I even had BED it surely wasn't something I brought up. The embarrassment of not being able to successfully lose weight wasn't a topic I'd jump right into. I didn't know this had anything to do with my mental health. It was uncomfortable enough to discuss it with my primary doctor.

I now often wonder why none of the mental health professionals along the way asked about my eating patterns. If we talked about weight, we would also talk about dieting - but as I now know that doesn't work for me. Why didn't anyone recognize the signs of my ED? I understand that the acceptance and knowledge of EDs has evolved quite a bit in the last 2 decades - but I'm bitter that not one of them caught it. And I've seen at least 2 dozen different people over the years!

Well, at least I know now - and can take the necessary steps to get better. :flowerforyou:

Diane

Diane,

Thanks so much for sharing this with us. Hopefully you will let the resentment go. I feel there are many primary care doctors who are not even aware of binging as a disorder and the professional help that is out there. Many doctors still believe it is as black and white as to just stop eating so much. Which is what pisses me off because if it were that easy I would not be obese.

Doctors did not give obesity the same alarms as they do to other eating disorders that cause people to die sooner than obesity does.

Now I believe people including doctors are looking seriously at it because of the epidemic of obesity. When we were younger obesity was not at the levels it is at today. I know for me I was the only one in the class who was obese. Nowadays you have over 10 children in some classes who are obese.

Thanks again for sharing all of you knowledge with group and I would like to add that there is a lot of good information on binge eating in the library. Wonderful books that are very helpful at defining binge eater.

Happy hump day all and take it one day at a time! :flowerforyou:

Behavior_Modification

All 12 are fabulous tips!

The all or nothing thinking is one reason it is so difficult to continue to recover from an ED. There will be lapses. This is a normal part of the healing process. It's annoying. It's frustrating. It's discouraging. It makes you want to give up. How can we be so strong one day or a whole month, and so out of control the next? But I have not met one person who was able to discontinue their ED behavior indefinitely from the very first day they set out to recover.

We are battling with our own minds. We are mentally ill. That is a big gulp to swallow. Especially if being "mentally ill" isn't accepted in your family, or community, or religion - or by yourself. Society as a whole doesn't really understand what it means to be mentally ill and I think most people who don't know much about it are afraid of that terminology. It is the unknown. The media has depicted the mentally ill in a much more negative, non-controlled, humiliating manner - and IMO it hasn't been very accurate in general. I hope this continues to improve.

Luckily for me, my mother understood mental illness. She struggles with it herself. She recognized symptoms of it in my behavior as a young child and took me to a psychologist. Mental illness, aside from the ED, is something I've struggled with a long time, and have been on medication for since a teenager. But even after years and years of practice, it isn't an easy thing to talk about with someone who doesn't understand.

We understand.

Diane

IsMollyReallyHungry

But I have not met one person who was able to discontinue their ED behavior indefinitely from the very first day they set out to recover.

Same here. :ohwell: and that is why we should not be hard on ourselves when we lapse. I truly believe we can only manage ED behaviors. Recovery is relative and we will always need to manage the behaviors.