BE Support Group Conversation Thread - 2012
Replies
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I just recently joined this group. I've been working on trying to control the binge eating. I gained 26 pounds since November because of my constant binge eating, but I've had problems with binge eating for much longer. Most of my life, really. Anyway, I'd like to take off that 25 pounds and more, as well as address the binge eating problem. I also have had issues with depression--I'm well medicated and doing fine now, if a little unmotivated, and it has cured some of the emotional traps that caused me to binge, but not changed some of the behavior patterns that were so closely linked with a binge. I'm trying a major reward for myself--60 days binge free and I get an iPhone, and any binges after cause the data plan to be shut off for a month. I'm hoping that the long period will get me solidly in the new behavior pattern.
When I'm in a binge, it feels like an addiction. No thought, on to the next. First I go to Starbucks and then get a big candy-type drink. Then I hit a fast food restaurant. Then I go home and eat so my husband doesn't know I just stuffed myself an hour earlier. That hit of sugar seems to set something off in my brain, and I go into seeking mode. Or I go to the grocery store, and as I'm driving up, I make the decision to buy crackers and dip. Or ice cream. Or both. I'm not hungry, not craving anything, the behavior pattern after months of doing this is just so hardwired that I was having a hard time stopping. I didn't want to say no to it, because it tasted so good.
I'm 12 days into my 60 day reset, and I am struggling a bit. I've had a couple of close calls that were more overeating at dinner, or a spur of the moment unhealthy eating decision, but not like the 2000-3000 binges I had. But one thing at a time. I fail if I try to address every negative food behavior at once. That much I've learned. And in the 12 days, I've had the dramatic overeating happen less than before. I'm more conscious of decisions I'm making. But I still have that urge. It isn't a craving. I'm not hungry. It is the desire to go get something just for the sake of eating it. It still whispers in the back of my mind. I'm afraid that even if I'm successful with my 60 day reset, it will still be there, whispering. That it will be a bit of a struggle forever. I want so badly to be at peace with food and my body.0 -
Book list that was requested -- Link below:
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/697030-book-list-on-binge-eating-or-related-subjects
There are a host of self help books out on binge eating, compulsive overeating, eating disorders, etc. Just use your library search engines to find what your library have.
Geneen Roth has a lot of good books on this matter that is not too technical. When I found Bite by Bite, that was not the book I was looking for. I was looking for another one of her books and this was one of the only ones they had on CD so I checked it out. Right now I don't have time to read a book but I have time to listen to them on the way to work or in my car.
Hope this list helps.0 -
Hello all
Well today is a better day for me. I found out I will be losing my job soon. Somewhere between December 1st and January 1st. I wanted to binge but so far I have been talking myself out of it because eating will not help this situation. I have to be proactive and start making the necessary doctor appointments before my insurance ends and making contacts with people in my industry to look out for job openings for me. I have been here 10 years so I want to wait and get my package so on some levels my hands are tied.
I did cry today because even though I expected it losing a job is losing a job and not an happy occasion at all. So I am going to let myself feel sad:sad: about it and not eat about it. :noway: I am crying as I write this, but I will be OK for sure.
Have a good evening!
One day at a time0 -
I've recently discovered this group. I don't know why I didn't think to look here - perhaps I've been in denial. I've always had a big appetite and for the most part I've been able to keep it under control to lose weight over the past year, but since hitting maintenance I just can't seem to stay within my Cals and binge. Yesterday I made myself 3 lots of half a cup of icing sugar mixed with cream. Plus loads of biscuits and other sweets. By dinner time I felt so sick I couldn't eat dinner. I went to bed in pain. This is not a first occurrence.
Doesn't matter how much or how little I eat each day, when I feel the urge to binge my body just seems to take over.
I am worst about 2 weeks prior to AF, but lately that's slipping out further and lasting longer. Going to look through older posts and hope to check in here regularly. good luck to everyone.0 -
Happy Friday Everyone!
Please see below link from a member looking for support who is bulimic:
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/706996-seeking-recovering-ed-binge-eater-bulimic-friends0 -
I am going to try and count the days I can remain binge free with you all.0
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Happy hump day!!
You all are very quiet. I would just like to share something with you all that may prove useful to some.
This week I looked into getting a life coach to help me with impulse to use food as a friend.
While shopping for a coach I found one that specializes in binge eating, compulsive over eating. I got the idea from listening to Geneen Roth books. I spoke with her Monday. I saw many weight loss coaches out there but many of the others were like a diet. Her website was screaming to me because her whole website focused on the demons of compulsive overeating and binge eating. In my ED program last year we stopped at my fears and how I was letting them hold me back, so I really want to pick up where I left off last year. I wrote her below email last night: (this was 1 of 3 short emails to give her my background and history so that will be out of the way)
Hi Denise,
You asked me yesterday, what do you want to get out of weight loss coaching?
I am afraid to lose the extra 100+ pounds I need to lose to feel good. I am afraid to let myself be happy. I am afraid to have a normal relationship with a man. My father was abusive (not sexually but mentally and physically to me and my sister and mostly my Mom) Because of this abuse it has made me use pounds to stay safe. I have used food to not take chances on love. I use the fat as a coat to keep me in a cage. I had Gastric Bypass Surgery in 2004 and lost about 300 pounds. Kept off about 220 pounds and gained back about 80 pounds. My highest weight was 611 and lowest weight 302 in 2007. Now I weigh 388. I have been trying to the 80 pounds gained off and then I never reached my ultimate goal of 220 pounds or somewhere around there.
I have looked into having another surgery but I really want to deal with my demons and fears of going to the next level. The weight already lost changed my life so much but I got afraid as I got smaller and got more attention from men so I turned back to my favorite friend of choice – FOOD. Hence current weight gain. I hope working with a weight loss coach will help me not be fearful of what if and a future without a FAT COAT. I want to get rid of the fear that is holding me back. The fear that is causing me to sabotage myself. I believe I am worth it, that is why I had the 1st surgery. Now I want to take my life to the next level before I hit 50. I pray you are the one to help me
I look forward to our meeting on phone next week at 7:30pm.
her reply to me
I commend you for being resourceful and giving yourself that support, including the webinar yesterday.
I'm glad to know your background and your goals. Yes, staying safe in a more mature, evolved way sounds like the poignant thing to focus on on our coaching call.
Know that you will get to where you want.
Warmly,
Denise
“Know that for every need, you have the means to fill it.” Sanaya Roman, Personal Power through Awareness, 1986
Denise B. Holz
Weight Loss Coach
Seattle, WA (206) 242-6224
www.enlightenedweightloss.com0 -
Hello all I'm new to this group Trying Intuitive Eating and finding that Bine eating is my biggest fear.. Today (first day in about a week I lost it and ate without being aware of what I was eating ie I Binged!! I need to release the guilt and get back into working the principles of intuitive eating. This is an absolute must for me.!!!0
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Happy Friday!! :flowerforyou:
I am reading Geneen Roth book now, Take Back Your Life and it is very good. This is the 2nd book of hers I have read. Just wanted to share a bit of the basis or foundation of her books. Have an awesome weekend ladies!
Geneen Roth's Eating Guidelines
1. Eat when you are hungry. (Truly hungry, body hungry not mind hungry)
2. Eat sitting down in a calm environment. This does not include the car.
3.Eat without distractions. Distractions include radio, television, newspaper, books, intense or anxiety producing conversation and music.
4. Eat only what your body wants. (Big difference from what your MIND wants!)
5. Eat until you are satisfied. (This is different than full).
6. Eat (with the intention of being) in full view of others.
7. Eat with enjoyment, gusto and pleasure.0 -
Hiya, I'm new here.
I have times where I'll be able to go for a week or so and feel fine, then I'll relapse. Summer has been awful for me and I struggle hugely because I don't have any structure in my day or anything at all to keep me busy. It's literally just waiting for time to drag by so I can return to college and get on with my life. I find it generally a lot easier to eat well at college because it's not constantly on my mind as I have other things to be doing.
I've only really developed this awful eating pattern earlier this year and I've gained around 10lbs from it which I want to lose so that I can get my confidence back and prove that I can overcome it.
Feel free to talk to me, I could use any encouragement.0 -
Many of us have found the link below to be very useful to help with mindfulness regarding binges. It is a very simple challenge that can easily be used in conjuction with your program to recover from your eating disorder.
So feel free to join us if you think it is something for you:
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/726007-september-challenge-me-vs-the-binge0 -
Hi, my name's Brandi. I'm a 24 year old mother of one awesome little dude. I work from home on a computer. I first noticed I had a serious problem with food when I used to work in an office and I would go to the vending machine, buy Hostess cupcakes, then go in the bathroom and hide to eat them. That was roughly 3 years ago. I've always been heavy so I just chalked it up to that. But, it's gotten worse since starting to work from home. I'll go out after having just ate dinner an hour or two ago and eat my son's sugary cereal. That makes me feel really awful. I always say "This is the last day", but it never is. I'm glad this group is here to help. This is my first time really checking out the groups and I'm glad I found this one:flowerforyou:0
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Many of us have found the link below to be very useful to help with mindfulness regarding binges. It is a very simple challenge that can easily be used in conjuction with your program to recover from your eating disorder.
So feel free to join us if you think it is something for you:
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/726007-september-challenge-me-vs-the-bin0 -
Many of us have found the link below to be very useful to help with mindfulness regarding binges. It is a very simple challenge that can easily be used in conjuction with your program to recover from your eating disorder.
So feel free to join us if you think it is something for you:
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/726007-september-challenge-me-vs-the-binge0 -
Hey everyone! I'm new to MFP and SOOO excited. Especially about this group. I have binge eating disorder, but attempting to change my habits and behaviors and shift my lifestyle. Like many of you, I've had this issue for what seems like my whole life. Mothers and daughters. Feeling restricted. Feeling the push to be "skinny and perfect" and rebelling against that notion. And then, unfortunately, these thought processes transfer into behaviors which now tarnish our adult lives.
And we end up at our kitchen tables around midnight feeling depressed that we simply cannot stop eating this entire jar of Nutella.
I have a lot more to say and cannot wait to read more and share and learn with the help of the community. It really does help. I've realized writing everything down -- even my emotions when I feel that "binge urge" come on -- is what is helping me. Remember - when you feel the urge, you are being asked to PAY ATTENTION to what's going on inside you. We run away and hide and escape ourselves. The spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle has great things to say about addictions, and one of the things that has helped me is whenever the urge comes on, sit for a moment in silence with yourself and take three deep breaths. What's going on there? What I've found is my ego/mind/inner child does not want to "be denied" and thus carries away with over eating in the belief that I will not get the chance again --or that I won't have enough. But the breath seemingly dissolves that feeling.
Watch an Eckhart Tolle vid here about over eating on my fitblr blog:
http://onlypracticeonthedaysyoueat.tumblr.com/post/30435285693/so-im-back-and-i-want-to-be-tonight-i-said-let0 -
There is a Mystery Behind Every Food Addiction
SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 15, 2012 | POSTED BY DR. GOULD
Are you looking for a "Magical Cure" to your food obsession or a "Scientific Solution?"
We know that emotional eating is the major cause of overeating, weight gain, food disorders and eating addictions. When you eat for emotional reasons, you are doing so because you are in conflict with yourself. You have to recognize that you have two selves fighting it out with each other, over every difficult food decision.
THE CONFLICT
On one hand, when you decide to "diet", you are saying to yourself that you want to learn how to eat in moderation and stop using food in excess to deal with overwhelming emotions. You want to stop the self destructive use of food which is making you fat, miserable, and damaging your health. You are the one who is deciding to stop this eating pattern because it's in your best interest.
On the other hand, there is a part of you that when it comes to eating what you want, says; "nobody's going to take my food away from me." This stake in the ground represents a defiant act of independence. For some strange reason, this rebellious self is glorified and generates a sense of pride. This is part of the mystery that needs to be revealed, because that someone who wants to take food away from you is you.
THE MYSTERY
The meaning of food and hunger, and the act of eating, is part of the "mysterious" unique psychology of each person's complex life, both past and current. Below is an example of a common scenario that illustrates the origins of the rebellious self. Keep in mind, there are many others. Some that start later in life and others that have nothing to do with a parent. Regardless of the origin of your eating conflict, the fact that you are still rebelling against yourself, is a mystery to be solved.
Often times the pattern starts as a rebellion against a parent, mostly the mother. People vividly remember their mother constantly harping about their weight during late childhood and adolescence. They did not see their mothers attention to their weight as a loving gesture. Usually they saw it as a rejecting gesture meaning that they were not valued if they were heavy and would only be valued if they were thin and popular.
In response to that interpretation of their mother's intent, they dug in their heels and rebelled and refused to lose weight. Oftentimes they would sneak food to baffle their doctors and confuse their parents who couldn't understand how they gained weight on the prescribed diet. Since they were ostensibly doing everything possible they should be excused from losing weight because it wasn't in their control, it was just their metabolism. They convinced themselves that they were victims being misunderstood and unfairly treated.
THE SOLUTION
The solution to this conflict is insight, it is your personal "Ahas" that will resolve this conflict over time. Here is an example of a woman who conquered her rebellious self.
One day she calmly and clearly decided that she was simply going to lose weight! This statement came only after she was convinced she could master the problems in her relationship without using food to comfort herself or to punish her husband. This did not just happen magically. It was at the end of a process during which she was immersed in hours and hours of thinking about herself and food and grabbing little insights along the way until it all added up.
Many other members of the Shrink Yourself Program have reported that they have suddenly lost their cravings, after understanding the rebellious aspects of themselves.
THE SCIENCE
All significant learning takes time, attention, practice and patience. The brain has multiple processing centers that work individually and every night when you go to sleep your brain works very hard to synthesize what you have learned in these multiple centers. Therefore, every morning when you wake up you're a little bit wiser.
The Shrink Yourself program takes into account how the brain works. We keep you immersed in thinking about emotional eating and your life for 12 weeks through multiple approaches and features so that you can collect hundreds of little insights, sleep on them every night, and let your brain finish the work.
So although the emotional eating issue is complex and the rebellion against yourself very personal, there is a scientific method that can deal with that complexity if you are willing to make the effort to learn more about yourself.
Are you ready to resolve the "mystery" of your eating conflict?0 -
Hey. I'm a recovered (I guess that would be the term) binge eater. It took me about three months to get on a roll (lots of reading and weekly therapy sessions). After the initial three months, I've had 1 binge in 9 months - because I hadn't eaten for a couple days due to food poisoning.
I did a few things to overcome my issues. Take or leave any as you wish:
1. I saw a therapist
2. I stopped logging my calories. Every time I would log, i found myself getting competitive and neurotic. I would cut and cut until it was too low (some days below 1000) until ultimately binging after losing a few pounds.
3. I focused on nutrition. I read up on all type of vitamins and minerals (and how they helped the body) and then tried to get all my nutrients from food.
4. I started eating 300-400 calories for breakfast instead of skipping or the previous 100-200
5. If I wanted junk, I ate something nutrient dense for each serving of junk I ate.
I did this until my eating habits normalized. Some weeks I would take in more calories, some weeks less. At most I would over-indulge. For the 1st time I could keep a pint of ice cream that lasted more than a night or two. I did this for awhile because I was afraid of relapse or that I was being over-confident. Meanwhile as I felt more secure, I slowly decreased the amount of times per month that I saw my therapist. This month was my last visit . I've now joined MFP with a modest weekly weight loss target. I won't be weigh myself unless my clothes get loose and I think i need to find a new maintenance level.
This time around, I feel very good about tracking my food. I see it as meeting my nutritional/health goals rather than getting skinny. So that's my story. I hope it helps.
Also, I cried my little heart out the first time I thought about getting off the diet roller coaster. It was so scary and I was afraid I would lose control and get even larger. I thought, geez if this is my weight when I try, what will happen when I quit. 9 months have gone by and nothing happened. I didn't blow up. Looking back I can't believe how scared I was to not diet and how relieved and happy I feel now.0 -
Thanks for sharing with us Anne!! Good job!0
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Happy Hump day Peeps!!!:flowerforyou:
I read below article this morning from an email I receive from Duke University. It is sort of long but worth a read since we all are dealing with emotional eating:
Are You in Touch With Your Emotions?
When you're faced with a powerful or uncomfortable feeling, how do you deal with it? Sometimes when we don't know what to do with an emotion, we turn to food to cope with it or cover it up. This response can become so automatic that you may not even be aware of the emotion that's triggering your impulse to eat. But if you understand what you're feeling and what you really need, chances are you will realize that food isn't going to meet that need.
The next time you experience an uncomfortable emotion, try the following steps. They can help you understand where your feelings are coming from and how to manage them.
1. Connect with the emotion. Take a deep breath, close your eyes, and continue to breathe comfortably and fully with nice, gentle, full breaths. Focus on your bodily sensations. Recognize how your body feels "in the moment" without judging or interpreting. Notice how your chest rises with each breath and how the air flows through your nose and into your lungs.
2. Observe the emotion. Ask yourself, "What am I sensing? What am I feeling? What am I thinking?" Resist the urge to figure out why you are feeling a certain way — just experience the emotion.
3. Evaluate the emotion. Practice recognizing your true needs. Perhaps you are bored? Then your need might be for activity. However, if you are lonely, the answer may be quite different — activity involving friends or at least other people. Now ask yourself, "What do I need right now? What is missing?"
4. Choose an action. Understand that there is no right or wrong here — individual needs vary. We'll offer some ideas, but the best actions are the ones you come up with yourself — the ones that meet your needs in the moment. For example, you may need to:
•Express the feeling in private (cry, write in your journal, etc.).
•Release the feeling through action. For example, you might find release through movement, like walking or dancing.
•Use relaxation techniques like deep breathing or meditation.
•Express the feeling to others you trust and seek their support.
Reconnecting with your emotions can help you find outlets for them that don't involve food. This week, focus on improving your emotional awareness.0 -
I am just curious if anyone else experiences "memory loss" during a binge....like you don't know what you are doing and afterwords would need wrappers or whatever to piece together what exactly it was you ate?0
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No this is not an issue for me.I am just curious if anyone else experiences "memory loss" during a binge....like you don't know what you are doing and afterwords would need wrappers or whatever to piece together what exactly it was you ate?0 -
Just binged again tonight after a "good" day. Ughhh. Also strikes when I'm most vulnerable, late at night, alone and unwatched, unable to sleep. I was just sitting there with the fridge door open looking for something to stuff into my mouth...passed over several veggies. Only the comfort foods do though--quick and tasty stuff. Thank goodness we didn't have much in there to derail me and I ended up having two homemade flour tortillas with provolone cheese and turkey slice on each. Tried to fatten those up and make them tastier by dipping them in mayo, but couldn't. I was frustrated after that because I was still deeply in that "binge zone" mode and was even contemplating driving to a 24 hour fast food drive thru, but at last, my fatigue started to kick in and my reason I gather. I did decide to have two pieces of toast with margarine, milk, a few marshmellows and some left over seasoned white rice before calling it quits. Wowza! Do I sound like a maniac or what?! And I had a really good day, tracked and all! :-( Feel so bad but maybe I needed to have this happen again to start to see how out of control I can get in these wee hours?! And what if there were more junk food available ....I would have most definitely ate it. Maybe limiting what I have in be house does work and I can convince my partner to compromise some more and keep the fridge and cupboard a bit more barren as they were to tonight for my sake?
P.S. Should I track my binge and tack it on to today's or yesterday's diary? Do any of you do that?0 -
Just binged again tonight after a "good" day. Ughhh. Also strikes when I'm most vulnerable, late at night, alone and unwatched, unable to sleep. I was just sitting there with the fridge door open looking for something to stuff into my mouth...passed over several veggies. Only the comfort foods do though--quick and tasty stuff. Thank goodness we didn't have much in there to derail me and I ended up having two homemade flour tortillas with provolone cheese and turkey slice on each. Tried to fatten those up and make them tastier by dipping them in mayo, but couldn't. I was frustrated after that because I was still deeply in that "binge zone" mode and was even contemplating driving to a 24 hour fast food drive thru, but at last, my fatigue started to kick in and my reason I gather. I did decide to have two pieces of toast with margarine, milk, a few marshmellows and some left over seasoned white rice before calling it quits. Wowza! Do I sound like a maniac or what?! And I had a really good day, tracked and all! :-( Feel so bad but maybe I needed to have this happen again to start to see how out of control I can get in these wee hours?! And what if there were more junk food available ....I would have most definitely ate it. Maybe limiting what I have in be house does work and I can convince my partner to compromise some more and keep the fridge and cupboard a bit more barren as they were to tonight for my sake?
P.S. Should I track my binge and tack it on to today's or yesterday's diary? Do any of you do that?
Does your partner know about your BED struggle? Definitely helps when there is no trigger food in the house! I've had urges to binge, and we were out of nutella, didn't have pop tarts....ice cream..any of that -- I can't binge on veggies! LOL. So it helps me. Unfortunately, the people I live with do not keep those out of the house long...we usually have something.
Logging everything helps u stay accountable.
No, I wouldn't log it into todays calories -- clean slate. Fresh start , eat when you're hungry... if it's less than usual, that's fine.
I've overate at night before and when I logged it into breakfast calories, it only made me guilty the next day and made me feel pressured to skip meals/make up for it... more guilt, I slipped and binged later.0 -
After midnight I log for the next day as 1st meal of the day which is breakfast so I will just show an huge breakfast and sometimes I tack it on to snacks since techincally not breakfast. Thank goodness I am in the bed most nights after midnight except weekends and this is my rule for Friday, Sat and Sun.P.S. Should I track my binge and tack it on to today's or yesterday's diary? Do any of you do that?0 -
How Mindful Eating Becomes Mindful Living
November 2012 Newsletter by Michelle May, M.D.
There's a saying: How you do anything is how you do everything. It is not always obvious, but it is often true. I’ve been thinking about that a lot because today is my big 5-0. (We’re having a Virtual Birthday Party later this month! Read on for more information…)
Milestones like graduations, anniversaries, New Year’s, and birthdays that end in a zero give us an opportunity to reflect on our journey so far and anticipate the journey ahead. It may sound strange, but I am truly grateful for my struggle with food and yoyo dieting. Although it was a significant challenge for many years of my life, in return, I received the precious gifts of insight, authenticity, and compassion that I'm now able to use to inspire and help others.
I also realize that my journey to freed om with food has really been a journey to freedom in my life - and I’ve heard that from many of you too. Since "how I do anything might be how I do everything," learning to eat mindfully has taught me (and continues to teach me) how to live mindfully. Below is an example of how to apply mindful eating lessons to your life from each chapter/workshop:
It’s not about being in control, it’s about being in charge. What else, besides food, are you trying to control instead of giving yourself the flexibility to make decisions that are right in that circumstance?
Whenever you feel like eating, pause to ask “Am I hungry?” Rather than reacting on autopilot, pausing between the stimulus and the response gives you response-ability. What other triggers in your life need a pause button to give you time to think about your next action?
Guilt fuels the eat-repent-repeat cycle. Regret leaves the door open for learning. Are you allowing guilt or shame about the past paralyze you and prevent you from moving forward in some area of your life?
Remember TFAR: Your Thoughts lead to your Feelings which lead to your Actions which lead to your Results. Diets don’t work because they are focused on actions, not the root causes (your thoughts and feelings); in fact they even create new thoughts and feelings that drive more overeating! Where else in your life do you try to fix the outside without addressing the inside first? How is that backfiring?
Allow Balance, Variety, and Moderation to guide your food choices. These principles work well for nutrition so how can you apply them to your work, exercise, and other aspects of your life?
Mindful Eating is eating with intention and attention. What else in your life, in addition to eating, would benefit from more intention and attention?
Eating the right amount of food isn’t about being good; it’s about feeling good. How can increased awareness of the effects of your choices (without judgment) help you choose more wisely?
Practicing excellent self-care builds a buffer zone that helps you cope with the inevitable challenges that life brings. Are you investing in yourself consistently?
I hope these lessons have helped you as much as they have helped me. But if you haven’t started this journey yet, it’s never too late!
Six years ago, I had the opportunity to facilitate an Am I Hungry? Mindful Eating Workshop in a retirement community. On the first day, one of the participants, 70 year old Velma, said, “Honey, I’ve been on every diet invented. I don’t see how this one’s going to be any different, but why quit now?” On the last day of our workshop, with tears in her eyes, Velma said, “Why didn’t anyone teach me this stuff forty years ago? It makes me sad to think of all of the time, energy, and money I’ve wasted—but I’m not going to waste one more minute of my life dieting!”
And that is why I always sign my books, articles, and emails with…
Eat Mindfully, Live Vibrantly!
Michelle May, M.D.0 -
(From the book Binge No More by Joyce Nash... found this on a bloggers post.)
In order to change your behavior, you have to change how you think. We often make mistakes with our thought processes. We adopt all-or-nothing mentalities, or rely only on our emotions that are often negative. We overgeneralize the way we eat and/or look. We see doom and gloom in the future, or think we know how others view us. All of this negativity sabotages our efforts not to binge, and we all have these voices in our heads:
The Critic - the judgmental voice that chips away at our self-esteem
The Excuse-Maker - the coping voice that justifies your behaviors (boy, this is a big one for me!)
The Worrier - the voice that predicts disaster, that you'll get fat if you eat that potato chip
The Caretaker - the voice that puts our own needs on the back burner in favor of the needs of others
The Victim - the voice that says it's unfair to be afflicted with these problems (yeah, another one I'm guilty of - I've noted my resentment often, that I can't just eat what and when I want)
The Enforcer - the voice that cracks the whip and demands perfection in our eating and exercising
The Voice of Negativity - the voice that points out all your flaws
The Voice of an Eating Disorder - the voice that tells you "this is who you are and how it is" when it doesn't need to be that way
Coping with disordered eating is an entirely different beast for me. Nash talks about problem-focused coping and emotion-focused coping. Problem-focused coping uses problem-solving strategies and other active methods of change that can influence a situation. I suck at problem solving. I'm not an outside-of-the-box thinker at all. In fact, even obvious solutions are often a mystery to me. Emotion-focused coping occurs when there isn't much about a situation that can be influenced, including negative feelings. For the disordered eater, this results in avoidance and escape.
Nash's strategy problem-focused coping is:
Define the problem
Generate a list of alternative activities
Choose a solution and execute it
Nash's chapter on the causes of disordered eating offers a lot of information. From cultural factors (such as the popularity of super-thin models) to biological and psychological influences, it's packed full of discussion that I cannot possibly convey here properly.
Family Influences:
* bulimic and BED - controlling parents, families are conflicted and disorganized, seldom express feelings**
* anorexic - controlling, overprotective parents, rigid, avoid conflict
* mother/daughter relationships - if the mother exhibits disordered eating, the daughter is likely to**
* father/daughter relationships - father's attitude towards food/weight influence daughter's perception of food/weight
Trauma
* abusive/unsafe environments lead to anxiety, low self-esteem, desire to please at any cost
Self Concept (role one plays in family)
* Worthless Self - unsupportive families lead to using food as a way to cope**
* People Pleaser - self-worth is related to how others see them and will do whatever necessary to gain approval, including giving in to pressures related to food and weight**
* High Achiever - pressure to be perfect leads to stress and need to be in total control**
Environmental Influences
* School - peer pressure, adolescent vulnerabilities affect self-esteem
* Peers - teasing and sharing of diet related information make dieting more likely**
Psychological Factors
* Comparing oneself to others****
* Calorie restriction**
* Low self-esteem and stress**
* Desire to escape negative feelings**
Biological Influences
* Hormone changes
* Carbohydrate craving (like Fairburn, Nash thinks there are problems with the theory:)
When carbohydrate cravers consume carbohydrates such as chocolate, they experience improved mood and less fatigue, whereas non-cravers report feeling more depressed and more fatigued after eating carbohydrates.
So what is wrong with the theory that eating carbs increases serotonin levels in the brain? The research did not involve human subjects - though, I would sure sign up to eat chocolate!! Nash also questions whether binge eaters really have low levels of serotonin. I say, do some darn studies!! I know eating chocolate makes me feel good (at least at first) and I still can't wrap my head around the "myth" of carbohydrate craving. I feel like I experience it - how can it be a myth?
Other Influences
* Genetics - possibly, but more studies are needed
* Hunger and Starvation - obsession with food, mood swings, irritability, loss of control lead to binge eating
Chemical Dependency - like Fairburn, Nash doesn't think there's a complete parallel between binge eating and alcoholism/drug addiction
* primarily because no studies show direct biochemical influences of consuming a forbidden food
* "cravings" for foods, like sweets, are more like learned responses - the increased serotonin from consuming sweets "trains" us to want those foods when we're experiencing negative feelings
* the addiction model encourages "all-or-nothing" thinking, which can lead to more binges
Types of Binges
* The hunger binge is triggered by physical deprivation. Restricting food can cause mood swings, obsessive thoughts about food, suppression of hunger (especially when endorphins are released from exercise). Eventually, something is going to give, and it will most likely be your control. The best thing to do? Eat regularly - most of the recommendations I've seen say 3 meals and 2-3 snacks. I try to do it that way, and eat every 3-4 hours.
* The deprivation binge begins with a sense of wanting or needing something but not knowing just what it is that is wanted. This is most often seen when the dieter has forbidden foods. For me, it's the chocolate and other sweets. Sometimes, it's all I think about and I focus more and more on what I can't have. Then I lose it.
* The stress binge, sometimes called "emotional eating," serves to alter moods and can produce dissociation - a state in which emotion is split off from reality - allowing the person to feel less overwhelmed. Eating is a way to escape from whatever we're experiencing. I know there are times when I'm stressed and all I want is to stuff my face. My son's first day of preschool is a good example. I was so upset when I bough that ice cream for him that I really just wanted to eat it all up right there in the grocery line. (Though, I am proud to say that I have not touched that ice cream at all!)
* The opportunity binge occurs because of the combination of boredom and unstructured time. When I have nothing to do, I tend to want to eat, but if I am constructively occupied, I barely think of food!
* The vengeful binge is a way of venting hostility. Oh, this is definitely me! When I get mad, I eat. It's probably the one emotion most likely to trigger a binge for me. Then I get angrier, of course, and binge some more.
* The pleasure binge is triggered by the desire for stimulation and entertainment. Eating as a reward. I'll admit, I do this on occasion. When I was doing Body For Life, I had a "free" day every Sunday as part of the plan, and I could eat whatever I wanted. I quickly learned that I cannot handle a free day because it would be a binge and not just overeating or a small cheat. I found Mondays extremely difficult for getting back on plan.
*The habit binge is the binge that is on automatic pilot. Also called a grazing binge, it involves almost non-stop eating without effort to control of feel guilty about it. I've done this many times. Overeating at a restaurant, I'd have excessive dessert. Then I would buy more junk food on the way home and eat all of it. Then I'd raid my freezer or pantry for whatever else I could get my teeth into.
Stages of a Binge
* Tension Buildup - whatever factors lead up to the binge
* Tension Release - the eating itself, and any behaviors (such as purging) that bring the binge to an end
* Recovery - a low energy phase with symptoms that may include headache, nausea, fatigue
* New Beginning - often just a short period of time when the individual attempts to stop binging and lose weight, and usually leads to another binge cycle
Triggers of a Binge - Nash lists an entire page of triggers, which I won't copy here. The usual suspects are there: stress, anxiety, hunger, obsessions, boredom, low self-esteem.
---I put a couple stars above by each one that has triggered me, and family life plays a role in it. I'm not blaming anyone, it's just interesting to see that list on the BED causes, and me fitting all the stuff. (none of the personality disorders)
Maybe some of this article will give someone insight!0 -
Does your partner know about your BED struggle? Definitely helps when there is no trigger food in the house! I've had urges to binge, and we were out of nutella, didn't have pop tarts....ice cream..any of that -- I can't binge on veggies! LOL. So it helps me. Unfortunately, the people I live with do not keep those out of the house long...we usually have something.
Logging everything helps u stay accountable.
No, I wouldn't log it into todays calories -- clean slate. Fresh start , eat when you're hungry... if it's less than usual, that's fine.
I've overate at night before and when I logged it into breakfast calories, it only made me guilty the next day and made me feel pressured to skip meals/make up for it... more guilt, I slipped and binged later.
I had the same problem with my family, not anymore because I'm getting a divorce, but I cleaned out one cabinet and put my food in that cabinet. I could only eat food out of that one cabinet. I also asked that cookies, brownies, and other snacks not be left in the open on the table or the counter.
At 1st I was ignored, I would then put the trigger food away but after a few binges while I was putting it away I decided a different route. If any of that food was openly displayed I would throw it in the trash.
I guess you not shocked that I'm divorcing. But that's a whole other rant, but at the core was lack of respect and not caring about my needs.
But I was struggling and no one in the house cared. Honestly, they still don't, but they did care the snacks were trashed so the behavior stopped.
It's hard when you don't have the support of your family.0 -
Such great information! I can't wait to read more pages!0
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Hello!
I am new to MFP and this group. I had trouble with binge eating and recently gained 19 pounds of the 120 I had lost.
I am hoping to find ways to cope with Binges here.
Karen:happy:0 -
@ Karen
19 lbs isn't too bad! You can do it.
Quote I found from a website :
"Binging because you went ‘off your diet’ is like killing someone because you accidently injured them. "
Haha, so true.0
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