Do you know you are being "hit on"?
Moe4572
Posts: 1,428 Member
Some may think this is a silly question, but my coworkers tell me I am dense. I work in a construction office and we have a lot of contractors come in ........... now in their business due to machines, etc. MANY of them can't/don't wear wedding rings so that avenue of seeing if married is not valid--not that it ever occurs to me to look anyway 
Anyway, one coworker tells me I am dense, dumb and blind when guys are hitting on me, I just don't get it. And, I never think it is happening.....they tell me AFTER--I am clueless.
HELP!!!
Anyway, one coworker tells me I am dense, dumb and blind when guys are hitting on me, I just don't get it. And, I never think it is happening.....they tell me AFTER--I am clueless.
HELP!!!
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Replies
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I'm the same way most of the time unless it's completely obvious. I always assume men are just trying to be nice and/or just friends.0
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I've always been this way... You have to be rather direct for me to realize your hitting on me. Though I have gotten better. Part of my problem is I'm a very friendly person so I just asume everyone else is trying to be friendly to lol0
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In an environment like work you can only do so much to show interest without straight up talking about going out or whatev which may or may not be inappropriate. In your case, Moe, I would say eye contact from both sides can go a long way. if you feel confident, slip the guy your number on a post-it note! Also, the willingness to continue conversation beyond work related matters.0
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And FYI I have never had a problem showing someone I am interested, when I AM interested... People need to learn to be more direct instead of beating around the bush.0
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And FYI I have never had a problem showing someone I am interested, when I AM interested... People need to learn to be more direct instead of beating around the bush.
See, this is the problem, though.....even if they are thinking they are being direct, I am clueless....I am on shy side and just assume they are trying to be chatty .....0 -
I'm TOTALLY dense! I'd think they are just being friendly. :ohwell:
I'm in manufacturing and guys here are the same way, not wearing a ring!0 -
Moe, Lucky girl that you see so many guys on a daily basis. I work with all women and gay men. Since your co-workers obviously see something you don't maybe you should ask them to give you a secret signal when they think you need to get a little flirty or something?0
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Moe, Lucky girl that you see so many guys on a daily basis. I work with all women and gay men. Since your co-workers obviously see something you don't maybe you should ask them to give you a secret signal when they think you need to get a little flirty or something?
Hmm....secret signal might work...0 -
Moe, Lucky girl that you see so many guys on a daily basis. I work with all women and gay men.
The city you live in doesn't help either if you're looking for non-gay men!
I would say I am clueless but that would be overstating my ability.0 -
Completely clueless unless they're direct and straight up as for my number or ask me out (and even then I might still question whether maybe they're just super friendly). This is one of the reasons I DO like online dating- pretty obvious.
I agree that people shouldn't beat around the bush. I'm not the type to go up to a guy (unless I've been drinking) so that's not an option. I've had this type of comversation with some online dates and they said its hard meeting women nowadays.
I like the secret signal thing!!0 -
Moe, Lucky girl that you see so many guys on a daily basis. I work with all women and gay men.
The city you live in doesn't help either if you're looking for non-gay men!
Nerple, OMG so true!!! Although I do work in downtown Boston.0 -
I've never been able to easily tell when someone was hitting on me. I was even more hopeless when I was a teenager and in my early 20s. I've gotten much better at reading people since then, but some things still trip me up.0
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Unless a guy actually says "would you like to go for a drink? or 'here's my number, call me" etc, then I just think men are as friendly as I am :bigsmile:
Mind you, sometimes I kinda think there is a different eye contact/smile and a waft of chemistry............:bigsmile: But that's a fleeting feeling that might be coming from me? If it isnt followed up by him, I just think I must have got it wrong :ohwell:
I interviewed a guy once for an hour/half and my boss came and interrupted. He said that I was needed out back. I thought he was really rude and took exception as I was getting on really well with the guy. My boss took over the interview. It wasnt till the guy left that my boss told me he was chatting me up!!
So yeah, without the guy stating the obvious I think most women are clueless/modest/unassuming...........:huh:0 -
I either have no idea or never get hit on (most likely the latter).0
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Moe, Lucky girl that you see so many guys on a daily basis. I work with all women and gay men.
The city you live in doesn't help either if you're looking for non-gay men!
Nerple, OMG so true!!! Although I do work in downtown Boston.
Then there is hope yet!0 -
I'm so sadly oblivious...0
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I don't know when I am being hit on either. I just assume they are being friendly, ha ha.0
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I never know when I am being hit on. The only time I ever "knew" i was bing hit on was in college a gal came up to me in a club and said, "are you going to stare at me all night or are you going to call me some time" as she handed me her number.
Outside of that I don't think I have ever been hit on. In Real Life that is...I have been hit on online but I also flirt better online.0 -
Other than when someone has directly come up and asked for my number, I'm oblivious. I'm working on not staring at my beer bottle or the floor when I'm out so I'm paying more attention to my surroundings.
I've stopped paying attention at work though honestly. Even being flirty at work makes for an awkward environment and is often mis-interpretted as meaning more than it does, at least in my experience, so I'm staying away from that angle...I know there are a million cliches, BUT "You shouldn't get your honey where you get your money." Now if only I could remember that when the 35 year old, 6'4" hottie two aisles over walks by, haha....0 -
Ladies & Gents both... when interested but in doubt... hold up "the shocker"!0
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I am oblivious. Not as bad as I used to be but still clueless. I once had a girl undoing my pants with her teeth. I wasn't like oh hell yeah this is awesome. I was thinking, how the hell did we get here without me having a clue that she was interested.0
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I can usually tell, it's pretty easy. When they say "That shirt is very becoming on you, and if I was on you I'd be coming too," that means they're hitting on you.
If they say "Good morning" and then mention something about the weather they are likely just being friendly. But if it's something in between it's generally all about body language. If he's staring at your cleavage he wants you, if he's staring off into space he probably doesn't.0 -
I am oblivious. Not as bad as I used to be but still clueless. I once had a girl undoing my pants with her teeth. I wasn't like oh hell yeah this is awesome. I was thinking, how the hell did we get here without me having a clue that she was interested.
:laugh:
That' s pretty oblivious!!!0 -
It's in the eyes. I also look at body language.
There is a big difference between a man being "friendly" and "hitting on you." But there is also that inbetween... that flirty friendly... which is harder to read than the straight up hit. In that case, I just smile brightly and do the friendly flirt thing right back. It's like I have this button that just gets pushed when I realize a man is flirting with me... lol... and I turn into smiles and eyes...and my voice changes, too... LOL
Some people are the complete opposite, though. I have a friend who seems to think every man she talks to wants her body! LOL0 -
I'm working on not staring at my beer bottle or the floor when I'm out so I'm paying more attention to my surroundings.
Oooh me too! It's sometimes like information overload when I try to look around, but I'm getting darn sick of staring at people's feet! Plus if you stare down like that all the time, they probably just think you're crotch-gazing anyway! I really have to stop being so shy, it isn't helping my cause at all!0 -
Ladies & Gents both... when interested but in doubt... hold up "the shocker"!
What does this mean Joshua?? :laugh:0 -
I never have a clue. And when I like someone on a date I am never convinced they feel the same unless they spell it out for me. I am inept when it comes to "signs" I guess.0
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Ladies & Gents both... when interested but in doubt... hold up "the shocker"!
What does this mean Joshua?? :laugh:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7HqY9Ie74v8 0 -
I struggle too. For instance I read in a magazine that if a guy says like "oh it would be fun to do
" it means he wants f
to do that with you. One time a guy mentioned rock climbing to me and I said back "that would be fun!
If you ever wanna do it let me know." I thought he was hitting on me. Needless to say he never asked me out.0 -
Unless a guy actually says "would you like to go for a drink? or 'here's my number, call me" etc, then I just think men are as friendly as I am :bigsmile:
Me to a T. I'm really shy around guys so being hit on is over my head.0
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