I'm a moron, and I make horrible decisions
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:noway: :laugh:
So Anna mentions things growing, huge expectations & then suck it and see!!!
Anna!!!!0 -
We've all been there! I feel your pain. Last night I went out with a guy I had GREAT chemistry with online but kinda eh in reality. We got our locations mixed up so I thought he stood me up then he turned out to be shorter than me. I get stretching the truth. But he said 5'7" and was probably 5'3"!!! Still, we still talked for several hours comfortably and I let it go further than I should have... Your 2 months is nothing compared to my draught, haha! It'll work eventually right?!
I do believe that most shorter men measure their height while wearing their Prince boots. I automatically take off 2" if they are 5'9" and below.0 -
Haha, love it, Anna! I got butterflies again last night when we talked so we'll see if they're there for our second date. Admittedly I swooned a bit when he told me I was just as enjoyable in person as online...though that might be the sucking you mentioned :bigsmile: Just working to stay grounded for now and we'll see what happens!0
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Yes, there was humping. No, it wasn't good.
This is the saddest part of your story.... Time for you to ghost my friend.... It'll get better eventually
HAHAHAHAHAHAH seriously laughed out LOUD! i think the whole floor heard me on this one!0 -
It's possible those "butterflies" in your stomach will come. You are attracted to him and you guys get along. I think keeping an open mind and seeing if it works out is enough. Love isn't an engine that needs a spark to get started! lolIt’s interesting you ask that question, Anna, because it’s been on my mind all day. Obviously I was attracted enough or things wouldn’t have gone so far. However, it was lacking that butterflies in the stomach feeling I’ve had with every other relationship. None of those worked though, so I’ve been trying to decide if it might actually be a GOOD thing to not start with that.
We have a lot in common but not everything, so that’s good. He’s attractive, in good shape, and even more active than myself. Conversation could have flowed all night. He was a gentlemen yet made all the moves…
So my thoughts are back and forth between whether I’m just not attracted because I’m missing those butterflies OR if it’s a good thing not to start with “movie love” as one of my friends called it, yet enough compatibility to enjoy each other’s company and see where it goes?! Thoughts?
I’d go out with him again but we’ll see if he calls…. I figure he’s got three days. Anything more and I’m moving on, haha…
agree ^^ see him atleast once more to see what happens. My longest relatinships have started out with me thinking EWW THIS WILL NEVER WORK and then 2 yrs later - we're still together lol.
Edit to include: my last date was so perfect on paper and in person (1 date only) and he turned out to be an a hole. u just never know!0 -
We've all been there! I feel your pain. Last night I went out with a guy I had GREAT chemistry with online but kinda eh in reality. We got our locations mixed up so I thought he stood me up then he turned out to be shorter than me. I get stretching the truth. But he said 5'7" and was probably 5'3"!!! Still, we still talked for several hours comfortably and I let it go further than I should have... Your 2 months is nothing compared to my draught, haha! It'll work eventually right?!
This ^^^^^0 -
You make her sound like she is crazy. And you clearly thought there was something wrong with her, but slept with her anyway. That opens up a realm of even more crazy...
You know how girls get after sex!
Anything inconvenient or bad that happens from here on is your fault... You opened up the floodgates. Good luck, friend.
Sad but I gotta agree. Women often equate sex with emotions. Not trying to be mean just saying.0 -
Yeah, that's a pretty bad decision. You took a normal situation (bad date) and made it into an issue (had sex with her despite that). Now no matter what you do she can accuse you of leading her on and she would be completely correct. You have unnecessarily hurt a person simply because you couldn't be bothered to keep it in your pants. I don't have a problem when people have casual sex, but both people have to be on the same page (open and honest about what they want from the situation).
Let her down now, apologize, she might verbally abuse you a bit (out of pain, and rightly so) then move on. Next time you aren't interested, don't go to bone town.
To be fair, she didn't sound like a horrible person, just that she wasn't a match for YOU. It's not making sense to me that people are just assuming that she's a wackjob?0 -
Next time you aren't interested, don't go to bone town.
Totally SP sig worthy! :laugh:0 -
Yeah, that's a pretty bad decision. You took a normal situation (bad date) and made it into an issue (had sex with her despite that). Now no matter what you do she can accuse you of leading her on and she would be completely correct. You have unnecessarily hurt a person simply because you couldn't be bothered to keep it in your pants. I don't have a problem when people have casual sex, but both people have to be on the same page (open and honest about what they want from the situation).
Let her down now, apologize, she might verbally abuse you a bit (out of pain, and rightly so) then move on. Next time you aren't interested, don't go to bone town.
To be fair, she didn't sound like a horrible person, just that she wasn't a match for YOU. It's not making sense to me that people are just assuming that she's a wackjob?
Ummmm, she also had sex on a first date... she made that choice and I don't see how he hurt her?? I see 0 reason to apologize and would add that if your going to have sex with someone on the first date, you should know that your chances of a relationship will be reduced to about 0 with that person.0 -
Wait. Let me get this straight. You had sex with a girl on the FIRST date who you didn't even like? You are never going to find a quality woman when you do trashy things like that. I'm just being honest.0
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Yeah, that's a pretty bad decision. You took a normal situation (bad date) and made it into an issue (had sex with her despite that). Now no matter what you do she can accuse you of leading her on and she would be completely correct. You have unnecessarily hurt a person simply because you couldn't be bothered to keep it in your pants. I don't have a problem when people have casual sex, but both people have to be on the same page (open and honest about what they want from the situation).
Let her down now, apologize, she might verbally abuse you a bit (out of pain, and rightly so) then move on. Next time you aren't interested, don't go to bone town.
To be fair, she didn't sound like a horrible person, just that she wasn't a match for YOU. It's not making sense to me that people are just assuming that she's a wackjob?
Ummmm, she also had sex on a first date... she made that choice and I don't see how he hurt her?? I see 0 reason to apologize and would add that if your going to have sex with someone on the first date, you should know that your chances of a relationship will be reduced to about 0 with that person.
I have to agree with most of this... It take 2 people to have sex on the first date she had to know that just cause she did this doesnt mean anything.. Besides hopefully it wasnt at his house that way she doesnt know where he lives lol0 -
Yeah, that's a pretty bad decision. You took a normal situation (bad date) and made it into an issue (had sex with her despite that). Now no matter what you do she can accuse you of leading her on and she would be completely correct. You have unnecessarily hurt a person simply because you couldn't be bothered to keep it in your pants. I don't have a problem when people have casual sex, but both people have to be on the same page (open and honest about what they want from the situation).
Let her down now, apologize, she might verbally abuse you a bit (out of pain, and rightly so) then move on. Next time you aren't interested, don't go to bone town.
To be fair, she didn't sound like a horrible person, just that she wasn't a match for YOU. It's not making sense to me that people are just assuming that she's a wackjob?
Ummmm, she also had sex on a first date... she made that choice and I don't see how he hurt her?? I see 0 reason to apologize and would add that if your going to have sex with someone on the first date, you should know that your chances of a relationship will be reduced to about 0 with that person.
You're right, I made the assumption that this date was made with the expectation that things went well and the two of them hit it off there would be others in the future. Based on that assumption one would assume she is looking for a relationship. So she had sex with the presumption that he liked her and she liked him and things would progress from there. Unless he disclosed that he didn't see it working and then had sex anyway his decision was bad (frankly, his decision was bad if he was going to go ahead and regret it the next day anyway).
At the point where you assume that having sex on the first date precludes any chance of a relationship is simply your opinion. Lot's of relationships were started with having sex on the first date, and often the reason they didn't work out is because of other issues not related to sex. If that is your standard then fine, there are a lot of women that would prefer an emotional connection before making a physical one (again, this is fine, it's a choice for the individual). But I wouldn't recommend any woman waste her time on a guy that told her the desire to have sex is something to be ashamed of and that she obviously doesn't respect herself.0 -
You make her sound like she is crazy. And you clearly thought there was something wrong with her, but slept with her anyway. That opens up a realm of even more crazy...
You know how girls get after sex!
Anything inconvenient or bad that happens from here on is your fault... You opened up the floodgates. Good luck, friend.
First off I am not impressed with anything that happened down to kissing and telling but just an opinion.
This however I don`t buy either...adults of both genders are responsible for their actions and no one gets a hormonal or emotional "pass" as far as I am concerned.
As mentioned she willingly participated with no knowledge of his feelings one way or the other.
It is fair for her to be upset at being dumped or feeling duped but to suggest acting crazy is somehow acceptable is wrong too.0 -
Yeah, that's a pretty bad decision. You took a normal situation (bad date) and made it into an issue (had sex with her despite that). Now no matter what you do she can accuse you of leading her on and she would be completely correct. You have unnecessarily hurt a person simply because you couldn't be bothered to keep it in your pants. I don't have a problem when people have casual sex, but both people have to be on the same page (open and honest about what they want from the situation).
Let her down now, apologize, she might verbally abuse you a bit (out of pain, and rightly so) then move on. Next time you aren't interested, don't go to bone town.
To be fair, she didn't sound like a horrible person, just that she wasn't a match for YOU. It's not making sense to me that people are just assuming that she's a wackjob?
Ummmm, she also had sex on a first date... she made that choice and I don't see how he hurt her?? I see 0 reason to apologize and would add that if your going to have sex with someone on the first date, you should know that your chances of a relationship will be reduced to about 0 with that person.
You're right, I made the assumption that this date was made with the expectation that things went well and the two of them hit it off there would be others in the future. Based on that assumption one would assume she is looking for a relationship. So she had sex with the presumption that he liked her and she liked him and things would progress from there. Unless he disclosed that he didn't see it working and then had sex anyway his decision was bad (frankly, his decision was bad if he was going to go ahead and regret it the next day anyway).
At the point where you assume that having sex on the first date precludes any chance of a relationship is simply your opinion. Lot's of relationships were started with having sex on the first date, and often the reason they didn't work out is because of other issues not related to sex. If that is your standard then fine, there are a lot of women that would prefer an emotional connection before making a physical one (again, this is fine, it's a choice for the individual). But I wouldn't recommend any woman waste her time on a guy that told her the desire to have sex is something to be ashamed of and that she obviously doesn't respect herself.
I think your working under the assumption that someone needs to be blamed here. I think you have two adults who went on a date and ended up sleeping together....Whatever her decision was for sleeping with him, has nothing to do with him being at fault. Maybe she felt there was chemistry, that is on her not him. When dealing with other people you can only be responsible for yourself... so in his case he filled an urge and it sounds like he regrets it. For her I don't think we can define her reasons but whatever they are, they are hers to live with.
My assumption is based on the fact that I have never seen anything come of a working relationship after getting down to business on the first date... you are right though, it is possible and I'm sure it has happened many times before.0 -
Yeah, that's a pretty bad decision. You took a normal situation (bad date) and made it into an issue (had sex with her despite that). Now no matter what you do she can accuse you of leading her on and she would be completely correct. You have unnecessarily hurt a person simply because you couldn't be bothered to keep it in your pants. I don't have a problem when people have casual sex, but both people have to be on the same page (open and honest about what they want from the situation).
Let her down now, apologize, she might verbally abuse you a bit (out of pain, and rightly so) then move on. Next time you aren't interested, don't go to bone town.
To be fair, she didn't sound like a horrible person, just that she wasn't a match for YOU. It's not making sense to me that people are just assuming that she's a wackjob?
Ummmm, she also had sex on a first date... she made that choice and I don't see how he hurt her?? I see 0 reason to apologize and would add that if your going to have sex with someone on the first date, you should know that your chances of a relationship will be reduced to about 0 with that person.
You're right, I made the assumption that this date was made with the expectation that things went well and the two of them hit it off there would be others in the future. Based on that assumption one would assume she is looking for a relationship. So she had sex with the presumption that he liked her and she liked him and things would progress from there. Unless he disclosed that he didn't see it working and then had sex anyway his decision was bad (frankly, his decision was bad if he was going to go ahead and regret it the next day anyway).
At the point where you assume that having sex on the first date precludes any chance of a relationship is simply your opinion. Lot's of relationships were started with having sex on the first date, and often the reason they didn't work out is because of other issues not related to sex. If that is your standard then fine, there are a lot of women that would prefer an emotional connection before making a physical one (again, this is fine, it's a choice for the individual). But I wouldn't recommend any woman waste her time on a guy that told her the desire to have sex is something to be ashamed of and that she obviously doesn't respect herself.
I think your working under the assumption that someone needs to be blamed here. I think you have two adults who went on a date and ended up sleeping together....Whatever her decision was for sleeping with him, has nothing to do with him being at fault. Maybe she felt there was chemistry, that is on her not him. When dealing with other people you can only be responsible for yourself... so in his case he filled an urge and it sounds like he regrets it. For her I don't think we can define her reasons but whatever they are, they are hers to live with.
My assumption is based on the fact that I have never seen anything come of a working relationship after getting down to business on the first date... you are right though, it is possible and I'm sure it has happened many times before.
There is absolutely blame. What he did was dishonest unless he told her straight up that he didn't see anything coming from it. You go on a date with someone that you're really clicking with, so yes her mistake is that she didn't clarify whether or not things were going well, but the fact remains that he knew it wasn't going well and took advantage of her willingness anyway. She's not blameless or any less of an adult, but morally speaking he is far more in the wrong. ESPECIALLY considering that he's coming online and whinging about making bad decisions while speaking poorly of her and expecting some sort of sympathy? Yes, she has to live with her decision to have sex with him. If she was on here talking about why this guy had sex with her then dumped her and she had no clue I'd be telling her as much. In no way does that absolve him of taking emotional advantage of her and since it's his perspective I'm addressing that's the focus of my comments.0 -
You make her sound like she is crazy. And you clearly thought there was something wrong with her, but slept with her anyway. That opens up a realm of even more crazy...
You know how girls get after sex!
Anything inconvenient or bad that happens from here on is your fault... You opened up the floodgates. Good luck, friend.
First off I am not impressed with anything that happened down to kissing and telling but just an opinion.
This however I don`t buy either...adults of both genders are responsible for their actions and no one gets a hormonal or emotional "pass" as far as I am concerned.
As mentioned she willingly participated with no knowledge of his feelings one way or the other.
It is fair for her to be upset at being dumped or feeling duped but to suggest acting crazy is somehow acceptable is wrong too.
I disagree with the bolded statement. I agree she has no right to go bat**** insane and that she has a right to feel wronged. The fact is they had been talking for some time and they clicked, which probably is what gave her the idea that things were going well. They went on a date and then with no indication that things had changed she went ahead with having sex with him. While irresponsible on her part it's not like they had just started talking that that night. I don't think her possibly believing things could progress was baseless.0 -
Sorry, double post0
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You make her sound like she is crazy. And you clearly thought there was something wrong with her, but slept with her anyway. That opens up a realm of even more crazy...
You know how girls get after sex!
Anything inconvenient or bad that happens from here on is your fault... You opened up the floodgates. Good luck, friend.
First off I am not impressed with anything that happened down to kissing and telling but just an opinion.
This however I don`t buy either...adults of both genders are responsible for their actions and no one gets a hormonal or emotional "pass" as far as I am concerned.
As mentioned she willingly participated with no knowledge of his feelings one way or the other.
It is fair for her to be upset at being dumped or feeling duped but to suggest acting crazy is somehow acceptable is wrong too.
Blah blah blah, all men are wrong, and women are always the victims (figured I'd shorten your post to be more concise).
Just to give you a little more insight (since you are big on jumping on all the men on the site, especially me for some reason because of how horrible we are), I mentioned at least 2 of her "deal breakers" at dinner, we had only been talking a couple of days before we met, she was a completely different person during dinner than she was texting and I told her that, I also mentioned on more than one occasion that I didn't think anything long term would come of us because we were in such different places. As we were leaving the restaurant AFTER I said all these things she grabbed my hand and said she still wanted to hang out.
Maybe your blame is in the wrong place, maybe she felt that if she slept with me she would change my mind about things, maybe she just wanted to get some.
Nah, of course not, you can't be wrong, it's always the men who are doing the wrong things to women... you really need to understand not all men are like the men you've been with who did these things, that you project onto other women, to you.
***EDIT***
The only reason I have a regret for doing this is because I wasn't true to myself, I promised myself I was going to make myself wait longer because I want something more serious than a roll in the hay, unfortunately, I wasn't able to control my urges, and I'm unhappy with me because of that.0 -
The only reason I have a regret for doing this is because I wasn't true to myself, I promised myself I was going to make myself wait longer because I want something more serious than a roll in the hay, unfortunately, I wasn't able to control my urges, and I'm unhappy with me because of that.
Just my 2 cents - I have to admit I atleast respect you for admitting this and saying u are trying to wait for something more serious.
I'll give you that much
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