why are you single?

nolachick

ok so since this is the single peeps thread, and since some ppl claim its a battle of the sexes on here, and a lot of other threads are about who said what, who texted whom and what that means, and everyone trying to decipher the actions or words of the opposite sex....its time to look inside and be honest about why you think you're single?

I am going to be the first to admit that I like to be in a relationship, i don't like the dating games, so if I usually don't let dates go past the first or second if I don't see a future with someone. So I guess I'm single by choice. Some people say I'm too picky, I think I'm just being smart and taking my time to choose someone I'm truly compatible with and not just giving in to any guy that looks my way. I am willing to compromise of course, but there are some deal breakers like marriage, kids, family values, etc, etc that I am looking for so don't think I'm being a snob.

this is not meant for anyone to criticize anyone about why they're single, just curious to what other people think when its time to stop pointing fingers and look inside....

yoovie

Because Im not hooking myself up permanently to anyone until Im so solid in my sense of self that I can guarantee that I can have their back no matter what life throws at us.
Because I wont settle for anything less than dream team status.
Because I am so dedicated to making my life amazing and thrilling and satisfying, that I am ok with having a single with benefits status.
Because Papa told me that if I want a man who is healthy and active and amazing and smart and funny and adventurous and brave and hard working and dedicated and strong... then I better be all of those things too - so he doesnt get the short end of the stick in our relationship.
Because loving myself is new and I want to make sure I am with someone that is equally protective of their own needs.
Because I can be single and happy and in love all at the same time.

Because Im patient as frak and in no rush to be at some destination on a certain timeline.

MaraDiaz

I stopped looking. Contrary to popular belief, that does not cause Mr. Right to ride up on his white horse.

toots99

I honestly have no idea why I am single, aside from refusing to settle for less than what I deserve. I am super fun, I'm nice and considerate, I smell amazing, I have a crazy sense of humor, I like doing nice things for people, and I put out. :laugh:

I think maybe my strong personality might scare some people off. I have a pretty quick wit, and I'm very sarcastic (but not in a mean way), and I think a lot of people (not just guys), might be put off by that. I like a challenge, and if you challenge me I'll give it right back to you. And that's also something that people can't handle.

disneywm76

I am going to be the first to admit that I like to be in a relationship, i don't like the dating games, so if I usually don't let dates go past the first or second if I don't see a future with someone. So I guess I'm single by choice. Some people say I'm too picky, I think I'm just being smart and taking my time to choose someone I'm truly compatible with and not just giving in to any guy that looks my way. I am willing to compromise of course, but there are some deal breakers like marriage, kids, family values, etc, etc that I am looking for so don't think I'm being a snob.

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Because I wont settle for anything less than dream team status.
[/quote]

Both of these. But also because I have two young kids that depend on me and I have to think of them first. I want someone to share my life with, but refuse to "settle" just to have someone. I deserve to be happy and be treated like a treasure. I will not accept anything less.

Carl01

Most people know the backstory so not going into all that here.

For today it is because I am still living in a run down old farmhouse on 115 acres that I hope next week to have in my name finally so I can try to sell it.
I hate the NY cold/expense and want to get the heck out to warmer climates.
No point in trying to enter into something with that being the case.

r1ghtpath

Most people know the backstory so not going into all that here.

For today it is because I am still living in a run down old farmhouse on 115 acres that I hope next week to have in my name finally so I can try to sell it.
I hate the NY cold/expense and want to get the heck out to warmer climates.
No point in trying to enter into something with that being the case.

if you're farmhouse wasn't in NY i'd move in with you :-)
then you wouldn't be single anymore and i would have the farm i want!!!

WIN WIN

Ihiso7

Cuz I like it!

Roadie2000

Most people bug the crap out of me.
The people I'm really into usually don't like me back, I think I get too nice and turn them off somehow.
I don't mind being alone, I'm very picky, and I never settle.

WickedBean

Because I stopped dating to help my brother get his life on track... Which meant him going back to school and helping him with his daughter.. So I spent many nights babysitting while he studied that I didn't have a chance to really date for 5 years. And now that I am back on my own i have decided to really look inward and see what I really want on life.

I am not actively looking right now but if an oppertunity arose to date someone I wouldn't turn it down.

Carl01

Most people know the backstory so not going into all that here.

For today it is because I am still living in a run down old farmhouse on 115 acres that I hope next week to have in my name finally so I can try to sell it.
I hate the NY cold/expense and want to get the heck out to warmer climates.
No point in trying to enter into something with that being the case.

if you're farmhouse wasn't in NY i'd move in with you :-)
then you wouldn't be single anymore and i would have the farm i want!!!

WIN WIN

Find me a farm where it is warm.

WIN WIN WIN

Natx83

Because Im not hooking myself up permanently to anyone until Im so solid in my sense of self that I can guarantee that I can have their back no matter what life throws at us.
Because I wont settle for anything less than dream team status.
Because I am so dedicated to making my life amazing and thrilling and satisfying, that I am ok with having a single with benefits status.
Because Papa told me that if I want a man who is healthy and active and amazing and smart and funny and adventurous and brave and hard working and dedicated and strong... then I better be all of those things too - so he doesnt get the short end of the stick in our relationship.
Because loving myself is new and I want to make sure I am with someone that is equally protective of their own needs.
Because I can be single and happy and in love all at the same time.

Because Im patient as frak and in no rush to be at some destination on a certain timeline.

This is cool as f&$k!

People are still single cause I think it comes down to timing, people mention one true love and stuff, which is true to an extent cause when you find that person it will feel exactly that. But there are prob a bunch people that could be "the one" but if the timing is wrong there's prob not a whole lot you can do about it.

Nerple

The full list would probably be like 10 pages long...

But the highlights include:
- Not Direct/Forward
- Confidence Issues
- Constantly travelling / Never around
- And didnt think this one was as big of a deal until I joined this site, but short as all hell.

The_Iron

Cuz my ex and baby mama was a crazy @ss psychopath. :laugh:

But now, cuz I wanna be. No rush in linking up to someone. I'll take my own sweet time on that.

pa_jorg

Because I only started dating again in 2012 after something long term. I'm still just trying to figure out what I want on my own, how to be single, and now how to date and who's out there.

christine24t

Because a guy has never liked me in the same way I've liked him.

Meatsies

'Cause I'm newly single, fresh out of a marriage with a guy who wasn't really into women so much. Go figure.
So, I'm looking. Not because I need to be hooked up with someone - anyone.
More because I'm convinced that my Wonder Twin exists out there somewhere, and the more I've got my eyes open, the more likely I am to spot him.

Wonder Twin powers activate! FORM OF...toe-curling, spine-tingling, mind-blowing bad-assery!

Moyzilla

I've never felt like making meeting someone a priority.

In my profession, I work with almost exclusively females. As I've gotten older it's been harder for me to meet new people.

I'm really good at being the friend.

I'm tall (which is a good thing) but gaining a crap ton of weight certainly didn't help.

Forgot to add: I'm pretty cool with being on my own!

castadiva

I stopped looking. Contrary to popular belief, that does not cause Mr. Right to ride up on his white horse.

If there's one platitude I loathe more than any other, it's that one!

Too many 'too's', I think - some of my own making, some from others. Too fat always feels like one of them, though I've never been really big - just larger than most of my classmates/friends/colleagues. Too intelligent. Too independent. Too competent. Too opinionated. Too quick to see the ridiculous in things. Someone (a female friend) referred to me as "formidable" the other day, to my despair. Contrary to the impression, too shy, too likely to hang back until it's too late with someone I find attractive, too oblivious to attention that's more than friendly. Too dreamy/unrealistic. Too ambitious, works too much (3 jobs!). Nowadays, too inexperienced at too old an age.

Too everything, I sometimes feel.

SouthernSweetie74

Most people know the backstory so not going into all that here.

For today it is because I am still living in a run down old farmhouse on 115 acres that I hope next week to have in my name finally so I can try to sell it.
I hate the NY cold/expense and want to get the heck out to warmer climates.
No point in trying to enter into something with that being the case.

We have warmer climates down here!

jenbit

Well after 2 relationships that took the majority of my adult life(11) I took 1 yr to just be single and have fun and flirt. I'm comfortable being me and not willing to settle this time.I got out with guys I flirt .I recently ended things with 1 FWB and now I'm looking to maybe start dating this one guy.. But I'm blunt loud and loyal....

When I find the guy who holds my attention and I hold theirs then I wont be single anymore lol

SouthernSweetie74

I'm single because:

*I just recently became single in May.

*I am picky, and I refuse to settle. Again.



I am not a dater either really. I'm a relationship type person and do not even make it to a first date if I don't feel the vibes. First dates usually turn into second and third dates for me, but after that, if I don't see a future, I'm out.

Going4Lean

A few reasons

I find it hard to let people in emotionally.
I have trust issues.
I don't meet anyone, because i never go out.
I have no gaydar, so i never try to talk to guys in fear they might get offended plus the whole rejection thing.

There could possibly be more reasons.

jesusHchris

I've spent years working on improving myself to the point of feeling like I can be a part of a healthy relationship. Finally, I love where I am at in life and mostly feel comfortable in my own skin. I am heavily invested in my career, which takes up a lot of my time, and I honestly don't really meet new people that often.

My standards have risen, also - mostly around wanting someone who is not a crazy-a** b****. Bummer.

So where is the drop-dead gorgeous international model from Russia with two PhDs who loves dogs and can knock a mofo out with a left hook?

Edit: [single for over 5 years!]

Darkskinned88

Dating is great, new people new experiences, all your stories and moves are new lol

DavetheHYNIC

Cause the judge.said "this divorce is granted". Such sweet words!

Ihiso7

Cause the judge.said "this divorce is granted". Such sweet words!

Agreed! Such sweet sweet words!

porcelain_doll

I stopped looking. Contrary to popular belief, that does not cause Mr. Right to ride up on his white horse.

LOL, same here!

Katefab26

Because I want to love myself completely and be a catch for him too. It is a partnership, after all. I want us as a couple to be able to run the freaking world on sheer awesomeness :-)

mznisaelaine

I'm not into the dating aspect so it seems to never go anywhere

And

I seriously believe for whatever reason I am not approachable. If a guy tries to talk to me, it's always the usual perv talk, staring at me, bluntly saying disrespectful comments about how I look, etc. I have never been approached by a guy who has the decency to at least say "Hello, how are you?" followed by a decent conversation before asking me out for coffee/tea/dinner or something.

And

I think Im jinxed...

skinnybearlyndsay

This is something that I've thought over for a long time. I used to blame everyone else...the "guys don't accept me" and "I'm not pretty" mumbo jumbo that we've all thought at one time or another. Then I realized that, aside from some issues with an ex, I really was not comfortable in my own skin. And I think that came across when I would meet guys. It took me a good 7 years to accept that and build myself back up from all the years I tore myself down. I dipped my toes back in the water last year and realized I wasn't quite ready to be in a relationship. I'm still getting over the "unknown" factors, but I'm dealing with them as they come up.