why are you single?
Replies
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apparently i am too demanding and opinionated lol. i think its hilarious that this guy i was seeing cannot deal with the fact that i have brains and an opinion. oh well his loss.
I was just told this last week! I was blown away. Guess they want the submissive type. That's certainly not me. I go after what I want in life and have no interest or patience for playing games.
exactly!
dont get me wrong i will let a man be a man. ilike a man who wants to take care of his woman and take the lead and well be a man. i do not like someone who is demanding and expects me not to ever have an opinion or say in things.
its all about balance amd compromise to me0 -
apparently i am too demanding and opinionated lol. i think its hilarious that this guy i was seeing cannot deal with the fact that i have brains and an opinion. oh well his loss.
I was just told this last week! I was blown away. Guess they want the submissive type. That's certainly not me. I go after what I want in life and have no interest or patience for playing games.
exactly!
dont get me wrong i will let a man be a man. ilike a man who wants to take care of his woman and take the lead and well be a man. i do not like someone who is demanding and expects me not to ever have an opinion or say in things.
its all about balance amd compromise to me
Same here. Your post got me thinking so I just started a topic on what's considered cheating. I've noticed a pattern the past few years with married guys that cheat. They all have trophy wives & have "conditioned" them. Then they go out looking for "real" women and try to live 2 lives. They're just never satisfied. They don't know what they want. We come across as intimidating b/c we do know what we want and we won't compromise our standards. Guys like this don't like to hear the truth, married or not. They're insecure with themselves.0 -
Why am I single?
Lord I'd like to know.
I spent way too long (8 years) with my ex husband, he cheated more times than I know about, and would rarely bring home his paycheck to support the home which included his two little girls. He didn't like the concept that his money was going towards rent, food, utilities, etc. He wanted to spend it on toys, and hookers.
Shortly after I divorced him, I met a guy that I've built an unbelievable friendship with... however he has a sexual addiction, and unfortunately his demons have gotten the better end of him. He is completely unhappy, with every aspect of his life, as I understand most people with an addiction are. He chose to blame me. So we are no longer together. I'd love to work as a team to help him fight those demons... but he chooses to give in to them, and chase other women. He said he never felt "proud" of me.
I haven't quite gotten over him, we had a good 3 year run.
Life moves on, and I'm curious why God is testing the *kitten* out of me. I feel like I'm a good person, I've gone through many days of therapy to get myself back into check, I still believe and practice unconditional love, I give until I have nothing left to give. I make a really ****ty girlfriend but an awesome wife and mother. I allow the guy to be a guy, I'm ok with time apart, I am a Cancer, so I'm emotional at times, but I usually have my stuff together.
Maybe it's not God punishing me but it sure feels like it. I did what I could to salvage my marriage, and I put alot of effort into not only building our relationship with my ex bf, but I put alot of effort into him as a man. Building him up, and praising him as he succeeded.
Therefore it leaves me to ask what have I done wrong, and what have I done to deserve this solitude, the Lord knows I am a social butterfly. But I want to feel loved and cared for by someone other than myself.
Its hard to find people to relate to me, so I hope I find a few in here. That would be nice.0 -
As a single mom, I spent most of the last 19 years raising my son, working and just trying to survive. But in more recent years, I'm taking the time to figure things out for myself and be a better me. A work in progress...
But in that process I have figured out that my past issues with dating were directly related to how I viewed myself and what I felt I was deserving of (or not deserving of as the case may be). While I have some funny stories, I've never really done well in that part of my life so I keep a sense of humor about it and focus on more positive things.
Am in a MUCH better place now physically and mentally than I have ever been, am happy with my life and open to whatever the future holds. Cool thing is that whether I'm single or end up with a partner, I know that I'm A-OK!0 -
Why am I single?
Lord I'd like to know.
I spent way too long (8 years) with my ex husband, he cheated more times than I know about, and would rarely bring home his paycheck to support the home which included his two little girls. He didn't like the concept that his money was going towards rent, food, utilities, etc. He wanted to spend it on toys, and hookers.
Shortly after I divorced him, I met a guy that I've built an unbelievable friendship with... however he has a sexual addiction, and unfortunately his demons have gotten the better end of him. He is completely unhappy, with every aspect of his life, as I understand most people with an addiction are. He chose to blame me. So we are no longer together. I'd love to work as a team to help him fight those demons... but he chooses to give in to them, and chase other women. He said he never felt "proud" of me.
I haven't quite gotten over him, we had a good 3 year run.
Life moves on, and I'm curious why God is testing the *kitten* out of me. I feel like I'm a good person, I've gone through many days of therapy to get myself back into check, I still believe and practice unconditional love, I give until I have nothing left to give. I make a really ****ty girlfriend but an awesome wife and mother. I allow the guy to be a guy, I'm ok with time apart, I am a Cancer, so I'm emotional at times, but I usually have my stuff together.
Maybe it's not God punishing me but it sure feels like it. I did what I could to salvage my marriage, and I put alot of effort into not only building our relationship with my ex bf, but I put alot of effort into him as a man. Building him up, and praising him as he succeeded.
Therefore it leaves me to ask what have I done wrong, and what have I done to deserve this solitude, the Lord knows I am a social butterfly. But I want to feel loved and cared for by someone other than myself.
Its hard to find people to relate to me, so I hope I find a few in here. That would be nice.
oh boy I can definitely relate! i'm a cancer too!
we love hard, we give everything, we care way too much about other people! that sounds bad but its tru! i've never been married but i've been in two long term relationships 6yrs and 4 yrs, and I was very much in love. and each time I asked myself what I did wrong even though I tried so hard to make him happy. I too questioned why this was happening to me but you know what, sometimes its just not meant to be. and sometimes love is just not enough to hold two people together, as much as the emotional cancer likes to believe.
I'm not saying I'm perfect but once I realized I tried everything I could, and I gave it my all, and it still didn't work, then I had to stop blaming myself and find comfort in believing that maybe I simply have not met the person I was meant to be with. And that's ok with me.
So please don't blame yourself for those unhealthy relationships not working out. Be happy that you were smart enough to get out of them and now things can only get better for you! you can only find someone better who will love u and care about u! u've already weeded out 2 people that were toxic for you and for your kids. Wouldn't you rather meet someone who's a good example for them? I know you rather have that person now but nothing happens when we want it to, a lot of things happen when we least expect it!
Keep being u and doing ur thing, the right guy will come along :flowerforyou:0 -
Because I'm a f-ing idiot.
I think I have that same problem.![:\](https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/resources/emoji/confused.png ":\")
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I was a single for a majority of my life 'cause I was fat and ugly and only managed to make women flee. Then I lost a lot of weight, got fit, became mildly attractive.. from that point on I guess it was mainly my lack of social contact and shyness. Then again, I'm not single anymore so what am I still doing here... ? Ah well.0
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Because I wasn't willing to settle
Because I have no patience for bull****
Because I haven't found the right guy
Because I typically enjoy my own company more than other peoples
Because I'm overly independent and kinda stubborn
Because I have no filter - if I'm thinking it, more than likely I'm gonna say it0 -
Because I wasn't willing to settle
Because I have no patience for bull****
Because I haven't found the right guy
Because I typically enjoy my own company more than other peoples
Because I'm overly independent and kinda stubborn
Because I have no filter - if I'm thinking it, more than likely I'm gonna say it
Add to that, I've been single for a while now and adjusting to having someone else in my life complicates things. Even though it's something I want, I don't exactly embrace change easily. Kind of makes it tough.0 -
I'm single, because I am insecure. I've only found one person who told me I was beautiful and liked me for me. Other than that all I ever find are guys who think I should feel honored that they talk to me and I should sleep with them.0
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Because I'm selfish, and I don't want to make someone feel unappreciated. I think everyone deserves someone who will treat them like a prince/princess, and I don't think I have it in me. It also doesn't help that I don't go out looking for dates or anything like that. Never have.0
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I'm single, because I am insecure. I've only found one person who told me I was beautiful and liked me for me. Other than that all I ever find are guys who think I should feel honored that they talk to me and I should sleep with them.
you are beautiful! don't let anyone tell you differently. and don't depend on anyone else for validation!
Because I'm selfish, and I don't want to make someone feel unappreciated. I think everyone deserves someone who will treat them like a prince/princess, and I don't think I have it in me. It also doesn't help that I don't go out looking for dates or anything like that. Never have.
atleast u can admit it and keep from messing up someone else's feelings. have to respect that. on the other hand thats unfortunate because sharing special moments with a special person is amazing.0 -
As my taste in men is shocking-always seem to go for bad boys,who end up hurting me. I used to be a confident person,who never took any crap from anyone,least of all a man,but then,my marriage ended in 2007 & although im the one who ended it,it completely knocked my confidence & there started a bit of a downward spiral. Ended up in a relationship with someone who knocked my confidence/self-esteem even further down,made me change my appearance & gain weight & also cut me off from friends/family-only i couldnt see it. I finally did & now have a restraining order on said person due to him stalking me after we split.
The weight id gained,came off very quickly & since then i have lost even more & although my confidence is higher than it was,i still dont seem to be able to attract anyone,except these bad boy types. Id love nothing more than to be settled & in a relationship,but men only seem to be interested in one thing & i want more than that. So,looks like it the single life for me,forever lol0 -
I have no doubt about that. Maybe one day I'll meet someone who makes me want to stop everything for them. Until then I've got a cat that tries to kill me on a regular basis.atleast u can admit it and keep from messing up someone else's feelings. have to respect that. on the other hand thats unfortunate because sharing special moments with a special person is amazing.0 -
I have an afternoon date today, so perhaps I should think about why I am single and try not to do things that turn guys off for the next like 6 hours.
Why I am single:
1. I swear I never learned how to date like a normal person. I went to a high school with no dating (and I was a freak there) and then to a college where hooking up was the norm. I got my first real boyfriend, that lasted 3 months, at 24.
2. I fell for the wrong guys who either didn't like me or didn't want relationships Over and Over and Over.
3. I got incredibly fat. 5'10, 275 is a BIG GIRL.
4. I get involved in relationships on the guys' terms, not mine.
5. I still fall for immature guys who aren't ready to date/marry me. I do things like this: I met a guy, was crazy about him, dated him for a year. We broke up, kept hooking up, eventually got back together, dated another year, broke up again, kept hooking up, and now finally I have moved away. We still talk on the phone too much and maybe he'll fly here for my birthday. I have trouble being brave, letting things go, and having faith that I will meet someone else. When I meet someone I am not brave and completely myself. I cannot have faith that when I say I have these needs, that the other person will meet them and meet them without nagging/fighting constantly.
So today, when this guy and I go to the park, I have to be nice, myself, and try really really hard not to talk too much and make stupid jokes constantly. I'm really excited he wanted to see me again (successful OKCupid meetup! AMAZING!) so I must be awesome.0 -
I'm single, because I am insecure. I've only found one person who told me I was beautiful and liked me for me. Other than that all I ever find are guys who think I should feel honored that they talk to me and I should sleep with them.
Oh, sweetie... I feel your pain. When I was younger, I was very insecure. I married the first man who didn't try to jump my bones the first day we met, who told me I was beautiful, and who didn't treat me like a piece of meat. Although I loved him very much and got three awesome kids out of the deal, I would never have married him had I been secure about myself. Too many problems and too much drama to get into here. And although he told me I was beautiful, he also told me I was stupid... and that no other man would ever love me... keeping me down and insecure, making me feel lucky just to have him love me...
I've grown and learned through the years. But I would hate to see anyone else have to go through the struggles I did. You need to love yourself, believe in yourself first. When you do, and you radiate that confidence, men will automatically be attracted to you. NO, you do not need to lower yourself to sleep with the guys who are just after sex. YES, you need to realize that you are a beautiful human being with gifts and talents and strengths. Embrace those. Accept your flaws. Change the things that can be changed, improve yourself where you can. But LOVE yourself for who you are, flaws and all.
And stay single until you are love yourself so much that you won't settle for anything less than the best for you. I'm not saying that you have to be overly picky... but you do need to be picky.
Remember... you are awesome. You are beautiful.0 -
I have an afternoon date today, so perhaps I should think about why I am single and try not to do things that turn guys off for the next like 6 hours.
Why I am single:
1. I swear I never learned how to date like a normal person. I went to a high school with no dating (and I was a freak there) and then to a college where hooking up was the norm. I got my first real boyfriend, that lasted 3 months, at 24.
2. I fell for the wrong guys who either didn't like me or didn't want relationships Over and Over and Over.
3. I got incredibly fat. 5'10, 275 is a BIG GIRL.
4. I get involved in relationships on the guys' terms, not mine.
5. I still fall for immature guys who aren't ready to date/marry me. I do things like this: I met a guy, was crazy about him, dated him for a year. We broke up, kept hooking up, eventually got back together, dated another year, broke up again, kept hooking up, and now finally I have moved away. We still talk on the phone too much and maybe he'll fly here for my birthday. I have trouble being brave, letting things go, and having faith that I will meet someone else. When I meet someone I am not brave and completely myself. I cannot have faith that when I say I have these needs, that the other person will meet them and meet them without nagging/fighting constantly.
So today, when this guy and I go to the park, I have to be nice, myself, and try really really hard not to talk too much and make stupid jokes constantly. I'm really excited he wanted to see me again (successful OKCupid meetup! AMAZING!) so I must be awesome.
Reflection is great! You've taken the first steps, and I think that's awesome. When we realize what we've done to contiribute to our circumstances, that is the first step to changing our circumstances. Owning our choices, owning our mistakes. Good for you. And congratulations on your date!!!! Have fun!!!0 -
I have no idea 0
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\I'm single, because I am insecure. I've only found one person who told me I was beautiful and liked me for me. Other than that all I ever find are guys who think I should feel honored that they talk to me and I should sleep with them.
Oh, sweetie... I feel your pain. When I was younger, I was very insecure. I married the first man who didn't try to jump my bones the first day we met, who told me I was beautiful, and who didn't treat me like a piece of meat. Although I loved him very much and got three awesome kids out of the deal, I would never have married him had I been secure about myself. Too many problems and too much drama to get into here. And although he told me I was beautiful, he also told me I was stupid... and that no other man would ever love me... keeping me down and insecure, making me feel lucky just to have him love me...
I've grown and learned through the years. But I would hate to see anyone else have to go through the struggles I did. You need to love yourself, believe in yourself first. When you do, and you radiate that confidence, men will automatically be attracted to you. NO, you do not need to lower yourself to sleep with the guys who are just after sex. YES, you need to realize that you are a beautiful human being with gifts and talents and strengths. Embrace those. Accept your flaws. Change the things that can be changed, improve yourself where you can. But LOVE yourself for who you are, flaws and all.
And stay single until you are love yourself so much that you won't settle for anything less than the best for you. I'm not saying that you have to be overly picky... but you do need to be picky.
Remember... you are awesome. You are beautiful.
well said!0
