how do you win?

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  • TheKitsune6
    TheKitsune6 Posts: 5,798 Member
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    I kind of feel like I just got transported to Little House on the Prairie or something. Who fracking cares what some random guy thinks about your reputation?

    Because then her parents would have to increase her dowry or she'll end up an unmarried spinster! Haven't you read/seen Pride and Prejudice?! D:
  • toots99
    toots99 Posts: 3,794 Member
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    No, you're definitely right in over thinking this one. If I had a dollar for every girl who let me dance with them right before I kicked them to the curb, I would have like $17. That's a lot of dollars and a lot of girls who made a bad impression.

    What you should have done is thrown your drink in his face. Not with your left hand, though, or he might assume you were a homosexual and using him to help win votes in the heterosexual community. I am assuming you are running for office.

    Also, it should probably be a dark beverage. If you threw something milky or clear, he would assume you are a racist and invite you to his next Klan meeting. If you went to the meeting, of course, he would assume your were too easy and also dump you.

    Don't refill your next drink with the same order, though. This of course gives the impression that you are an alcoholic and your body has adjusted to a very specific alcohol intake.

    I would have thought this to be common knowledge.

    :laugh: :laugh:
  • flimflamfloz
    flimflamfloz Posts: 1,980 Member
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    it makes me seem easy like I'll dance with any random guy I meet at the bar, and that I might not be great dating material.
    Well here is what you should have thought:
    - I want to dance, so I do it,
    - If this guy doesn't like it then he might not be great dating/boyfriend material for me.

    If you start thinking like that for things as simple as dancing, you're going end up supporting some alcohol-imbued leech who beats the crap out of you when he comes back from the pub where he spent your money after another day during which he didn't look for a job at all.

    We are not talking about you doing something unacceptable here, but: some men don't mind if their girlfriend dance around, some do. Girlfriend which you are not even if I understand properly.
    Personally, I always do what I want about everything and the girls either like it or don't, either way I don't care. But then they end up liking me because I'm true to myself anyway.
    The only moment when it becomes "fair" to adjust is when there is some sort of relationship going. Definitely not at the "dating/dancing" stage (unless you've been seeing that guy for 2-3 months in which case maybe ask what he thinks yes).

    Last but not least, the guy clearly invited you to dance, so, surely, he wants you to dance.
  • JanieJack
    JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
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    I kind of feel like I just got transported to Little House on the Prairie or something. Who fracking cares what some random guy thinks about your reputation?

    Wow guys... we all know Christine doesn't have much experience with guys. I don't think deriding her is gonna help her let go of her inhibitions (not saying I agree she should let go of all of them).

    Sometimes I think if more women worried about what some random guy thinks about their reputation, we'd have many less "I slept with him on the first date and now he poofed" convos
  • Katefab26
    Katefab26 Posts: 865
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    I kind of feel like I just got transported to Little House on the Prairie or something. Who fracking cares what some random guy thinks about your reputation?

    Wow guys... we all know Christine doesn't have much experience with guys. I don't think deriding her is gonna help her let go of her inhibitions (not saying I agree she should let go of all of them).

    Sometimes I think if more women worried about what some random guy thinks about their reputation, we'd have many less "I slept with him on the first date and now he poofed" convos

    You are right, Janie. My comment was rude and unnecessary. To Christine, I apologize profusely, it won't happen again.

    I don't agree, however, that one should worry about what some random guy thinks of her reputation. As far as I'm concerned, that type of thing is my own responsibility. I would never encourage Christine (or another girl equally as inexperienced) to go out and just sleep with some random guy -- that's what happened to me at the age of 24 when I got so utterly sick of being a virgin that I just gave in, something I still regret, because it was a truly awful experience -- but it does bother me to see such a bright, attractive young woman with so much going for her to constantly sabotage her own dating experience with such low self esteem.

    You know why? Because that was me at her age. I told myself all the time that I was doing everything right -- smiling, going out and having a good time, never realizing that I over-analyzed every single encounter with any attractive guy until I subconsciously pushed him away -- left wondering what the hell happened and finally just turning inward on myself and saying it was because I overweight/not attractive enough. I just don't want that for her. It's simply not true, and I want her to realize it before she's 27 and still trying to have a meaningful relationship while working extremely hard to get over her insecurities that still pop to the front of her mind every time a great guy leans in to kiss her or tells her she's beautiful.

    Just my 2 cents. :flowerforyou:
  • JanieJack
    JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
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    Wow guys... we all know Christine doesn't have much experience with guys. I don't think deriding her is gonna help her let go of her inhibitions (not saying I agree she should let go of all of them).

    Sometimes I think if more women worried about what some random guy thinks about their reputation, we'd have many less "I slept with him on the first date and now he poofed" convos

    You are right, Janie. My comment was rude and unnecessary. To Christine, I apologize profusely, it won't happen again.

    I don't agree, however, that one should worry about what some random guy thinks of her reputation. As far as I'm concerned, that type of thing is my own responsibility. I would never encourage Christine (or another girl equally as inexperienced) to go out and just sleep with some random guy -- that's what happened to me at the age of 24 when I got so utterly sick of being a virgin that I just gave in, something I still regret, because it was a truly awful experience -- but it does bother me to see such a bright, attractive young woman with so much going for her to constantly sabotage her own dating experience with such low self esteem.

    I probably overreacted honestly. I read it not as "just dancing" but dancing provocatively with this guy. To me that's two different things.

    As a little goody-two shoes I never really danced in high school. I then went to a military college where most forms of entertainment were banned our freshmen year. After about two months in, they let us have a dance. I practiced and practiced secretly and was pleasantly surprised I was able to "move right' and all the guys wanted to dance provocatively with me.

    Which gave me slut reputation I never lived down all 4 years I attended that school, despite the fact that I never did anything like that before or since while I was there. People I meet in the military STILL remember that reputation, and joke about how they know how *I* got promoted wink wink.

    So, yeah, when I see people tell a young girl not to care what people think of her I get a little riled up.
  • JanieJack
    JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
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    I over-analyzed every single encounter with any attractive guy until I subconsciously pushed him away
    ...
    saying it was because I overweight/not attractive enough. I just don't want that for her. It's simply not true, and I want her to realize it before she's 27 and still trying to have a meaningful relationship while working extremely hard to get over her insecurities that still pop to the front of her mind every time a great guy leans in to kiss her or tells her she's beautiful.

    Good point!