Are men less manly?
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No, I think men today are more manly. They cry and express their fears and anger and arent afraid of having a discussion about being manly!!
Men of yesteryear used to beat their wives and children and hide behind a pint of beer because they were emotionally suppressed! That's just cowardly!!
They could fix things because they weren't expected to go to school and get an education, they were expected to go out to their manual job and put food on the table.
Amen for progression! :flowerforyou:
I think the points raised about emotional expression and education are very interesting and fairly accurate. However, the generalization that most men used to beat their wives, and fewer do today, is not valid.
Well, lets just say 100 years ago it was an acceptable norm, but today domestic violence is an imprison-able offence.
Sorry to generalise, that's not my intent. My point was just about emotional expression being more acceptable these days :flowerforyou:
Yes, that makes sense.
Actually, the starting point of anger management (and domestic violence prevention) is often to help people learn the skills to recognise and express their emotions in other ways. Same with sustance/alcohol misuse (often used to avoid distressing emotions). Rigid gender stereotypes are a huge barrier to this. That's not to say these problems are things of the past, far from it. But they are less acceptabe as gender norms within many sections of society, not so much in others, nor in other cultures.
I think a lot of the points raised here will echo the nice guys discussions. Many people do want men who are emotionally intelligent and don't see this as unmanly, howeverthey also prefer people who are confident in themselves and know what they want. Much of the criticism is about guys who are weak as partners, either having no opinions of their own or being ambivalent about being in a relationship. To me this has little to do with men not being manly but I think some of the gender changes mean that these traits are more visible for what they are, whereas in the past they would have been hidden behind gender roles and suppressed.0 -
I think a lot of the points raised here will echo the nice guys discussions. Many people do want men who are emotionally intelligent and don't see this as unmanly, howeverthey also prefer people who are confident in themselves and know what they want. Much of the criticism is about guys who are weak as partners, either having no opinions of their own or being ambivalent about being in a relationship. To me this has little to do with men not being manly but I think some of the gender changes mean that these traits are more visible for what they are, whereas in the past they would have been hidden behind gender roles and suppressed.
Well said! Emotional self-awareness does not necessarily equal weak, though that is the stereotype that is often played up. There's a big difference between being emotionally open and being a shilly-shallying pushover who can't/won't commit to an opinion, let alone a relationship.0 -
Also, one of my friends said that the reason many professionals in my generation are still single is that the men are all looking for women like their mother, and the women are all looking for men like their father, but society has changed so neither the men nor the woman themselves are like that previous generation.
I'm reminded of the joke:
"I finally found a woman who's just like my mother. She looks like her, she walks like her, she cooks like her, she talks like her, everything! I took her home to meet my family. My Dad hates her!"
;-)
--P0
