BBW fetishes weird or not?
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erinxo13
Posts: 892 Member
Am I the only one that is totally creeped out by BBW fetishes? No offence to anyone who has one but I've recently got a few messages on dating websites and they have openly been like i LOVE BIGGER WOMEN!!!!! BBW!!! SSBW!!!!!! LOVE THOSE CURVES!!!!! and like...it creeps me out? I'm not sure how to even respond it and I don't really know how to say how I feel besides that it freaks me out. I have never hid on dating websites that I'm a bigger girl, and I have only really tried dating websites a few times (it just ends in lower self esteem and feeling worse lol) and recently just forgot I had accounts until the last few days where I've received two messages from two different guys who are all BBW fetish-y.
Am I the only one that feels this way? Lol. I guess it is kind of a double standard when you think about it but... I don't know!
Am I the only one that feels this way? Lol. I guess it is kind of a double standard when you think about it but... I don't know!
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Replies
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I prefer fit, feminine women.
Every one has different preferences.0 -
To each their own.
Now FOOT fetishes are WEIRD. Normal appreciation for feet is fine, but the guys who ask for pictures, wanna put their mouths on them.... No.0 -
Please don`t take this wrong but it really is more of a thing in your mind then elsewhere.
There are men who find larger women (and what exact definition that is depends on an individual) desirable so accept it as real and honest.
My guess is that you don`t like yourself which happens so you can`t believe anyone could unless there is something wrong with them.
It justifies your feelings in your mind but is not at all productive.
Work to where you want to be and forget about the rest.0 -
Please don`t take this wrong but it really is more of a thing in your mind then elsewhere.
There are men who find larger women (and what exact definition that is depends on an individual) desirable so accept it as real and honest.
This I agree with.
BUT...if a guy says in his profile stuff like "I love BBW!" and things like that, he probably is a little too obsessed. It is fine to like what you like, but you shouldn't plaster it all over your profile, and that includes wanting other characteristics in a person.There's a limit. And writing things like, "I am open to women of all shapes and sizes," is a classier way than writing "BBW are my favorite!"0 -
Please don`t take this wrong but it really is more of a thing in your mind then elsewhere.
There are men who find larger women (and what exact definition that is depends on an individual) desirable so accept it as real and honest.
This I agree with.
BUT...if a guy says in his profile stuff like "I love BBW!" and things like that, he probably is a little too obessessed. It is fine to like what you like, but you shouldn't plaster it all over your profile, and that includes wanting other uncharacteristic in a person.There's a limit. And writing things like, "I am open to women of all shapes and sizes," is a classier way than writing "BBW are my favorite!"
I think tchristine24 was trying to say what I originally wanted to, I think that's why I find it so creepy - that they are advertising it. I guess.0 -
Please don`t take this wrong but it really is more of a thing in your mind then elsewhere.
There are men who find larger women (and what exact definition that is depends on an individual) desirable so accept it as real and honest.
This I agree with.
BUT...if a guy says in his profile stuff like "I love BBW!" and things like that, he probably is a little too obessessed. It is fine to like what you like, but you shouldn't plaster it all over your profile, and that includes wanting other uncharacteristic in a person.There's a limit. And writing things like, "I am open to women of all shapes and sizes," is a classier way than writing "BBW are my favorite!"
I think tchristine24 was trying to say what I originally wanted to, I think that's why I find it so creepy - that they are advertising it. I guess.
Do you either state outright or have a very clear ideal of a male body type in your mind?
If so then ask yourself how yours is any different then anothers.
Again,not being mean but just pointing out that I suspect your personal dislike of you is coloring your mind regarding what a guy could possibly accept or like.
That is a foolish and perhaps even dangerous endeavor if I am correct.0 -
Oh there are the weird fetish ones out there.. and those that advertise in capitals.. and those that are just "trying it out" as a novelty..they all exist. I think they put it out there because it draws attention and in past has not been as common to admit/declare so openly.
However.. there are also quality men out there also who happen to be attracted to and indeed, actually prefer a larger sized woman. It isn't a self-esteem thing and for others to imply that they have a fetish (something outside normal preferences) is insulting and demeaning to both the men and the sexy women they are attracted to.0 -
Please don`t take this wrong but it really is more of a thing in your mind then elsewhere.
There are men who find larger women (and what exact definition that is depends on an individual) desirable so accept it as real and honest.
This I agree with.
BUT...if a guy says in his profile stuff like "I love BBW!" and things like that, he probably is a little too obessessed. It is fine to like what you like, but you shouldn't plaster it all over your profile, and that includes wanting other uncharacteristic in a person.There's a limit. And writing things like, "I am open to women of all shapes and sizes," is a classier way than writing "BBW are my favorite!"
I think tchristine24 was trying to say what I originally wanted to, I think that's why I find it so creepy - that they are advertising it. I guess.
Do you either state outright or have a very clear ideal of a male body type in your mind?
If so then ask yourself how yours is any different then anothers.
Again,not being mean but just pointing out that I suspect your personal dislike of you is coloring your mind regarding what a guy could possibly accept or like.
That is a foolish and perhaps even dangerous endeavor if I am correct.My guess is that you don`t like yourself which happens so you can`t believe anyone could unless there is something wrong with them.
It justifies your feelings in your mind but is not at all productive.
Liking bigger women is fine. It's fine that it's your type. But if you put that all over your profile "I love bigger women" or "BBW 4 LIFE!" it shows that for you, the body type is all there is. It should only be a fraction of the attraction. I would be creeped out if a guy had a BBW fetish. But it's not creepy if he said, "you know what? i'm generally attracted to bigger women." It's all about the approach. t I don't write in my profile "Only men over 200 lbs" or "Only men shorter than 5'8." It's one thing to have a type, but it's another to plaster that type all over your profile and make that all that your profile is about, and why do you have to use terminology like BBW?
Let's say someone likes muscular women. They shouldn't write "I love female Hulks" all over their profile. But it's fine to write, "Generally, I am attracted to muscular women." I might not, but if you want to, I get it.
The point I am trying to make is that it shouldn't be all about whether the girl is BBW (which is a term I absolutely hate) or thin or black or white. It should be about the individual.0 -
Now wait a minute...I know this is a philosophical question more then anything in that the analogy won`t be accepted but why is it okay for the vast majority of women to have a height requirement whether expressed or not.
From past discussions here and elsewhere I would say at least 70% of ladies close the door on any guy shorter then either them or some ideal they have.
Their right but somehow not okay that a guy may like a body type outside what is self stereotyped as desirable?
You all make this too hard.0 -
Now wait a minute...I know this is a philosophical question more then anything in that the analogy won`t be accepted but why is it okay for the vast majority of women to have a height requirement whether expressed or not.
From past discussions here and elsewhere I would say at least 70% of ladies close the door on any guy shorter then either them or some ideal they have.
Their right but somehow not okay that a guy may like a body type outside what is self stereotyped as desirable?
You all make this too hard.
It's one thing to have that idea in your head, and it's another one to act b!tchy and put that in your profile and make it the only thing you care about when scoping out people. Does that make sense? It can have an impact, but it shouldn't be the only thing that is cared about. And no one should use disrespect terms like "BBW" or "shrimp (for a shorter guy)."
Plenty of girls disregard the height requirement if they meet a guy they really like that is an inch shorter than them. And also, most girls don't post that in their profile, and if they do, that's rude and that's not a girl you want to date. As a tall girl, I feel awkward with shorter men. But if I met a shorter man that I really did like, it wouldn't be an automatic deal breaker. I've had crushes in men my height or a tad bit shorter before.0 -
I have another view on the same opinion as Erin, Carl. I absolutely can't handle men who want a woman JUST because she's larger. My issue with it is because I don't WANT to stay a larger woman. If that's what attracts him, how will he feel about me if i lose weight? Now if a woman is larger and has no interest in changing it, then fine, she can indulge that... but NOT ME!
I do recognize though that men liking larger women is no different than me loving men who are built yet have a little belly from enjoying food or alcohol. I find it adorable and just want to rub their bellies, haha.... so I get it. But I wish we could all just meet someone and worry about their personality.... OK, dream over, haha!0 -
To me it's a preference, not a fetish.
I prefer white guys. I'm not racist but that's my preference. I never put that in my profile (I read one guys profile saying he only dated within his race and it sounded tacky) but that's what I usually went after. I also prefer lean tall guys, again, it's a preference.
To me posting "I prefer BBW" is tacky.0 -
To me posting "I prefer BBW" is tacky.
Agree.0 -
I absolutely can't handle men who want a woman JUST because she's larger.
Exactly! I don't want any guy JUST because he's X or Y. It's a small factor in a very large pool of factors.0 -
Personally, I prefer when guys are upfront about what type they find attractive. Saves those of us who aren't blonde/blue eyed a lot of time.0
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I prefer white guys. I'm not racist but that's my preference. I never put that in my profile (I read one guys profile saying he only dated within his race and it sounded tacky) but that's what I usually went after.
Gang, help me understand... why is it ok to *do* something, but not ok to *say* you do something? For example, I tend to like white/lighter guys myself. And many want to date a woman with color, but few actually want to *marry* one or take one home to mom. I wish it weren't considered so tacky for them to just come out and say so. I wouldn't be offended at the guy who says he only dates within his race because now I know not to bother winking at him or looking at his pictures wondering if he'll be interested in me.
I guess what I'm saying is... why pretend to like people of all sizes/colors when most of us don't?0 -
I think the problem here is fetish vs. preference. To me, when I see someone posting BBW!!! or whatever, it sounds like a fetish, not a preference...but as Christine said up there, its a lot different saying "I generally prefer larger women" than saying "BBW 4 EVER!". I don't think anyone is not allowed to have their personal preference and that there is someone for everyone out there but I feel like posting it in the BBW!!! way is just kind of weird compared to saying I prefer women that are larger or something similar to that. Obviously everyone is going to have their own preference but saying it like straight out like that, in that particular way, just sounds weird.0
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In agreement that someone contacting you with a big "I love BBW" banner to you in the message is tacky, but I also wonder if some guys have experienced bigger women not believing that bigger was actually their preference? And it takes some convincing?
When I met my ex husband I was 5'5' and 110 lbs.- basically a stick. He's still comparatively thin. He pursued me for 2 years at that weight, and I always assumed super thin was his deal. Not so, apparently now that he's on his own. He's still thin, and he's told me that he often has to convince women that he actually does like their body type, and that it's not some kind of weird exploitative fetish. He's kinda verbally adept, so "I love BBW" isn't what he says, but he's had to make that point.
I also think the idea above about poor self image not aligning with someone being physically into you is something to consider.
Edit: After reading above OP post it might be less a self image issue more a language issue, but dunno- self image is always entangled everywhere.0 -
Obviously everyone is going to have their own preference but saying it like straight out like that, in that particular way, just sounds weird.
That's the thing. I think it's fine to feel what you want to feel, but it's another to post it out there and be rude and discount a person out that is reading your profile because they don't fit your superficial description of what you want. I would be offended if I saw a profile that says, "Don't message me if you're overweight" or "Don't bother contacting me if you're not Asian." It's just one of those things that shows that you think looks are the number one thing when they're not. It's one thing to feel that way about experiences in every day life where you get to know the person naturally, but online, you could be discounting a really awesome person that might have messaged you because on your profile you said, "Men over 6 feet please." You might have liked them in real life had you considered their personality before their looks.0 -
I prefer white guys. I'm not racist but that's my preference. I never put that in my profile (I read one guys profile saying he only dated within his race and it sounded tacky) but that's what I usually went after.
Gang, help me understand... why is it ok to *do* something, but not ok to *say* you do something? For example, I tend to like white/lighter guys myself. And many want to date a woman with color, but few actually want to *marry* one or take one home to mom. I wish it weren't considered so tacky for them to just come out and say so. I wouldn't be offended at the guy who says he only dates within his race because now I know not to bother winking at him or looking at his pictures wondering if he'll be interested in me.
I guess what I'm saying is... why pretend to like people of all sizes/colors when most of us don't?
I don't pretend. I have told both Hispanic and African american men that I had a preference. Some were offended, some thought it was fine, and some thought they could change me if I "tried" them.
All of my white serious Bfs brought me home to mom. I guess it would depend on the guy.0
