BBW fetishes weird or not?
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I am curious for others opinions as to how much of this is simply because weight is almost a taboo thing for most ladies and if that wasn`t the issue the op is based on it would not be given even a second thought.
I don't think so.
What if a guy contacted the OP and said he wanted to meet because he loved red sweaters, and she was wearing a red sweater in her profile pic. Wouldn't that be a bit strange, both his fetish, and the fact that he is telling her this (which is another sign he's super weird). She shows up for a coffee date, and he goes on and on about red sweaters, and how happy he is that she decided to wear a red sweater on their first meeting. And asks for the waiter to take a pic of them both, making sure to get her entire red sweater, even if it means cutting off her head in the pic...
The guy is a certifiable lunatic, but it's still a fixation on one thing, be it weight or whatever. It's a fetish, and it implies irrational behavior - especially sexual arousal - based on this one attribute.
That's totally different from a guy saying his gf looks great in red, is glad that she wears red occasionally, etc. Completely normal.
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How is it any different then the opposite where one particular physical trait or characteristic is a final deal breaker?
In this case it could be as simple as a person announcing beforehand this particular thing is not that to them.
It being a fetish is not established but assumed.
Not sure what this means.
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How is it any different then the opposite where one particular physical trait or characteristic is a final deal breaker?
In this case it could be as simple as a person announcing beforehand this particular thing is not that to them.
It being a fetish is not established but assumed.
Not sure what this means.
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If focusing on one thing to determine attraction is weird or creepy then conversely it must be that focusing on one thing to destroy all chance of attraction should be too.
No one will accept that but it is logically the same mindset.
As far as the people spoken of it was the OPs conclusion that to them it was a fetish,we however actually do not know this as a fact.
It is just as much possible it is a guy trying (clumsily but perhaps justifiably) to ease her mind that he doesn`t care her body type.0 -
It's downright weird to me to say you will only date overweight women, or whatever. Who wants to be defined as desirable based on one thing?
And yet, if we go back to the other thread... 90% of the time we are instantly judged as desirable by the opposite sex strictly by our looks.
"Looks" are not one thing. Saying someone looks good incorporates a variety of attributes: hair, eyes, facial symmetry, body, smile, etc. That's quite complex.
Saying you want overweight women is much more one dimensional.
Again, I have no issue with a preference for overweight women. But to fixate on one attribute like that is just creepy.
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DM repeatedly says he likes fit women. How is that any different?
I don't think anyone's preference should be labeled creepy.
We like what we like. Hell if nobody liked tall curvy Latinas I'd be out of luck!
We all need to accept looks are important, ESPECIALLY when using online dating. Most profiles w/o pics are ignored. Im not saying we all need to look a certain way but to be offended that looks matter is living in denial in today's dating world.0 -
Especially because the nature of fetish seems to imply "sexual arousal":How is it any different then the opposite where one particular physical trait or characteristic is a final deal breaker?
In this case it could be as simple as a person announcing beforehand this particular thing is not that to them.
It being a fetish is not established but assumed.
- The displacement of sexual arousal or gratification to a fetish.
- The compulsive use of some object or part of the body as a sexual stimulus, as a shoe, underclothes, a lock of hair, etc.
Not exactly identical to wanting a date with someone (in the initial stages, you're just stating a preference).0 -
DM repeatedly says he likes fit women. How is that any different?
I don't think anyone's preference should be labeled creepy.
We like what we like. Hell if nobody liked tall curvy Latinas I'd be out of luck!
We all need to accept looks are important, ESPECIALLY when using online dating. Most profiles w/o pics are ignored. Im not saying we all need to look a certain way but to be offended that looks matter is living in denial in today's dating world.
As I said a few times, there is nothing wrong with a "preference." That's normal. However, when a preference becomes a fetish, then yes, it's a problem.
You do understand the definition of fetish, right?
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To each their own.
Now FOOT fetishes are WEIRD. Normal appreciation for feet is fine, but the guys who ask for pictures, wanna put their mouths on them.... No.
What the heck is wrong with a guy that wants to suck your toes? Have you had it done? No? TRY IT! Oh, my! :blushing: Give me a foot fetish guy any day! :flowerforyou:0 -
To each their own.
Now FOOT fetishes are WEIRD. Normal appreciation for feet is fine, but the guys who ask for pictures, wanna put their mouths on them.... No.
What the heck is wrong with a guy that wants to suck your toes? Have you had it done? No? TRY IT! Oh, my! :blushing: Give me a foot fetish guy any day! :flowerforyou:
I love to have my legs worshipped. Suck on them, kiss them, lick them, whatever.. Feet included. As a matter of fact, I just like my whole body worshipped. Haha0 -
This thread has managed to stay reasonably intelligent for 2 whole pages.. good reading - thanks!
Am going to go and find me a fetish now.. :laugh:0 -
All fetishes are pretty weird. Some are just weird in an awesome way.0
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Preference and fetishes are too different things. I think what differentiates the two is that a fetish is an unhealthy obsession, something the person fixates WAY too much on. THAT is what makes a fetish creepy.
For example, some men like a certain haircolor on a woman more than others. But, I know this guy who has a HUGE redhead fetish. He constantly talks about his love of redhead women. One time I was talking to an acquaintance of mine, who happens to be a redhead, and she was mentioning she had this guy who stalked her and I said, "Is his name (insert his name)?" and she said, "OMG. Yes, how do you know him?!". I should also mention this guy lives in the same town as me and this girl lives an hour away, so it was a HUGE coincidence. He has stalked several redheaded women I know. I was a redhead for a short time and he began to harass me as well. My friend is blonde but wore a red wig to a Halloween party and he began to stalk her. THAT is more than a preference. THAT is downright creepy... reminds me of the guy in "Disturbia" that murdered redhead women. :noway:0 -
A fetish is definitely not a preference!! It's an obsession.
Like the OP, I would not like to be the object of an obsession.
For example, I'm short. Some men prefer short women cos we are cute and they feel all protective over us = cool :bigsmile:
Other men have a fetish for short women, they jerk off at the sight of a dwarf or midget = creepy :noway:0 -
Another question that hopefully will get an answer.
Do any of you have a particular "normal" act or position that if not done in the course of being intimate makes the experience less then or not at all pleasurable?
Or in those rare occasions where we have only ourselves to entertain it is the go to fantasy.
No need to make this X rated with specifics but if the answer is yes then why does that rise to the level of being a fetish?0 -
Another question that hopefully will get an answer.
Do any of you have a particular "normal" act or position that if not done in the course of being intimate makes the experience less then or not at all pleasurable?
Or in those rare occasions where we have only ourselves to entertain it is the go to fantasy.
No need to make this X rated with specifics but if the answer is yes then why does that rise to the level of being a fetish?
I hear where you're coming from Carl, but the point is that a 'fetish' isn't 'normal'!
Some more definitions I just found:
2. An object of unreasonably excessive attention or reverence: made a fetish of punctuality.
3. Something, such as a material object or a nonsexual part of the body, that arouses sexual desire and may become necessary for sexual gratification.
4. An abnormally obsessive preoccupation or attachment; a fixation.0 -
Who is to say what is normal though?
There are definitely things I would never consider doing and to me the thought of them is "weird".
However there are things I may like to do which to another is considered weird.
As long as both are compatible and no harm comes to anyone then so be it.
What I honestly see here is a person that doesn`t like where she is in weight/figure,fair enough.
To arbitrarily say that anyone who expresses an attraction to her as she is now is somehow abnormal is not fair.
She can reject that as not being in line with where she wants to get herself to but to declare it (based on the information provided) as creepy has more to do with her self image then the actual issue.0 -
Honestly a guy telling a girl "I love BBW!!!" is pretty demeaning. For one thing, it very much sounds like he thinks she's desperate for someone to love her body, so she'll just automatically go for him because he likes bigger women. For another, how is this any less shallow than a guy messaging a thinner/in shape girl and telling her that her body is great and nothing else? The answer is that it is not. The fit girl would most likely just ignore that kind of message as insulting as well.0
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What I honestly see here is a person that doesn`t like where she is in weight/figure,fair enough.
To arbitrarily say that anyone who expresses an attraction to her as she is now is somehow abnormal is not fair.
As a woman who could stand to lose some weight I have gotten a few BBW messages in online dating. They are not even remotely like the ones the majority of guys send. They are usually long, demeaning and start out by asking multiple questions about height and weight and not even a 'hey how are you" type thing, clearly implying that they don't even care to determine commonalities, etc. I really don't think there is an equivalently rude message that a guy here on Single Peeps has received...so to blame the receiver of the message because they didn't like it is kind of like blaming the victim of a crime. Just because I was in a certain place at a certain time does not mean that what happened is appropriate...0 -
Honestly a guy telling a girl "I love BBW!!!" is pretty demeaning. For one thing, it very much sounds like he thinks she's desperate for someone to love her body, so she'll just automatically go for him because he likes bigger women. For another, how is this any less shallow than a guy messaging a thinner/in shape girl and telling her that her body is great and nothing else? The answer is that it is not. The fit girl would most likely just ignore that kind of message as insulting as well.
THIS!0 -
I seriously wish I could edit my original post to reiterate that there IS a difference between preference and fetish. I feel like if your profile says BBW LOVER or something like that, it makes you sound like it is fetish like, therefore I will be creeped out. I am not creeped out that people have different preferences in body type or anything, everyone does... I'm saying its more like...to say the BBW thing is kind of demeaning and it just really, from many experiences I've seen, just sounds like a creepy fetish. Most fetishes are creepy anyways but if you're into it like, whatever, that's what you're into.0
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Another question that hopefully will get an answer.
Do any of you have a particular "normal" act or position that if not done in the course of being intimate makes the experience less then or not at all pleasurable?
Or in those rare occasions where we have only ourselves to entertain it is the go to fantasy.
No need to make this X rated with specifics but if the answer is yes then why does that rise to the level of being a fetish?
Carl, you dawg. You've been waiting for the right moment to squeeze this question in, haven't you?
;-)
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