When women say "I don't have female friends"
Options
Replies
-
Not really, but in general I view it as a positive thing. But as always, the devil's in the details.
She has no female friends because she's obnoxious? Anti-social? Or because she just relates better to men? Perhaps she played sports since childhood and was quite good, so naturally hung out with boys, and this just carried over into adulthood? All of these are good reasons why she has few female friends.
I'm biased, however, because I have mainly guy friends, so it makes perfect sense (to me) for a woman to want to hang around guys, too.
--P0 -
Wait, "Girl Code"??? Wtf? Only guys can have codes. Stop that ladies! ;-)
Also, I completely disagree that guys cannot have girl friends (not girlfriends, but friends that are girls) without wanting to sleep with them. Maybe it was different when I was 25? At 45, I have no desire to ruin a great friendship with sex, unless it's because the relationship is evolving and we've decided to seriously date.
I like sex now as much as before, but it definitely doesn't rule my world. I've made a lot of bad decisions in my life (few regrets, btw), but you can't say I haven't learned from them.
I will admit that alcohol is the wild card here. Two drunk friends, alone, lonely.... That's not going to end well. Or, rather, it's going to end very well...Depends on your point of view. :-)
--P0 -
She's one of those women that hates women, is catty, *****y and bitter and surrounds herself with guy friends because they are drama freeeeeeeeeee - not realizing she has made herself a cloud of drama worth 5 women.
*ding ding ding!* We have a winner! My ex was the same way. She's better now. I believe age and maturity played a part in it.0 -
I've met many girls who have "mainly male friends" or "prefer male friends" (which btw is different from "I don't have female friends" which might mean you don't have any friends at all, and are just antisocial).
They are trying to avoid the drama and headache women create where every action will be scrutinized, interpreted, analysed, shredded to pieces, and finally judged as "wrong" pretty much all the time because they should have done this instead of that.
These "mainly male friends" girls have a few female friends as well, but they are often female friends who prefer male friends too.
To me, they are the girls who like to hear and respect the opinion of a man, and have the ability to think on their feet (and can make abstraction of their emotions when it's time to think).
They make for really really really really (!!!) good conversation.
I usually like these girls and like their attitude. I'm 100% sure this is the kind of girl I am after (stereotypes: geek girl, non-girly girl).
I've met some like that... I think I can spot them early enough though, especially during those long conversations I'm mentioning before.She's one of those women that hates women, is catty, *****y and bitter and surrounds herself with guy friends because they are drama freeeeeeeeeee - not realizing she has made herself a cloud of drama worth 5 women.0 -
I've met many girls who have "mainly male friends" or "prefer male friends" (which btw is different from "I don't have female friends" which might mean you don't have any friends at all, and are just antisocial).
They are trying to avoid the drama and headache women create where every action will be scrutinized, interpreted, analysed, shredded to pieces, and finally judged as "wrong" pretty much all the time because they should have done this instead of that.
These "mainly male friends" girls have a few female friends as well, but they are often female friends who prefer male friends too.
To me, they are the girls who like to hear and respect the opinion of a man, and have the ability to think on their feet (and can make abstraction of their emotions when it's time to think).
They make for really really really really (!!!) good conversation.
I usually like these girls and like their attitude. I'm 100% sure this is the kind of girl I am after (stereotypes: geek girl, non-girly girl).
I've met some like that... I think I can spot them early enough though, especially during those long conversations I'm mentioning before.She's one of those women that hates women, is catty, *****y and bitter and surrounds herself with guy friends because they are drama freeeeeeeeeee - not realizing she has made herself a cloud of drama worth 5 women.
But the thing is we are talking about girls that don't have any female friends. Girls that have at least one female friend is totally different then a girl that has none at all. Some people like to keep their friend circle small so only have 1 or 2 female friends and some guy friends. The ones that don't have any girl friends are the ones that has issues.0 -
About the friends:
But the thing is we are talking about girls that don't have any female friends. Girls that have at least one female friend is totally different then a girl that has none at all. Some people like to keep their friend circle small so only have 1 or 2 female friends and some guy friends. The ones that don't have any girl friends are the ones that has issues.I've met many girls who have "mainly male friends" or "prefer male friends" (which btw is different from "I don't have female friends" which might mean you don't have any friends at all, and are just antisocial).
These "mainly male friends" girls have a few female friends as well, but they are often female friends who prefer male friends too.
I usually like these girls and like their attitude. I'm 100% sure this is the kind of girl I am after (stereotypes: geek girl, non-girly girl).
To be clearer, what I mean is: if your female friends are all tomboys, it's probably not exactly similar to having only "girly female friends". "Tomboys" mentality is different from "girly female friends" and perhaps quite similar to a "male friend" mentality.
Similarly if you've got only very "feminine male friends", I'm not sure you can really say you've got "male friends" (as I guess the assumption for this topic is "masculine male friends" and "feminine female friends").
For this topic, given you're not (theoretically) having sex with your friends, it's not a matter of genitals, but mentality rather.
So what I said was:
I like a lot those girls who are not too girly, who have mainly masculine male friends and female friends who are similar to them (i.e. some degree of masculinity in their mentality).
I don't think I'm a big fan of the "feminine female/girly mentality", although I'm sure a lot of them are really nice, I don't get to meet a lot of them (not my crowd) and I don't feel like I'm lacking anything in my life.
Of course, it's all about striking the right balance and I'm not talking extremes either way here.0 -
I don't bat an eye when I hear this. A large number of females I have known or do know say this. I don't know that it always means they have literally 0 female friends - it might just be them telling me to keep my penis away from their female friends.
Anyway, I'm used to hearing it.0 -
BUT what about GUYS (straight men, that is) that only have female friends?
The last guy I was casually dating said he didn't have many male friends, he mainly had female friends. He also never knew his father so that could have been part of it. Anywho, I saw it as a red flag because I thought it seemed strange. I ignored it at the urging of my friends and now wish I had not...0 -
This is an interesting topic, and I guess I have a few points to make, which are all my opinion. Not saying I'm right or wrong, just what I think.
If you're going on a first date with a girl, and she leads off with "I don't have any female friends" or even "many female friends" and says it in a defensive tone, I think she is probably one of the catty girls mentioned. However, if after getting to know her over a date or two, you can see by her personality and/or the way she thinks/communicates that she probably connects better with men, or the manly way of thinking, then that would be a bit more acceptable.
For me, I do have a few close guy friends. One I met at my last duty station, and it's kinda funny. When we met, we both thought the other like-liked us, but neither of us did, haha. We've remained really close friends for about six years now, and I would definitely meet him for dinner or lunch or go to a movie with him alone, provided my significant other had met and hung out with him and liked him. The other close guy friend I have is part of a couple, and I'm close with both of them, so that's really no big deal. They're like my adoptive parents, lol.
I was lucky finding some girlfriends when I first moved down here last September. As soon as I separated, I moved in with this girl that I was in class with, and we've remained close to best friend status since November. We've also met a few other girls along the way, so now we have a nice little handful of girls to go do girly things with. I do have a bunch of other guy friends that I partied with, but now that I'm in a relationship, I wouldn't hang out with any of them one-on-one because I think that would be disrespectful to my boyfriend. These men are more just like acquaintances, and we would probably not keep in touch once one of us moves somewhere else (aside from snide Facebook comments).
This is actually the first time in a long time that I've had several girlfriends. Thanks to the military lifestyle, my crude and immature sense of humor, and my charming personality, I've gotten along great with most of my coworkers who are predominantly male. However, instead of saying "I don't have many female friends," I like to discard gender completely most of the time and say, "I don't have any annoying/stupid/mean/insteadothernegativewordhere friends." 0 -
This is an interesting topic, and I guess I have a few points to make, which are all my opinion. Not saying I'm right or wrong, just what I think.
If you're going on a first date with a girl, and she leads off with "I don't have any female friends" or even "many female friends" and says it in a defensive tone, I think she is probably one of the catty girls mentioned. However, if after getting to know her over a date or two, you can see by her personality and/or the way she thinks/communicates that she probably connects better with men, or the manly way of thinking, then that would be a bit more acceptable.
Exactly.However, instead of saying "I don't have many female friends," I like to discard gender completely most of the time and say, "I don't have any annoying/stupid/mean/insteadothernegativewordhere friends."
Yep, that was my point all along. If you don't get along with a whole gender, there are red flags.0 -
I find it hard to maintain a lot of friendships, because I like my alone time and that usually translates to someone as me not having time or wanting to be around them.
This is exactly me. I love my time to myself, and also don't really wanna get caught up in other people's drama, so have very few close friends.
I sometimes wonder if this will hinder a relationship, because I don't have a huge pool of friends to draw on to go do things with. I'm holding out hope that the right guy will understand my reasoning for the small social circle. *shrug*0 -
I am not sure what is mysterious about this whole thing,almost every lady I know says the same thing.
They have a couple of gal pals and are happy to have a girls only evening but for the most part do not wish to have anything to do with other ladies in general.
It is not that they can`t get along but the reality of life that most ladies are in a constant state of competition with each other.
There does not need to be a guy involved but their own self perception of attractiveness and worth.
Guys just don`t do that.
Yes,have made generalizations here and of course not all are what I said but my observance of things does support my statement.0 -
I am leery of women who have only male friends in the same way I am leery about men who only have female friends. And the same way I would be leery of a person who only has black friends, or white friends or just purple friends.
I like spending time with folks who are rather open minded. 0
