What are your chances?
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I am the exact opposite... the longer I am single, the more I absolutely hate it! I miss so much about living with a partner. I have no clue what my chances for marriage are, but I hope they are high since the single life is not for me long term.I can definitely see that. The longer I'm single, the more I love it.
Yes, this is a totally depressing topic to me. Not that it isn't realistic, just depressing... :frown:Is it just me or is this thread kind of depressing?
Honestly,whether I may or may not agree with someone on any particular issue I see no reason at all for anyone to think they have zero chance of finding happiness
This is absolutely true. People who are too focused on a wedding, usually have no idea what goes into a marriage. A party does not a lifetime of happiness make.Some people are talking about a wedding when marriage is a completely different concept.0 -
Honestly it doesnt matter to me . My % would have to be based on whoever I was dating lol. I've been married before and getting divorced is a pain in the tushie. My live in LTR lasted the same amount of time and was much easier to untangle myself from. So marrige doent mean much to me. But if it were important to my partnet than I would do it for his happiness.0
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i say 10% chance, and it's not because i'm not interested. i think it's because i'm a hard person to match .. maybe i need to find my own misfit island
Ummm... I'd probably be crashing your little party...I'm a hard person to match as well...
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cool. i'm sure our mismatch island could be fun.. even if none of match each other we'd still have awesome parties :happy:0 -
I don't believe in paper marriages. I think that making a commitment to love someone for the rest of your life is more important that signing a document so the government can get their fingers in your life too.
Yeah, the government leaves you alone when you choose to stay single.
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Well no, they don't, but the less reason I give them to involved the better in my opinion. Down with the gummint or something.Maybe to some it's "just a piece of paper," but to me it's more. I understand the logic behind not wanting or needing that piece of paper. Perhaps I'm even a bit envious of that approach. But it's just not me. My southern upbringing foils me again!
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For the record, I'm not adamantly against it, I nothing it. If I was with someone and he wanted to do the whole kit and kaboodle then sure, plan it. I'll go try on some dresses, show up on time and sign my name on the dotted line. I just don't seek it out because I don't think it appropriately expresses my love and commitment.
But I can also see the point where people might be more willing to fight for the relationship if they feel more bound by that piece of paper. Aside from the marriage aspect I do think weddings are a gargantuan waste of money. I'd rather save those thousands of dollars for a b*tchin' honeymoon. If there needs to be a ceremony let's do a potluck and jump over a broom together or whatever.0 -
I think my odds are pretty high. Perhaps 80%?
Also, I like the concept of marriage. I don't think I could make a relationship work with someone who categorically refused to get married for whatever reason. Perhaps I'm old fashioned, but I do believe it's important to formally commit to someone in a way that is more than just "you're my hook up partner forever." I'm not criticizing this approach, I'm just saying I doubt it will work for me.
As in the example of Schrödinger's cat, reality can be changed by observation, or interaction. The wave function collapses once the door is opened. In a formal marriage, something fundamental changes, as well. I'd like to think for the better. At least in my case I believe there is a greater desire, once married, to make it work.
Maybe to some it's "just a piece of paper," but to me it's more. I understand the logic behind not wanting or needing that piece of paper. Perhaps I'm even a bit envious of that approach. But it's just not me. My southern upbringing foils me again!
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I agree with you. Maybe it's the southern background? But I do agree with what you said about it being more than a "piece of paper"...
And I desire to marry again...
I just don't think I will...0 -
Well, my first marriage ended after 11 years and three kids because my husband and I had TOO much in common. I like men, and , well, as it turns out, so does he! I have now been divorced for 12 years and am ... I hesitate to say....a divorce attorney. And after all that, I still believe in marriage. As for my chances, if it depended just on my own hopes and desires, the percentage would be high. However, there are way too many variables beyond my control....and a few that I'm working on....so who knows. I have learned if I never marry again,life will go on ....and I'll still enjoy the living of it!0
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Aside from the marriage aspect I do think weddings are a gargantuan waste of money. I'd rather save those thousands of dollars for a b*tchin' honeymoon. If there needs to be a ceremony let's do a potluck and jump over a broom together or whatever.
100% agree. I'm for marriage, not for mega weddings. A great party with friends is cool. A super, 3-week honeymoon is even better. But the American style mega weddings that is now a huge, cottage industry (with high priced consultants!) is not my style. Total waste of resources.
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I don't consider this negative. I'm still out there trying to meet someone despite feeling like my odds are low. I am just honest enough with myself to know the odds aren't with me. Like Kerry said, the past is a predictor of the future. No one has ever been in love with me either, and I say that with no negativity. It's my reality. Men do not naturally feel attraction to me; they feel friendship!
I enjoy my life to the fullest! I have a dog who is excited to see me every day, I've gotten to travel the world and do about every water sport out there, I have a job I'm good at and more than enough money to be comfortable, I have a LOT of friends and am never lacking for friendly interaction, and for me most importantly, my faith gets me through some tough days.
I can't ask for being blessed with much more, but my particular struggles will always be weight and men. I can't seem to lose one or find the other :laugh: My reality is that I'm a great catch, but between my standards and men's interests, it just isn't a match! I'm sure I'll be that little old lady who hangs out in the nursing home with all the widowed men, dancing it up, drinking beer, and laughing away my last days with lots of male companions. THAT will be my hayday!
I agree, most of it isn't negative at all. A lot of people here are saying that they think their chances are low but who cares they are happy!
I didn't assign a percentage to mine because I genuinely don't know, I just made a comment about my belief on the social perception of marriage.
If I do never find someone to settle down with it's fine. I have an awesome life and it's really only going to get better.
I agree with these, I'm in the same group as these two comments. Am I hopeful to find a partner to spend lifes ups and downs with? Yes. Do I realistically think it will happen? No idea.0 -
I am the exact opposite... the longer I am single, the more I absolutely hate it! I miss so much about living with a partner. I have no clue what my chances for marriage are, but I hope they are high since the single life is not for me long term.
I feel similarly. What do you miss about living with a partner?
Single life is okay in smaller doses.0 -
I start to feel suffocated if a girlfriend stays over for an entire weekend.
Really??? I'm more interested in this!! :bigsmile: Why do you feel suffocated?? Have you ever lived with anyone David? Are you a loner? Can't you just share the house, rather than the room 24/7?? Not that I'm trying to analyse you, but I find a lot of people are intolerant of too much company if they dont have their own 'space'... .hmmm! I am too, but I'm never one to sit still for hours anyhow......
I was asked this privately as well. I feel suffocated because I have lived by myself for the last 18 years, with the exceptions of a few roommates. If I have to host I feel like I want to crawl out of my skin. This doesn't just apply to girlfriends, it applies to friends and family as well. I don't like visiting others for more than a day either. If I do, I usually get a hotel room (in the case of friends of family, not so much a girlfriend). I like being able to just randomly get up and go for a drive or bike ride, etc. You can't do that with guests. If I leave a sink full of dishes over night I don't feel judged when I'm by myself. I like having complete control over the TV, watching what I want, when I want and not having to hear about how it's midnight and I've been watching college football since 10 am. If my mind wanders (which it often does) I like to be able to just get up from the TV to browse the internet for whatever it is that I started thinking about.0 -
I agree with a lot of posters. I thought I would be married by now when I left high school and went to college. I am not.. The more failed relationships I have the more convinced I am that I will never be married. But now that I am dating someone amazing I am hoping to get married someday. Being with someone awesome reminds you how much you miss it when you don't have that connection. I enjoy my space but I really enjoy our time together because neither of us are super clingy or expects un-reasonable things from each other. So today I say 80%?
Trying to be optimistic!! 0 -
.03% chance I will ever get married again. If the dude was a millionaire.
Other than that .. nope. Never ever ever.0 -
0%. Don't believe in "paper" marriages. Would commit and live with someone in a heartbeat again though...0
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I honestly don't know.
On my positive outlook days, I would say 90%.
On my negative days, 5-10%.
I always think I'm too weird for anyone to want to be with when I'm in a negative mood. When I'm feeling happy I think "Well, there are a lot of weirdos in relationships."
So it depends on the day for me, I guess.
This is me, too. Some days it seems like I just have to be patient and keep the faith long enough, and eventually, I'll find someone with whom I have a reciprocal interest and it'll seem obvious. Other days... I despair.0 -
I think my percentage is probably pretty close to 0% at this point in my life. Marriage is something I always hoped to have, but as I get older and experience the dating world, it seems like such a silly dream. Its not something I can even envision at this point.
Sadly, I'd be happy with dinner and a movie...
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I am going with 100% that I will be married in the future. I want it and I have a very optimistic outlook on my future.0
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I am confident that I wll marry again. I hate being single, and hate the "dating" world. I like being with one person and all that the committment brings with it. Even though I was married once and it ended in divorce, I want the marriage part again !0
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i say 10% chance, and it's not because i'm not interested. i think it's because i'm a hard person to match .. maybe i need to find my own misfit island
I agree.... I feel like I am on the island of misfit toys.0 -
Id say 10% at best , it doesn't appeal to me very much at all but for the right person I would definitely consider it.0
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I start to feel suffocated if a girlfriend stays over for an entire weekend.
Really??? I'm more interested in this!! :bigsmile: Why do you feel suffocated?? Have you ever lived with anyone David? Are you a loner? Can't you just share the house, rather than the room 24/7?? Not that I'm trying to analyse you, but I find a lot of people are intolerant of too much company if they dont have their own 'space'... .hmmm! I am too, but I'm never one to sit still for hours anyhow......
I was asked this privately as well. I feel suffocated because I have lived by myself for the last 18 years, with the exceptions of a few roommates. If I have to host I feel like I want to crawl out of my skin. This doesn't just apply to girlfriends, it applies to friends and family as well. I don't like visiting others for more than a day either. If I do, I usually get a hotel room (in the case of friends of family, not so much a girlfriend). I like being able to just randomly get up and go for a drive or bike ride, etc. You can't do that with guests. If I leave a sink full of dishes over night I don't feel judged when I'm by myself. I like having complete control over the TV, watching what I want, when I want and not having to hear about how it's midnight and I've been watching college football since 10 am. If my mind wanders (which it often does) I like to be able to just get up from the TV to browse the internet for whatever it is that I started thinking about.
wowzer! Well that is what you call 'set in your ways' !! :flowerforyou:0
