Talk me off the edge...
Replies
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She was also upset he left, so in her case YES the waist grab was an invite.
I am so glad that BB interprets a waist grab as just that... an invitation to grab my waist. And hang out for a few minutes enjoying that waist (which I've worked hard to whittle down, by the way).
That in no way equals consent to have sex.0 -
She was also upset he left, so in her case YES the waist grab was an invite.
I am so glad that BB interprets a waist grab as just that... an invitation to grab my waist.
That in no way equals consent to have sex.
You have clearly stated that your intentions are different than OPs.
For you maybe, but to say that a waistgrab is ALWAYS just a waistgrab is wrong.
It can mean an invite, and in OPs case, it probably was.0 -
Furthermore, if she DIDN'T want him to leave, you are basically suggesting she wanted a multiple hour long make out session? What are we in junior high again?
Um... what's the problem? What's wrong with making out for a bit? Am I missing something? Or is my judgement clouded because my boyfriend is starting to talk long term plans and I'm just too distracted??
I think it's actually more high school to expect that hand on the waist, or hand on thigh, or any such "little thing" is a green light for bumping uglies.0 -
It is amazing to sit back and watch a train wreck develop,
The initial assertion that was debated was that IF making out had led to mutually consensual sex then the guy should feel guilty for it after since she had previously said she would not do that.
Where it is at now is everyone reading their own meanings based on whatever biases they have into things where often they simply are not applicable.
No one has said making out equals sex or is an automatic invite to it.
It was a hypothetical situation where both continued on with it and it concluded with sex.
Sheesh.0 -
Furthermore, if she DIDN'T want him to leave, you are basically suggesting she wanted a multiple hour long make out session? What are we in junior high again?
Um... what's the problem? What's wrong with making out for a bit? Am I missing something? Or is my judgement clouded because my boyfriend is starting to talk long term plans and I'm just too distracted??
I think it's actually more high school to expect that hand on the waist, or hand on thigh, or any such "little thing" is a green light for bumping uglies.
This thread isn't about you, you have said previously your intentions are different than OPs.
I am assuming your preferences are for religious purposes which is a bit different imo.
OP clearly, does not have that same principle, so please stay on topic.
I am not arguing against a religious preference.0 -
She was also upset he left, so in her case YES the waist grab was an invite.
I am so glad that BB interprets a waist grab as just that... an invitation to grab my waist.
That in no way equals consent to have sex.
You have clearly stated that your intentions are different than OPs.
For you maybe, but to say that a waistgrab is ALWAYS just a waistgrab is wrong.
It can mean an invite, and in OPs case, it probably was.
You say that it probably was. I say that it probably wasn't. I think it was probably just an invitation to turn things up one more notch- like going from 10 to 11 on a 30 point scale. Not to go from 10 to 30. You sound like the stereotypical college guys in movies who date rape and then say she wanted it.
The only one who really knows is OP.
The fact that guys think the ways expressed in this thread makes me even *more* firmly entrenched in my view that physical favors should be reserved for commitment.0 -
You say that it probably was. I say that it probably wasn't. I think it was probably just an invitation to turn things up one more notch- like going from 10 to 11 on a 30 point scale. Not to go from 10 to 30. You sound like the stereotypical college guys in movies who date rape and then say she wanted it.
The only one who really knows is OP.
The fact that guys think the ways expressed in this thread makes me even *more* firmly entrenched in my view that physical favors should be reserved for commitment.
Believe what you want, believe men are pigs for wanting sex and reading signals from women.
Keep in mind, the same women that complain about men who "use them for their body"
also complain about men, who "aren't aggressive enough".
Decide what you want, and please dear lord stop making this thread about you.0 -
This thread isn't about you, you have said previously your intentions are different than OPs.
I am assuming your preferences are for religious purposes which is a bit different imo.
OP clearly, does not have that same principle, so please stay on topic.
I am not arguing against a religious preference.
This thread isn't about me, but by trying to wait she is acting more like me so take religion out of it and just talk behavior. Don't dismiss my view just because I'm religious.
Girl says she wants to take things slow and wait for complete intimacy. What was this? the 3rd date? I'll have to go back and look. They're kissing. She puts his hand on her back.
That does not mean bang her.
It means I like you, I'm enjoying you, and I want to progress to a deeper relationship with you. It means I feel more comfortable with you and want to do a little more and if we keep getting along well you might eventually get all the way. This does not mean throw me on the floor and pump away. Hand on crotch might be a different story, but even then, it could mean hand job over clothes... not full on sex. You might think that's too high school, but I bet lot of guys on this board would gladly accept that early in a relationship, especially from someone as beautiful as La_Amazona.0 -
wow when did single peeps become attack peeps? LOL she's going on a bike ride with the dude and all she did was have the guy grab her back... calm down. hahaha
happy monday! :drinker:0 -
This thread isn't about me, but by trying to wait she is acting more like me so take religion out of it and just talk behavior. Don't dismiss my view just because I'm religious.
Your view has a lot to do with you being religious.
I grew up in a Christian home, and was basically brow beat that sex before marriage would destroy the world.
It took me a few years to get over that concept.
For you to say that your religion, WHATEVER it may be, doesn't affect your moral stance on pre marital sex
is simply a fib.
If you were not a Christian (or whatever religion you are), I guarantee you would have had sex by now.
I am not condemning you for your choice in life, do what you want to do.
Don't however make some moral standard that everyone else needs to hold up to.
Again read her posts, it is clear she was in the mood.0 -
Again read her posts, it is clear she was in the mood.
There's an easy way to get the answer to this, to clear up a lot of assumptions being made.
Amazona, were you ready to throw down and that was your signal? Or were you just getting a little extra handsy?0 -
I grew up in a Christian home, and was basically brow beat that sex before marriage would destroy the world.
Ah. I get it. You're bitter. I can't help you with that.
Guess what? Non-religious women like to wait a little bit for sex too. You can discount what I'm saying if you want to, but it might actually help you understand the women you're with.Again read her posts, it is clear she was in the mood.
I'm in the mood all the time. I'm in the mood right now actually. Doesn't mean I wanna go all the way, even if BB were here.
If you keep going through life thinking that every time a woman gets aroused that means "do it," I'm worried you'll end up alone. Because many women don't work that way.0 -
Or were you just getting a little extra handsy?
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: This made me laugh out loud Kits - HANDSY!!!!! hahahaha, love it!0 -
I grew up in a Christian home, and was basically brow beat that sex before marriage would destroy the world.
Ah. I get it. You're bitter. I can't help you with that.
Guess what? Non-religious women like to wait a little bit for sex too. You can discount what I'm saying if you want to, but it might actually help you understand the women you're with.Again read her posts, it is clear she was in the mood.
I'm in the mood all the time. I'm in the mood right now actually. Doesn't mean I wanna go all the way, even if BB were here.
If you keep going through life thinking that every time a woman gets aroused that means "do it," I'm worried you'll end up alone. Because many women don't work that way.
Lol, Nice personal attacks I am sure they add validity to your argument.
No I won't shoot personal attacks against you in response, although you at this point are an easy target, just letting you know.
Sigh, when you are in the mood your religion PROHIBITS you to engage in it. She does not have that.
Your argument has no bearing.0 -
I'm a little late to the thread, but you really shouldn't stress if you don't hear from him every single day at this point. While the call may not have been the best idea, it's too late now, and you should just move on.
How long have you known him -- a couple weeks? I'm always sort of amazed that people expect that you must start talking every day to someone just because you went on a couple of dates with them, or start panicking when they don't get a call or text every day. In fact, (and I realize others may disagree and call this "game playing"), I think it is a good thing to not talk every day in the early stages of dating. In my experience, retaining a little mystery isn't a bad thing, or letting him start to wonder why he hasn't heard from you, what you are doing, and who you are doing it with.
I'm just a bit beyond where you are with my latest guy. Yesterday we had date seven (first date was three weeks ago), and we still don't talk every day. We talk or see each other around 5 days a week. As a matter of fact, we talked briefly by text on Thursday, didn't talk Friday, so when we went out on Saturday night, he told me "It feels like forever since I talked to you!" I teased him -- "it's only been a day!" I would much rather have that reaction, then for him to be getting tired of hearing from me by this point. I don't do the "good morning" texts. They are just unnecessary, in my view. (And yes, I am crazy about this guy.)
I think you should just step back a little bit and relax. (And yes, I know how hard that is! I think dates 3-5 are the most nerve wracking in a lot of ways because by then you realize how much you like the person and that you have something to lose if you screw things up.)0 -
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Okay,I have given everyone all the latitude needed so from this point on please get back to the OP.0
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Lol, Nice personal attacks I am sure they add validity to your argument.
No I won't shoot personal attacks against you in response, although you at this point are an easy target, just letting you know.
I don't know where people get the idea that saying "I'm not going to make personal attacks, but there's a lot to say" isn't in and of itself an insult. That;s like pointing a gun at someone and then saying "I just saved your life because I chose not to shoot you". Uhhh, sure, I guess.
Sigh, when you are in the mood your religion PROHIBITS you to engage in it. She does not have that.
She -clearly- stated that she didn't want to go all the way until there was exclusivity. That has nothing to do with religion, you're the one that brought it up and started using it against Janie as a way to tell her that her opinion doesn't matter. Just because Amazona doesn't have religious morals telling her not to get straight up down and dirty, doesn't mean she can't have her own set to live by - which she obviously does.0 -
Looks like everything is okay with Amazona and that guy right now.0
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^^This is awesome... I
Steven Colbert! This is ALMOST turning into a religion debate but not?! I think Janie's points are still valid whether she would go further than Amazona or not. As someone WITH those same religious beliefs though, I don't know that it's stopped me from doing things I think I shouldn't...it just makes me stop and think, so really even if that's not what's driving Amazona, I don't think it makes us any different. I still like to play a bit even if I'm not intending for it to go further!
I'm glad to hear that he text you back, Amazona! If only all women could get out of their own heads long enough to just enjoy the ride, haha.... oh wait, that's what Single Peeps is here to help with!:drinker:0 -
Lol, Nice personal attacks I am sure they add validity to your argument.
No I won't shoot personal attacks against you in response, although you at this point are an easy target, just letting you know.
I don't know where people get the idea that saying "I'm not going to make personal attacks, but there's a lot to say" isn't in and of itself an insult. That;s like pointing a gun at someone and then saying "I just saved your life because I chose not to shoot you". Uhhh, sure, I guess.
Sigh, when you are in the mood your religion PROHIBITS you to engage in it. She does not have that.
She -clearly- stated that she didn't want to go all the way until there was exclusivity. That has nothing to do with religion, you're the one that brought it up and started using it against Janie as a way to tell her that her opinion doesn't matter. Just because Amazona doesn't have religious morals telling her not to get straight up down and dirty, doesn't mean she can't have her own set to live by - which she obviously does.
No it wasn't a personal attack. I did not insult her once, you should highlight where I insulted her character.
The point that was made was, she would not be so selective about her sexuality if she wasn't religious.
Also, she is placing a blanket moral AT WHICH YOU YOURSELF SPOKE AGAINST that all women should wait for sex.
She claims this is a global moral that applies to women, when in recent posts you have made the statement
that there is no arbitrary timeline. It is whenever it feels right.
Nice contradicting yourself.
And again as far as OP is concerned, if you read her posts, it is more than obvious she wanted more.
She even talked about the high amounts of excitement and sexual tension, read page 2.
Stop arguing arbitrarily when you have nothing to argue.0 -
Okay,I have given everyone all the latitude needed so from this point on please get back to the OP.
Carl, silly question, but why are you stifling debate?? Since when is it against the 'rules' to go off on a tangent??
We always do this in here?? Don't we? :huh:0 -
Lol, Nice personal attacks I am sure they add validity to your argument.
No I won't shoot personal attacks against you in response, although you at this point are an easy target, just letting you know.
I don't know where people get the idea that saying "I'm not going to make personal attacks, but there's a lot to say" isn't in and of itself an insult. That;s like pointing a gun at someone and then saying "I just saved your life because I chose not to shoot you". Uhhh, sure, I guess.
Sigh, when you are in the mood your religion PROHIBITS you to engage in it. She does not have that.
She -clearly- stated that she didn't want to go all the way until there was exclusivity. That has nothing to do with religion, you're the one that brought it up and started using it against Janie as a way to tell her that her opinion doesn't matter. Just because Amazona doesn't have religious morals telling her not to get straight up down and dirty, doesn't mean she can't have her own set to live by - which she obviously does.
No it wasn't a personal attack. I did not insult her once, you should highlight where I insulted her character.
The point that was made was, she would not be so selective about her sexuality if she wasn't religious.
Also, she is placing a blanket moral AT WHICH YOU YOURSELF SPOKE AGAINST that all women should wait for sex.
She claims this is a global moral that applies to women, when in recent posts you have made the statement
that there is no arbitrary timeline. It is whenever it feels right.
Nice contradicting yourself.
And again as far as OP is concerned, if you read her posts, it is more than obvious she wanted more.
She even talked about the high amounts of excitement and sexual tension, read page 2.
Stop arguing arbitrarily when you have nothing to argue.
I refuse to debate this any further at the point where people start making things up and putting words in other peoples mouths because they can't argue the actual points.
I'm out.0 -
Do you people not read,I said enough and get back to the OP.
This constant arguing endlessly is not going to continue anymore,state your disagreements have a discussion of them and move on.
My patience with this crap is over.
Have some respect for each other,for myself,NC and Sherri and also those that lurk who might be discouraged to post on fear it will be attacked.
I do not intend to keep repeating these warnings over and over and discussions are underway as to how to fix it as clearly being passive and letting people work out their differences quickly in discussions and move on as in the past is not working anymore.0 -
Okay,I have given everyone all the latitude needed so from this point on please get back to the OP.
Carl, silly question, but why are you stifling debate?? Since when is it against the 'rules' to go off on a tangent??
We always do this in here?? Don't we? :huh:
I understand your concern, Anna. The goal is never to stifle conversation and of course tangents happen every day ALL day on these threads. They make this a very interesting, entertaining place.
Yet, given what's happened the last few weeks, it feels like there is a need to stop some of the issues earlier. Already in this thread, the attacks are small and growing again. Small enough where it can either lead to getting worse or small enough where two people can agree to disagree and not feel the need to win a battle. I don't think any of us want to repeat what happened last week....0 -
Okay,I have given everyone all the latitude needed so from this point on please get back to the OP.
Carl, silly question, but why are you stifling debate?? Since when is it against the 'rules' to go off on a tangent??
We always do this in here?? Don't we? :huh:
Not off on a tangent but anger and arguments that do not benefit the board.
If everyone wants to have daily pissing contests then they shouldsay so,it makes it pointless to have moderators or rules,as it is nothing more then a free for all.
I am fine with that and will happily step down.
If everyone wants decorum and respectful discussions even when not in agreement then there have to be guidelines to keep that happening.
As I just said,self policing is not working any longer and it seems there are folks coming here now just to look for things to get riled up over.0 -
Hi I am Zach haha.
I can be very argumentative, but keep in mind nothing I say is personal, or any personal attacks.
I am a ridiculously persistent against logical inconsistencies, which is why I am a sucker for these threads.
Anyways, I am glad OP's situation worked out her favor, and let us hope it eventually leads
to where she wants it to be
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Hi I am Zach haha.
I can be very argumentative, but keep in mind nothing I say is personal, or any personal attacks.
I am a ridiculously persistent against logical inconsistencies, which is why I am a sucker for these threads.
Anyways, I am glad OP's situation worked out her favor, and let us hope it eventually leads
to where she wants it to be
Well, at least you're pretty! Haha,
:drinker: 0 -
I wasn't trying to have sex. Just wanted to move 1 step past kissing where it was more of kissing and embracing. Yes, maybe under my shirt was a little more risky so I'll rethink that next time. Definately didn't want to get down!0
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These types of b*tches deserve far less respect than the chicks who will do you in the parking lot 5 minutes after buying them a shot.
Man, I'm going to the wrong bars...
--P0
This discussion has been closed.