Coupon Faux Pas?
Replies
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It wouldnt impress me on a first date. I don't think anything is wrong with it, just that its not something I would be impressed by. And impressing each other is what first dates are about. :flowerforyou:0
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I think the point about getting creative with what you have is important here. A cheap first date involving a walk somewhere nice, coffee/frozen yogurt/ free museum I'd be down for, but a restaurant that someone needs a coupon to afford- not so down for. Being creative involves thought and lets someone know you value their potential, but just picking somewhere because you have a coupon messages "I'm kind of lazy about planning this and don't want to waste money in case you suck"
I don't see anything wrong wih that. Nearly every post in here about online dating talks about all the bad dates and how people are rarely how they present themselves in their profiles and preliminary messages. There is a high probability that you will suck.0 -
I am one helluva frugal penny pincher - to the point where if I have to spend more than what I consider the value of the event to be then it will decrease how much fun I have because I'll be too busy worrying about how it affects my budget. While I don't go searching for coupons, I am signed up for groupons and living social and might browse them, find a couple good ones sometimes. If it comes in the mail I'll check through it. If I know I'm going somewhere ahead of time, I might do a quick google search for deals. But I'm not one of those people whose entire life revolves around getting free toothpaste so I can store it in my garage until it goes bad (seriously, who needs that much toothpaste?).
I would be impressed if the guy took me to something awesome and was able to be frugal doing it. I'm turned off by people that do things that are expensive and pointless simply to impress. The last guy I dated made this mistake, instead of being cool and chill like I knew he could be, our two official dates ended up at expensive, trendy places where we were both clearly uncomfortable and made for bad dates. I guess I'm just a weirdo.0 -
1) Neutral. (Eh, whatever)
And why?
I would be neutral. I would think it was nice for him to ask me out and want to pay. How he pays I really don't care about. I like to save my money so I wouldn't mind a man who likes to do the same. If he has it to spend it that's fine also but not everyone is made of money.
The last person I was with was not careful with his money at all and complained to me about his money issues. That really turned me off because I thought to myself just live with what you can afford then. I knew fundamentally we were not right for each other based on this. I ended things shortly after his money issues arised.0 -
I think the point about getting creative with what you have is important here. A cheap first date involving a walk somewhere nice, coffee/frozen yogurt/ free museum I'd be down for, but a restaurant that someone needs a coupon to afford- not so down for. Being creative involves thought and lets someone know you value their potential, but just picking somewhere because you have a coupon messages "I'm kind of lazy about planning this and don't want to waste money in case you suck"
I don't see anything wrong wih that. Nearly every post in here about online dating talks about all the bad dates and how people are rarely how they present themselves in their profiles and preliminary messages. There is a high probability that you will suck.
I wouldn't drop massive dollars on someone I didn't know either...but coffee or ice cream is a cheaper option.
Question...how about pulling out a punch card on a date? You know, buy ten coffees and get one free.0 -
I think the point about getting creative with what you have is important here. A cheap first date involving a walk somewhere nice, coffee/frozen yogurt/ free museum I'd be down for, but a restaurant that someone needs a coupon to afford- not so down for. Being creative involves thought and lets someone know you value their potential, but just picking somewhere because you have a coupon messages "I'm kind of lazy about planning this and don't want to waste money in case you suck"
I don't see anything wrong wih that. Nearly every post in here about online dating talks about all the bad dates and how people are rarely how they present themselves in their profiles and preliminary messages. There is a high probability that you will suck.
I wouldn't drop massive dollars on someone I didn't know either...but coffee or ice cream is a cheaper option.
Question...how about pulling out a punch card on a date? You know, buy ten coffees and get one free.
Would you be wondering if the guy took 5 other women on a coffee date before you? You will be now! :laugh:0 -
I think the point about getting creative with what you have is important here. A cheap first date involving a walk somewhere nice, coffee/frozen yogurt/ free museum I'd be down for, but a restaurant that someone needs a coupon to afford- not so down for. Being creative involves thought and lets someone know you value their potential, but just picking somewhere because you have a coupon messages "I'm kind of lazy about planning this and don't want to waste money in case you suck"
I don't see anything wrong wih that. Nearly every post in here about online dating talks about all the bad dates and how people are rarely how they present themselves in their profiles and preliminary messages. There is a high probability that you will suck.
I wouldn't drop massive dollars on someone I didn't know either...but coffee or ice cream is a cheaper option.
Question...how about pulling out a punch card on a date? You know, buy ten coffees and get one free.
Would you be wondering if the guy took 5 other women on a coffee date before you? You will be now! :laugh:
Is it weird that that thought would never even cross my mind? I'd just assume he liked the place.0 -
I think the point about getting creative with what you have is important here. A cheap first date involving a walk somewhere nice, coffee/frozen yogurt/ free museum I'd be down for, but a restaurant that someone needs a coupon to afford- not so down for. Being creative involves thought and lets someone know you value their potential, but just picking somewhere because you have a coupon messages "I'm kind of lazy about planning this and don't want to waste money in case you suck"
I don't see anything wrong wih that. Nearly every post in here about online dating talks about all the bad dates and how people are rarely how they present themselves in their profiles and preliminary messages. There is a high probability that you will suck.
I wouldn't drop massive dollars on someone I didn't know either...but coffee or ice cream is a cheaper option.
Question...how about pulling out a punch card on a date? You know, buy ten coffees and get one free.
Would you be wondering if the guy took 5 other women on a coffee date before you? You will be now! :laugh:
Is it weird that that thought would never even cross my mind? I'd just assume he liked the place.
I'm with ya on that one. I like to think not everyone has a game.
But anyway, the person could end up taking all their dates to the same Applebee's? Money doesn't matter then really.0 -
It wouldnt impress me on a first date. I don't think anything is wrong with it, just that its not something I would be impressed by. And impressing each other is what first dates are about. :flowerforyou:
Agreed.
Now maybe after a few months of dating whip out the coupon for sure. lol0 -
I think if money is such a worry, I'd rather meet a date for lunch rather than dinner, or coffee rather than lunch. It's about meeting each other and talking to see if there's any potential for further. As julesboot said "I'd also be worried about some kind of pathological cheapness- like hours a day counting pennies and clipping coupons." Carl referred to this as another "non personality issue", but to me it could hint at someone's cheap personality.If someone is spending too much on first dates, they need to pick cheaper/free venues to meet or be more selective! The coupon should be saved for a later date.
So you think it's better to go to a cheap place and spend the same amount as if you went to a nice place with a coupon? Doesn't the coupon show that they are being thoughtful and selective? They're bringing you to a nice place, and affording it at the same time, while thinking ahead.
A coupon for a first date is something I would be turned off by because that is not the kind of first impression that would woo me. I would welcome it being used as an excuse for a second date! To be honest, I've never dated anyone who couldn't afford dinner at a decent place - as someone else said, ethnic restaurants are cheap and I'm all for foreign cuisine. If someone can't afford that kind of early date with me, I would wonder about his finances and think that his attitude toward spending doesn't mesh with mine if $20-$30 at a cheap restaurant is an extravagance.
There's a time and a place for everything, and usually it's not on a first date.0 -
Personally I could careless about looking impressive on a first date, I want them to get a good long look at what they really would have to deal with if we continued on. And like I've said before only one didn't want a 2nd date and that was because 6' was too short for her.
So anyway... I say if you're a coupon user than use that *kitten*!! And if the person has a problem with it, they probably weren't right for you anyway.0 -
Personally I could careless about looking impressive on a first date, I want them to get a good long look at what they really would have to deal with if we continued on. And like I've said before only one didn't want a 2nd date and that was because 6' was too short for her.
So anyway... I say if you're a coupon user than use that *kitten*!! And if the person has a problem with it, they probably weren't right for you anyway.
All right Mister .. I think we need to do an intervention with you! You are quite ho-hum about women these days. Did this last girl break your heart? Shall Anna and I come kick her @ss?? What is going on with you?!0 -
Personally I could careless about looking impressive on a first date, I want them to get a good long look at what they really would have to deal with if we continued on. And like I've said before only one didn't want a 2nd date and that was because 6' was too short for her.
So anyway... I say if you're a coupon user than use that *kitten*!! And if the person has a problem with it, they probably weren't right for you anyway.
Still don't get the girl that thought you were too short. Wtf!?0 -
Personally I could careless about looking impressive on a first date, I want them to get a good long look at what they really would have to deal with if we continued on. And like I've said before only one didn't want a 2nd date and that was because 6' was too short for her.
So anyway... I say if you're a coupon user than use that *kitten*!! And if the person has a problem with it, they probably weren't right for you anyway.
All right Mister .. I think we need to do an intervention with you! You are quite ho-hum about women these days. Did this last girl break your heart? Shall Anna and I come kick her @ss?? What is going on with you?!
No way, I don't see anything wrong with his mentality. "What you see is what you get" should be the attitude everyone has in my opinion.
so Poncho, I got this groupon for ice skating... hahaha0 -
I think if money is such a worry, I'd rather meet a date for lunch rather than dinner, or coffee rather than lunch. It's about meeting each other and talking to see if there's any potential for further. As julesboot said "I'd also be worried about some kind of pathological cheapness- like hours a day counting pennies and clipping coupons." Carl referred to this as another "non personality issue", but to me it could hint at someone's cheap personality.If someone is spending too much on first dates, they need to pick cheaper/free venues to meet or be more selective! The coupon should be saved for a later date.
So you think it's better to go to a cheap place and spend the same amount as if you went to a nice place with a coupon? Doesn't the coupon show that they are being thoughtful and selective? They're bringing you to a nice place, and affording it at the same time, while thinking ahead.
A coupon for a first date is something I would be turned off by because that is not the kind of first impression that would woo me. I would welcome it being used as an excuse for a second date! To be honest, I've never dated anyone who couldn't afford dinner at a decent place - as someone else said, ethnic restaurants are cheap and I'm all for foreign cuisine. If someone can't afford that kind of early date with me, I would wonder about his finances and think that his attitude toward spending doesn't mesh with mine if $20-$30 at a cheap restaurant is an extravagance.
There's a time and a place for everything, and usually it's not on a first date.
Mellie you always hit the nail on the head.
Do I use coupons? Yes, but I don't base what I do and eat off them. If I'm in the mood for Perkins and I have a coupon, lets go. But if I want Applebee's and I don't have a coupon, so be it.
I don't need to date anyone wealthy. But I want to be able to go out and have fun without worrying about money. I don't want to date a cheapskate, nor do i need to date a man who can fly me on weekend trips.
I want to date a responsible man but I don't wanna date someone who gawks at me dropping $300 on a Coach purse. That's my fun money! I am frugal in many other ways to make up for it0 -
Personally I could careless about looking impressive on a first date, I want them to get a good long look at what they really would have to deal with if we continued on. And like I've said before only one didn't want a 2nd date and that was because 6' was too short for her.
So anyway... I say if you're a coupon user than use that *kitten*!! And if the person has a problem with it, they probably weren't right for you anyway.
All right Mister .. I think we need to do an intervention with you! You are quite ho-hum about women these days. Did this last girl break your heart? Shall Anna and I come kick her @ss?? What is going on with you?!
I'm just fine... I'm not the easiest human to deal with so instead of playing games I've just cut the *kitten* and let them have it. I'm not looking for anything short-term so I need someone that can deal for the long run. Tricks and games only work for a little while.0 -
Personally I could careless about looking impressive on a first date, I want them to get a good long look at what they really would have to deal with if we continued on. And like I've said before only one didn't want a 2nd date and that was because 6' was too short for her.
So anyway... I say if you're a coupon user than use that *kitten*!! And if the person has a problem with it, they probably weren't right for you anyway.
All right Mister .. I think we need to do an intervention with you! You are quite ho-hum about women these days. Did this last girl break your heart? Shall Anna and I come kick her @ss?? What is going on with you?!
I'm just fine... I'm not the easiest human to deal with so instead of playing games I've just cut the *kitten* and let them have it. I'm not looking for anything short-term so I need someone that can deal for the long run. Tricks and games only work for a little while.
I agree that if you're not an easy human to deal with then you shouldn't pretend you are! :laugh:
The thing is though, if you ever meet a woman that bowls you over (which seems to be the problem atm) I bet your *kitten* starts acting human again!! :bigsmile:0 -
Personally I could careless about looking impressive on a first date, I want them to get a good long look at what they really would have to deal with if we continued on. And like I've said before only one didn't want a 2nd date and that was because 6' was too short for her.
So anyway... I say if you're a coupon user than use that *kitten*!! And if the person has a problem with it, they probably weren't right for you anyway.
All right Mister .. I think we need to do an intervention with you! You are quite ho-hum about women these days. Did this last girl break your heart? Shall Anna and I come kick her @ss?? What is going on with you?!
I'm just fine... I'm not the easiest human to deal with so instead of playing games I've just cut the *kitten* and let them have it. I'm not looking for anything short-term so I need someone that can deal for the long run. Tricks and games only work for a little while.
I agree that if you're not an easy human to deal with then you shouldn't pretend you are! :laugh:
The thing is though, if you ever meet a woman that bowls you over (which seems to be the problem atm) I bet your *kitten* starts acting human again!! :bigsmile:
Wait, what about that is inhuman?0 -
Personally I could careless about looking impressive on a first date, I want them to get a good long look at what they really would have to deal with if we continued on. And like I've said before only one didn't want a 2nd date and that was because 6' was too short for her.
So anyway... I say if you're a coupon user than use that *kitten*!! And if the person has a problem with it, they probably weren't right for you anyway.
All right Mister .. I think we need to do an intervention with you! You are quite ho-hum about women these days. Did this last girl break your heart? Shall Anna and I come kick her @ss?? What is going on with you?!
I'm just fine... I'm not the easiest human to deal with so instead of playing games I've just cut the *kitten* and let them have it. I'm not looking for anything short-term so I need someone that can deal for the long run. Tricks and games only work for a little while.
I agree that if you're not an easy human to deal with then you shouldn't pretend you are! :laugh:
The thing is though, if you ever meet a woman that bowls you over (which seems to be the problem atm) I bet your *kitten* starts acting human again!! :bigsmile:
I didn't say I was a *kitten* on the date... just that I'm not pulling any strings to be impressive.0 -
I would be turned off if he used a coupon in the beginning. I would feel he feels too comfortable with me and is not trying to impress me. Sorry, but for me, dating starts with impressing me. That's usually how a man stands out beyond the rest. It doesn't mean he has to spend tons of money on dinner... if you're on a budget, take me somewhere like Chedder's which is very reasonable but don't use a coupon.
Now fast forward a bit where it's appropriate that we feel more comfortable with one another, say 4-5 dates later, then by all means, use a coupon. But being too comfortable too soon isn't very appealing.0 -
Personally I could careless about looking impressive on a first date, I want them to get a good long look at what they really would have to deal with if we continued on. And like I've said before only one didn't want a 2nd date and that was because 6' was too short for her.
So anyway... I say if you're a coupon user than use that *kitten*!! And if the person has a problem with it, they probably weren't right for you anyway.
All right Mister .. I think we need to do an intervention with you! You are quite ho-hum about women these days. Did this last girl break your heart? Shall Anna and I come kick her @ss?? What is going on with you?!
I'm just fine... I'm not the easiest human to deal with so instead of playing games I've just cut the *kitten* and let them have it. I'm not looking for anything short-term so I need someone that can deal for the long run. Tricks and games only work for a little while.
I agree that if you're not an easy human to deal with then you shouldn't pretend you are! :laugh:
The thing is though, if you ever meet a woman that bowls you over (which seems to be the problem atm) I bet your *kitten* starts acting human again!! :bigsmile:
I didn't say I was a *kitten* on the date... just that I'm not pulling any strings to be impressive.
OMG I love it when Americans say '*kitten*'!!!!
Say it again..............go on..............go on.....................:bigsmile:
BTW - IMO paying by voucher would be the behaviour of a *kitten*!!!
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I would be turned off if he used a coupon in the beginning. I would feel he feels too comfortable with me and is not trying to impress me. Sorry, but for me, dating starts with impressing me. That's usually how a man stands out beyond the rest. It doesn't mean he has to spend tons of money on dinner... if you're on a budget, take me somewhere like Chedder's which is very reasonable but don't use a coupon.
Now fast forward a bit where it's appropriate that we feel more comfortable with one another, say 4-5 dates later, then by all means, use a coupon. But being too comfortable too soon isn't very appealing.
I agree. I try to look nice and make a good impression so why shouldn't he? It's not about the cost, it's about the intention. If I showed up in sweats, no makeup and not groomed then I'm sending a message that he's not important enough to me to make an effort. I think it's the same with the coupon... it shows a lack of effort. There are lots of inexpensive options available - you shouldn't need to use a coupon until you know each other a little better.0 -
Sorry, but for me, dating starts with impressing me.
Thinking like this is why so many guys lie and BS you gals. In fact this actually make it easier for the bad guys to look good.0 -
Sorry, but for me, dating starts with impressing me.
Thinking like this is why so many guys lie and BS you gals. In fact this actually make it easier for the bad guys to look good.
Agree with Poncho!0 -
Sorry, but for me, dating starts with impressing me.
Thinking like this is why so many guys lie and BS you gals. In fact this actually make it easier for the bad guys to look good.
Hmmm. I can understand this BUT... same thing with me. Sure there are bad guys, liars, players, etc out there- both men and women. It's my job to discern which men are.
I'd never wear sweats, my hair up in a messy bun, flip flops and a tee shirt on a first date (ME personally). But by date 4-5, I might. Let's say the fella comes over for dinner, I might just tell him, "come comfy". To me, it means I'm more comfortable with him and myself in a laid back environment. This has nothing to do with deceit, lying, BSing, etc. Same thing with burping, farting, singing loudly. There are stages in dating. If you're friends with someone before dating, I can imagine some stages (like the first formal impressive stage) is skipped but all the men I've been dating are either online or guys I've met while out. I'd never burp in the beginning in front of these guys. No way! Do I burp? YES. Do I want a significant other I can burp in front of and be myself?? YES. But it takes time to feel comfortable.
This is how I see coupons.0 -
Sorry, but for me, dating starts with impressing me.
Thinking like this is why so many guys lie and BS you gals. In fact this actually make it easier for the bad guys to look good.
Hmmm. I can understand this BUT... same thing with me. Sure there are bad guys, liars, players, etc out there- both men and women. It's my job to discern which men are.
I'd never wear sweats, my hair up in a messy bun, flip flops and a tee shirt on a first date (ME personally). But by date 4-5, I might. Let's say the fella comes over for dinner, I might just tell him, "come comfy". To me, it means I'm more comfortable with him and myself in a laid back environment. This has nothing to do with deceit, lying, BSing, etc. Same thing with burping, farting, singing loudly. There are stages in dating. If you're friends with someone before dating, I can imagine some stages (like the first formal impressive stage) is skipped but all the men I've been dating are either online or guys I've met while out. I'd never burp in the beginning in front of these guys. No way! Do I burp? YES. Do I want a significant other I can burp in front of and be myself?? YES. But it takes time to feel comfortable.
This is how I see coupons.
Perfectly worded.0 -
How about a greasy, stinky, slightly yellow coupon that I get out of my underpants on the first date? Is that a turn on?No way! Do I burp? YES. Do I want a significant other I can burp in front of and be myself?? YES. But it takes time to feel comfortable.
This is how I see coupons.
* girl gives the look, guy realises *
- What? Oh... This? *smile* That's where I keep my most precious things... you might get to have a look in there one day. 0 -
There is a thing called "class" and any guy that has it isn't going to wear sweats and then *kitten* them to top it off on a date. What I'm talking about is things out of character that a guy is going to do just to impress you. Like borrowing his friends awesome car to take you out, or exaggerating his job, bringing you gifts, agreeing with everything you say, paying with $100 dollar bills.
The impress me attitude is going to make people naturally over compensate leading to a lot of bs that eventually they won't be able to sustain.0 -
There are stages in dating.
:yawn:
IMO if you date in stages you're always going to hit the "break up stage"0 -
There is a thing called "class" and any guy that has it isn't going to wear sweats and then *kitten* them to top it off on a date. What I'm talking about is things out of character that a guy is going to do just to impress you. Like borrowing his friends awesome car to take you out, or exaggerating his job, bringing you gifts, agreeing with everything you say, paying with $100 dollar bills.
The impress me attitude is going to make people naturally over compensate leading to a lot of bs that eventually they won't be able to sustain.
See, with these examples you used here, I agree. And I'd say a fella like that was a player, complete fraud, and I'd probably never date him again. But coupons in the beginning, IMO, is completely different.0
