my mom's advice
christine24t
Posts: 6,063 Member
Tonight, my mom said, "if I was single, I'd hang out at Fleet Farm to meet boys."
My mom is hysterical...and there are hot guys there, but am I just supposed to walk around the store and hope one hits on me? Good intentions from my mom though!
Do your parents or friends ever give you funny or random dating advice?
And if you don't know, Fleet Farm is kinda like a K-Mart mixed with a sporting goods store. Tons of hunting and fishing stuff but also shoes, appliances, furniture, etc.
It is known as "the man's mall."
My mom is hysterical...and there are hot guys there, but am I just supposed to walk around the store and hope one hits on me? Good intentions from my mom though!
Do your parents or friends ever give you funny or random dating advice?
And if you don't know, Fleet Farm is kinda like a K-Mart mixed with a sporting goods store. Tons of hunting and fishing stuff but also shoes, appliances, furniture, etc.
It is known as "the man's mall."
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Replies
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sounds like REI here in cali.
it's a good idea. check to see if they outdoorsy type classes. i just found out REI has a bunch.. it's stuff like how to read a compass, put up a tent, take outdoor photos, etc. i plan on taking a few classes not only because hot guys might be there (which i hear they are) but also becaue stuff like that is good to know0 -
Great advice, do it!! :bigsmile:0
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The advice makes sense. You need to be in the right sorts of places. Women have it easier in this regard because there are a lot of types of places that tend to be sausage fests.
But hanging out in the right places is no guarantee of success. The right guys need to be there at the right times. But more importantly, you need to have the right traits. Think of it this way.......
1. Imagine the kind of guy who you want to be with
2. Imagine the kind of woman that guy who you desire is typically with
3. Be that woman
The same process goes for men, just in reverse.0 -
My mom has told me in a variety of ways to "dress like a slut" when I go to the gym.
Those may not have been her exact words, but it was well implied.0 -
My mom hasn't come up with anything like that, but I myself thought maybe hanging out at Home Depot could be promising. Wrong! Whenever I've gone, I've had lots of helpful employees (well on either side of what I think is a reasonable age range or married) offer to assist me as soon as I walk up an isle or I see men wandering with wives and kids. (BTW, I don't go there for nothing though - I have a place in need of lots of DIY work I'm working on.)0
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That is what Moms do.
They love ya so they try to help in any way they can.
But yeah, don't hang around Farm and Fleet, lol.0 -
My mom has told me in a variety of ways to "dress like a slut" when I go to the gym.
Those may not have been her exact words, but it was well implied.
Wise woman. ;-)
--P0 -
My mom has told me in a variety of ways to "dress like a slut" when I go to the gym.
Those may not have been her exact words, but it was well implied.
lolololol0 -
My mom has told me in a variety of ways to "dress like a slut" when I go to the gym.
Those may not have been her exact words, but it was well implied.
If a woman has a nice body, shows it off and has personable non verbals, she'll attract male interest at the gym, have productive conversations and have more dating/mating options than if she didn't take this course of action.0 -
The advice makes sense. You need to be in the right sorts of places. Women have it easier in this regard because there are a lot of types of places that tend to be sausage fests.
But hanging out in the right places is no guarantee of success. The right guys need to be there at the right times. But more importantly, you need to have the right traits. Think of it this way.......
1. Imagine the kind of guy who you want to be with
2. Imagine the kind of woman that guy who you desire is typically with
3. Be that woman
The same process goes for men, just in reverse.
Not to start an argument, but I have a question. Should you fake who you are to attract someone? I am the kinda girl who wants someone who shops at Fleet Farm, but I was the type of girl who wears dresses and five inch heels, and I want to date a man who is very good with his hands, should I pretend to be someone I'm not? Because that guy probalby wouldn't be into me.0 -
The advice makes sense. You need to be in the right sorts of places. Women have it easier in this regard because there are a lot of types of places that tend to be sausage fests.
But hanging out in the right places is no guarantee of success. The right guys need to be there at the right times. But more importantly, you need to have the right traits. Think of it this way.......
1. Imagine the kind of guy who you want to be with
2. Imagine the kind of woman that guy who you desire is typically with
3. Be that woman
The same process goes for men, just in reverse.
Not to start an argument, but I have a question. Should you fake who you are to attract someone? I am the kinda girl who wants someone who shops at Fleet Farm, but I was the type of girl who wears dresses and five inch heels, and I want to date a man who is very good with his hands, should I pretend to be someone I'm not? Because that guy probalby wouldn't be into me.
i think you're looking at it too much. you mom is basically saying that if you want to meet men, you should hag out where men are.
i have so many female friends who can't meet guys but they only go places where women and gay men go and then they wonder why they never meet straight guys :laugh:0 -
The advice makes sense. You need to be in the right sorts of places. Women have it easier in this regard because there are a lot of types of places that tend to be sausage fests.
But hanging out in the right places is no guarantee of success. The right guys need to be there at the right times. But more importantly, you need to have the right traits. Think of it this way.......
1. Imagine the kind of guy who you want to be with
2. Imagine the kind of woman that guy who you desire is typically with
3. Be that woman
The same process goes for men, just in reverse.
Not to start an argument, but I have a question. Should you fake who you are to attract someone? I am the kinda girl who wants someone who shops at Fleet Farm, but I was the type of girl who wears dresses and five inch heels, and I want to date a man who is very good with his hands, should I pretend to be someone I'm not? Because that guy probalby wouldn't be into me.
i think you're looking at it too much. you mom is basically saying that if you want to meet men, you should hag out where men are.
i have so many female friends who can't meet guys but they only go places where women and gay men go and then they wonder why they never meet straight guys :laugh:
Sorry if it wasn't clear, I'm responding to DM, who says to imagine the kind of man you want to be with, and become the woman he would want. My question is isn't that lying and being dishonest? Lets say I decide I want to meet a stockbroker. Should I start hanging out at places they hang out after work and pretend to be interested in finance? Or should I be myself and hopefully that stockbroker will be into regardless of me not being his usual type?
My moms advice was spot on for me though, she knows me well.0 -
Not to start an argument, but I have a question. Should you fake who you are to attract someone? I am the kinda girl who wants someone who shops at Fleet Farm, but I was the type of girl who wears dresses and five inch heels, and I want to date a man who is very good with his hands, should I pretend to be someone I'm not? Because that guy probalby wouldn't be into me.
This is the concept of inner game vs. outer game. Inner game is your mindset and how you define yourself. Outer game is what you exhibit to the outside world.
Inner game is not faking it. No, you can't change your essence in full, but you can change things about yourself which can change your inner perception, and this can change external behaviors and external perceptions. You can lose weight, take up new hobbies, buy a new wardrobe, etc. That's not being fake. A person can work on their body language, being more outgoing, etc.
A lot of it is seeing things from an "others perspective". Can you, with who you are, make a good presentation and give good reasons (logical and/or emotional) for someone to be with you?
A woman who wears dresses and heels will have opportunities to meet men who are good with their hands rather easily.0 -
The advice makes sense. You need to be in the right sorts of places. Women have it easier in this regard because there are a lot of types of places that tend to be sausage fests.
But hanging out in the right places is no guarantee of success. The right guys need to be there at the right times. But more importantly, you need to have the right traits. Think of it this way.......
1. Imagine the kind of guy who you want to be with
2. Imagine the kind of woman that guy who you desire is typically with
3. Be that woman
The same process goes for men, just in reverse.
Not to start an argument, but I have a question. Should you fake who you are to attract someone? I am the kinda girl who wants someone who shops at Fleet Farm, but I was the type of girl who wears dresses and five inch heels, and I want to date a man who is very good with his hands, should I pretend to be someone I'm not? Because that guy probalby wouldn't be into me.
I dont think that any relationship formed on the basis of fake anything is going to survive. What's that movie when the girl got found out for lying about her whole existance and the guy dumped her on the pre wedding party when the sister played a video?
Anyway...
Neither do I think its correct to assume that a man good with his hands isnt attracted to dresses and heels!! Au contraire! Men of all persuasions are attracted to ermmm......women!
There are no set rules in the laws of attraction. It just happens that two people attract and are right for each other :flowerforyou:0 -
My mom has told me in a variety of ways to "dress like a slut" when I go to the gym.
Those may not have been her exact words, but it was well implied.
If a woman has a nice body, shows it off and has personable non verbals, she'll attract male interest at the gym, have productive conversations and have more dating/mating options than if she didn't take this course of action.
That sounds like a National Geographic voice-over for a documentary on "Homosapien Dating Habits, Episode 8: the Gym."
--P0 -
The advice makes sense. You need to be in the right sorts of places. Women have it easier in this regard because there are a lot of types of places that tend to be sausage fests.
But hanging out in the right places is no guarantee of success. The right guys need to be there at the right times. But more importantly, you need to have the right traits. Think of it this way.......
1. Imagine the kind of guy who you want to be with
2. Imagine the kind of woman that guy who you desire is typically with
3. Be that woman
The same process goes for men, just in reverse.
Not to start an argument, but I have a question. Should you fake who you are to attract someone? I am the kinda girl who wants someone who shops at Fleet Farm, but I was the type of girl who wears dresses and five inch heels, and I want to date a man who is very good with his hands, should I pretend to be someone I'm not? Because that guy probalby wouldn't be into me.
Is this before or after your cosmetic surgery?
--P0 -
Inner game is not faking it. No, you can't change your essence in full, but you can change things about yourself which can change your inner perception, and this can change external behaviors and external perceptions.
I'll drink to that.
--P0 -
What's that movie when the girl got found out for lying about her whole existance and the guy dumped her on the pre wedding party when the sister played a video?
You're thinking of Titanic.
--P0 -
What's that movie when the girl got found out for lying about her whole existance and the guy dumped her on the pre wedding party when the sister played a video?
You're thinking of Titanic.
--P
No, I'm not! :laugh:0 -
What's that movie when the girl got found out for lying about her whole existance and the guy dumped her on the pre wedding party when the sister played a video?
You're thinking of Titanic.
--P
No, I'm not! :laugh:
Apocalypse Now?
--P0 -
What's that movie when the girl got found out for lying about her whole existance and the guy dumped her on the pre wedding party when the sister played a video?
You're thinking of Titanic.
--P
No, I'm not! :laugh:
Apocalypse Now?
--P
The Iron Lady?
--P0 -
I think, assuming most stockbrokers are interested in a specific type of women, and assuming you are only looking for a stockbroker, then I'd change some aspects of myself to be more compatible with stockbrokers. Harsh but true.Lets say I decide I want to meet a stockbroker. Should I start hanging out at places they hang out after work and pretend to be interested in finance? Or should I be myself and hopefully that stockbroker will be into regardless of me not being his usual type?
If you decide not to change anything about you in this case, then you're unlikely to end up with a stockbroker (except as you said if you hope that one stockbroker will be into you despite you not being his usual type). And you will probably end up unhappy, waiting forever for a stockbroker.
Similarly, if I am interested in female marathon runners, it is unlikely I will interest one if I spend my evening and weekends eating and watching TV, and am overweight.
There is still a chance even if I am like that, but if I am realistic, it is just unlikely. You're setting yourself up for failure by "hoping".
So to reply to this...
No. It's called "changing" and "adapting", but you are still yourself and growing. When I was 10 years old, I was as much me as I am now that I am older. When I was overweight, I was as much me as I am now. When you will have learnt about finance, you will be as much yourself as you are now.Sorry if it wasn't clear, I'm responding to DM, who says to imagine the kind of man you want to be with, and become the woman he would want. My question is isn't that lying and being dishonest?
You are just more versatile.
If you really hate running (in my example), then I doubt you would be pursuing marathon runners to be honest so you should be "more or less okay" with running or being whatever stockbrokers are looking for to be happy to be with one.0 -
When I was overweight, I was as much me as I am now.
Actually, more so.
--P0 -
The advice makes sense. You need to be in the right sorts of places. Women have it easier in this regard because there are a lot of types of places that tend to be sausage fests.
But hanging out in the right places is no guarantee of success. The right guys need to be there at the right times. But more importantly, you need to have the right traits. Think of it this way.......
1. Imagine the kind of guy who you want to be with
2. Imagine the kind of woman that guy who you desire is typically with
3. Be that woman
The same process goes for men, just in reverse.
Not to start an argument, but I have a question. Should you fake who you are to attract someone? I am the kinda girl who wants someone who shops at Fleet Farm, but I was the type of girl who wears dresses and five inch heels, and I want to date a man who is very good with his hands, should I pretend to be someone I'm not? Because that guy probalby wouldn't be into me.
Is this before or after your cosmetic surgery?
--P
Is that an insult?? Or am I reading it wrong?
This is all hypothetical. I've never met a stockbroker. It's just for the sake of discussion. I'm attracted to a man who has a job he works hard at, doesn't matter the job.0 -
The advice makes sense. You need to be in the right sorts of places. Women have it easier in this regard because there are a lot of types of places that tend to be sausage fests.
But hanging out in the right places is no guarantee of success. The right guys need to be there at the right times. But more importantly, you need to have the right traits. Think of it this way.......
1. Imagine the kind of guy who you want to be with
2. Imagine the kind of woman that guy who you desire is typically with
3. Be that woman
The same process goes for men, just in reverse.
Not to start an argument, but I have a question. Should you fake who you are to attract someone? I am the kinda girl who wants someone who shops at Fleet Farm, but I was the type of girl who wears dresses and five inch heels, and I want to date a man who is very good with his hands, should I pretend to be someone I'm not? Because that guy probalby wouldn't be into me.
Is this before or after your cosmetic surgery?
--P
Is that an insult?? Or am I reading it wrong?
This is all hypothetical. I've never met a stockbroker. It's just for the sake of discussion. I'm attracted to a man who has a job he works hard at, doesn't matter the job.
It's the second option (you're reading it wrong).
It's a play on DM's advice to change yourself to attract a mate. Although I now realize he was only talking about changing part of your inner essence, in order to change the outer perception of your inner beauty, or something like that.
--P0 -
The advice makes sense. You need to be in the right sorts of places. Women have it easier in this regard because there are a lot of types of places that tend to be sausage fests.
But hanging out in the right places is no guarantee of success. The right guys need to be there at the right times. But more importantly, you need to have the right traits. Think of it this way.......
1. Imagine the kind of guy who you want to be with
2. Imagine the kind of woman that guy who you desire is typically with
3. Be that woman
The same process goes for men, just in reverse.
Not to start an argument, but I have a question. Should you fake who you are to attract someone? I am the kinda girl who wants someone who shops at Fleet Farm, but I was the type of girl who wears dresses and five inch heels, and I want to date a man who is very good with his hands, should I pretend to be someone I'm not? Because that guy probalby wouldn't be into me.
Is this before or after your cosmetic surgery?
--P
Is that an insult?? Or am I reading it wrong?
This is all hypothetical. I've never met a stockbroker. It's just for the sake of discussion. I'm attracted to a man who has a job he works hard at, doesn't matter the job.
It's the second option (you're reading it wrong).
It's a play on DM's advice to change yourself to attract a mate. Although I now realize he was only talking about changing part of your inner essence, in order to change the outer perception of your inner beauty, or something like that.
--P
Haha okay I guess I'm not that intelligent to read into the sarcasm!0 -
When I was overweight, I was as much me as I am now.
Actually, more so.
--P
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Are you on the vodka tonight P??? lol0 -
When I was overweight, I was as much me as I am now.
Actually, more so.
--P
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Are you on the vodka tonight P??? lol
I think he is... And I love it!0 -
No. It's called "changing" and "adapting", but you are still yourself and growing.Sorry if it wasn't clear, I'm responding to DM, who says to imagine the kind of man you want to be with, and become the woman he would want. My question is isn't that lying and being dishonest?
I think walking around a sporting goods store in hopes of possibly meeting a guy and faking who you are to be with someone are completely different. The first option does not change the essence of WHO you are, it simply changes your proximity to the type of man you claim to like and is very proactive. If you ever met a guy there, what do you have to fake? That you were bored one afternoon and spent some time in a store that you might not normally go into? That won't change the essence of who you are as someone mentioned above.0 -
LOL!! My mom laughs and says she can tell when it's been a long time between dates, because I'm frequenting Home Depot more often. But, seriously...I just have projects to work on around the house. Really. Unfortunately Home Depot has done nothing for me. I don't know if it's timing or what. I've had older gentleman (grandfatherly) chat me up and say it's refreshing to see such a nice young lady in there, but nobody in my age range. lol
Now my girlfriends have a different opinion on this.... one girlfriend told me which route to run one morning as I was trying to add miles to my normal route. I knew I was running by a small airport. What I didn't know is that there is a fire station across the road from it. She just said "you're welcome" when we met for lunch later. My other girlfriend (at work) has actually written out a schedule of the "best" times to hit the gym....really. I love my friends but I think they're a little crazy.0
This discussion has been closed.