my mom's advice
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What's that movie when the girl got found out for lying about her whole existance and the guy dumped her on the pre wedding party when the sister played a video?
You're thinking of Titanic.
--P
No, I'm not! :laugh:
Apocalypse Now?
--P
The Iron Lady?
--P0 -
I think, assuming most stockbrokers are interested in a specific type of women, and assuming you are only looking for a stockbroker, then I'd change some aspects of myself to be more compatible with stockbrokers. Harsh but true.Lets say I decide I want to meet a stockbroker. Should I start hanging out at places they hang out after work and pretend to be interested in finance? Or should I be myself and hopefully that stockbroker will be into regardless of me not being his usual type?
If you decide not to change anything about you in this case, then you're unlikely to end up with a stockbroker (except as you said if you hope that one stockbroker will be into you despite you not being his usual type). And you will probably end up unhappy, waiting forever for a stockbroker.
Similarly, if I am interested in female marathon runners, it is unlikely I will interest one if I spend my evening and weekends eating and watching TV, and am overweight.
There is still a chance even if I am like that, but if I am realistic, it is just unlikely. You're setting yourself up for failure by "hoping".
So to reply to this...
No. It's called "changing" and "adapting", but you are still yourself and growing. When I was 10 years old, I was as much me as I am now that I am older. When I was overweight, I was as much me as I am now. When you will have learnt about finance, you will be as much yourself as you are now.Sorry if it wasn't clear, I'm responding to DM, who says to imagine the kind of man you want to be with, and become the woman he would want. My question is isn't that lying and being dishonest?
You are just more versatile.
If you really hate running (in my example), then I doubt you would be pursuing marathon runners to be honest so you should be "more or less okay" with running or being whatever stockbrokers are looking for to be happy to be with one.0 -
When I was overweight, I was as much me as I am now.
Actually, more so.
--P0 -
The advice makes sense. You need to be in the right sorts of places. Women have it easier in this regard because there are a lot of types of places that tend to be sausage fests.
But hanging out in the right places is no guarantee of success. The right guys need to be there at the right times. But more importantly, you need to have the right traits. Think of it this way.......
1. Imagine the kind of guy who you want to be with
2. Imagine the kind of woman that guy who you desire is typically with
3. Be that woman
The same process goes for men, just in reverse.
Not to start an argument, but I have a question. Should you fake who you are to attract someone? I am the kinda girl who wants someone who shops at Fleet Farm, but I was the type of girl who wears dresses and five inch heels, and I want to date a man who is very good with his hands, should I pretend to be someone I'm not? Because that guy probalby wouldn't be into me.
Is this before or after your cosmetic surgery?
--P
Is that an insult?? Or am I reading it wrong?
This is all hypothetical. I've never met a stockbroker. It's just for the sake of discussion. I'm attracted to a man who has a job he works hard at, doesn't matter the job.0 -
The advice makes sense. You need to be in the right sorts of places. Women have it easier in this regard because there are a lot of types of places that tend to be sausage fests.
But hanging out in the right places is no guarantee of success. The right guys need to be there at the right times. But more importantly, you need to have the right traits. Think of it this way.......
1. Imagine the kind of guy who you want to be with
2. Imagine the kind of woman that guy who you desire is typically with
3. Be that woman
The same process goes for men, just in reverse.
Not to start an argument, but I have a question. Should you fake who you are to attract someone? I am the kinda girl who wants someone who shops at Fleet Farm, but I was the type of girl who wears dresses and five inch heels, and I want to date a man who is very good with his hands, should I pretend to be someone I'm not? Because that guy probalby wouldn't be into me.
Is this before or after your cosmetic surgery?
--P
Is that an insult?? Or am I reading it wrong?
This is all hypothetical. I've never met a stockbroker. It's just for the sake of discussion. I'm attracted to a man who has a job he works hard at, doesn't matter the job.
It's the second option (you're reading it wrong).
It's a play on DM's advice to change yourself to attract a mate. Although I now realize he was only talking about changing part of your inner essence, in order to change the outer perception of your inner beauty, or something like that.
--P0 -
The advice makes sense. You need to be in the right sorts of places. Women have it easier in this regard because there are a lot of types of places that tend to be sausage fests.
But hanging out in the right places is no guarantee of success. The right guys need to be there at the right times. But more importantly, you need to have the right traits. Think of it this way.......
1. Imagine the kind of guy who you want to be with
2. Imagine the kind of woman that guy who you desire is typically with
3. Be that woman
The same process goes for men, just in reverse.
Not to start an argument, but I have a question. Should you fake who you are to attract someone? I am the kinda girl who wants someone who shops at Fleet Farm, but I was the type of girl who wears dresses and five inch heels, and I want to date a man who is very good with his hands, should I pretend to be someone I'm not? Because that guy probalby wouldn't be into me.
Is this before or after your cosmetic surgery?
--P
Is that an insult?? Or am I reading it wrong?
This is all hypothetical. I've never met a stockbroker. It's just for the sake of discussion. I'm attracted to a man who has a job he works hard at, doesn't matter the job.
It's the second option (you're reading it wrong).
It's a play on DM's advice to change yourself to attract a mate. Although I now realize he was only talking about changing part of your inner essence, in order to change the outer perception of your inner beauty, or something like that.
--P
Haha okay I guess I'm not that intelligent to read into the sarcasm!0 -
When I was overweight, I was as much me as I am now.
Actually, more so.
--P
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Are you on the vodka tonight P??? lol0 -
When I was overweight, I was as much me as I am now.
Actually, more so.
--P
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Are you on the vodka tonight P??? lol
I think he is... And I love it!0 -
No. It's called "changing" and "adapting", but you are still yourself and growing.Sorry if it wasn't clear, I'm responding to DM, who says to imagine the kind of man you want to be with, and become the woman he would want. My question is isn't that lying and being dishonest?
I think walking around a sporting goods store in hopes of possibly meeting a guy and faking who you are to be with someone are completely different. The first option does not change the essence of WHO you are, it simply changes your proximity to the type of man you claim to like and is very proactive. If you ever met a guy there, what do you have to fake? That you were bored one afternoon and spent some time in a store that you might not normally go into? That won't change the essence of who you are as someone mentioned above.0 -
LOL!! My mom laughs and says she can tell when it's been a long time between dates, because I'm frequenting Home Depot more often. But, seriously...I just have projects to work on around the house. Really. Unfortunately Home Depot has done nothing for me. I don't know if it's timing or what. I've had older gentleman (grandfatherly) chat me up and say it's refreshing to see such a nice young lady in there, but nobody in my age range. lol
Now my girlfriends have a different opinion on this.... one girlfriend told me which route to run one morning as I was trying to add miles to my normal route. I knew I was running by a small airport. What I didn't know is that there is a fire station across the road from it. She just said "you're welcome" when we met for lunch later. My other girlfriend (at work) has actually written out a schedule of the "best" times to hit the gym....really. I love my friends but I think they're a little crazy.0 -
My other girlfriend (at work) has actually written out a schedule of the "best" times to hit the gym....really. I love my friends but I think they're a little crazy.
Love it! I used to time my gym visits to see my gym crush...but he went MIA, haven't seen him since September.0 -
sounds like REI here in cali.
it's a good idea. check to see if they outdoorsy type classes. i just found out REI has a bunch.. it's stuff like how to read a compass, put up a tent, take outdoor photos, etc. i plan on taking a few classes not only because hot guys might be there (which i hear they are) but also becaue stuff like that is good to know
REI and Fleet Farm totally different. Fleet Farm has for farming, hunting and fishing very blue collar while REI is all recreational.0 -
My other girlfriend (at work) has actually written out a schedule of the "best" times to hit the gym....really. I love my friends but I think they're a little crazy.
Love it! I used to time my gym visits to see my gym crush...but he went MIA, haven't seen him since September.
Oh!! Don't you hate that!! I had a gym crush, but I'm so shy I'm horrible with the "approach". I started working out without my ipod, but it didn't help. Then the kids' baseball season started and threw my workout schedule off and I haven't seen him since.0 -
Oh!! Don't you hate that!! I had a gym crush, but I'm so shy I'm horrible with the "approach". I started working out without my ipod, but it didn't help. Then the kids' baseball season started and threw my workout schedule off and I haven't seen him since.
Did you look sexy and approachable? I don't see that. The iPod is universal code for "Don't approach me".
If you look good and give off good body language, a guy will approach. If he doesn't, he could be married, gay or socially awkward.0 -
Oh!! Don't you hate that!! I had a gym crush, but I'm so shy I'm horrible with the "approach". I started working out without my ipod, but it didn't help. Then the kids' baseball season started and threw my workout schedule off and I haven't seen him since.
Did you look sexy and approachable? I don't see that. The iPod is universal code for "Don't approach me".
If you look good and give off good body language, a guy will approach. If he doesn't, he could be married, gay or socially awkward.
I wear my jogging shorts and a tank (so yep, was looking as cute as possible in the gym). I smiled and would say hello and attempt to make small talk in passing, but he never made a move. But, I'm such a wuss....it took me quite a bit to get to that point. I was so proud of myself when I did and it's actually helped me a little since with talking to men. But, didn't help me with my gym crush... I do get worried talking with men at the gym, though. We're in somewhat of a small town and I don't want to be that stereotypical woman chatting up every hot guy I see (especially when most tend to be married).
So, Mr. DM.... Other than Home Depot, REI, the gym, Starbucks, the bookstore, and the grocery store.... where does a woman go to find a man? You and I agree that the bar is the last place to go. I do go to church, but the single men at mine are either right out of high school or way too old. And, while I do think the internet is a good tool to use, you really have to be selective about who you actually do meet (as well as patient in weeding through the profiles).0 -
Good call, Mom!! LOL I will run up to Bass Pro Shops after work! Never thought of that! 0
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sounds like REI here in cali.
it's a good idea. check to see if they outdoorsy type classes. i just found out REI has a bunch.. it's stuff like how to read a compass, put up a tent, take outdoor photos, etc. i plan on taking a few classes not only because hot guys might be there (which i hear they are) but also becaue stuff like that is good to know
REI and Fleet Farm totally different. Fleet Farm has for farming, hunting and fishing very blue collar while REI is all recreational.
They are! Fleet Farm is very blue collar.0 -
Oh!! Don't you hate that!! I had a gym crush, but I'm so shy I'm horrible with the "approach". I started working out without my ipod, but it didn't help. Then the kids' baseball season started and threw my workout schedule off and I haven't seen him since.
Did you look sexy and approachable? I don't see that. The iPod is universal code for "Don't approach me".
If you look good and give off good body language, a guy will approach. If he doesn't, he could be married, gay or socially awkward.
Hahahahahahaha this is...very unrealistic. So every man I've seen at the gym is gay, married or socially awkward? The hundreds of men I've seen at the gym are all taken and that's why they don't approach? I don't think that's it. I just think they aren't interested. It might sound cruel but I think most people would rather hear the truth.0 -
This concept of changing to meet a particular type of man as based on his profession or interests is kinda funny. So too is the idea that you can go to one particular place to meet said man. I recall that I have "dated" or attracted men with the following professions and in different ways. I am not scared of meeting people online..and to be honest, I prefer it in some ways, as I get to do some pre-screening.
Teacher x2
Med student
Bus driver (with an MBA-crazy)
Marine/military
Health/safety officer for trades/construction
Lawyer x2
Journalist/political candidate
Independent business owner x3
So...how could I possibly make myself into something different each time? The simple answer is..I don't. The med student, now a doctor, came from a very blue collar background and loved hunting (blah). The bus driver was highly educated and came from a vey well known family. You just never know....0 -
I just think they aren't interested. It might sound cruel but I think most people would rather hear the truth.
Maybe. But are you giving them any indication that you're interested? Do you smile and hold eye contact for a few seconds? Or look at a guy, look away, and then look back again? Perhaps smile and say "hi" as he walks by? Something? Anything?
I'm not saying you should take the lead and start up a lengthy conversation (although that would help, too). I am saying you should do more to show the guy you're interested so he will know it's OK to come chat you up a bit.
--P0
