my mom's advice
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I just think they aren't interested. It might sound cruel but I think most people would rather hear the truth.
Of course this is true sometimes. But the problem is when you become overly negative and assume this about every.single.guy. you come into contact with. Yes, some will be married, in relationships, gay, etc. And some of the single ones may be in their own head thinking about their own problems, or in a hurry, or focused on their workout, or a million different scenarios (just the same as we all do when we're out and about doing errands, working out, etc.). I guess I'm wondering if it's your own negativity and skepticism sending out a vibe to them that you are not interested or available? Just something to think about.0 -
My mom keeps telling me she'll pay for me to join EHarmony. I keep telling her the one time I joined during a free trial period, i had NO MATCHES! lol0
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sounds like REI here in cali.
it's a good idea. check to see if they outdoorsy type classes. i just found out REI has a bunch.. it's stuff like how to read a compass, put up a tent, take outdoor photos, etc. i plan on taking a few classes not only because hot guys might be there (which i hear they are) but also becaue stuff like that is good to know
REI and Fleet Farm totally different. Fleet Farm has for farming, hunting and fishing very blue collar while REI is all recreational.
They are! Fleet Farm is very blue collar.
um ok but i dont care about the socioeconomic differences. i was referring more to the fact that it's mainly dudes that go there. a dudes tend to be dudes regardless of whether or not he's blue collar white collar or no collar0 -
What's that movie when the girl got found out for lying about her whole existance and the guy dumped her on the pre wedding party when the sister played a video?
You're thinking of Titanic.
--P
No, I'm not! :laugh:
27 dresses0 -
sounds like REI here in cali.
it's a good idea. check to see if they outdoorsy type classes. i just found out REI has a bunch.. it's stuff like how to read a compass, put up a tent, take outdoor photos, etc. i plan on taking a few classes not only because hot guys might be there (which i hear they are) but also becaue stuff like that is good to know
REI and Fleet Farm totally different. Fleet Farm has for farming, hunting and fishing very blue collar while REI is all recreational.
They are! Fleet Farm is very blue collar.
um ok but i dont care about the socioeconomic differences. i was referring more to the fact that it's mainly dudes that go there. a dudes tend to be dudes regardless of whether or not he's blue collar white collar or no collar
REI has about a 50/50 men to women ratio (at least the ones I go to) Fleet Farm is more of a 100 to 2 men to women. That is what I meant by the different demos.0 -
What's that movie when the girl got found out for lying about her whole existance and the guy dumped her on the pre wedding party when the sister played a video?
You're thinking of Titanic.
--P
No, I'm not! :laugh:
27 dresses
You got it MM!!! Thanks! :flowerforyou:0 -
So, Mr. DM.... Other than Home Depot, REI, the gym, Starbucks, the bookstore, and the grocery store.... where does a woman go to find a man? You and I agree that the bar is the last place to go. I do go to church, but the single men at mine are either right out of high school or way too old. And, while I do think the internet is a good tool to use, you really have to be selective about who you actually do meet (as well as patient in weeding through the profiles).
Oooh, Mr. DM, I kinda like....
I never suggested REI, Home Depot or Starbucks. There's merit in the bookstore and grocery store.
The number 1 thing that all singles, regardless of gender, should do is work the friend of friend network. Tell every acquaintance or friend that you are single and ask for a referral for a fix up. The 2 or 3 degrees of separation principle is where you are going to find your best matches.
After that, common hobbies/exercise classes could be a good fit. The gym in and of itself is usually a bad fit for men because most men now know that most men are wearing iPods and don't want to be approached. But a woman without an iPod like device is a refreshing change of pace for a single man on the prowl. Exercise classes are also a better fit for men looking for women b/c the women can't wear iPods in class. From the woman's perspective, the gender ratio isn't favorable, but it is likely that the guys that are there are single guys.0 -
I just think they aren't interested. It might sound cruel but I think most people would rather hear the truth.
Maybe. But are you giving them any indication that you're interested? Do you smile and hold eye contact for a few seconds? Or look at a guy, look away, and then look back again? Perhaps smile and say "hi" as he walks by? Something? Anything?
I'm not saying you should take the lead and start up a lengthy conversation (although that would help, too). I am saying you should do more to show the guy you're interested so he will know it's OK to come chat you up a bit.
--P
Very good advice. Although I rarely have the opportunity to catch a guy's smile as most of them are obsessed with their weights.
The other day, this guy and I were both working by the strength machines. We kept passing each other and smiling, and I said "excuse me," once and he walked up to me at the water fountain a little later. I even waited there a second fiddling with the cap of my water bottle, but of course he didn't say anything.
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I just think they aren't interested. It might sound cruel but I think most people would rather hear the truth.
Maybe. But are you giving them any indication that you're interested? Do you smile and hold eye contact for a few seconds? Or look at a guy, look away, and then look back again? Perhaps smile and say "hi" as he walks by? Something? Anything?
I'm not saying you should take the lead and start up a lengthy conversation (although that would help, too). I am saying you should do more to show the guy you're interested so he will know it's OK to come chat you up a bit.
--P
Very good advice. Although I rarely have the opportunity to catch a guy's smile as most of them are obsessed with their weights.
The other day, this guy and I were both working by the strength machines. We kept passing each other and smiling, and I said "excuse me," once and he walked up to me at the water fountain a little later. I even waited there a second fiddling with the cap of my water bottle, but of course he didn't say anything.
At that moment did you look at him,acknowledge him,or wait for him to say something and when that was not almost instant turn and walk away?0 -
I just think they aren't interested. It might sound cruel but I think most people would rather hear the truth.
Maybe. But are you giving them any indication that you're interested? Do you smile and hold eye contact for a few seconds? Or look at a guy, look away, and then look back again? Perhaps smile and say "hi" as he walks by? Something? Anything?
I'm not saying you should take the lead and start up a lengthy conversation (although that would help, too). I am saying you should do more to show the guy you're interested so he will know it's OK to come chat you up a bit.
--P
Very good advice. Although I rarely have the opportunity to catch a guy's smile as most of them are obsessed with their weights.
The other day, this guy and I were both working by the strength machines. We kept passing each other and smiling, and I said "excuse me," once and he walked up to me at the water fountain a little later. I even waited there a second fiddling with the cap of my water bottle, but of course he didn't say anything.
At that moment did you look at him,acknowledge him,or wait for him to say something and when that was not almost instant turn and walk away?
We made eye contact when he walked up to the fountain, and I stepped aside and started fiddling with my cap. He finished drinking and walked away.0 -
haha sounds like sound advice, better than the bar or church advice. I hate those ones!0
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When I was overweight, I was as much me as I am now.
Actually, more so.
--P
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Are you on the vodka tonight P??? lol
I'm just getting around to reading this thread and OMG...P! You are a riot! Please... drink more of whatever you had last night! You're a gem!0 -
I just think they aren't interested. It might sound cruel but I think most people would rather hear the truth.
Maybe. But are you giving them any indication that you're interested? Do you smile and hold eye contact for a few seconds? Or look at a guy, look away, and then look back again? Perhaps smile and say "hi" as he walks by? Something? Anything?
I'm not saying you should take the lead and start up a lengthy conversation (although that would help, too). I am saying you should do more to show the guy you're interested so he will know it's OK to come chat you up a bit.
--P
Very good advice. Although I rarely have the opportunity to catch a guy's smile as most of them are obsessed with their weights.
The other day, this guy and I were both working by the strength machines. We kept passing each other and smiling, and I said "excuse me," once and he walked up to me at the water fountain a little later. I even waited there a second fiddling with the cap of my water bottle, but of course he didn't say anything.
At that moment did you look at him,acknowledge him,or wait for him to say something and when that was not almost instant turn and walk away?
We made eye contact when he walked up to the fountain, and I stepped aside and started fiddling with my cap. He finished drinking and walked away.
Yeah... There is this guy I had a huge thing for at my gym and it took me foreeeever to even make eye contact with him. It's especially creepy on my part because I used to work there so I know his name... And I'm pretty sure he doesn't even know I'm alive! I saw him for the first time in a few months today, and I *THINK* he was looking at me a few times. Or I just happened to glance at him when he was looking in my direction... I'm freaking terrible at these things. I think my main problem is that I don't exactly scream, "I have self-confidence!" most of the time. Now I'm rambling.
Anyways! I don't think that any guy would just approach. Even if he was single. I just don't think it's typical for that to happen these days.. I don't even see it happening to the gorgeous women who wear tight clothes and look fabulous at the gym. And when I or someone else get hit on, I usually notice the guy talking to other women as well. So he's just a "a flirt" or whatever.
So maybe in some gyms, but usually not here.0 -
I just think they aren't interested. It might sound cruel but I think most people would rather hear the truth.
Maybe. But are you giving them any indication that you're interested? Do you smile and hold eye contact for a few seconds? Or look at a guy, look away, and then look back again? Perhaps smile and say "hi" as he walks by? Something? Anything?
I'm not saying you should take the lead and start up a lengthy conversation (although that would help, too). I am saying you should do more to show the guy you're interested so he will know it's OK to come chat you up a bit.
--P
Very good advice. Although I rarely have the opportunity to catch a guy's smile as most of them are obsessed with their weights.
The other day, this guy and I were both working by the strength machines. We kept passing each other and smiling, and I said "excuse me," once and he walked up to me at the water fountain a little later. I even waited there a second fiddling with the cap of my water bottle, but of course he didn't say anything.
At that moment did you look at him,acknowledge him,or wait for him to say something and when that was not almost instant turn and walk away?
We made eye contact when he walked up to the fountain, and I stepped aside and started fiddling with my cap. He finished drinking and walked away.
Did you smile or just step aside and look away?
Honey you can`t expect to be absolved of any participation,I imagine you think I am picking but am not,you have to be willing to take some chances for better or worse. :flowerforyou:0 -
Anyways! I don't think that any guy would just approach. Even if he was single. I just don't think it's typical for that to happen these days.. I don't even see it happening to the gorgeous women who wear tight clothes and look fabulous at the gym. And when I or someone else get hit on, I usually notice the guy talking to other women as well. So he's just a "a flirt" or whatever.
So maybe in some gyms, but usually not here.
I do agree with you.
I wish people were like what DM said, that men will approach if they find you attractive and they're not married/taken or gay. Unfortunately I think you can do all the right stuff and yet the guy won't approach.Did you smile or just step aside and look away?
Honey you can`t expect to be absolved of any participation,I imagine you think I am picking but am not,you have to be willing to take some chances for better or worse
I was actually drinking water (had the bottle to my mouth), and was swallowing it, so I stepped aside - I couldn't smile lol. He didn't look at me after he bent his head down to the fountain.
Ah this is a complicated story.
No, I get that you have to smile and stuff. I do. But it's not like DM's magical world where men will absolutely approach if they're interested, although I wish it was! Either this guy was taken and nice, or single and nice and scared to approach.0 -
Anyways! I don't think that any guy would just approach. Even if he was single. I just don't think it's typical for that to happen these days.. I don't even see it happening to the gorgeous women who wear tight clothes and look fabulous at the gym. And when I or someone else get hit on, I usually notice the guy talking to other women as well. So he's just a "a flirt" or whatever.
So maybe in some gyms, but usually not here.
I do agree with you.
I wish people were like what DM said, that men will approach if they find you attractive and they're not married/taken or gay. Unfortunately I think you can do all the right stuff and yet the guy won't approach.Did you smile or just step aside and look away?
Honey you can`t expect to be absolved of any participation,I imagine you think I am picking but am not,you have to be willing to take some chances for better or worse
I was actually drinking water (had the bottle to my mouth), and was swallowing it, so I stepped aside - I couldn't smile lol. He didn't look at me after he bent his head down to the fountain.
Ah this is a complicated story.
No, I get that you have to smile and stuff. I do. But it's not like DM's magical world where men will absolutely approach if they're interested, although I wish it was! Either this guy was taken and nice, or single and nice and scared to approach.
That is true but you also have to not give off "keep away from me" signs.
Now I have no idea if he was interested or not but think on it,you easily could have at the point of eye contact stopped drinking and smiled/said hi etc.
If you did not then you sent the same signal to him as you perceive when he did not make an effort to talk to you.
He looked at you and you did not respond,no matter what you think about whether a lady should ever pursue a guy you have to respond to subtle things now and then.
In the most perfect world is it not this dance...sure but that is not going to happen.
No matter what the dream of the absolute alpha,risks be damned male many ladies dream about the truth is guys are first conditioned to be gentlemen and respect a ladys body signals and second not looking to be shot down any more then you are.
Just try to take a chance if you really are looking for the possibility of something happening for you.0 -
My mom thinks anytime a man even looks at me, it means he has the hots for me. "Did you see the cute cashier at Trader Joe's? He totally was looking at you!" Ummm... sure mom.0
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1. Imagine the kind of guy who you want to be with
2. Imagine the kind of woman that guy who you desire is typically with
3. Be that woman
This is really good advice. I just have to find out what #1 is first... :ohwell:0 -
For Christine...
Quick story...this just happened...less than an hour ago.
First off, I'm goofy...except when I like someone, then I'm a bit nervous and awkward until the nerves calm down. Normally though...no nerves to deal with.
I was just at target. This guy...fairly cute, would definitely be someone I could go out with (based on looks alone) grabbed a cart just after I did. We both started walking down the isle...he was a little behind. I could hear him catching up as he was walking faster than I was. I sped up a little...he still caught me. He got yo the point he was passing me and I chuckled. He looked...and I said..."I so just was to race you down the isle". And i took off a little...The guy busted out laughing. It was funny. Talked for a sec then I went on my way....not looking for anyone at the moment. Anyway...take the reigns, Christine!0 -
For Christine...
Quick story...this just happened...less than an hour ago.
First off, I'm goofy...except when I like someone, then I'm a bit nervous and awkward until the nerves calm down. Normally though...no nerves to deal with.
I was just at target. This guy...fairly cute, would definitely be someone I could go out with (based on looks alone) grabbed a cart just after I did. We both started walking down the isle...he was a little behind. I could hear him catching up as he was walking faster than I was. I sped up a little...he still caught me. He got yo the point he was passing me and I chuckled. He looked...and I said..."I so just was to race you down the isle". And i took off a little...The guy busted out laughing. It was funny. Talked for a sec then I went on my way....not looking for anyone at the moment. Anyway...take the reigns, Christine!
Haha so cute!!
That is how I am. I can talk to any guy. But if I like him, I turn into weird spazzy girl.0
