DM...
christine24t
Posts: 6,063 Member
I have started a lot of threads lately, my bad, but I just have to post this out there!
DM, I feel like this is you moonlightling writing this blog. http://www.therulesrevisited.com/ Is it you???? The writing style and advice are very similar.
I have a love/hate affair with this blog. He makes a lot of good points though.
DM, I feel like this is you moonlightling writing this blog. http://www.therulesrevisited.com/ Is it you???? The writing style and advice are very similar.
I have a love/hate affair with this blog. He makes a lot of good points though.
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Replies
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No, not me. I'll have to read the blog at another time.0
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No, not me. I'll have to read the blog at another time.
You should! I bet you will like it, very much your style advice. It is written geared toward women, but some of the advice can be generalized to both sexes.0 -
You should! I bet you will like it, very much your style advice. It is written geared toward women, but some of the advice can be generalized to both sexes.
It is funny, I think guys like that do a disservice to men. Generally speaking, I feel that women don't need as much advice as men. Women, especially the top tier, hold a distinct advantage in dating. Most of the women that I find myself attracted to seem to know exactly what they want and how to handle men.0 -
You should! I bet you will like it, very much your style advice. It is written geared toward women, but some of the advice can be generalized to both sexes.
It is funny, I think guys like that do a disservice to men. Generally speaking, I feel that women don't need as much advice as men. Women, especially the top tier, hold a distinct advantage in dating. Most of the women that I find myself attracted to seem to know exactly what they want and how to handle men.
You're probably right, but not every woman is "top tier" and I think the advice is good to help make yourself a "higher tier" if that is what you desire. I like some of the advice.0 -
I spent about an hr reading the blog!!0
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I didn't like the blog. While I do agree looks matter, this guy just seemed overly obsessed and shallow. I hate guys that rate women and pick apart women's looks... it's just rude and not classy at all.0
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Thoroughly amused by his graphs, pie-charts and tables - seems like someone's got too much time on his hands (and perhaps not quite the hyper-active dating life he claims?). Have responded to one post - I'll be interested to see what he says in reply...
Wouldn't have thought DM was writing though - DM tends to be fairly succinct, and this chap, er, isn't.0 -
I feel dumber just by reading this entry...
Appearance Checklist - Part 1
It can be hard sometimes to translate paragraphs of advice into concrete (which often means quantified) goals, so here is a list of questions you can ask yourself the next time you get confused about why the guy you want likes your hotter friend. You probably don't need me to tell you that the answer to all of them should be "yes."
1. Do I have long hair?
2. Do I work out more times per week than I gossip, complain, eat ice cream and go out (combined) per week?
3. Have I asked the advice of at least three different hairdressers in order to determine whether my hair style is suitable for my face shape, or what other styles I could try that might be an improvement?
4. Have I asked one or two male acquaintances (good friends might not be honest) to tell me one thing I could improve about my appearance, insisting that they take time to think about it before giving me an answer?
5. When I work out, do I use weights or do I just tell myself that jogging is enough because it is easier?
6. Have I read at least one complete book about dieting, so that I understand how to control my weight by controlling my intake?
6. If I want to lose weight, do I keep a strict diet, in which I only eat healthy foods and walk away from each meal feeling a little hungry?
7. Have I determined my complexion (possibly by using an online tool)and had an expert confirm it? Have I checked through my wardrobe to make sure I discard or give away anything that won’t look good on me?
8. Do I force myself to wear heels in everyday situations, at least three times a week?
9. Have I spent the time to find at least three makeup combinations that work well with my complexion - realizing that this includes trying out the ones that I think might be best a few times each?
Especially #1.0 -
I feel dumber just by reading this entry...
Appearance Checklist - Part 1
It can be hard sometimes to translate paragraphs of advice into concrete (which often means quantified) goals, so here is a list of questions you can ask yourself the next time you get confused about why the guy you want likes your hotter friend. You probably don't need me to tell you that the answer to all of them should be "yes."
1. Do I have long hair?
2. Do I work out more times per week than I gossip, complain, eat ice cream and go out (combined) per week?
3. Have I asked the advice of at least three different hairdressers in order to determine whether my hair style is suitable for my face shape, or what other styles I could try that might be an improvement?
4. Have I asked one or two male acquaintances (good friends might not be honest) to tell me one thing I could improve about my appearance, insisting that they take time to think about it before giving me an answer?
5. When I work out, do I use weights or do I just tell myself that jogging is enough because it is easier?
6. Have I read at least one complete book about dieting, so that I understand how to control my weight by controlling my intake?
6. If I want to lose weight, do I keep a strict diet, in which I only eat healthy foods and walk away from each meal feeling a little hungry?
7. Have I determined my complexion (possibly by using an online tool)and had an expert confirm it? Have I checked through my wardrobe to make sure I discard or give away anything that won’t look good on me?
8. Do I force myself to wear heels in everyday situations, at least three times a week?
9. Have I spent the time to find at least three makeup combinations that work well with my complexion - realizing that this includes trying out the ones that I think might be best a few times each?
Especially #1.
Wow! I missed that entry! What a hoot! :laugh:0 -
Most men have a preference for "long" hair, similarly most women have a preference for "short" hair.I feel dumber just by reading this entry...
Appearance Checklist - Part 1
It can be hard sometimes to translate paragraphs of advice into concrete (which often means quantified) goals, so here is a list of questions you can ask yourself the next time you get confused about why the guy you want likes your hotter friend. You probably don't need me to tell you that the answer to all of them should be "yes."
1. Do I have long hair?
2. Do I work out more times per week than I gossip, complain, eat ice cream and go out (combined) per week?
...
9. Have I spent the time to find at least three makeup combinations that work well with my complexion - realizing that this includes trying out the ones that I think might be best a few times each?
Especially #1.
I also think that the "looks competition" is tougher on the women's side.
To be clearer, there are lots of women obsessed with their looks and while some men are similar (more and more actually), it is generally easier to stand out as a man with minimal effort on your looks
If you only have "no interest" or "minimal interest" in your looks as a woman you will be literally crushed by the competition who are more interested than you in their looks.
And - yes - most women on this forum are seemingly above "minimal interest" from the point of view of a man (minimal interest is not even the vital minimum as a woman anyway).
And so because I would agree that men are generally more visual (at least in the initial stages) and if you consider that the competition is harder on the women's side, reading between the line the article is harshly telling you to put a lot of efforts in your looks (if you ignore the tone, that what it says).
You can't be lazy about your looks as a woman.0 -
You can't be lazy about your looks as a woman.
Perhaps not, but aditionally, but we should apparently be making beauty decisions by committee, and relying on people who make commission from selling us various products and services to tell us what makes us look best, rather than trusting ourselves. Oh, and we should always be a little hungry, with sore feet, and should invest serious time and effort in reading about dieting... In short we should be indecisive, impoverished, insecure, undernourished, in pain, and more interested in how we look that anything else, really. So, nice and compliant then... Honestly?!?!?!?!0 -
Oh.my.gawd.
He is like DM .. but taken to the 50th degree.0 -
See... I like DM.
I want to punch this blogger in the nose.0 -
well, it's no wonder i'm still single. i won't wear hear heels for no reason three days per week, LOL!!!
i dress for my work outs, to make sure i do them...... and i don't do them in high heels, hehehehehe
when i ask my guy friends about my looks and what i can improve, i usually get solicited by them for sex, so i stopped doing that..... not worth it.
and i have no need for multiple avenues of assessing make up and my complexion, LOL! i get facials.
i guess i will just have to buy a whole lotta cats and be content that i am doomed to be an old maid............ ( smirk)0 -
See... I like DM.
I want to punch this blogger in the nose.
He is systematic like DM .. but obnoxious .. not like DM.
I honestly think that he takes everything that women obsess about men thinking and makes it 10 times worse. Like if you aren't the perfect 10 at the right age .. you get nothing. You must have long hair and perfect posture and be the perfect weight .. but you have to get to that weight in the perfect way .. and you have to act like you don't care that you are the perfect weight. You can't have sex on the first date .. but you can't deny your man sex. You have to dress perfectly and wear high heels .. God forbid you wear sneakers if you aren't at the gym. But! It's not healthy to wear high heels everyday and he understands this .. but there are some perfectly good options out there that can be super feminine too.
OMFG.0 -
Perhaps not, but aditionally, but we should apparently be making beauty decisions by committee, and relying on people who make commission from selling us various products and services to tell us what makes us look best, rather than trusting ourselves. Oh, and we should always be a little hungry, with sore feet, and should invest serious time and effort in reading about dieting... In short we should be indecisive, impoverished, insecure, undernourished, in pain, and more interested in how we look that anything else, really. So, nice and compliant then... Honestly?!?!?!?!
I agree, you shouldn't go solely on what other people say. But, you shouldn't discard their advice either.
I've always valued advice that's been given to me by someone who's a professional in a certain field. Whether it's fitness advice from a trainer, medical advice from a doctor, or hair advice from a hairdresser.. I always like to listen to what they have to say. If they are an expert in their field, then I'd usually trust them over myself.0 -
Most men have a preference for "long" hair, similarly most women have a preference for "short" hair.I feel dumber just by reading this entry...
Appearance Checklist - Part 1
It can be hard sometimes to translate paragraphs of advice into concrete (which often means quantified) goals, so here is a list of questions you can ask yourself the next time you get confused about why the guy you want likes your hotter friend. You probably don't need me to tell you that the answer to all of them should be "yes."
1. Do I have long hair?
2. Do I work out more times per week than I gossip, complain, eat ice cream and go out (combined) per week?
...
9. Have I spent the time to find at least three makeup combinations that work well with my complexion - realizing that this includes trying out the ones that I think might be best a few times each?
Especially #1.
I also think that the "looks competition" is tougher on the women's side.
To be clearer, there are lots of women obsessed with their looks and while some men are similar (more and more actually), it is generally easier to stand out as a man with minimal effort on your looks
If you only have "no interest" or "minimal interest" in your looks as a woman you will be literally crushed by the competition who are more interested than you in their looks.
And - yes - most women on this forum are seemingly above "minimal interest" from the point of view of a man (minimal interest is not even the vital minimum as a woman anyway).
And so because I would agree that men are generally more visual (at least in the initial stages) and if you consider that the competition is harder on the women's side, reading between the line the article is harshly telling you to put a lot of efforts in your looks (if you ignore the tone, that what it says).
You can't be lazy about your looks as a woman.
I understand you can't be lazy about your looks. I don't think anyone should be. It's called taking a little pride in yourself. But that doesn't mean that ALL men will only date a woman if she has long hair. I look BETTER with a short pixie cut, I have pics to prove it. I get my hair colored (started going gray at 18) and cut every 4 weeks and spend about $75 a pop to maintain my looks. I've had about 20 different hairstyles in the past 10 years and everyone I know (men included) say that this one is the best yet. I have hair that is coarse and thick and it tends to curl and grow out, not down. I would need to get it relaxed or get extensions if I were to want long hair (which I don't).
IMO, this guy is a jerk.0 -
Perhaps not, but aditionally, but we should apparently be making beauty decisions by committee, and relying on people who make commission from selling us various products and services to tell us what makes us look best, rather than trusting ourselves. Oh, and we should always be a little hungry, with sore feet, and should invest serious time and effort in reading about dieting... In short we should be indecisive, impoverished, insecure, undernourished, in pain, and more interested in how we look that anything else, really. So, nice and compliant then... Honestly?!?!?!?!
I agree, you shouldn't go solely on what other people say. But, you shouldn't discard their advice either.
I've always valued advice that's been given to me by someone who's a professional in a certain field. Whether it's fitness advice from a trainer, medical advice from a doctor, or hair advice from a hairdresser.. I always like to listen to what they have to say. If they are an expert in their field, then I'd usually trust them over myself.
Advice, sure, but I'm not going to consult with "at least three different hairdressers" to establish what they think is the best hair-do for my face-shape. a) they're likely to all give different answers, b) I can probably figure that out for myself, more or less, with the aid of a mirror, c) it takes time to find a hairdresser you like and trust, who isn't going to give you 'this season's fire-engine red razor cut' if you ask for 'something a bit different' and d) life's too short and I'm too busy to waste that amount of time (and money) on something like that! I pick my hairdresser with care, and I'm happy to take advice from a real expert in something I can't do myself, but I'm not doing my hair by committee! Or my makeup/wardrobe/complexion. While I like to look good, I'm not walking the red carpet at the Met Ball/Oscars on a regular basis, and can make most of these decisions for myself without devastating consequences :laugh:0 -
You can't be lazy about your looks as a woman.
As a woman, this is #1 to men. Good looks rule the roost. With good looks, the dating world (and the world at large) is a woman's oyster.
Men not only have to think about looks, but also we have to be concerned with our earning power. There are more variables that go into play with this than achieving and maintaining good looks.0 -
You can't be lazy about your looks as a woman.
As a woman, this is #1 to men. Good looks rule the roost. With good looks, the dating world (and the world at large) is a woman's oyster.
Men not only have to think about looks, but also we have to be concerned with our earning power. There are more variables that go into play with this than achieving and maintaining good looks.
I wonder what is considered good looks for a woman. Is it just by a persons taste or is it really all of the above as this guy states.0 -
You can't be lazy about your looks as a woman.
As a woman, this is #1 to men. Good looks rule the roost. With good looks, the dating world (and the world at large) is a woman's oyster.
Men not only have to think about looks, but also we have to be concerned with our earning power. There are more variables that go into play with this than achieving and maintaining good looks.
I wonder what is considered good looks for a woman. Is it just by a persons taste or is it really all of the above as this guy states.
No two guys will find every woman equally attractive and I don`t give a crap what this person blogged,looks are not the only thing in life.
I have known of some very good looking ladies that even if they begged I wouldn`t have anything to do with them because they were just miserable people.0 -
You can't be lazy about your looks as a woman.
As a woman, this is #1 to men. Good looks rule the roost. With good looks, the dating world (and the world at large) is a woman's oyster.
Men not only have to think about looks, but also we have to be concerned with our earning power. There are more variables that go into play with this than achieving and maintaining good looks.
I wonder what is considered good looks for a woman. Is it just by a persons taste or is it really all of the above as this guy states.
I think it's personal taste. There are gonna be some men who love a woman with short hair. And some men will dislike
It. One of my old friends had long hair her whole life, then she chopped it off a few years ago. I think she looks better with longer hair, but the short hair ia more like her personality so it works for her.
A lot of times, if I find a guy hot my friends are like "really?" and vice versa.0 -
You can't be lazy about your looks as a woman.
As a woman, this is #1 to men. Good looks rule the roost. With good looks, the dating world (and the world at large) is a woman's oyster.
Men not only have to think about looks, but also we have to be concerned with our earning power. There are more variables that go into play with this than achieving and maintaining good looks.
Whatever is most important to the opposite sex will always "rule the roost". That's just one of the facts of life.
For men, looks are very high on our list when it comes to finding a partner. So there's definitely a good amount of pressure on women to be attractive as possible.
From a man's POV, I've always felt an enormous amount of pressure to please the opposite sex. There's always been pressure to get a good job, make decent money, be as charming as possible, look good, etc etc. That's just life.0 -
Time and time again we've worked our way around the "If a woman is under 30, a 8-10 the dating world is her oyster". Even though I'd said it before, I say is again, it's bull. Here's why.
Example #1. I have a friend who's 5'8, 130lbs (spends 6-7 days in the gym, a** you could bounce pennys off), size 2, long medium brown hair, great teeth, C cup size, good personality, blah blah blah. I met her when she was 27, she's 32 now haven't changed looks as far as I'm concerned. She's always been that girl I've been jealous of. The "Oh, if I could only have that body" syndrome. She's still single and having a HORRIBLE time finding the right guy. Every guy she meets that she's attracted to just wants her for sex. Every guy that doesn't just want her for sex she's not attracted to (they bore her). Every guy that meets her wants to bang her and as soon as they get to know her they want nothing to do with her.
I'm 5'11, 147lbs (and this is after a 40+ lbs weigh loss). I'm going to be 34 in less than a month. I don't go to the gym 6-7 days a week (my *ss looks like a 34 year olds), I have short hair, my teeth aren't perfect. I'd say I'm a 7 on a good day. I have a guy that adores me even if I'm not perfect that I adore equally. I think he's under the impression I poop Skittles. I'm happy, she's miserable. Where has said friend's looks gotten her?
I know all the guys are going to fight me on this but I don't believe men feel looks are EVERYTHING. Attraction is EVERYTHING. Cause I can tell you every morning when we wake up my boyfriend says to me "God, you are beautiful". Trust me folks, I look like every other women when she wakes up - bed head, no make up, sheet marks, "sleepy kitty face". It ain't beautiful, but he finds me beautiful. It only takes that one guy...0 -
This blog was irritating...yet I kept reading...may go back today. I would like to see a list of this guy's qualifications. Has he dated hot women? Has he been elected on behalf of all males in America to pass opinion, judgment and advice to women?
A Venn diagram. Seriously??
Besides the fact I will wear my hair any damn way I please based on MY own opinion of what I like...I just can't believe so much time and effort and learning must go into the supposed science of finding and/or trapping and/or securing a mate. While some of it does ring true...the overall message really is...if you want a man, change everything about yourself to cater to his imagined and stereotypical preferences.
Um..sorry..no. Since when did men actually have all the power in this any way?
#onebittersingleguysopiniononly0 -
The answer to this is twofold:
I think it's personal taste. There are gonna be some men who love a woman with short hair. And some men will dislike
I wonder what is considered good looks for a woman. Is it just by a persons taste or is it really all of the above as this guy states.
As a woman, this is #1 to men. Good looks rule the roost. With good looks, the dating world (and the world at large) is a woman's oyster.You can't be lazy about your looks as a woman.
Men not only have to think about looks, but also we have to be concerned with our earning power. There are more variables that go into play with this than achieving and maintaining good looks.
It. One of my old friends had long hair her whole life, then she chopped it off a few years ago. I think she looks better with longer hair, but the short hair ia more like her personality so it works for her.
1) There are general preferences
Most men prefer long hair. Maybe your neighbor doesn't, or your friend tells you you look great with short hair. It doesn't matter, the point remains that men = short hair, women = long hair.
And yes that means that you can have short hair and still attract men. But just be aware that people have a certain tolerance threshold, so the less you comply, the more likely people are to say that's enough past a certain point.
The more you deviate, the more you reduce (and perhaps change) your dating pool. It can be OK to reduce AND change your dating pool though if you are after a specific subset of the population (not the "main crowd") that your new characteristics now attract (even though you've alienated yourself the main share of the population).
2) Found this, on the same blog.
I read it in diagonals, but it seems true enough... The staples of beauty:
http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2011/09/feminine-beauty-is-highly-controllable.html
Now you can have blue eyes or brown eyes, long hair or short hair and still seduce. But generally speaking this is it.
All these things are very much tied to a specific society so don't go to the inuits using the same beauty tips please, for your own sanity.
(aslo: http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2011/10/you-can-control-how-attractive-you-are.html)0 -
This particular guy might not have all the power in this, but men as a whole decide who they are attracted to.Um..sorry..no. Since when did men actually have all the power in this any way?
If I show all the men of the "Western world" two pictures of women:
Women A
Women B
I would imagine that the overwhelming majority of men would say Women B is more to their taste.
So the only thing that will change should you chose not to comply is that your level of attraction.
Now I get the guy is very extreme in what he says, which is clearly part of his marketing strategy (being a bit harsh). The bottom line remains true though.
Note:
for anyone interested about woman A, here is a bit of background
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kondha
The Dongrias are great admirer of aesthetic romanticism. Their personal adornment is unique with each male and female member using hair clips, ear rings neck rings, hand rings made up of brass, iron and Hyndalium prepared by themselves as well as purchased from local markets. Body tattooing is practiced by both sexes.
I'm pretty sure she has lots of male admirers then, in her society - so don't worry about her.0 -
This particular guy might not have all the power in this, but men as a whole decide who they are attracted to.Um..sorry..no. Since when did men actually have all the power in this any way?
If I show all the men of the "Western world" two pictures of women:
Women A
Women B
I would imagine that the overwhelming majority of men would say Women B is more to their taste.
So the only thing that will change should you chose not to comply is that your level of attraction.
Now I get the guy is very extreme in what he says, which is clearly part of his marketing strategy (being a bit harsh). The bottom line remains true though.
Note:
for anyone interested about woman A, here is a bit of background
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kondha
The Dongrias are great admirer of aesthetic romanticism. Their personal adornment is unique with each male and female member using hair clips, ear rings neck rings, hand rings made up of brass, iron and Hyndalium prepared by themselves as well as purchased from local markets. Body tattooing is practiced by both sexes.
I'm pretty sure she has lots of male admirers then, in her society - so don't worry about her.
I see your point.. it'd be interesting to see if men in Woman A's home country would pick her over Woman B?
For all we know, men can be polled all over the world and they might all pick Woman B. We just don't know.0 -
I might add that I love this blog. I think the information is golden and spot on.
I would absolutely LOVE if there was a brutally honest blog like this written by a female. I'd love to read a well written blog where I can gain more and more insight into the female mind. Jenna Marbles is pretty good, but she injects so much sarcasm that I view it as more of comedy as opposed to informative.
If anyone knows of one, please share it.0 -
Jenna Marbles is pretty good, but she injects so much sarcasm that I view it as more of comedy as opposed to informative.
If anyone knows of one, please share it.
I believe that Jenna Marbles intends to be a comedienne, not a dating guru. There's some merit in stuff she says, though I don't think she's intended to be taken seriously.0
