DM...
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I haven't read the entire blog (obviously), but I think it is generally spot on. You may not like what you are hearing, but that doesn't mean it's not true.
Every 16 year old girl in the country needs to read these:
http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2012/04/men-dont-have-commitment-problems.html
http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2012/01/dont-let-guy-waste-your-most-eligible.html
http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2011/09/dont-initiate-contact.html
Oh, the time I wasted when I was young.0 -
I haven't read the entire blog (obviously), but I think it is generally spot on. You may not like what you are hearing, but that doesn't mean it's not true.
Every 16 year old girl in the country needs to read these:
http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2012/04/men-dont-have-commitment-problems.html
http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2012/01/dont-let-guy-waste-your-most-eligible.html
http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2011/09/dont-initiate-contact.html
Oh, the time I wasted when I was young.
Those are three great blog posts, especially the commitment problems one. Very spot on.
My favorite one has been this.
http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2011/09/feminine-beauty-is-highly-controllable.html
I do think it's a bit wrong to put so much importance on facial structure (20%) when it's not controllable at all (5%). But it's true.
I'd love to see a male equivalent chart!0 -
This post makes a lot of sense. A lot of women make the mistake of picking the wrong guy during their prime years.
The goal, for both sexes, should be to make the right call early in life and stay off the dating market for life. Life goes so much easier that way.0 -
I haven't read the entire blog (obviously), but I think it is generally spot on. You may not like what you are hearing, but that doesn't mean it's not true.
Every 16 year old girl in the country needs to read these:
http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2012/04/men-dont-have-commitment-problems.html
http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2012/01/dont-let-guy-waste-your-most-eligible.html
http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2011/09/dont-initiate-contact.html
Oh, the time I wasted when I was young.
Okay.. I actually do agree with these three in particular too. I am just tired of all the female beauty stuff.
Honestly.. ENOUGH already.. we aren't all thin (yet), we don't all have hair that looks good worn long, we aren't all friggin' Jessica Alba. Can we just have a day of rest on being beaten over the head with physical expectations that some of us (most?) will not be likely to obtain easily, if at all? WE GET IT. Hot chicks have more options.
Yes, I am cranky and bloated. Shut up.
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LOL ....So I used to have long hair and I mean Looooong hair I had a braind that came to my waist. Problem was whenever I would take my hair down It would overwhelm my body and face it was to thick and curly. I never got approached or anything. I cut my hair to my chin and wear it curly (most of the time) and I get approached all the time now.
The whole you cant be lazy about buety thing. My best friend and I were talking about that. Working with what you have and using it to your advantage. Again to use the example my sister is defiinatly upper tier 8-9. Shes thins with long hair and quite frankly gorgious. But she dresses like a hobo. Lately she wont dress up at all. When we can drag her out she wearsher baggiest pants and shirts (she looks like shes 12) and no make up or doing her hair. Now my friend and I both dress decently and put on atleast some lipgloss (depending on where we are going). Effort matters alot because it shows some confidence in yourself0 -
Okay.. I actually do agree with these three in particular too. I am just tired of all the female beauty stuff.
Honestly.. ENOUGH already.. we aren't all thin (yet), we don't all have hair that looks good worn long, we aren't all friggin' Jessica Alba. Can we just have a day of rest on being beaten over the head with physical expectations that some of us (most?) will not be likely to obtain easily, if at all? WE GET IT. Hot chicks have more options.
Yes, I am cranky and bloated. Shut up.
:grumble:From a man's POV, I've always felt an enormous amount of pressure to please the opposite sex. There's always been pressure to get a good job, make decent money, be as charming as possible, look good, etc etc. That's just life.
Both these quotes show the stresses of the genders. Women have the looks issue to contend with. Men have to be concerned with looks, but also personality and financial metrics like income and net worth. I think looks are more controllable than your micro level career/financial picture, which can often be governed by macro level economic policy.0 -
Both these quotes show the stresses of the genders. Women have the looks issue to contend with. Men have to be concerned with looks, but also personality and financial metrics like income and net worth. I think looks are more controllable than your micro level career/financial picture, which can often be governed by macro level economic policy.
With all due respect.. I am pretty sure a decent personality is also required of most women. Additionally, I think I might have a better chance of amassing a large personal fortune than acquiring a thigh gap!0 -
Both these quotes show the stresses of the genders. Women have the looks issue to contend with. Men have to be concerned with looks, but also personality and financial metrics like income and net worth. I think looks are more controllable than your micro level career/financial picture, which can often be governed by macro level economic policy.
It took me a long time to realize that men really don't seem to care how much money I make or how successful I am. In fact, he even has a blog post about that:
http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2012/05/men-dont-care-about-your.html
I am very successful in my career and make more money than any single man I have ever met, but I have yet to find one who even cares. At first I found it bizarre, and then I just accepted it. It doesn't matter to them.
I don't think it's too much to ask to try and make yourself look good if you want to attract a man. I also don't think it is shocking to hear that men like to look at beautiful women. You can do the best with what you have.
I believe women are less picky from a looks perspective and more interested in other factors, such as income, job, personality, sense of humor, etc. (Or at least I think women may give a man a chance if he is hitting it on all cylinders in other aspects of his life and isn't the best looking. I think men are less likely to go out with a woman they don't think is good looking, even if she does make six figures.) In some ways, I think men do have it harder. For women in many cases all you have to do is look good and have a reasonably decent personality to get a man interested.0 -
This post makes a lot of sense. A lot of women make the mistake of picking the wrong guy during their prime years.
The goal, for both sexes, should be to make the right call early in life and stay off the dating market for life. Life goes so much easier that way.
This to me is just common sense, there is no need to be in a relationship when you feel it will never go anywhere.
This blog only irritates me. After reading parts of this blog and it making me feel like **** since every outfit, every hairstyle, and every workout- I do for myself. In no way do I want my ultimate appearance to be so I can attract the best guy. I don't want to feel uncomfortable wearing heels every day when I want to wear boots or feel compelled grow my hair long when it will be flat or waste my hard earned money on weaves, extension or plastic surgery. My confidence I gain is when I feel I am at my best and I don't need a guy to dictate what I need to wear or how long I need to grow my hair.0 -
It took me a long time to realize that men really don't seem to care how much money I make or how successful I am. In fact, he even has a blog post about that:
http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2012/05/men-dont-care-about-your.html
I am very successful in my career and make more money than any single man I have ever met, but I have yet to find one who even cares. At first I found it bizarre, and then I just accepted it. It doesn't matter to them.
I don't think it's too much to ask to try and make yourself look good if you want to attract a man. I also don't think it is shocking to hear that men like to look at beautiful women. You can do the best with what you have.
I believe women are less picky from a looks perspective and more interested in other factors, such as income, job, personality, sense of humor, etc. (Or at least I think women may give a man a chance if he is hitting it on all cylinders in other aspects of his life and isn't the best looking. I think men are less likely to go out with a woman they don't think is good looking, even if she does make six figures.) In some ways, I think men do have it harder. For women in many cases all you have to do is look good and have a reasonably decent personality to get a man interested.
You're correct for the most part. Most men will think it's nice that you are successful, but it really won't sway them either way. Being smart and successful should be more of a personal accomplishment to yourself. Congrats to you!
However, I view things a bit differently than most men. Admittedly, I can be VERY shallow when it comes to material possessions. In short, I insist on living a nice lifestyle. I want to upgrade to an even larger house than I have now (a nice infinity style pool would be a huge plus) and I have a liking for luxury automobiles.
So if I happen to meet someone who's wildly successful, then that's a huge plus when it comes to winning me over.
So how YOU doin' ??
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Every 16 year old girl in the country needs to read these:
http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2012/04/men-dont-have-commitment-problems.html
http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2012/01/dont-let-guy-waste-your-most-eligible.html
http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2011/09/dont-initiate-contact.html
Oh, the time I wasted when I was young.
I will probably sound like an old grouch but once a person gets into or past their mid 30s they I bet will think this is nothing but tripe.0 -
Every 16 year old girl in the country needs to read these:
http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2012/04/men-dont-have-commitment-problems.html
http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2012/01/dont-let-guy-waste-your-most-eligible.html
http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2011/09/dont-initiate-contact.html
Oh, the time I wasted when I was young.
I will probably sound like an old grouch but once a person gets into or past their mid 30s they I bet will think this is nothing but tripe.
Carl, Thank you for being the male voice of reason around here. :flowerforyou:0 -
Every 16 year old girl in the country needs to read these:
http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2012/04/men-dont-have-commitment-problems.html
http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2012/01/dont-let-guy-waste-your-most-eligible.html
http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2011/09/dont-initiate-contact.html
Oh, the time I wasted when I was young.
I will probably sound like an old grouch but once a person gets into or past their mid 30s they I bet will think this is nothing but tripe.
Carl, Thank you for being the male voice of reason around here. :flowerforyou:
To me it is insulting to both men and women.
For those that didn`t read it this is the last paragraph from the one telling women to be wallflowers and just hope a guy talks to them.
"A man will jump over a lot of hurdles to sleep with a woman that is hotter than himself, or at least, hotter than the other girls he's slept with. The more attractive you are relative to him, the more cautious you need to be. This is complicated by the fact that it is perfectly possible for a man that is less attractive than a girl to be sexually attracted to her and interested in her as a person (i.e. not overwhelmed by her beauty so much that he doesn't consider her personality). There is a danger of losing a guy like this by putting up too many hurdles and discouraging him. My suggestion: don't play below your league."
The writer has no respect for anyone including himself.0 -
Every 16 year old girl in the country needs to read these:
http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2012/04/men-dont-have-commitment-problems.html
http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2012/01/dont-let-guy-waste-your-most-eligible.html
http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2011/09/dont-initiate-contact.html
Oh, the time I wasted when I was young.
I will probably sound like an old grouch but once a person gets into or past their mid 30s they I bet will think this is nothing but tripe.
Carl, Thank you for being the male voice of reason around here. :flowerforyou:
To me it is insulting to both men and women.
For those that didn`t read it this is the last paragraph from the one telling women to be wallflowers and just hope a guy talks to them.
"A man will jump over a lot of hurdles to sleep with a woman that is hotter than himself, or at least, hotter than the other girls he's slept with. The more attractive you are relative to him, the more cautious you need to be. This is complicated by the fact that it is perfectly possible for a man that is less attractive than a girl to be sexually attracted to her and interested in her as a person (i.e. not overwhelmed by her beauty so much that he doesn't consider her personality). There is a danger of losing a guy like this by putting up too many hurdles and discouraging him. My suggestion: don't play below your league."
The writer has no respect for anyone including himself.
Nicely said husband.0 -
I will probably sound like an old grouch but once a person gets into or past their mid 30s they I bet will think this is nothing but tripe.
I’m 38, and I’ve found each of those three blog posts to be true. I wish I’d known this stuff when I was in my 20s -- it would have saved me a lot of heartache and wasted time.So how YOU doin' ??
Oh, Mike. I’m much too old and decrepit for you. :laugh:0 -
lol Wait am I supposed to be suprised that most men value looks? I think we have hashed this out before. However I did read all of this guys blogs and one that I found interesting one how every guy has different tastes and how each man is attracted to different things. Personally I look the way I look to make myself happy which inturn makes me very confident which as we have all observed makes everyone more attractive. I fully expect I guy to be attracted to looks first. Lets face it not matter how rockin your personality is a guy cant see it from across the room. Your looks hook them your personality reels them in.0
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It took me a long time to realize that men really don't seem to care how much money I make or how successful I am. In fact, he even has a blog post about that:
http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2012/05/men-dont-care-about-your.html
I am very successful in my career and make more money than any single man I have ever met, but I have yet to find one who even cares. At first I found it bizarre, and then I just accepted it. It doesn't matter to them.
I don't think it's too much to ask to try and make yourself look good if you want to attract a man. I also don't think it is shocking to hear that men like to look at beautiful women. You can do the best with what you have.In some ways, I think men do have it harder. For women in many cases all you have to do is look good and have a reasonably decent personality to get a man interested.
You really get it with these two quotes. Men are not impressed with a woman's career achievements. It does not determine attraction. I think a stable earner who doesn't work a ton of hours is what would be most valued by the majority of men. You are exactly right on what a woman needs to get a man interested. What men define as a "reasonably decent personality" and what women define as that likely differs.0 -
My thoughts.
This blog is perfect for people desperate to fit in. If you care more about appearance and what other people think of you, then print this up and worship it as your bible. Do this if you have no personality and you are so obsessed with finding a partner to have purpose and meaning in your life without having to actually, you know, have purpose and meaning in your life.
Anyone worth their weight in salt is going to see this and do that disgusted chuckle and a requisite eyeroll and move on with their lives. For anyone else... do what you want. You don't want a person that will be attracted by these tactics, you want a person that lives life. Does things. Has hobbies. Appreciates when you wear heels but doesn't care when you opt for flip flops.
While yes, I agree that these barbie doll cookie cutter women "control" the dating pool, most of them exist as fantasies. Any person of substance will learn that these people are to be admired from afar, even saved in a spank bank for lonely nights in front of the computer screen, hell possibly even fleeting sexcapades. But in reality? No one worth your time is looking for that. The person that is worth your time might take a minute to see past your short hair, or that he met you on a day you chose not to wear make up.
If you have a shiny personality that's what going to matter. Because let's face it, you can polish a *kitten*, but it's still just *kitten*.0 -
This blog is perfect for people desperate to fit in. If you care more about appearance and what other people think of you, then print this up and worship it as your bible. Do this if you have no personality and you are so obsessed with finding a partner to have purpose and meaning in your life without having to actually, you know, have purpose and meaning in your life.
^^^This is so true. If you want superficial, good luck finding your perfect superficial match (to each their own). Just don't cry down the road if the looks fade and they have no personality to go with it.0 -
My thoughts.
This blog is perfect for people desperate to fit in. If you care more about appearance and what other people think of you, then print this up and worship it as your bible. Do this if you have no personality and you are so obsessed with finding a partner to have purpose and meaning in your life without having to actually, you know, have purpose and meaning in your life.
Anyone worth their weight in salt is going to see this and do that disgusted chuckle and a requisite eyeroll and move on with their lives. For anyone else... do what you want. You don't want a person that will be attracted by these tactics, you want a person that lives life. Does things. Has hobbies. Appreciates when you wear heels but doesn't care when you opt for flip flops.
While yes, I agree that these barbie doll cookie cutter women "control" the dating pool, most of them exist as fantasies. Any person of substance will learn that these people are to be admired from afar, even saved in a spank bank for lonely nights in front of the computer screen, hell possibly even fleeting sexcapades. But in reality? No one worth your time is looking for that. The person that is worth your time might take a minute to see past your short hair, or that he met you on a day you chose not to wear make up.
If you have a shiny personality that's what going to matter. Because let's face it, you can polish a *kitten*, but it's still just *kitten*.
And today.. we agree completely.0 -
This blog is perfect for people desperate to fit in. If you care more about appearance and what other people think of you, then print this up and worship it as your bible. Do this if you have no personality and you are so obsessed with finding a partner to have purpose and meaning in your life without having to actually, you know, have purpose and meaning in your life.
Wow, really? You may disagree with what this guy says, but he is not off the mark with how many, many men think. If you want to ignore it and write it off, that’s your prerogative. However, I think a lot of women could learn from this guy. I’ve seen many women (myself included!) waste a lot of time on men who were lukewarm for them, when they could have been out meeting someone who was hot for them. Nowadays I hear so much about young teenage girls giving multiple guys BJs because they think that is how you get a man interested. It’s sad. (Hell, this guy even has a post called “Don’t F*** On The First Date.”) It’s also far worse now with the variety and quantity offered by online dating. I’m not sure what any of what is posted on his blog has to do with allegedly having no personality or purpose and meaning in life. From what I can tell, most women are looking for a man to marry.Anyone worth their weight in salt is going to see this and do that disgusted chuckle and a requisite eyeroll and move on with their lives.
See through what, exactly? Maybe you’ve never deluded yourself into believing that, for example, a man had commitment issues when in reality he simply did not want to commit to you, or that a man was totally into you when he clearly wasn’t. You’re lucky. Most women haven’t had that experience. Many women (again, myself included) have wasted years on relationships that were going nowhere -- which we would have realized if we had only opened our eyes a little wider. Do I agree with everything he posts? No, of course not. Would I write off the entire blog because of it? No way.For anyone else... do what you want. You don't want a person that will be attracted by these tactics, you want a person that lives life. Does things. Has hobbies. Appreciates when you wear heels but doesn't care when you opt for flip flops.
What tactics? He isn’t saying you have to be in heels all the time. He is saying that men are attracted when women wear heels. While yes, there may be exceptions, I have found this to be true. He suggests wearing heels sometimes – I think three times a week. Personally, I wear them seven days a week and don’t understand at all why women complain they are uncomfortable. That’s ridiculous. I have heels that are more comfortable than my Keen’s. I happen to like wearing them. I’m also not sure why a man who likes it when a woman wears heels (or appreciates a beautiful woman) suddenly has no life or hobbies. What on earth does that have to do with it?While yes, I agree that these barbie doll cookie cutter women "control" the dating pool, most of them exist as fantasies. Any person of substance will learn that these people are to be admired from afar, even saved in a spank bank for lonely nights in front of the computer screen, hell possibly even fleeting sexcapades. But in reality? No one worth your time is looking for that. The person that is worth your time might take a minute to see past your short hair, or that he met you on a day you chose not to wear make up.
Assuming he noticed you at all. Maybe he will, maybe he won’t. But why put yourself at a disadvantage? Why not try to make yourself presentable when you are leaving the house? Is it really that hard to put on a little mascara or lipstick? With regard to the short hair thing, his point is that many men prefer women with longer hair. I’ve also found this to be true in my experience. Does that mean that if you can rock out a short hairstyle you shouldn’t do it? Of course not. Nothing is 100% . If you look great in short hair, go for it. His point is simply that you may be limiting your dating pool by doing so.
And are you really insinuating that looks don’t matter, and that anyone who believes otherwise has no substance? Really? Because from where I’m standing physical attraction is a pretty damn important part of a relationship, and even men “of substance” would prefer to have a good looking woman standing next to them.
Honestly, I would've also thought this was all BS when I was 24. I’m going to do what I want and approach men, call men, chase men, ask men out, wear what I want when I want, hang out, be loud and sarcastic and funny, try to force a square peg in a round hole because I’m so “in love” and if he doesn’t appreciate it or me, then screw him anyway, because there are plenty of fish in the sea. What I didn’t realize at the time is that many of those fish have the same viewpoint as the guy who posts on this blog, and are off marrying all of those “Barbie doll cookie cutter women” you so disdain. Have I changed myself? Nope, not a bit. I’m still the same person I was. However, I am a much, much better dater than I was in my 20s, and I get much more male attention than I ever did in my 20s. I’ve also been much happier because I haven’t spent time worrying about minutia or pining over men who were lukewarm about me – in large part because my mind was open enough to pay attention to what was going on around me in the dating world.0 -
Assuming he noticed you at all. Maybe he will, maybe he won’t. But why put yourself at a disadvantage? Why not try to make yourself presentable when you are leaving the house? Is it really that hard to put on a little mascara or lipstick? With regard to the short hair thing, his point is that many men prefer women with longer hair. I’ve also found this to be true in my experience. Does that mean that if you can rock out a short hairstyle you shouldn’t do it? Of course not. Nothing is 100% . If you look great in short hair, go for it. His point is simply that you may be limiting your dating pool by doing so.
He has a post that kinda discusses the whole hair thing: http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2011/09/because-of-and-in-spite-of.html
I agree with you here KLS. No one has to go out in fancy clothes and heels every day, but you should at least put some effort into what you wear and act like. I never wear sweats out in public, it's just not attractive to me. I try to dress nice every day - flats, nice jeans or dress pants, sweaters or blouses, with makeup and jewelry and nail polish. I'm already at a disadvantage with men because I'm overweight, and lack dating experience, and am not very confident, so I have to emphasize my positive qualities, and I think everyone should too. I have a friend who wore sweats to class every day and then wondered why no guys liked her...but when she dressed up nice, she always got male attention. Put your best foot forward - heels or no heels.0 -
I agree with both of you.Assuming he noticed you at all. Maybe he will, maybe he won’t. But why put yourself at a disadvantage? Why not try to make yourself presentable when you are leaving the house? Is it really that hard to put on a little mascara or lipstick? With regard to the short hair thing, his point is that many men prefer women with longer hair. I’ve also found this to be true in my experience. Does that mean that if you can rock out a short hairstyle you shouldn’t do it? Of course not. Nothing is 100% . If you look great in short hair, go for it. His point is simply that you may be limiting your dating pool by doing so.
He has a post that kinda discusses the whole hair thing: http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2011/09/because-of-and-in-spite-of.html
I agree with you here KLS. No one has to go out in fancy clothes and heels every day, but you should at least put some effort into what you wear and act like. I never wear sweats out in public, it's just not attractive to me. I try to dress nice every day - flats, nice jeans or dress pants, sweaters or blouses, with makeup and jewelry and nail polish. I'm already at a disadvantage with men because I'm overweight, and lack dating experience, and am not very confident, so I have to emphasize my positive qualities, and I think everyone should too. I have a friend who wore sweats to class every day and then wondered why no guys liked her...but when she dressed up nice, she always got male attention. Put your best foot forward - heels or no heels.
At no point did the guy say that you have to wear make up and heels in the morning during breakfast or when you are in your bathroom, on your own. He is obviously talking about "presenting yourself" to other people, especially if you are going out to a place where you are likely to meet a potential partner.
Also, the "hot women" (looks wise) I've met were always very intelligent and articulate people as well, having an opinion.
Well, at least that's true for the ones I deemed date-able that's for sure!
I don't understand why there is this tendency to think that "hot people" are shallow and/or stupid.
They certainly understand one thing better than most people, being pleasant to people's eyes will open you some doors, as sad as it is, and as "reassuring" the thought of being judged solely for your personality is.
Rest assured that intelligence is not exclusive to ugly people...
It's easy to fall from one extreme to another and talk about shallow men and shallow women.
The fun thing is that people complain about this, and are being rebellious to the idea as if society cared. But society is just like this.
I find it similar to complain against the idea of "money". You can complain about it all you want, but at the end of the day, you will still need to pay the bills with money tomorrow, because our society is like this.
Now please join the rest of us in the herd and comply, will you?
You can try your luck on the margin of society, and might be lucky, but the truth is you will probably just have to comply, to an extent and be "presentable". Especially if everyone around you is doing it (thus creating a minimum standard).
To add on this: why limit yourself basically. It is possible, by doing a reasonable effort, to increase the size of your dating pool, to attract "hotter" people, you can still decide to only be interested in intelligent people and you are still free to date "ugly" people if that's your thing.0 -
Y'all are taking my post out of context.
I never said attractive people that wear heels, grow their hair long or refuse to wear sweats are vapid/stupid/shallow and I certainly never advocated that appearance doesn't matter.
What I said was, and it's important that this is the first paragraph I wrote:This blog is perfect for people desperate to fit in. If you care more about appearance and what other people think of you, then print this up and worship it as your bible. Do this if you have no personality and you are so obsessed with finding a partner to have purpose and meaning in your life without having to actually, you know, have purpose and meaning in your life.
Which means if you have nothing going for you, and all you're doing is trying to attract a man then that guy is dead on. If you do all these things for you, because you like to, then that's awesome. Hell I do the same thing. I wear heels because they make my legs look amazing and I feel good. I put on eyeliner and mascara when I go out because it gets me pumped up to go, I look good I feel good.
But the person who does all those things JUST to get a man, does anything JUST for the sake of not being alone, is empty inside. They're trying to fill a void within themselves and the only way they believe that can happen is if they find someone else. So they print out this to-do list and live by it which creates a very pretty veneer but develops nothing of real value or longevity.
So while, yeah, if I never wore my hair in a ponytail and if I didn't feel like skimping on makeup half the time, if I only ever left the house with my full "face" I could easily find someone to bone. But I don't want to live my life that way, I like being able to chillax and not worry that the moment he sees me wear the same pajamas I wore last night he's going to bail. I like living a comfortable lifestyle of moderation. And I'd rather by happy by myself than worrying about making my hair appointment, wait, was it a nail appointment? Shoot, I need to schedule that pedicure. Oh damn, and that waxing! Crap, I am more tan this summer, I need to get my complexion reanalyzed.
Geez, I have way too much reading/gaming/karaoke singing/working out/dog walking/cat training to do to worry about that. Telling me that I'm going to "struggle" to find someone to share my life with is so... petty. I'm not struggling, I don't even care about finding a partner now.
So yeah, this guy is catering to the shallow and empty. I am talking about the general tone of the blog too, not specific ones regarding commitment, or something about teenage girls giving blow jobs. I did note the ad hominem attack about my life and how lucky I am to have never been taken advantage of, or the cute dig about my age. Here's the thing, it's adorable that you think you know me well enough based on my general statement of a blog, or about my assertion in having value in oneself being more important than regular manicures to fight off loneliness. Do me a favor and keep on topic, you don't know me well enough for that tangent.0 -
Apparently everyone is doing it "for themselves". Ask around, and you will see the answer you will get...But the person who does all those things JUST to get a man, does anything JUST for the sake of not being alone, is empty inside. They're trying to fill a void within themselves and the only way they believe that can happen is if they find someone else. So they print out this to-do list and live by it which creates a very pretty veneer but develops nothing of real value or longevity.
Either you:
- Believe these answers, and accept nobody is doing JUST to get a man
- Accept that you are lying to yourself too about doing it "just for yourself"
You see a partner as an "adversary", someone who is in it to drag you down.Geez, I have way too much reading/gaming/karaoke singing/working out/dog walking/cat training to do to worry about that. Telling me that I'm going to "struggle" to find someone to share my life with is so... petty. I'm not struggling, I don't even care about finding a partner now.
While it can be to an extent and in some situations, you should see a partner as a nice complement to your life, someone with who you could share all these moments (and would even offer some new ideas). Can't see anything wrong with that. As you would grow attached to him/her, you would learn to compose with them in the picture.
Given your age and desires in life (you're not 38 y.o. desperately trying to have children while the clock is ticking) I think you can actually afford to have a "near perfect" match and kick them out of your life if they don't fit in perfectly... So it is still worth finding a partner IMHO.0 -
Feels strange not being on the receiving end of Kitsunes wrath :laugh:
I will say this, like Kitsune, I have a lot going on in my life right now. I have an active social life, tons of hobbies, weightlifting, work, a house to maintain, etc etc. Luckily, I'm financially and emotionally independent, meaning I can cruise through the rest of my life with relative ease (barring any unforeseen circumstances). I've reached the stage in my life a few years back where I don't have to rely on anyone for anything. I also don't have the burning desire to marry or be a father anytime soon.
However, this has also brought out the absolute worst in me. It's made me incredibly shallow and I absolutely refuse to settle for anything less than what I want. I won't sacrifice my current hobbies or life for just an average to slightly above average girl, *it's just not worth it to me*. If the girl doesn't have almost everything I'm looking for, I'm not going to even entertain the idea of getting to know her on a romatic level.
I will say, even though my standards are pretty high, they're realistic. I've dated women over the past few years who I'd love to have in my life and would be worth sacrificing some hobbies and time for.
Not sure if this is common attitude that many single, professional men have..?0 -
Feels strange not being on the receiving end of Kitsunes wrath :laugh:
I will say this, like Kitsune, I have a lot going on in my life right now. I have an active social life, tons of hobbies, weightlifting, work, a house to maintain, etc etc. Luckily, I'm financially and emotionally independent, meaning I can cruise through the rest of my life with relative ease (barring any unforeseen circumstances). I've reached the stage in my life a few years back where I don't have to rely on anyone for anything. I also don't have the burning desire to marry or be a father anytime soon.
However, this has also brought out the absolute worst in me. It's made me incredibly shallow and I absolutely refuse to settle for anything less than what I want. I won't sacrifice my current hobbies or life for just an average to slightly above average girl, *it's just not worth it to me*. If the girl doesn't have almost everything I'm looking for, I'm not going to even entertain the idea of getting to know her on a romatic level.
I will say, even though my standards are pretty high, they're realistic. I've dated women over the past few years who I'd love to have in my life and would be worth sacrificing some hobbies and time for.
Not sure if this is common attitude that many single, professional men have..?
That's totally fine, if you can score the "complete package" then power to ya! I don't have a problem with high standards. I do have a problem with the idea that the only way someone can score a decent partner is if they focus on how good looking and appealing they are to other people. Basically, it's fine if that's what you want, but to assert that there's no other way to live is where I have a problem.
Flam - I'm addressing the blog. Not anyone on here. When the root of why you are making all the improvements in your life is "So I can find a man", your life must be pretty empty. While yes, to a degree I started getting my life in order is because I wanted to attract the higher caliber of men I found myself attracted to, in the meantime I also managed to rediscover myself and my passions. Then it became not about finding a mate, but about living my life. Yes, I know someday someone will fit, or I'll be willing to make the changes that fit. I'm not saying that I see all partners as a drain on my life - I'm saying I'm willing to wait it out for the complement, rather than completely up-heave my life to fit what one dude describes as the ideal (which predominantly focuses on appearance over anything else). The examples of me living my life are in place of regular tanning/hair appointments/nail appointments - but if I found a dude that wanted to go rock climbing instead of karaoking? Hell yes, let's do this. I just think there's more to life than maintaining a facade of perfection.0 -
and it's thinking like that, that makes me SOOO grateful that i have zero need for a man. that way, i'm not sitting around waiting and hoping that some guy will find ME valuable to him.
i spent 15 yrs with my ex HOPING that one day he'd find me worthy of being loved...... it never happened. even though i did every single thing he ever asked and expected of me.
you two would probably be grand friends. he lives for his money and stuff. i gave him the 4000sq ft house and moved me and my 5 kids into a 900 sq ft place because WHO the HELL needs all that space? really??!!!??? so he lives, alone, in a 4000 sq ft house, making his 250,000 a year, traveling all over the place, thinking of hiring someone to cook and clean for him on the weekends he has the kids, and yet he STILL won't leave me alone!!!!!
i live a TINY amount of money, in a TINY house, with all of the responsibilities and i am HAPPY!!! happier than i have been since i was a sophomore in college!!! i have a wonderful life and i keep myself very very busy. i have learned new skills and gotten into new hobbies. i don't sit around and wait for life, i get out and do something with mine. and i don't need a man to do that, or enjoy myself and my time.
and according to the guys here, i'll be waiting, for forever basically, LOL! so, i might as well keep with my current plan. and that is focus on me, and my kids, and what makes me happy. doing what i want, when i want even if i'm doing it alone. and teach myself stuff and learn how to do things so that i DON"T need a man around. and if i DO need a man for something, like heavy lifting, ask my landlord, or a friends' hubby :-) because really, i NEVER want a guy that only wants looks and money. i was born into money, and i married a hot guy that made a lot of money and at the end of the day, it's all very worthless :-)Feels strange not being on the receiving end of Kitsunes wrath :laugh:
I will say this, like Kitsune, I have a lot going on in my life right now. I have an active social life, tons of hobbies, weightlifting, work, a house to maintain, etc etc. Luckily, I'm financially and emotionally independent, meaning I can cruise through the rest of my life with relative ease (barring any unforeseen circumstances). I've reached the stage in my life a few years back where I don't have to rely on anyone for anything. I also don't have the burning desire to marry or be a father anytime soon.
However, this has also brought out the absolute worst in me. It's made me incredibly shallow and I absolutely refuse to settle for anything less than what I want. I won't sacrifice my current hobbies or life for just an average to slightly above average girl, *it's just not worth it to me*. If the girl doesn't have almost everything I'm looking for, I'm not going to even entertain the idea of getting to know her on a romatic level.
I will say, even though my standards are pretty high, they're realistic. I've dated women over the past few years who I'd love to have in my life and would be worth sacrificing some hobbies and time for.
Not sure if this is common attitude that many single, professional men have..?0 -
Deleted because of fragile emotional state & fear of being ripped to shreds.0
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I mean... if Jenna Fischer gets 7.5... Then I don't even want to know what I am. :laugh:
I was shocked at that! And Carrie Underwood a 6. I'm sorry, but she's a perfect 10.0
