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  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,370 Member
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    You can't be lazy about your looks as a woman.

    As a woman, this is #1 to men. Good looks rule the roost. With good looks, the dating world (and the world at large) is a woman's oyster.

    Men not only have to think about looks, but also we have to be concerned with our earning power. There are more variables that go into play with this than achieving and maintaining good looks.

    I wonder what is considered good looks for a woman. Is it just by a persons taste or is it really all of the above as this guy states.

    No two guys will find every woman equally attractive and I don`t give a crap what this person blogged,looks are not the only thing in life.
    I have known of some very good looking ladies that even if they begged I wouldn`t have anything to do with them because they were just miserable people.
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,064 Member
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    You can't be lazy about your looks as a woman.

    As a woman, this is #1 to men. Good looks rule the roost. With good looks, the dating world (and the world at large) is a woman's oyster.

    Men not only have to think about looks, but also we have to be concerned with our earning power. There are more variables that go into play with this than achieving and maintaining good looks.

    I wonder what is considered good looks for a woman. Is it just by a persons taste or is it really all of the above as this guy states.

    I think it's personal taste. There are gonna be some men who love a woman with short hair. And some men will dislike
    It. One of my old friends had long hair her whole life, then she chopped it off a few years ago. I think she looks better with longer hair, but the short hair ia more like her personality so it works for her.

    A lot of times, if I find a guy hot my friends are like "really?" and vice versa.
  • MikeM53082
    MikeM53082 Posts: 1,199 Member
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    You can't be lazy about your looks as a woman.

    As a woman, this is #1 to men. Good looks rule the roost. With good looks, the dating world (and the world at large) is a woman's oyster.

    Men not only have to think about looks, but also we have to be concerned with our earning power. There are more variables that go into play with this than achieving and maintaining good looks.

    Whatever is most important to the opposite sex will always "rule the roost". That's just one of the facts of life.

    For men, looks are very high on our list when it comes to finding a partner. So there's definitely a good amount of pressure on women to be attractive as possible.

    From a man's POV, I've always felt an enormous amount of pressure to please the opposite sex. There's always been pressure to get a good job, make decent money, be as charming as possible, look good, etc etc. That's just life.
  • kristen6022
    kristen6022 Posts: 1,926 Member
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    Time and time again we've worked our way around the "If a woman is under 30, a 8-10 the dating world is her oyster". Even though I'd said it before, I say is again, it's bull. Here's why.

    Example #1. I have a friend who's 5'8, 130lbs (spends 6-7 days in the gym, a** you could bounce pennys off), size 2, long medium brown hair, great teeth, C cup size, good personality, blah blah blah. I met her when she was 27, she's 32 now haven't changed looks as far as I'm concerned. She's always been that girl I've been jealous of. The "Oh, if I could only have that body" syndrome. She's still single and having a HORRIBLE time finding the right guy. Every guy she meets that she's attracted to just wants her for sex. Every guy that doesn't just want her for sex she's not attracted to (they bore her). Every guy that meets her wants to bang her and as soon as they get to know her they want nothing to do with her.

    I'm 5'11, 147lbs (and this is after a 40+ lbs weigh loss). I'm going to be 34 in less than a month. I don't go to the gym 6-7 days a week (my *ss looks like a 34 year olds), I have short hair, my teeth aren't perfect. I'd say I'm a 7 on a good day. I have a guy that adores me even if I'm not perfect that I adore equally. I think he's under the impression I poop Skittles. I'm happy, she's miserable. Where has said friend's looks gotten her?

    I know all the guys are going to fight me on this but I don't believe men feel looks are EVERYTHING. Attraction is EVERYTHING. Cause I can tell you every morning when we wake up my boyfriend says to me "God, you are beautiful". Trust me folks, I look like every other women when she wakes up - bed head, no make up, sheet marks, "sleepy kitty face". It ain't beautiful, but he finds me beautiful. It only takes that one guy...
  • Danielle_2013
    Danielle_2013 Posts: 806 Member
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    This blog was irritating...yet I kept reading...may go back today. I would like to see a list of this guy's qualifications. Has he dated hot women? Has he been elected on behalf of all males in America to pass opinion, judgment and advice to women?

    A Venn diagram. Seriously??

    Besides the fact I will wear my hair any damn way I please based on MY own opinion of what I like...I just can't believe so much time and effort and learning must go into the supposed science of finding and/or trapping and/or securing a mate. While some of it does ring true...the overall message really is...if you want a man, change everything about yourself to cater to his imagined and stereotypical preferences.

    Um..sorry..no. Since when did men actually have all the power in this any way?
    #onebittersingleguysopiniononly
  • flimflamfloz
    flimflamfloz Posts: 1,980 Member
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    You can't be lazy about your looks as a woman.
    As a woman, this is #1 to men. Good looks rule the roost. With good looks, the dating world (and the world at large) is a woman's oyster.

    Men not only have to think about looks, but also we have to be concerned with our earning power. There are more variables that go into play with this than achieving and maintaining good looks.
    I wonder what is considered good looks for a woman. Is it just by a persons taste or is it really all of the above as this guy states.
    I think it's personal taste. There are gonna be some men who love a woman with short hair. And some men will dislike
    It. One of my old friends had long hair her whole life, then she chopped it off a few years ago. I think she looks better with longer hair, but the short hair ia more like her personality so it works for her.
    The answer to this is twofold:

    1) There are general preferences
    Most men prefer long hair. Maybe your neighbor doesn't, or your friend tells you you look great with short hair. It doesn't matter, the point remains that men = short hair, women = long hair.
    And yes that means that you can have short hair and still attract men. But just be aware that people have a certain tolerance threshold, so the less you comply, the more likely people are to say that's enough past a certain point.

    The more you deviate, the more you reduce (and perhaps change) your dating pool. It can be OK to reduce AND change your dating pool though if you are after a specific subset of the population (not the "main crowd") that your new characteristics now attract (even though you've alienated yourself the main share of the population).

    2) Found this, on the same blog.
    I read it in diagonals, but it seems true enough... The staples of beauty:
    http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2011/09/feminine-beauty-is-highly-controllable.html
    Now you can have blue eyes or brown eyes, long hair or short hair and still seduce. But generally speaking this is it.

    All these things are very much tied to a specific society so don't go to the inuits using the same beauty tips please, for your own sanity.
    (aslo: http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2011/10/you-can-control-how-attractive-you-are.html)
  • flimflamfloz
    flimflamfloz Posts: 1,980 Member
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    Um..sorry..no. Since when did men actually have all the power in this any way?
    This particular guy might not have all the power in this, but men as a whole decide who they are attracted to.

    If I show all the men of the "Western world" two pictures of women:
    20100824-dongria-kondh-woman.jpg
    Women A

    woman.png
    Women B

    I would imagine that the overwhelming majority of men would say Women B is more to their taste.
    So the only thing that will change should you chose not to comply is that your level of attraction.

    Now I get the guy is very extreme in what he says, which is clearly part of his marketing strategy (being a bit harsh). The bottom line remains true though.

    Note:
    for anyone interested about woman A, here is a bit of background
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kondha
    The Dongrias are great admirer of aesthetic romanticism. Their personal adornment is unique with each male and female member using hair clips, ear rings neck rings, hand rings made up of brass, iron and Hyndalium prepared by themselves as well as purchased from local markets. Body tattooing is practiced by both sexes.
    I'm pretty sure she has lots of male admirers then, in her society - so don't worry about her.
  • MikeM53082
    MikeM53082 Posts: 1,199 Member
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    Um..sorry..no. Since when did men actually have all the power in this any way?
    This particular guy might not have all the power in this, but men as a whole decide who they are attracted to.

    If I show all the men of the "Western world" two pictures of women:
    20100824-dongria-kondh-woman.jpg
    Women A

    woman.png
    Women B

    I would imagine that the overwhelming majority of men would say Women B is more to their taste.
    So the only thing that will change should you chose not to comply is that your level of attraction.

    Now I get the guy is very extreme in what he says, which is clearly part of his marketing strategy (being a bit harsh). The bottom line remains true though.

    Note:
    for anyone interested about woman A, here is a bit of background
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kondha
    The Dongrias are great admirer of aesthetic romanticism. Their personal adornment is unique with each male and female member using hair clips, ear rings neck rings, hand rings made up of brass, iron and Hyndalium prepared by themselves as well as purchased from local markets. Body tattooing is practiced by both sexes.
    I'm pretty sure she has lots of male admirers then, in her society - so don't worry about her.

    I see your point.. it'd be interesting to see if men in Woman A's home country would pick her over Woman B?

    For all we know, men can be polled all over the world and they might all pick Woman B. We just don't know.
  • MikeM53082
    MikeM53082 Posts: 1,199 Member
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    I might add that I love this blog. I think the information is golden and spot on.

    I would absolutely LOVE if there was a brutally honest blog like this written by a female. I'd love to read a well written blog where I can gain more and more insight into the female mind. Jenna Marbles is pretty good, but she injects so much sarcasm that I view it as more of comedy as opposed to informative.

    If anyone knows of one, please share it.
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
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    Jenna Marbles is pretty good, but she injects so much sarcasm that I view it as more of comedy as opposed to informative.

    If anyone knows of one, please share it.

    I believe that Jenna Marbles intends to be a comedienne, not a dating guru. There's some merit in stuff she says, though I don't think she's intended to be taken seriously.
  • kls13la
    kls13la Posts: 377 Member
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    I haven't read the entire blog (obviously), but I think it is generally spot on. You may not like what you are hearing, but that doesn't mean it's not true.

    Every 16 year old girl in the country needs to read these:

    http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2012/04/men-dont-have-commitment-problems.html

    http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2012/01/dont-let-guy-waste-your-most-eligible.html

    http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2011/09/dont-initiate-contact.html

    Oh, the time I wasted when I was young.
  • MikeM53082
    MikeM53082 Posts: 1,199 Member
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    I haven't read the entire blog (obviously), but I think it is generally spot on. You may not like what you are hearing, but that doesn't mean it's not true.

    Every 16 year old girl in the country needs to read these:

    http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2012/04/men-dont-have-commitment-problems.html

    http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2012/01/dont-let-guy-waste-your-most-eligible.html

    http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2011/09/dont-initiate-contact.html

    Oh, the time I wasted when I was young.

    Those are three great blog posts, especially the commitment problems one. Very spot on.

    My favorite one has been this.

    http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2011/09/feminine-beauty-is-highly-controllable.html

    I do think it's a bit wrong to put so much importance on facial structure (20%) when it's not controllable at all (5%). But it's true.

    I'd love to see a male equivalent chart!
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
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    This post makes a lot of sense. A lot of women make the mistake of picking the wrong guy during their prime years.

    The goal, for both sexes, should be to make the right call early in life and stay off the dating market for life. Life goes so much easier that way.
  • Danielle_2013
    Danielle_2013 Posts: 806 Member
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    I haven't read the entire blog (obviously), but I think it is generally spot on. You may not like what you are hearing, but that doesn't mean it's not true.

    Every 16 year old girl in the country needs to read these:

    http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2012/04/men-dont-have-commitment-problems.html

    http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2012/01/dont-let-guy-waste-your-most-eligible.html

    http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2011/09/dont-initiate-contact.html

    Oh, the time I wasted when I was young.

    Okay.. I actually do agree with these three in particular too. I am just tired of all the female beauty stuff.
    Honestly.. ENOUGH already.. we aren't all thin (yet), we don't all have hair that looks good worn long, we aren't all friggin' Jessica Alba. Can we just have a day of rest on being beaten over the head with physical expectations that some of us (most?) will not be likely to obtain easily, if at all? WE GET IT. Hot chicks have more options.

    Yes, I am cranky and bloated. Shut up.
    :grumble:
  • jenbit
    jenbit Posts: 4,289 Member
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    LOL ....So I used to have long hair and I mean Looooong hair I had a braind that came to my waist. Problem was whenever I would take my hair down It would overwhelm my body and face it was to thick and curly. I never got approached or anything. I cut my hair to my chin and wear it curly (most of the time) and I get approached all the time now.
    The whole you cant be lazy about buety thing. My best friend and I were talking about that. Working with what you have and using it to your advantage. Again to use the example my sister is defiinatly upper tier 8-9. Shes thins with long hair and quite frankly gorgious. But she dresses like a hobo. Lately she wont dress up at all. When we can drag her out she wearsher baggiest pants and shirts (she looks like shes 12) and no make up or doing her hair. Now my friend and I both dress decently and put on atleast some lipgloss (depending on where we are going). Effort matters alot because it shows some confidence in yourself
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
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    Okay.. I actually do agree with these three in particular too. I am just tired of all the female beauty stuff.
    Honestly.. ENOUGH already.. we aren't all thin (yet), we don't all have hair that looks good worn long, we aren't all friggin' Jessica Alba. Can we just have a day of rest on being beaten over the head with physical expectations that some of us (most?) will not be likely to obtain easily, if at all? WE GET IT. Hot chicks have more options.

    Yes, I am cranky and bloated. Shut up.
    :grumble:
    From a man's POV, I've always felt an enormous amount of pressure to please the opposite sex. There's always been pressure to get a good job, make decent money, be as charming as possible, look good, etc etc. That's just life.

    Both these quotes show the stresses of the genders. Women have the looks issue to contend with. Men have to be concerned with looks, but also personality and financial metrics like income and net worth. I think looks are more controllable than your micro level career/financial picture, which can often be governed by macro level economic policy.
  • Danielle_2013
    Danielle_2013 Posts: 806 Member
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    Both these quotes show the stresses of the genders. Women have the looks issue to contend with. Men have to be concerned with looks, but also personality and financial metrics like income and net worth. I think looks are more controllable than your micro level career/financial picture, which can often be governed by macro level economic policy.

    With all due respect.. I am pretty sure a decent personality is also required of most women. Additionally, I think I might have a better chance of amassing a large personal fortune than acquiring a thigh gap!
  • kls13la
    kls13la Posts: 377 Member
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    Both these quotes show the stresses of the genders. Women have the looks issue to contend with. Men have to be concerned with looks, but also personality and financial metrics like income and net worth. I think looks are more controllable than your micro level career/financial picture, which can often be governed by macro level economic policy.

    It took me a long time to realize that men really don't seem to care how much money I make or how successful I am. In fact, he even has a blog post about that:

    http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2012/05/men-dont-care-about-your.html

    I am very successful in my career and make more money than any single man I have ever met, but I have yet to find one who even cares. At first I found it bizarre, and then I just accepted it. It doesn't matter to them.

    I don't think it's too much to ask to try and make yourself look good if you want to attract a man. I also don't think it is shocking to hear that men like to look at beautiful women. You can do the best with what you have.

    I believe women are less picky from a looks perspective and more interested in other factors, such as income, job, personality, sense of humor, etc. (Or at least I think women may give a man a chance if he is hitting it on all cylinders in other aspects of his life and isn't the best looking. I think men are less likely to go out with a woman they don't think is good looking, even if she does make six figures.) In some ways, I think men do have it harder. For women in many cases all you have to do is look good and have a reasonably decent personality to get a man interested.
  • BelMckenzie
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    This post makes a lot of sense. A lot of women make the mistake of picking the wrong guy during their prime years.

    The goal, for both sexes, should be to make the right call early in life and stay off the dating market for life. Life goes so much easier that way.

    This to me is just common sense, there is no need to be in a relationship when you feel it will never go anywhere.

    This blog only irritates me. After reading parts of this blog and it making me feel like **** since every outfit, every hairstyle, and every workout- I do for myself. In no way do I want my ultimate appearance to be so I can attract the best guy. I don't want to feel uncomfortable wearing heels every day when I want to wear boots or feel compelled grow my hair long when it will be flat or waste my hard earned money on weaves, extension or plastic surgery. My confidence I gain is when I feel I am at my best and I don't need a guy to dictate what I need to wear or how long I need to grow my hair.
  • MikeM53082
    MikeM53082 Posts: 1,199 Member
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    It took me a long time to realize that men really don't seem to care how much money I make or how successful I am. In fact, he even has a blog post about that:

    http://www.therulesrevisited.com/2012/05/men-dont-care-about-your.html

    I am very successful in my career and make more money than any single man I have ever met, but I have yet to find one who even cares. At first I found it bizarre, and then I just accepted it. It doesn't matter to them.

    I don't think it's too much to ask to try and make yourself look good if you want to attract a man. I also don't think it is shocking to hear that men like to look at beautiful women. You can do the best with what you have.

    I believe women are less picky from a looks perspective and more interested in other factors, such as income, job, personality, sense of humor, etc. (Or at least I think women may give a man a chance if he is hitting it on all cylinders in other aspects of his life and isn't the best looking. I think men are less likely to go out with a woman they don't think is good looking, even if she does make six figures.) In some ways, I think men do have it harder. For women in many cases all you have to do is look good and have a reasonably decent personality to get a man interested.

    You're correct for the most part. Most men will think it's nice that you are successful, but it really won't sway them either way. Being smart and successful should be more of a personal accomplishment to yourself. Congrats to you!

    However, I view things a bit differently than most men. Admittedly, I can be VERY shallow when it comes to material possessions. In short, I insist on living a nice lifestyle. I want to upgrade to an even larger house than I have now (a nice infinity style pool would be a huge plus) and I have a liking for luxury automobiles.

    So if I happen to meet someone who's wildly successful, then that's a huge plus when it comes to winning me over.

    So how YOU doin' ?? :wink: