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I confess- Single Peeps version

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  • garnetsms
    garnetsms Posts: 10,018 Member
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    I confess...Although I have been active on MFP, I have not been active in this group because I give my relationship with Billy another try. After more than 2 yrs (on and off) of trying, I can honestly say I have faced the reality that it was not meant to be, no matter how much I wanted it to be...for so many reasons.

    Note to self: Do not take him back no matter how much it hurts right now. In the long run, you will be glad you made this decison.
  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
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    Just this week alone, I had 2 guys that I've been messaging online tell me that they lost their license...total deal breaker for me. One of them said I was crazy if that was the only reason I didn't want to get to know him better. I disagree (for several reasons actually), but I'd be curious to hear what some of you think first.
  • MissingMinnesota
    MissingMinnesota Posts: 7,486 Member
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    Just this week alone, I had 2 guys that I've been messaging online tell me that they lost their license...total deal breaker for me. One of them said I was crazy if that was the only reason I didn't want to get to know him better. I disagree (for several reasons actually), but I'd be curious to hear what some of you think first.

    Well I used to think your way but it now depends. I have a really good friend that just married a guy that when they started dating he didn't have a license due to dui but that was a wake up call for him that he was on the edge of being an alcoholic and he stopped drinking at that time. He was in law school when they started dating and he has since gone gotten his law degree, passed the bar and is now working on a masters in library science as he wants to be a law libriarian. He is also one of the most loving and caring guys I know and they are perfect together. So if she had just passed him up because of that they wouldn't be where they are together today. So unless a guy lost his licenses for dui and is still out drinking and nothing has changed then yes it would be a deal breaker but not if it was a smack upside his head that he was going in the wrong direction.
  • jenbit
    jenbit Posts: 4,289 Member
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    Just this week alone, I had 2 guys that I've been messaging online tell me that they lost their license...total deal breaker for me. One of them said I was crazy if that was the only reason I didn't want to get to know him better. I disagree (for several reasons actually), but I'd be curious to hear what some of you think first.

    Find out why....They will take your lisence if your diabetic or have a seizure disorder and have an episode and you have to get a bunch of medical paperwork done to get back
  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
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    @Ruth & Jen, Both good points about not jumping to conclusions.

    The guy that called me crazy had a long story about being out of state and getting pulled over 2X by the same cop for speeding on a rural highway or something...said the guy had it out for him. Sounded paranoid to me. :huh: I didn't even bother asking the other guy, as I was barely interested anyway.
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
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    Just this week alone, I had 2 guys that I've been messaging online tell me that they lost their license...total deal breaker for me. One of them said I was crazy if that was the only reason I didn't want to get to know him better. I disagree (for several reasons actually), but I'd be curious to hear what some of you think first.

    I think you're crazy too honey! Not exactly a murder wrap. I'm not sure why you would consider it a deal breaker, but I dont think you can judge someone for making a mistake. (She says looking down at her speeding fine......lol)

    :wink:
  • jkandktmom
    jkandktmom Posts: 1,010 Member
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    Just this week alone, I had 2 guys that I've been messaging online tell me that they lost their license...total deal breaker for me. One of them said I was crazy if that was the only reason I didn't want to get to know him better. I disagree (for several reasons actually), but I'd be curious to hear what some of you think first.

    I don't think it is crazy at all. I would have done the same thing, especially if I wasn't even really that into them. I started dating my ex husband when he had lost his license for his 3rd DUI. He convienced me and others that he had learned his lesson but he hadn't. I guess maybe if someone told me this and I was kind of interested I would ask why but I'm pretty sure I would walk away liek you.
  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
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    Just this week alone, I had 2 guys that I've been messaging online tell me that they lost their license...total deal breaker for me. One of them said I was crazy if that was the only reason I didn't want to get to know him better. I disagree (for several reasons actually), but I'd be curious to hear what some of you think first.

    I think you're crazy too honey! Not exactly a murder wrap. I'm not sure why you would consider it a deal breaker, but I dont think you can judge someone for making a mistake. (She says looking down at her speeding fine......lol)

    :wink:

    :laugh: I'm no angel, I've had a few speeding tickets before too... and nope, not a murderer I know!

    Usually for a license to get taken away you have to be drinking and driving or getting multiple speeding tickets in a short amount of time, so something seems off there. Also though, I'm looking to simplify my life these days and the idea of having to drive a date or possible bf around does not appeal to me - it's similar to a guy who lives with his parents at this age. I guess it would have to be extreme circumstances like Ruth or Jen mentioned.
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
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    Just this week alone, I had 2 guys that I've been messaging online tell me that they lost their license...total deal breaker for me. One of them said I was crazy if that was the only reason I didn't want to get to know him better. I disagree (for several reasons actually), but I'd be curious to hear what some of you think first.

    Find out why....They will take your lisence if your diabetic or have a seizure disorder and have an episode and you have to get a bunch of medical paperwork done to get back

    True but don't you think if that was true they'd just come out and say it?

    No license (unless it was for a medical reason beyond the man's control) would be a deal breaker too. Sorry I don't wanna be a chauffeur!
  • garnetsms
    garnetsms Posts: 10,018 Member
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    Oh NO NO NO! This would be a deal breaker for me as well. Losing a license, other than for medical reasons shows sheer irresponsibility, IMHO. Yes, there are some situations where they do learn their lesson from their mistakes (men an women alike), but in my experiance, not very often. My first husband got not 1, not 2, not 3, but 4 DUI's. The first one was prior to us getting married and he said he learned his lesson...NOT

    I have two sons, one of which will be driving next year. I would need someone who is going ot be a good example to him and show him how to be responsible in ALL areas of his life.
  • bregalad5
    bregalad5 Posts: 3,965 Member
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    Just this week alone, I had 2 guys that I've been messaging online tell me that they lost their license...total deal breaker for me. One of them said I was crazy if that was the only reason I didn't want to get to know him better. I disagree (for several reasons actually), but I'd be curious to hear what some of you think first.

    I think you're crazy too honey! Not exactly a murder wrap. I'm not sure why you would consider it a deal breaker, but I dont think you can judge someone for making a mistake. (She says looking down at her speeding fine......lol)

    :wink:

    :laugh: I'm no angel, I've had a few speeding tickets before too... and nope, not a murderer I know!

    Usually for a license to get taken away you have to be drinking and driving or getting multiple speeding tickets in a short amount of time, so something seems off there. Also though, I'm looking to simplify my life these days and the idea of having to drive a date or possible bf around does not appeal to me - it's similar to a guy who lives with his parents at this age. I guess it would have to be extreme circumstances like Ruth or Jen mentioned.

    Here's an example of someone you'd pass up: My ex-bf didn't have a license. He has a vision problem where he has a bit of a lazy eye and no peripheral vision. He actually got his permit at 16, but then almost hit someone because he couldn't see them due to his vision issues, and never got behind the wheel again. Sure, it was a bit annoying driving him around everywhere, but it's not like he could help it. He's a really great guy, smart as f**k, graduated top of his class from law school, passed the NY Bar (hardest bar in the country), and is working on his PhD, but doesn't have a license...
    (In case you're wondering why I'm saying such good things about an ex, we broke up because his parents hate me and it wasn't going where either of us wanted. We're still best friends, though.)
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
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    Just this week alone, I had 2 guys that I've been messaging online tell me that they lost their license...total deal breaker for me. One of them said I was crazy if that was the only reason I didn't want to get to know him better. I disagree (for several reasons actually), but I'd be curious to hear what some of you think first.

    I think you're crazy too honey! Not exactly a murder wrap. I'm not sure why you would consider it a deal breaker, but I dont think you can judge someone for making a mistake. (She says looking down at her speeding fine......lol)

    :wink:

    :laugh: I'm no angel, I've had a few speeding tickets before too... and nope, not a murderer I know!

    Usually for a license to get taken away you have to be drinking and driving or getting multiple speeding tickets in a short amount of time, so something seems off there. Also though, I'm looking to simplify my life these days and the idea of having to drive a date or possible bf around does not appeal to me - it's similar to a guy who lives with his parents at this age. I guess it would have to be extreme circumstances like Ruth or Jen mentioned.

    Well, I guess it's different in London. We dont need a car to get around. And a driving ban only lasts a year? So it's not likes its going to be forever.

    I dont discount guys that live with their parents either. I've dated 2 of those......lol...
  • bregalad5
    bregalad5 Posts: 3,965 Member
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    Well, I guess it's different in London.

    In the US, not having a car is really frowned upon. See: the reaction I got on this very thread when I mentioned I haven't had a car in three years...
  • 2stepz
    2stepz Posts: 814 Member
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    Anna - you have to consider that most of the US (geographically) does not have public transportation of any sort. To be without a license means you are totally dependent on somebody who DOES have one to get you places. Even in areas where public trans is available, we don't have the same kind of 'walkable neighborhoods' that you do. We don't have neighborhood markets within walking distance. During my formative years I lived more than 15 miles from the nearest grocer, and it was tiny and high priced.

    ETA: the length of time the license is 'taken' depends on the offense; that can range from 30 days to life.
  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
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    Interesting that no guys chimed in on the license issue... Anyway, yeah I could see myself being ok if someone had a medical reason, otherwise, it just seems like a hassle and I don't want to be anyones babysitter.
  • garnetsms
    garnetsms Posts: 10,018 Member
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    Bre: One would have to wonder if that is because you are in a large city where other modes of transport are availalbe or do you walk a lot?
  • bregalad5
    bregalad5 Posts: 3,965 Member
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    Bre: One would have to wonder if that is because you are in a large city where other modes of transport are availalbe or do you walk a lot?

    Not a large city, but a University town with a decent enough bus system that I don't need a car. I do walk a lot, too.

    But, now I'm no longer there and will be in Moscow in 23 days, so won't need a car there, either.
  • garnetsms
    garnetsms Posts: 10,018 Member
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    There is a time and a place to be without a vehicle. Perhaps it's even more acceptable for a female than for the mailes.

    Here's another example. I knew someone who had a car wreck which involved a fatality. She didn't drive for years afterwards. It took her a very long time to get over that even though it was an accident.

    I think the main idea here is when the lack of, is because of making bad choices...over and over again.

    Yes, I would like to hear from the guys too.
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
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    Not having your license versus it getting taken away are two different things.
  • bregalad5
    bregalad5 Posts: 3,965 Member
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    Not having your license versus it getting taken away are two different things.

    I agree, but the way I read (and admittedly I may have misread) a couple of the posts it seemed like someone who doesn't drive at all is a deal-breaker.

    For the record, I'm from the middle of f**king nowhere (an hour to any town bigger than 20,000 people, and the entire county I'm from only has about 42,000 residents), so I totally understand the "need" to have a car. I'm just arguing the other side cuz I feel like it, and have been experiencing that side for the past few years.

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