What should I have done ..

Jennifer2387

Ok .. so at lunch I went to Jreck subs and was in line and there was a cute guy in front of me. I was kinda just checking him out a bit, his back was to me .. he turns and looks at me and does kind of a double take .. not like a hugely noticeable double take, but he looked again real quick and kinda smiled at me. I, of course, panic and look away. We are shuffling along and keeps looking at me and I keep pretending I don't notice. So then he says .. nice day huh? I can feel myself getting red and agree with him and then look at my feet. Gah. He gets his food goes over to get his drink and is like looking at me over the counter thing and smiling. I grab my food and practically hurdle the rope to get out of there.

WTF is wrong with me?? It was obvious that he was trying to make conversation with me. He was very cute and kinda rugged. Ugh. It has been a long time since I have been single and do not know how to do this!!!

SherryR1971

As much as I would like to say I would have handled that soooo much differently, I probably wouldn't have LOL

Danielle_2013

You start practicing. Smile, make conversation at every opportunity and have a little flirty fun...with everyone..not just the cute ones. This will help you get used to it again. Enjoy it. You have nothing to feel panicked or embarassed about. Attention is a great thing. Assume everyone is admiring you and/or interested in talking to you if that gives you confidence.
It really is just a mental game you play with yourself.. at least to start.

Oh.. I wish you could attend my master class on small talk and flirting! LOL :flowerforyou:

dbrightwell1270

I think you have 1 or 2 drinks in you at all times when in public. I hear alcohol helps one relax and lowers inhibitions.

AnnaPixie

Oh.. I wish you could attend my master class on small talk and flirting! LOL :flowerforyou:

Me too!! I wanna join :bigsmile:

Jen, I didnt exactly the same thing when a guy approached me recently. I have no words of wisdom :ohwell:

pa_jorg

You start practicing. Smile, make conversation at every opportunity and have a little flirty fun...with everyone..not just the cute ones. This will help you get used to it again.

^^^This! Start slow, but flirt or just talk to anyone and everyone you come across.

zachatta

So the guy, approached you, made eye contact, made conversation, and you couldn't respond?

Just talk next time. You didn't have to do any work whatsoever!

Considering the freebies he was giving you, you probably could have said anything, even retarded things

and he would have kept it going...

kristen6022

I think you have 1 or 2 drinks in you at all times when in public. I hear alcohol helps one relax and lowers inhibitions.

This is awesome advice. And I would have done the same exact thing...LOL

4themoney

just start talking to random people in public on a regular basis :-)
it gets easier.

Jennifer2387

So the guy, approached you, made eye contact, made conversation, and you couldn't respond?

Just talk next time. You didn't have to do any work whatsoever!

Considering the freebies he was giving you, you probably could have said anything, even retarded things

and he would have kept it going...

UGH! You just made me smack my forehead. You make it sound so simple .. like .. duh, he made eye contact, started the conversation .. just say something. He said nice day huh .. and all i could think was .. oh you have such a pretty face.

Mellie289

You start practicing. Smile, make conversation at every opportunity and have a little flirty fun...with everyone..not just the cute ones. This will help you get used to it again. Enjoy it. You have nothing to feel panicked or embarassed about. Attention is a great thing. Assume everyone is admiring you and/or interested in talking to you if that gives you confidence.
It really is just a mental game you play with yourself.. at least to start.

Oh.. I wish you could attend my master class on small talk and flirting! LOL :flowerforyou:

This is spot on, and I would add... don't automatically assume that a guy starting conversation with you like that is interested. He might have thought you looked familiar, or been practicing making conversation with strangers himself because he gets nervous talking to women. Assume he's just making small talk so you won't get as nervous. If he asks for your number, then you can get nervous, but you'll be already chatting by that point.

Jennifer2387

I think you have 1 or 2 drinks in you at all times when in public. I hear alcohol helps one relax and lowers inhibitions.

This is awesome advice. And I would have done the same exact thing...LOL

After two I would have fallen and gotten tangled up in the rope instead of hurdling it!!!!

meshashesha2012

WTF is wrong with me??

oh dear, you suffer from an acute form of nogameitis. luckily it's completely curable with time, patience and practice.

here are just a few ideas on how you could have handled the situation
- while in line, say that you want to try something different. does he have any suggestions?
- if you also got a drink and ended up at the drink station you could have asked him "are you following me?'
- you could have said something like "i'm sorry that i keep staring but you look so much like an old friend of mine, what school did you go to?"

zachatta

So the guy, approached you, made eye contact, made conversation, and you couldn't respond?

Just talk next time. You didn't have to do any work whatsoever!

Considering the freebies he was giving you, you probably could have said anything, even retarded things

and he would have kept it going...

UGH! You just made me smack my forehead. You make it sound so simple .. like .. duh, he made eye contact, started the conversation .. just say something. He said nice day huh .. and all i could think was .. oh you have such a pretty face.

haha I feel ya, its cool. Just try and relax. The good news is, if a guy approaches you, he more than likely will be very lenient with anything you say. What I mean by that is, he has already decided he thinks you are attractive and wants to get to know you. (or he could just be being nice and talking, that is possible) There is nothing you can say (unless it is completely psych ward crazy) that will put him off, you already won.

So just next time, relax and talk, he probably, if he already initiated convo, will ask for a number or something.

Relax, and just talk. Don't stress about the content of what you are saying, because honestly he probably isn't really paying attention.

Jennifer2387

WTF is wrong with me??

oh dear, you suffer from an acute form of nogameitis. luckily it's completely curable with time, patience and practice.

here are just a few ideas on how you could have handled the situation
- while in line, say that you want to try something different. does he have any suggestions?
- if you also got a drink and ended up at the drink station you could have asked him "are you following me?'
- you could have said something like "i'm sorry that i keep staring but you look so much like an old friend of mine, what school did you go to?"

What did you just call me?? lol

Stupid thing is .. I got a drink but forgot to get it because I am a giant dork.

Ok .. so I need to practice. Maybe he will be there tomorrow. I will start stalking Jreck subs now. lol. I kid. Kinda.. ha!

Is that what you all do? Just randomly talk to people .. or are you just telling me to do this so I look like a giant dorkapotomus??

disneywm76

You start practicing. Smile, make conversation at every opportunity and have a little flirty fun...with everyone..not just the cute ones. This will help you get used to it again.

^^^This! Start slow, but flirt or just talk to anyone and everyone you come across.

I agree with the above. I've recently started just talking to more people when I'm out and about and because there is no pressue it gets easier every time. I used to be so shy that I wouldn't even make eye contact with people!! But, I've been trying to make the effort to open up and be more social with random people. It's definitely a confidence booster when people will start conversations with me these days and I'm not so nervous/shy as I was before. It'll get better. :flowerforyou:

Tropical_Turtle

this has been interesting reading today. Because I had a similar situation and I blushed and looked away. *sigh*

TheKitsune6

So the guy, approached you, made eye contact, made conversation, and you couldn't respond?

Just talk next time. You didn't have to do any work whatsoever!

Considering the freebies he was giving you, you probably could have said anything, even retarded things

and he would have kept it going...

UGH! You just made me smack my forehead. You make it sound so simple .. like .. duh, he made eye contact, started the conversation .. just say something. He said nice day huh .. and all i could think was .. oh you have such a pretty face.

haha I feel ya, its cool. Just try and relax. The good news is, if a guy approaches you, he more than likely will be very lenient with anything you say. What I mean by that is, he has already decided he thinks you are attractive and wants to get to know you. (or he could just be being nice and talking, that is possible) There is nothing you can say (unless it is completely psych ward crazy) that will put him off, you already won.

So just next time, relax and talk, he probably, if he already initiated convo, will ask for a number or something.

Relax, and just talk. Don't stress about the content of what you are saying, because honestly he probably isn't really paying attention.

Since all the good advice has been taken, all that's left is for me to be silly.

Next time, show yer bewbs!

disneywm76

[/quote]

Since all the good advice has been taken, all that's left is for me to be silly.

Next time, show yer bewbs!
[/quote]

I got a good laugh from this one, Kits. Thanks! :laugh:

Moe4572

a guy friend gave me the advice to just start making eye contact, and chatting people up...didn't have to be someone I was interested in....just people to get used to talking. So that day I was at the grocery store and tried it....was chatty with a guy I had NO interest in, and was just a basic conversation, but was way easier than I thought.

Though I would probably have reacted the same way you did in your situation

catherine4211

Was it because he was cute? Can you normally talk to strangers?

farmers_daughter

Cure all.....pick a place.... that you would feel incredibly uncomfortable...say its a bar all by yourself. don't take anyone along.

Go. Sit there. have a drink, etc. When all of those "OMG I'M GONNA DIE" feelings start to go away.... leave, come back do it again talk to strangers, approach them, feel them out for different vibes, go and again, get comfortable

Then pick a new place, and go through it all over again and again..... Break yourself of your insecurities in unfamiliar places/people etc.

Everybody's different but it kinda worked for me.

4themoney

i talk to everyone that talks to me, but i do it like i do a first date or job interview. just two people that don't know each other, mean anything to each other, or owe each other a thing.

would you have weirded out had it been a girl? or an ugly guy? or a kid? or a grandma? just treat them like a normal human being and talk. respond. be nice and smile. and remind yourself that it doesn't mean anything :-)

pa_jorg

You start practicing. Smile, make conversation at every opportunity and have a little flirty fun...with everyone..not just the cute ones. This will help you get used to it again. Enjoy it. You have nothing to feel panicked or embarassed about. Attention is a great thing. Assume everyone is admiring you and/or interested in talking to you if that gives you confidence.
It really is just a mental game you play with yourself.. at least to start.

Oh.. I wish you could attend my master class on small talk and flirting! LOL :flowerforyou:

This is spot on, and I would add... don't automatically assume that a guy starting conversation with you like that is interested. He might have thought you looked familiar, or been practicing making conversation with strangers himself because he gets nervous talking to women. Assume he's just making small talk so you won't get as nervous. If he asks for your number, then you can get nervous, but you'll be already chatting by that point.

Yes, I agree with this! If it had been a woman or elderly man for example in line that asked how your day was, you would have answered and moved on. But because he was a guy withing your dating age bracket, you panicked. Just get used to being more social in general and it will help.

Jennifer2387

Was it because he was cute? Can you normally talk to strangers?

Good question .. I have always been in a relationship .. since I was freaking 14. I think it was because he was cute and he seemed to notice me and smiled at me and I got all 14 years old again. I haven't been single with the thought of finding a boyfriend in decades. Even when I dated the young guy .. I met him on MFP and we started out just kind chatting on PM's .

Strangers I can talk to .. boys that I want to lick.. obviously not so much.

christine24t

I would've been the exact same. I can chat all day with anyone, but if its an attractive man I freeze up. Doesn't matter if he is taken or not.

No advice therefore...

lacroyx

I think you have 1 or 2 drinks in you at all times when in public. I hear alcohol helps one relax and lowers inhibitions.

This is awesome advice. And I would have done the same exact thing...LOL

Me too. I am less shy and more outgoing when I've had a little alcohol.

Jennifer2387

I think you have 1 or 2 drinks in you at all times when in public. I hear alcohol helps one relax and lowers inhibitions.

This is awesome advice. And I would have done the same exact thing...LOL

Me too. I am less shy and more outgoing when I've had a little alcohol.

I can't drink on my lunch hour!!! Not to mention my .. oh have one drink I love the whole world, second drink I fall over.

meshashesha2012

a guy friend gave me the advice to just start making eye contact, and chatting people up...didn't have to be someone I was interested in....just people to get used to talking. So that day I was at the grocery store and tried it....was chatty with a guy I had NO interest in, and was just a basic conversation, but was way easier than I thought.

Though I would probably have reacted the same way you did in your situation

this is how i practiced.
just start talking to random strangers. eventually you get used to it so it's less a big of a deal starting a conversation with a hot guy as it is someone you aren't interested in.

people -especially guys- are more willing to talk than you might think at first appearance. also the good thing about being a girl is that we really dont necessarily need an interesting opener to get them to talk. sometimes "Hi, how's it going?"is all it takes

kerrymh

been there done that..if I'm actually really physically into a man I just turn into a blushing shy twit

Jennifer2387

Next time, show yer bewbs!

That I can do ! lol