What should I have done ..
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Oh my how this discussion took some crazy turns. I think some of us have this issue because we were in long term relationships that somehow reduced our self esteem. So to be "newly" (relatively as all of us have different histories) single, it's a challenge to open up and have a discussion with a random person even though that is what we truly desire. Does that make any sense at all?0
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Carl, you need to stop being so damn nice to women. Women are like sharks.. they detect a nice guy and see how much they can get away with. If they think you'll be a doormat, they will treat you as such. There's certainly a time and place for being nice, but (sadly) women respect jerks more than the "nice guy" initially.
At least this has been my 30 years of experience dealing with the opposite sex.
Do you miss me or something? I mean, I know you mentioned I've been going easy on you, is this your way of baiting me? I haven't had a guy crush on me in this manner since grade school.0 -
dont blush and look down at your feet til they start flirting dirty!0
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I really did mean the sentimate of the statement.
I have a guy saying I am too nice and a lady saying I am kind of bitter( my take on it).
Both can not be true.
@Carl, I don't see the bitter thing, but interpretations can be different. However, I do think that you are trying to make the brain of a woman as logical as that of a man and it just doesn't work that way. Accept the fact that despite how you'd like us to think the way you do, we never will (and vice versa) and move on. Otherwise trying to decode us will eat away at you... :laugh:
Oh an please, please, please do not listen to the advice that women don't like nice guys. That's not even close to true. :happy:
I just thought of a non-gender specific example that might help here. If I asked you what you'd do if you won the lottery, you could probably list off a few things. But, say one night you're sitting at home with your Powerball ticket and you see on the news that you got all the numbers and won millions of dollars. Do you think your initial reaction would be the same as the fantasy? Probably not. Most likely you'd be in complete shock, dead silent, possibly checking and re-checking the numbers before your brain could really process that you won. I think that might be a good way to understand the difference that women feel about fantasy vs. reality in meeting unexpectedly.0 -
I feel this must be true. If I find a woman that I deem worthy of my attention, she just hit the jackpot.I just thought of a non-gender specific example that might help here. If I asked you what you'd do if you won the lottery, you could probably list off a few things. But, say one night you're sitting at home with your Powerball ticket and you see on the news that you got all the numbers and won millions of dollars. Do you think your initial reaction would be the same as the fantasy? Probably not. Most likely you'd be in complete shock, dead silent, possibly checking and re-checking the numbers before your brain could really process that you won. I think that might be a good way to understand the difference that women feel about fantasy vs. reality in meeting unexpectedly.
I'll still take scoring 18 holes in dating over scoring 18 holes in golf though.I'll take 18 holes of golf over dating any day.
If you're successful and not too bothered about it, dating is fun.
When I'm walking in the street, on a mission, I'm probably more upset at the thought of interacting with people than pleased... Strangely, I've never felt the need to hit on a girl in this case either, since it seems so out of context to me.How many women do you start randomly talking to, with a flirtatious tone, in your average lunch/coffee line, unless you already see them in "a different light" or think they have nice eyes/breasts/hair/etc ? Hmmmmm?0 -
I really did mean the sentimate of the statement.
I have a guy saying I am too nice and a lady saying I am kind of bitter( my take on it).
Both can not be true.
@Carl, I don't see the bitter thing, but interpretations can be different. However, I do think that you are trying to make the brain of a woman as logical as that of a man and it just doesn't work that way. Accept the fact that despite how you'd like us to think the way you do, we never will (and vice versa) and move on. Otherwise trying to decode us will eat away at you... :laugh:
Oh an please, please, please do not listen to the advice that women don't like nice guys. That's not even close to true. :happy:
I just thought of a non-gender specific example that might help here. If I asked you what you'd do if you won the lottery, you could probably list off a few things. But, say one night you're sitting at home with your Powerball ticket and you see on the news that you got all the numbers and won millions of dollars. Do you think your initial reaction would be the same as the fantasy? Probably not. Most likely you'd be in complete shock, dead silent, possibly checking and re-checking the numbers before your brain could really process that you won. I think that might be a good way to understand the difference that women feel about fantasy vs. reality in meeting unexpectedly.
Good example. Carl, I didn't mean bitter, just rather inclined, at times, to view women and their motives through the opposite of rose-tinted glasses. We're mostly quite nice - honest - and we mostly don't judge men to be 'weak' as easily as you think we do. It's all shades of grey (way more than 50!
) for (most of) us, most of the time, rather than black and white. :flowerforyou:
I'm off for the weekend - have fun, all!0 -
I feel this must be true. If I find a woman that I deem worthy of my attention, she just hit the jackpot.I just thought of a non-gender specific example that might help here. If I asked you what you'd do if you won the lottery, you could probably list off a few things. But, say one night you're sitting at home with your Powerball ticket and you see on the news that you got all the numbers and won millions of dollars. Do you think your initial reaction would be the same as the fantasy? Probably not. Most likely you'd be in complete shock, dead silent, possibly checking and re-checking the numbers before your brain could really process that you won. I think that might be a good way to understand the difference that women feel about fantasy vs. reality in meeting unexpectedly.
We should all be so lucky 0 -
This also makes me shake my head and think what the??Carl, you need to stop being so damn nice to women. Women are like sharks.. they detect a nice guy and see how much they can get away with. If they think you'll be a doormat, they will treat you as such. There's certainly a time and place for being nice, but (sadly) women respect jerks more than the "nice guy" initially.
At least this has been my 30 years of experience dealing with the opposite sex.
Oh well,another day of golf awaits. :drinker:
Im starting to get confused as to what is considered insensitive talk on this forum, being that if I said that about guys - yall would remove me from the group, but they say these things about girls, which are hurtful and demeaning, and yall shake your heads and play golf.0 -
This also makes me shake my head and think what the??Carl, you need to stop being so damn nice to women. Women are like sharks.. they detect a nice guy and see how much they can get away with. If they think you'll be a doormat, they will treat you as such. There's certainly a time and place for being nice, but (sadly) women respect jerks more than the "nice guy" initially.
At least this has been my 30 years of experience dealing with the opposite sex.
Oh well,another day of golf awaits. :drinker:
Im starting to get confusied as to what is considered insensitive talk on this forum, being that if I said that about guys - yall would remove me from the group, but they say these things about girls, which are hurtful and demeaning, and yall shake your heads and play golf.
That is completely false and there have been more then a few unflattering comments directed at guys over the last year.0 -
This also makes me shake my head and think what the??Carl, you need to stop being so damn nice to women. Women are like sharks.. they detect a nice guy and see how much they can get away with. If they think you'll be a doormat, they will treat you as such. There's certainly a time and place for being nice, but (sadly) women respect jerks more than the "nice guy" initially.
At least this has been my 30 years of experience dealing with the opposite sex.
Oh well,another day of golf awaits. :drinker:
Im starting to get confusied as to what is considered insensitive talk on this forum, being that if I said that about guys - yall would remove me from the group, but they say these things about girls, which are hurtful and demeaning, and yall shake your heads and play golf.
That is completely false and there have been more then a few unflattering comments directed at guys over the last year.
alright0 -
Just tell me wtf im supposed to be doing or how im supposed to be behaving so im not the most hated person in this place. cause i cant get it right. I dont know what to do anymore. I dont want to leave but i cant get it right. Im always damn wrong and its really hard to keep trying when you keep getting yelled at.
Just tell me what to do and ill shut up and do it.0 -
Just tell me wtf im supposed to be doing or how im supposed to be behaving so im not the most hated person in this place. cause i cant get it right. I dont know what to do anymore. I dont want to leave but i cant get it right. Im always damn wrong and its really hard to keep trying when you keep getting yelled at.
Just tell me what to do and ill shut up and do it.
A lot of people have your back
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I don't know whom you got the "I hate yoovie" vibe from. Hopefully not I. I don't hate you nor anyone else on here.Just tell me wtf im supposed to be doing or how im supposed to be behaving so im not the most hated person in this place. cause i cant get it right. I dont know what to do anymore. I dont want to leave but i cant get it right. Im always damn wrong and its really hard to keep trying when you keep getting yelled at.
Just tell me what to do and ill shut up and do it.0 -
I don't know whom you got the "I hate yoovie" vibe from. Hopefully not I. I don't hate you nor anyone else on here.Just tell me wtf im supposed to be doing or how im supposed to be behaving so im not the most hated person in this place. cause i cant get it right. I dont know what to do anymore. I dont want to leave but i cant get it right. Im always damn wrong and its really hard to keep trying when you keep getting yelled at.
Just tell me what to do and ill shut up and do it.
Well... MAYBE DM.0 -
Ehh...disagreed with each other, yeah. I strongly doubt DM hates yoovie or anyone. If I really disliked someone on MFP, I'd tell them.
I don't know whom you got the "I hate yoovie" vibe from. Hopefully not I. I don't hate you nor anyone else on here.Just tell me wtf im supposed to be doing or how im supposed to be behaving so im not the most hated person in this place. cause i cant get it right. I dont know what to do anymore. I dont want to leave but i cant get it right. Im always damn wrong and its really hard to keep trying when you keep getting yelled at.
Just tell me what to do and ill shut up and do it.
Well... MAYBE DM.0 -
Just tell me wtf im supposed to be doing or how im supposed to be behaving so im not the most hated person in this place. cause i cant get it right. I dont know what to do anymore. I dont want to leave but i cant get it right. Im always damn wrong and its really hard to keep trying when you keep getting yelled at.
Just tell me what to do and ill shut up and do it.
I have absolutely no clue at all what you are talking about and that is not a mean statement but simple fact.
If people here are harassing you privately you have not told me about it so I can deal with it,that will never be allowed.0 -
I dont tattle. It fixes nothing. It just pulls private hurtfulness into public hurtfulness and I dont want both.
I just cant figure out how Im supposed to think to fit in here. What i can say and what i cant say since all the appropriate levels are subjective and based on opinions and daily moods. Since Im the one with the worst attitude here, tell me what Im doing wrong.0 -
Just tell me wtf im supposed to be doing or how im supposed to be behaving so im not the most hated person in this place. cause i cant get it right. I dont know what to do anymore. I dont want to leave but i cant get it right. Im always damn wrong and its really hard to keep trying when you keep getting yelled at.
Just tell me what to do and ill shut up and do it.
I have absolutely no clue at all what you are talking about and that is not a mean statement but simple fact.
If people here are harassing you privately you have not told me about it so I can deal with it,that will never be allowed.
I never have ever accused you of being mean. Im like 99.99999999% sure of that.0 -
I have not seen it publicly so if missed it am sorry.I dont tattle. It fixes nothing. It just pulls private hurtfulness into public hurtfulness and I dont want both.
I just cant figure out how Im supposed to think to fit in here. What i can say and what i cant say since all the appropriate levels are subjective and based on opinions and daily moods. Since Im the one with the worst attitude here, tell me what Im doing wrong.
Disagreements will happen and if you feel attacked then say so.
If in private I can't do anything if I don't know and will be honest am a bit taken aback by vague accusations that I can't address so if you are going to say it in public then I expect to be made aware of the situation specifically.
Otherwise it becomes a cloud hanging over everyone's head.0 -
Checking in to see if peeps wife is ready for angry make up sex yet:happy:
This made me LOL!!! :laugh:
Yoovie - no idea who is harrassing you, but what you're doing wrong is listening to whoever is!!
Mike - as per usual I choose to ignore these crass, irrational statements you come out with! I think you just like to provoke an argument which has got so boring to read I just drop off..... :yawn:0 -
I have not seen it publicly so if missed it am sorry.I dont tattle. It fixes nothing. It just pulls private hurtfulness into public hurtfulness and I dont want both.
I just cant figure out how Im supposed to think to fit in here. What i can say and what i cant say since all the appropriate levels are subjective and based on opinions and daily moods. Since Im the one with the worst attitude here, tell me what Im doing wrong.
Disagreements will happen and if you feel attacked then say so.
If in private I can't do anything if I don't know and will be honest am a bit taken aback by vague accusations that I can't address so if you are going to say it in public then I expect to be made aware of the situation specifically.
Otherwise it becomes a cloud hanging over everyone's head.
You told me that before and I never said it again, including today. EVER. So please explain why Im still being told not to talk about it.0 -
I am lost,have no idea what you are talking about so please pm me about this.
I have not seen it publicly so if missed it am sorry.I dont tattle. It fixes nothing. It just pulls private hurtfulness into public hurtfulness and I dont want both.
I just cant figure out how Im supposed to think to fit in here. What i can say and what i cant say since all the appropriate levels are subjective and based on opinions and daily moods. Since Im the one with the worst attitude here, tell me what Im doing wrong.
Disagreements will happen and if you feel attacked then say so.
If in private I can't do anything if I don't know and will be honest am a bit taken aback by vague accusations that I can't address so if you are going to say it in public then I expect to be made aware of the situation specifically.
Otherwise it becomes a cloud hanging over everyone's head.
You told me that before and I never said it again, including today. EVER. So please explain why Im still being told not to talk about it.
I have never had such a conversation with you Yoovie.
You and I need to get on the same page here as I am completely mystified now.0 -
Mike - as per usual I choose to ignore these crass, irrational statements you come out with! I think you just like to provoke an argument which has got so boring to read I just drop off..... :yawn:
I was just commenting on my personal dating experience. Nothing more, nothing less.
Not trying to provoke an argument, it has just been my experience with dating. I even specifically said that it was my experience. I didn't say all women are sharks 24/7 that pray upon all nice guys out there. It wasn't a blanket statement on all females and I didn't mean it like that at all. That is why I specifically said it was my personal dating experience.
I'm very sorry you took offense and viewed it as being crass. That wasn't my intention at all. :flowerforyou:0 -
I'm very sorry you took offense and viewed it as being crass. That wasn't my intention at all. :flowerforyou:
As much as I want to throw confetti and scream that hell has frozen over because you're actually being apologetic, it kind of bothers me that you're denying that you said... exactly what you said. You DID specifically say that all women are sharks, and you did specifically tell Carl that he shouldn't be nice because women treat nice guys like doormats.Carl, you need to stop being so damn nice to women. Women are like sharks.. they detect a nice guy and see how much they can get away with. If they think you'll be a doormat, they will treat you as such. There's certainly a time and place for being nice, but (sadly) women respect jerks more than the "nice guy" initially.
Yes, you added a little caveat at the end that said this is based on your experiences - but you were still projecting those experiences as an explanation for why what you said is "true" and not as a means of saying that they're probably NOT true.
So if you're gonna apologize... at least own up to what you should be apologizing for.
Jerks are tastier anyway :laugh: 0 -
on the other hand it's quite possible that mike has in fact dated all women in multiple continents and able to time travel in different ages
my take on the matter is the guys who boohoo about all women being b***** are just as unattractive as the women who whine about all men being dirtbags and dogs.. maybe the problem is these 2 groups need to stop dating each other?
and carl i dont think you're mean, i think you're just trying to make logical sense out of certain things that make no logical sense. your basically asking why cant emotions be logical, which is kind of like asking why can't fire be more like water, right?0 -
on the other hand it's quite possible that mike has in fact dated all women in multiple continents and able to time travel in different ages
my take on the matter is the guys who boohoo about all women being b***** are just as unattractive as the women who whine about all men being dirtbags and dogs.. maybe the problem is these 2 groups need to stop dating each other?
and carl i dont think you're mean, i think you're just trying to make logical sense out of certain things that make no logical sense. your basically asking why cant emotions be logical, which is kind of like asking why can't fire be more like water, right?
I'm no boo-hoo'ing it at all. I have no problem with it.. as I'm kind of a jerk to begin with
I'm just trying to help Carl out a bit. Sheesh!0 -
I refuse to accept that bring nice or decent is a bad thing no matter if postulated by a guy or a gal.on the other hand it's quite possible that mike has in fact dated all women in multiple continents and able to time travel in different ages
my take on the matter is the guys who boohoo about all women being b***** are just as unattractive as the women who whine about all men being dirtbags and dogs.. maybe the problem is these 2 groups need to stop dating each other?
and carl i dont think you're mean, i think you're just trying to make logical sense out of certain things that make no logical sense. your basically asking why cant emotions be logical, which is kind of like asking why can't fire be more like water, right?
I'm no boo-hoo'ing it at all. I have no problem with it.. as I'm kind of a jerk to begin with
I'm just trying to help Carl out a bit. Sheesh!
If it is the so be it,I lose am not going to be anything different.0 -
I refuse to accept that bring nice or decent is a bad thing no matter if postulated by a guy or a gal.
If it is the so be it,I lose am not going to be anything different.
Be the best you and you'll find the best gal for you
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Carl, you need to stop being so damn nice to women. Women are like sharks.. they detect a nice guy and see how much they can get away with. If they think you'll be a doormat, they will treat you as such. There's certainly a time and place for being nice, but (sadly) women respect jerks more than the "nice guy" initially.
At least this has been my 30 years of experience dealing with the opposite sex.
I can be a little sharky. It isn't that I want to take advantage of or hurt anyone.. but I do think I subconsciously test men for "strength". I have a very strong personality..and to be honest, I know I can tend to control or dictate how things go..whether that be where we go out for dinner, or what happens in the bedroom. And yet, I don't want this. AT ALL. I want a strong partner who won't give in..always let me get my way..is too agreeable. That just won't work for me. So "nice" guys who initially seem to lack strength, confidence, stubborness etc. tend to work out for me as friends..but nothing more. I feel awful saying I don't respect them..because I do.. but there is a different kind of respect or interest I show a more.. dominant man with a stronger personality. (Who could still be nice, technically!)0
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