What should I have done ..
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Cure all.....pick a place.... that you would feel incredibly uncomfortable...say its a bar all by yourself. don't take anyone along.
Go. Sit there. have a drink, etc. When all of those "OMG I'M GONNA DIE" feelings start to go away.... leave, come back do it again talk to strangers, approach them, feel them out for different vibes, go and again, get comfortable
Then pick a new place, and go through it all over again and again..... Break yourself of your insecurities in unfamiliar places/people etc.
Everybody's different but it kinda worked for me.0 -
i talk to everyone that talks to me, but i do it like i do a first date or job interview. just two people that don't know each other, mean anything to each other, or owe each other a thing.
would you have weirded out had it been a girl? or an ugly guy? or a kid? or a grandma? just treat them like a normal human being and talk. respond. be nice and smile. and remind yourself that it doesn't mean anything :-)0 -
You start practicing. Smile, make conversation at every opportunity and have a little flirty fun...with everyone..not just the cute ones. This will help you get used to it again. Enjoy it. You have nothing to feel panicked or embarassed about. Attention is a great thing. Assume everyone is admiring you and/or interested in talking to you if that gives you confidence.
It really is just a mental game you play with yourself.. at least to start.
Oh.. I wish you could attend my master class on small talk and flirting! LOL :flowerforyou:
This is spot on, and I would add... don't automatically assume that a guy starting conversation with you like that is interested. He might have thought you looked familiar, or been practicing making conversation with strangers himself because he gets nervous talking to women. Assume he's just making small talk so you won't get as nervous. If he asks for your number, then you can get nervous, but you'll be already chatting by that point.
Yes, I agree with this! If it had been a woman or elderly man for example in line that asked how your day was, you would have answered and moved on. But because he was a guy withing your dating age bracket, you panicked. Just get used to being more social in general and it will help.0 -
Was it because he was cute? Can you normally talk to strangers?
Good question .. I have always been in a relationship .. since I was freaking 14. I think it was because he was cute and he seemed to notice me and smiled at me and I got all 14 years old again. I haven't been single with the thought of finding a boyfriend in decades. Even when I dated the young guy .. I met him on MFP and we started out just kind chatting on PM's .
Strangers I can talk to .. boys that I want to lick.. obviously not so much.0 -
I would've been the exact same. I can chat all day with anyone, but if its an attractive man I freeze up. Doesn't matter if he is taken or not.
No advice therefore...0 -
Me too. I am less shy and more outgoing when I've had a little alcohol.I think you have 1 or 2 drinks in you at all times when in public. I hear alcohol helps one relax and lowers inhibitions.
This is awesome advice. And I would have done the same exact thing...LOL0 -
Me too. I am less shy and more outgoing when I've had a little alcohol.I think you have 1 or 2 drinks in you at all times when in public. I hear alcohol helps one relax and lowers inhibitions.
This is awesome advice. And I would have done the same exact thing...LOL
I can't drink on my lunch hour!!! Not to mention my .. oh have one drink I love the whole world, second drink I fall over.0 -
this is how i practiced.a guy friend gave me the advice to just start making eye contact, and chatting people up...didn't have to be someone I was interested in....just people to get used to talking. So that day I was at the grocery store and tried it....was chatty with a guy I had NO interest in, and was just a basic conversation, but was way easier than I thought.
Though I would probably have reacted the same way you did in your situation
just start talking to random strangers. eventually you get used to it so it's less a big of a deal starting a conversation with a hot guy as it is someone you aren't interested in.
people -especially guys- are more willing to talk than you might think at first appearance. also the good thing about being a girl is that we really dont necessarily need an interesting opener to get them to talk. sometimes "Hi, how's it going?"is all it takes0 -
been there done that..if I'm actually really physically into a man I just turn into a blushing shy twit0
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Next time, show yer bewbs!
That I can do ! lol0 -
Me too. I am less shy and more outgoing when I've had a little alcohol.I think you have 1 or 2 drinks in you at all times when in public. I hear alcohol helps one relax and lowers inhibitions.
This is awesome advice. And I would have done the same exact thing...LOL
I can't drink on my lunch hour!!! Not to mention my .. oh have one drink I love the whole world, second drink I fall over.
Then have half a drink.0 -
I become friendly with everyone and speak Spanglish.
Me too. I am less shy and more outgoing when I've had a little alcohol.I think you have 1 or 2 drinks in you at all times when in public. I hear alcohol helps one relax and lowers inhibitions.
This is awesome advice. And I would have done the same exact thing...LOL
I can't drink on my lunch hour!!! Not to mention my .. oh have one drink I love the whole world, second drink I fall over.0 -
I become friendly with everyone and speak Spanglish.
hahahaha .. I speak spanglish with a little french in there and don't know either language!0 -
I become friendly with everyone and speak Spanglish.
hahahaha .. I speak spanglish with a little french in there and don't know either language!
I'm constantly mixing German and Japanese into my speech too! Haha0 -
Good body language, nice smile, fun and playful voice tone. You're set!0
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Ladies...the vast majority of you have stated that you want/expect/demand a guy initiates contact.
Most have also said that rejection is something they fear and here it is not in play.
Now you all are saying that when a guy does just what you want you can`t deal with it?
Take a deep breath and a moments thought about this and stop this silliness.
That is not meant as snarky,just think about it and do what you should when the situation that you desire presents itself.0 -
is it possible that you are comparing 2 different subsets of women and are dumping us all into the superset of ladies?Ladies...the vast majority of you have stated that you want/expect/demand a guy initiates contact.
Most have also said that rejection is something they fear and here it is not in play.
Now you all are saying that when a guy does just what you want you can`t deal with it?
Take a deep breath and a moments thought about this and stop this silliness.
That is not meant as snarky,just think about it and do what you should when the situation that you desire presents itself.
it's been my experience that the guys who get confused about lady talk like this tend do so because they can't keep track of individuals and just want to lump us all together as women have said xyz...
just to be clear, asking lady A about situation B and lady B about situation A is in no way the same thing as asking lady A about situation A or lady B about situation B0 -
is it possible that you are comparing 2 different subsets of women and are dumping us all into the superset of ladies?Ladies...the vast majority of you have stated that you want/expect/demand a guy initiates contact.
Most have also said that rejection is something they fear and here it is not in play.
Now you all are saying that when a guy does just what you want you can`t deal with it?
Take a deep breath and a moments thought about this and stop this silliness.
That is not meant as snarky,just think about it and do what you should when the situation that you desire presents itself.
it's been my experience that the guys who get confused about lady talk like this tend do so because they can't keep track of individuals and just want to lump us all together as women have said xyz...
just to be clear, asking lady A about situation B and lady B about situation A is in no way the same thing as asking lady A about situation A or lady B about situation B
That is inevitable to an extant and we all do that but regardless,the overall point is still valid and not in any way an attack.
I am just saying that when you are dealt a full house you take advantage of it and especially so if one has determined that is what is close to required to begin with.0 -
I'm subset C!!! What happens to us??? :laugh:0
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is it possible that you are comparing 2 different subsets of women and are dumping us all into the superset of ladies?Ladies...the vast majority of you have stated that you want/expect/demand a guy initiates contact.
Most have also said that rejection is something they fear and here it is not in play.
Now you all are saying that when a guy does just what you want you can`t deal with it?
Take a deep breath and a moments thought about this and stop this silliness.
That is not meant as snarky,just think about it and do what you should when the situation that you desire presents itself.
it's been my experience that the guys who get confused about lady talk like this tend do so because they can't keep track of individuals and just want to lump us all together as women have said xyz...
just to be clear, asking lady A about situation B and lady B about situation A is in no way the same thing as asking lady A about situation A or lady B about situation B
I HAVE BEEN SAYING THIS FOR SO LONG
and EVERY time someone is like "Well I know, BUT" which means NO! You DON'T know!! 
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