"Let's hang out"
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If a man IS that interested, why do they choose not to show their emotions like this anymore? I experienced that with ONE ex... He was head over heels and not afraid to show it. Now I don't see that happening so often... not just with me but with my friends. Is it not manly enough!? I don't get it...
Personally I made the mistake of not showing this enough, but mine was to do with issues of depression and anxiety which I let stop me being how I wanted to be as had convinced myself I might lose her if I seemed too full on. Lost her anyway and I still say its at least partly because she wasn't sure if i still felt the same or exactly how strong my feelings were. In the unlikely event I'm ever in that situation again, I will make sure they and everyone else know exactly how I feel about them.0 -
Looks like it didn't work too well for him in the end...If a man IS that interested, why do they choose not to show their emotions like this anymore?
I experienced that with ONE ex... He was head over heels and not afraid to show it.
Looks like it's not getting in the way of them having relationships...Now I don't see that happening so often... not just with me but with my friends. Is it not manly enough!? I don't get it...
It's just one more of these things that "would be nice" but that fundamentally nobody cares about.0 -
This is common in every generation. It's more about a lack of understanding. These kids haven't been consciously aware of a tragedy in their lifetime. They don't know what it's like for your entire world to get rocked and come into question. Yeah, it's disrespectful, but it's not because they're twerps it's because they are incapable of understanding that type of horror until they experience it for themselves. While yeah, they should have been reigned in, I would be more upset at the adults for allowing that to happen rather than the kids themselves who were acting from the very definition of innocence. You can know that something happened without being able to really process it.
The current economic conditions (2007-present) doesn't qualify as a tragedy? This is the worst economic downturn since the Great Depression.
Are you really comparing a bad economy to a serious tragedy (9/11 for example)? Sorry, that's apples and oranges in my opinion.0 -
This is common in every generation. It's more about a lack of understanding. These kids haven't been consciously aware of a tragedy in their lifetime. They don't know what it's like for your entire world to get rocked and come into question. Yeah, it's disrespectful, but it's not because they're twerps it's because they are incapable of understanding that type of horror until they experience it for themselves. While yeah, they should have been reigned in, I would be more upset at the adults for allowing that to happen rather than the kids themselves who were acting from the very definition of innocence. You can know that something happened without being able to really process it.
The current economic conditions (2007-present) doesn't qualify as a tragedy? This is the worst economic downturn since the Great Depression.
Are you really comparing a bad economy to a serious tragedy (9/11 for example)? Sorry, that's apples and oranges in my opinion.
Not to mention the current economic environment, though bad, is NOT a tragedy. People are still getting fed, have places to sleep and can live their lives (albeit without as much frivolity as was so common in the 90's). My guess is that these kids AREN'T the ones that are stricken with homelessness, the ones that don't have to wear shoes two sizes too small, or haven't even owned a new piece of clothing in their life.
PJ is right, significant tragedies and our concept of them is marked with solid events, dates, times. "Over 3000 people died in one horrific day and was the launching point for several wars that we still haven't recovered from" is FAR worse than "In a little under a decade some people lost their jobs and struggled a bit but most made it out fine."0 -
Looks like it didn't work too well for him in the end...If a man IS that interested, why do they choose not to show their emotions like this anymore?
I experienced that with ONE ex... He was head over heels and not afraid to show it.
Looks like it's not getting in the way of them having relationships...Now I don't see that happening so often... not just with me but with my friends. Is it not manly enough!? I don't get it...
It's just one more of these things that "would be nice" but that fundamentally nobody cares about.
He tried reconnecting with me after a few years. He still hadn't grown up and I didn't give him a chance. It was very very unfortunate, but he died in a car accident a few months later.
It isn't getting in the way of them having relationships because I think many of us settle (not all of us admit this).
*Edit- typo0 -
If a man IS that interested, why do they choose not to show their emotions like this anymore? I experienced that with ONE ex... He was head over heels and not afraid to show it. Now I don't see that happening so often... not just with me but with my friends. Is it not manly enough!? I don't get it...
Personally I made the mistake of not showing this enough, but mine was to do with issues of depression and anxiety which I let stop me being how I wanted to be as had convinced myself I might lose her if I seemed too full on. Lost her anyway and I still say its at least partly because she wasn't sure if i still felt the same or exactly how strong my feelings were. In the unlikely event I'm ever in that situation again, I will make sure they and everyone else know exactly how I feel about them.
And sometimes it takes losing someone to realize this...
Glad you are sure of it for next time
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I'm going to second you on this Carl.This is tangent and also a rant but bear with me.
When I was in Dallas in August I walked down to Dealy Plaza where President Kennedy was assassinated.
This is a spot where the entire course of our country and world changed in 3 seconds.
It is a sobering thing to go through the museum on the sixth floor and see where Oswald shot from.
The road is marked at the locations where the bullets struck and there was what appeared to be a classroom of kids there.
They would go out to the spot and make goofy poses,the sideways or upside down peace sign (whatever the hell that stupid looking thing means) so they could have their picture taken.
To me it was utterly disgraceful and not one adult in the group even tried to stop them.
I wanted to kick their collective *kitten*.
Okay so the point is that as a society we have lost basic elements of respect it seems.
I suppose this is the result of the MTV/electronic culture but it is to me sad.
This fits in with that whether it is basic manners or taking anything seriously,we have not advanced in the last 30 years.
The sad thing is that I think we are going to have to sit back and watch alot more stupid crap take place...with even less respect than what we've witnessed thus far.0 -
i make sure that i only accept the invite if it is a date, and i'm interested in the person.
i've even had conversations discussing our plans and had him make sure we both agreed it was a date......
this last guy, he was one of those. he wanted me to know it was a date. we did talk on the phone several times before we met the first time.
interestingly enough, he sent me a text saturday night that said " i'm getting off of work now. whatcha up to?" i was going to baby sit for a friend, but i responded that i was helping a friend and that if he wanted to see me, he could ask me out on a date.
never heard back LOL!!!!!!0 -
I'm sure I've used the "hang out" card plenty of times. Why? Lots of reasons.
1. That's just how I talk. I think it sounds stupid saying "Do you want to go on a date this weekend."
2. I like keeping things casual. I have no idea if we'll hit it off romantically, let's hang out and see what happens.
3. If someone has a problem with me saying "hang out" instead of "date" then they're probably not my type.
4. I don't have everything planned when I ask them out, it leaves my options open. Generally I'll see what day they are free and then think of something to do.
5. I'm making it clear that I'd like to spend time with them and get to know them better, my choice of words shouldn't matter one bit. Would you rather I say "Would you like to go to dinner so I can get a couple drinks in you then go back to my place and have crazy monkey sex?"
6. If you don't want to hang out with me then I assume there's a good chance you don't want to date me either.0 -
I don't think I've ever asked any gal to just hang out but most of my recent dates I've met through online sites. However, almost everything I've read from women seems to make me think hanging out is the ideal way to get to know someone. The general consensus among the women here is that whoever asks the other out on a date should pay for it (which is a BS cop out since most of the same women also say they will hint that they are interested but won't actually ask a guy out.). The women also say that guys need to be assertive in making plans. It seems rather utopian for the women. All you have to do is sit back in judgement while the guy puts in all the effort and money. A rational response is to ask a girl to hang out. It's not a date so the guy shouldn't be expected to pay (by the reasoning presented by women here) and there is no need to go through all the hassle of planning.0
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1) are you guilty of pulling the "lets hang out" card
A) if yes, why?
if no, what do you say to women you ask out?
And for both genders:
1) has dating become more casual than it used to be? Is that good or bad?
1) I am not guilty of pulling the "lets [sic] hang out" card.
A) N/A I usually say something like this: "Nechceš se mnou na večeři?"
1) I'm sure it has become more casual. It's neither good nor bad, as it doesn't change how I approach the ladies.
--P0 -
There's a HUGE difference between saying "let's hang out and grab a drink at a local pub" as opposed to "let's hang out and watch a movie at my place."0
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There's a HUGE difference between saying "let's hang out and grab a drink at a local pub" as opposed to "let's hang out and watch a movie at my place."
Is there? Do tell...0 -
There's a HUGE difference between saying "let's hang out and grab a drink at a local pub" as opposed to "let's hang out and watch a movie at my place."
Is there? Do tell...
My guess is that the latter indicates less of a "get to know you" and more of a "let's have sex and then I'll give you cab fare to get home so you don't stay the night" type vibe.0 -
This is common in every generation. It's more about a lack of understanding. These kids haven't been consciously aware of a tragedy in their lifetime. They don't know what it's like for your entire world to get rocked and come into question. Yeah, it's disrespectful, but it's not because they're twerps it's because they are incapable of understanding that type of horror until they experience it for themselves. While yeah, they should have been reigned in, I would be more upset at the adults for allowing that to happen rather than the kids themselves who were acting from the very definition of innocence. You can know that something happened without being able to really process it.
The current economic conditions (2007-present) doesn't qualify as a tragedy? This is the worst economic downturn since the Great Depression.
Are you really comparing a bad economy to a serious tragedy (9/11 for example)? Sorry, that's apples and oranges in my opinion.
You are right that it is apples and oranges. Apples and oranges are both forms of fruit. The current economic downturn and 9/11 are both tragedies.
Tell someone who is unemployed right now, goes on tons of interviews and can't get a job offer that things are not tragic. Tell someone who is a recent graduate of college and working a mcjob that a high schooler could do that the economy isn't a tragedy right now (50% of recent college graduates are unemployed or underemployed right now). Tell someone who is underwater on their mortgage that this isn't a tragedy.
Unemployment, much of which is being caused by macroeconomic conditions beyond the individual's control, is a significant source of psychological trauma, ranked up there with divorce and death of a loved one.
Those who stood on the bread lines of the Great Depression would have called that a tragedy too. And keep in mind that the poor economic conditions in Germany in the 1930s were a factor in bringing Hitler to power, which caused the Holocaust and World War II, both of which are forms of tragedy.0 -
This is common in every generation. It's more about a lack of understanding. These kids haven't been consciously aware of a tragedy in their lifetime. They don't know what it's like for your entire world to get rocked and come into question. Yeah, it's disrespectful, but it's not because they're twerps it's because they are incapable of understanding that type of horror until they experience it for themselves. While yeah, they should have been reigned in, I would be more upset at the adults for allowing that to happen rather than the kids themselves who were acting from the very definition of innocence. You can know that something happened without being able to really process it.
The current economic conditions (2007-present) doesn't qualify as a tragedy? This is the worst economic downturn since the Great Depression.
Are you really comparing a bad economy to a serious tragedy (9/11 for example)? Sorry, that's apples and oranges in my opinion.
You are right that it is apples and oranges. Apples and oranges are both forms of fruit. The current economic downturn and 9/11 are both tragedies.
Tell someone who is unemployed right now, goes on tons of interviews and can't get a job offer that things are not tragic. Tell someone who is a recent graduate of college and working a mcjob that a high schooler could do that the economy isn't a tragedy right now (50% of recent college graduates are unemployed or underemployed right now). Tell someone who is underwater on their mortgage that this isn't a tragedy.
Unemployment, much of which is being caused by macroeconomic conditions beyond the individual's control, is a significant source of psychological trauma, ranked up there with divorce and death of a loved one.
Those who stood on the bread lines of the Great Depression would have called that a tragedy too. And keep in mind that the poor economic conditions in Germany in the 1930s were a factor in bringing Hitler to power, which caused the Holocaust and World War II, both of which are forms of tragedy.
"The worst since the great depression" =/= "as bad as the great depression"
Things aren't awesome right now, we can all agree on that. Fact is, it's still doesn't compare to 9/11, or Pearl Harbor, or Hiroshima, or any other generation defining events. That person that is going to all the interviews, or is underemployed? They're still eating. They still have places to sleep. They might not have a whole lot of extra, if any, but they're alive and have enough to survive on.0 -
There's a HUGE difference between saying "let's hang out and grab a drink at a local pub" as opposed to "let's hang out and watch a movie at my place."
Is there? Do tell...
My guess is that the latter indicates less of a "get to know you" and more of a "let's have sex and then I'll give you cab fare to get home so you don't stay the night" type vibe.
The difference between "let's hang out at the pub" and "let's hang out at my place"?
From my experience, about 3 hours...
;-)
--P0 -
There's a HUGE difference between saying "let's hang out and grab a drink at a local pub" as opposed to "let's hang out and watch a movie at my place."
^This.0 -
This is common in every generation. It's more about a lack of understanding. These kids haven't been consciously aware of a tragedy in their lifetime. They don't know what it's like for your entire world to get rocked and come into question. Yeah, it's disrespectful, but it's not because they're twerps it's because they are incapable of understanding that type of horror until they experience it for themselves. While yeah, they should have been reigned in, I would be more upset at the adults for allowing that to happen rather than the kids themselves who were acting from the very definition of innocence. You can know that something happened without being able to really process it.
The current economic conditions (2007-present) doesn't qualify as a tragedy? This is the worst economic downturn since the Great Depression.
Are you really comparing a bad economy to a serious tragedy (9/11 for example)? Sorry, that's apples and oranges in my opinion.
You are right that it is apples and oranges. Apples and oranges are both forms of fruit. The current economic downturn and 9/11 are both tragedies.
Tell someone who is unemployed right now, goes on tons of interviews and can't get a job offer that things are not tragic. Tell someone who is a recent graduate of college and working a mcjob that a high schooler could do that the economy isn't a tragedy right now (50% of recent college graduates are unemployed or underemployed right now). Tell someone who is underwater on their mortgage that this isn't a tragedy.
Unemployment, much of which is being caused by macroeconomic conditions beyond the individual's control, is a significant source of psychological trauma, ranked up there with divorce and death of a loved one.
Those who stood on the bread lines of the Great Depression would have called that a tragedy too. And keep in mind that the poor economic conditions in Germany in the 1930s were a factor in bringing Hitler to power, which caused the Holocaust and World War II, both of which are forms of tragedy.
"The worst since the great depression" =/= "as bad as the great depression"
Things aren't awesome right now, we can all agree on that. Fact is, it's still doesn't compare to 9/11, or Pearl Harbor, or Hiroshima, or any other generation defining events. That person that is going to all the interviews, or is underemployed? They're still eating. They still have places to sleep. They might not have a whole lot of extra, if any, but they're alive and have enough to survive on.
I have sympathy for anyone struggling with their finances. But at the same time, I don't consider working at McDonalds to be tragic. It may be a hardship, but it builds character and resiliency, something many people lack these days. And again, while I feel badly for those who are underwater on a mortgage, no one forced them to purchase a home. Tragic is not the same as making an uneducated or unlucky decision.0 -
I'm sure I've used the "hang out" card plenty of times. Why? Lots of reasons.
1. That's just how I talk. I think it sounds stupid saying "Do you want to go on a date this weekend."
2. I like keeping things casual. I have no idea if we'll hit it off romantically, let's hang out and see what happens.
3. If someone has a problem with me saying "hang out" instead of "date" then they're probably not my type.
4. I don't have everything planned when I ask them out, it leaves my options open. Generally I'll see what day they are free and then think of something to do.
5. I'm making it clear that I'd like to spend time with them and get to know them better, my choice of words shouldn't matter one bit. Would you rather I say "Would you like to go to dinner so I can get a couple drinks in you then go back to my place and have crazy monkey sex?"
6. If you don't want to hang out with me then I assume there's a good chance you don't want to date me either.
I agree 100% with this. It's just the way people speak, no more, no less.0
