Insight
christine24t
Posts: 6,063 Member
Have you ever asked family or friends why they think you're single or why you have dating problems or why you always have failed relationships or why nobody asks you out? Has anyone ever given you unsolicited advice?
The reason I ask is that because this weekend my friends and I were talking about what kind of men we want to date and I said "someone that makes me get up and do things. I dislike having to come up with ideas of activities to do because I'm scared of the person rejecting me or my idea." My friend said that she has noticed that.
So for 2013 I decided my goal is to invite people to do things rather than wait for an invite!
The reason I ask is that because this weekend my friends and I were talking about what kind of men we want to date and I said "someone that makes me get up and do things. I dislike having to come up with ideas of activities to do because I'm scared of the person rejecting me or my idea." My friend said that she has noticed that.
So for 2013 I decided my goal is to invite people to do things rather than wait for an invite!
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Not quite, but family and other friends constantly assume something is going on between me and a couple of close female friends I have whenever I catch up with them. A lot of people struggle with concept that I have close female friends without there being something else going on.0
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yeah and it can be eye opening.
for me the general consensus has been that i dont stick around anywhere long enough to give guys a chance or give any relationship a chance. it's related to both how much i relocate to how i behave when i'm out in public. i'm usually more concerned with getting to point B from point A than paying attention to the in-between.
people's advice has been that i stop and smell the roses....easier said than done, but i'll give it a go for 2013 since my regular way is obviously not working
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Have you ever asked family or friends why they think you're single or why you have dating problems or why you always have failed relationships or why nobody asks you out? Has anyone ever given you unsolicited advice?
The reason I ask is that because this weekend my friends and I were talking about what kind of men we want to date and I said "someone that makes me get up and do things. I dislike having to come up with ideas of activities to do because I'm scared of the person rejecting me or my idea." My friend said that she has noticed that.
So for 2013 I decided my goal is to invite people to do things rather than wait for an invite!
Yours is the same as mine! I'm really bad at getting up the courage to ask people to do things or to just do them because I'm so shy or concerned with being rejected/having someone think that my idea is stupid. I have social anxiety and there have been times when it actually prevents me from leaving the house.
Because of this, I don't have a whole lot of very close friends because I'm never initiating and eventually people get tired of doing all of the "work".
I'm getting better... So maybe for 2013, I'll try to be less introverted and make an effort to reach out to people.0 -
All of you have great goals for 2013, that is awesome! I'm right there with you, 2012 was the year that I really pushed myself to be more social and I'm going to keep it up this year too, so we can motivate one another!!!
Oh and I haven;t asked family or friends why I'm single because I already know the answer... it was just a matter of timing for now. Hopefully being more social will help change that this coming year!0 -
Unfortunately, I can't change the main reasons people give me why I'm single. Most of my guy friends tell me that I'm very intimidating to date because of my career and intelligence. :ohwell:0
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Unfortunately, I can't change the main reasons people give me why I'm single. Most of my guy friends tell me that I'm very intimidating to date because of my career and intelligence. :ohwell:
I have never understood why people find intelligence intimidating in a relationship, unless someone is constantly trying to show they are cleverer why does it matter, if the two of you fit then you fit, intelligence, career whatever. just dont get it!!!0 -
I don't ask people why I'm single, and it rarely comes up. Though recently my roommate drunkenly yelled at me for "not trying hard enough" to find someone, and that I'm being "too picky" and should just date one of three guys that are into me even though for various reasons they would be a bad fit.
It's true. I am not trying hard enough, because I'm perfectly fine being single. Dragging a poor fit into my life for the sake of being not single sounds awful to me.0 -
Unfortunately, I can't change the main reasons people give me why I'm single. Most of my guy friends tell me that I'm very intimidating to date because of my career and intelligence. :ohwell:
I think you should tell everyone to GFY...sorry I think that is bull****, your career and intelligence are great and anyone intimidated by them is half a man.
Where do you live? I will go there and take you on a date show all the dumbasses in your world they are missing out.
Rant over0 -
Unfortunately, I can't change the main reasons people give me why I'm single. Most of my guy friends tell me that I'm very intimidating to date because of my career and intelligence. :ohwell:
I think you should tell everyone to GFY...sorry I think that is bull****, your career and intelligence are great and anyone intimidated by them is half a man.
Where do you live? I will go there and take you on a date show all the dumbasses in your world they are missing out.
Rant over
Awww .. I just grew a little crush on you for that!0 -
I don't ask people why I'm single, and it rarely comes up. Though recently my roommate drunkenly yelled at me for "not trying hard enough" to find someone, and that I'm being "too picky" and should just date one of three guys that are into me even though for various reasons they would be a bad fit.
It's true. I am not trying hard enough, because I'm perfectly fine being single. Dragging a poor fit into my life for the sake of being not single sounds awful to me.
Dude .. I can't stop staring at your boobies. lol0 -
^^^^ no **** and it isnt even Friday!! WIN0
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Unfortunately, I can't change the main reasons people give me why I'm single. Most of my guy friends tell me that I'm very intimidating to date because of my career and intelligence. :ohwell:
I think you should tell everyone to GFY...sorry I think that is bull****, your career and intelligence are great and anyone intimidated by them is half a man.
Where do you live? I will go there and take you on a date show all the dumbasses in your world they are missing out.
Rant over
Awww .. I just grew a little crush on you for that!
A little crush?? Well damn I assumed (im pretty arrogant) I was the huge MFP crush you had that you wouldnt tell anyone about.0 -
Huh. No one has ever accused me of being too intimidating, ambitious and/or intelligent. Awesome.. I'm a totally dateable underachieving moron!
Ladies, can we all just agree that our group crush this week is on will010574 for a variety of reasons?0 -
Huh. No one has ever accused me of being too intimidating, ambitious and/or intelligent. Awesome.. I'm a totally dateable underachieving moron!
Ladies, can we all just agree that our group crush this week is on will010574 for a variety of reasons?
No one has ever accused me of that either. I think it's just the people I surround myself with. I have had people comment on my intellect/ambition/drive, but I've never perceived that as a slight or a reason communications ceased. Honestly, before this group I didn't even realize it was a real thing and not just some excuse fabricated by women who didn't want to admit that they were just insufferable b*tches. (Please note, I am not calling anyone an insufferable b*tch, just that it was my perception BEFORE this group).
Yessssssss0 -
I don't ask people why I'm single, and it rarely comes up. Though recently my roommate drunkenly yelled at me for "not trying hard enough" to find someone, and that I'm being "too picky" and should just date one of three guys that are into me even though for various reasons they would be a bad fit.
It's true. I am not trying hard enough, because I'm perfectly fine being single. Dragging a poor fit into my life for the sake of being not single sounds awful to me.
Dude .. I can't stop staring at your boobies. lol
HAHAHA! I keep forgetting to change my icon, and when it does occur to me I'm usually distracted by something else XD The closest I got was on Thursday and then I decided to keep it up for Boobie Friday... come and gone hahahaha0 -
Huh. No one has ever accused me of being too intimidating, ambitious and/or intelligent. Awesome.. I'm a totally dateable underachieving moron!
Ladies, can we all just agree that our group crush this week is on will010574 for a variety of reasons?
Word. to both. lol0 -
Unfortunately, I can't change the main reasons people give me why I'm single. Most of my guy friends tell me that I'm very intimidating to date because of my career and intelligence. :ohwell:
I think you should tell everyone to GFY...sorry I think that is bull****, your career and intelligence are great and anyone intimidated by them is half a man.
Where do you live? I will go there and take you on a date show all the dumbasses in your world they are missing out.
Rant over
Awww .. I just grew a little crush on you for that!
A little crush?? Well damn I assumed (im pretty arrogant) I was the huge MFP crush you had that you wouldnt tell anyone about.
Oh yeah... we still never got an answer about that... :huh:0 -
Unfortunately, I can't change the main reasons people give me why I'm single. Most of my guy friends tell me that I'm very intimidating to date because of my career and intelligence. :ohwell:
I think you should tell everyone to GFY...sorry I think that is bull****, your career and intelligence are great and anyone intimidated by them is half a man.
Where do you live? I will go there and take you on a date show all the dumbasses in your world they are missing out.
Rant over
Awww .. I just grew a little crush on you for that!
A little crush?? Well damn I assumed (im pretty arrogant) I was the huge MFP crush you had that you wouldnt tell anyone about.
Oh yeah... we still never got an answer about that... :huh:
Thanks Will. :grumble:
Lets talk about Kits boobs instead!! woot woot!:bigsmile:0 -
Unfortunately, I can't change the main reasons people give me why I'm single. Most of my guy friends tell me that I'm very intimidating to date because of my career and intelligence. :ohwell:
I think you should tell everyone to GFY...sorry I think that is bull****, your career and intelligence are great and anyone intimidated by them is half a man.
Where do you live? I will go there and take you on a date show all the dumbasses in your world they are missing out.
Rant over
Awww .. I just grew a little crush on you for that!
A little crush?? Well damn I assumed (im pretty arrogant) I was the huge MFP crush you had that you wouldnt tell anyone about.
Oh yeah... we still never got an answer about that... :huh:
Thanks Will. :grumble:
Lets talk about Kits boobs instead!! woot woot!:bigsmile:
My boobs want to know who your crush is!0 -
This started out about why we are single, and it became about Boobs. I love it.0
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Unfortunately, I can't change the main reasons people give me why I'm single. Most of my guy friends tell me that I'm very intimidating to date because of my career and intelligence. :ohwell:
I think you should tell everyone to GFY...sorry I think that is bull****, your career and intelligence are great and anyone intimidated by them is half a man.
Where do you live? I will go there and take you on a date show all the dumbasses in your world they are missing out.
Rant over
Awww .. I just grew a little crush on you for that!
A little crush?? Well damn I assumed (im pretty arrogant) I was the huge MFP crush you had that you wouldnt tell anyone about.
Oh yeah... we still never got an answer about that... :huh:
Thanks Will. :grumble:
Lets talk about Kits boobs instead!! woot woot!:bigsmile:
My boobs want to know who your crush is!
Well played Kits! :drinker:0 -
This started out about why we are single, and it became about Boobs. I love it.
Everything should eventually become about boobs or it is a failed conversation.0 -
This started out about why we are single, and it became about Boobs. I love it.
Everything should eventually become about boobs or it is a failed conversation.
Agreed!0 -
I like the way you think.This started out about why we are single, and it became about Boobs. I love it.
Everything should eventually become about boobs or it is a failed conversation.0 -
Have you ever asked family or friends why they think you're single or why you have dating problems or why you always have failed relationships or why nobody asks you out? Has anyone ever given you unsolicited advice?
The reason I ask is that because this weekend my friends and I were talking about what kind of men we want to date and I said "someone that makes me get up and do things. I dislike having to come up with ideas of activities to do because I'm scared of the person rejecting me or my idea." My friend said that she has noticed that.
So for 2013 I decided my goal is to invite people to do things rather than wait for an invite!
Good for you... I think you will see more opportunity come your way!0 -
Same here except it's only women. Doesn't even need to be a girl I am into. It's that fear of rejection/feeling stupid. I have no problems with guys thinking an idea of mine is stupid. Usually, with my guy friends, if one rejects my idea as stupid, I just retort "oh yeah? Well, your face is stupid!" We then both laugh and move on. With someone of the opposite sex however...Have you ever asked family or friends why they think you're single or why you have dating problems or why you always have failed relationships or why nobody asks you out? Has anyone ever given you unsolicited advice?
The reason I ask is that because this weekend my friends and I were talking about what kind of men we want to date and I said "someone that makes me get up and do things. I dislike having to come up with ideas of activities to do because I'm scared of the person rejecting me or my idea." My friend said that she has noticed that.
So for 2013 I decided my goal is to invite people to do things rather than wait for an invite!
Yours is the same as mine! I'm really bad at getting up the courage to ask people to do things or to just do them because I'm so shy or concerned with being rejected/having someone think that my idea is stupid. I have social anxiety and there have been times when it actually prevents me from leaving the house.
Because of this, I don't have a whole lot of very close friends because I'm never initiating and eventually people get tired of doing all of the "work".
I'm getting better... So maybe for 2013, I'll try to be less introverted and make an effort to reach out to people.0 -
if one rejects my idea as stupid, I just retort "oh yeah? Well, your face is stupid!" We then both laugh and move on.
I do that with everyone. If it works for friends, it'll work with the person you're compatible with!0 -
Unfortunately, I can't change the main reasons people give me why I'm single. Most of my guy friends tell me that I'm very intimidating to date because of my career and intelligence. :ohwell:
I think you should tell everyone to GFY...sorry I think that is bull****, your career and intelligence are great and anyone intimidated by them is half a man.
Where do you live? I will go there and take you on a date show all the dumbasses in your world they are missing out.
Rant over
I live in Los Angeles. I actually understand a man's desire to be the provider in a relationship. Unfortunately most of the men I meet who make as much or more than me are total a**holes and I don't want to date them. Just the way it is.0 -
Unfortunately, I can't change the main reasons people give me why I'm single. Most of my guy friends tell me that I'm very intimidating to date because of my career and intelligence. :ohwell:
I think you should tell everyone to GFY...sorry I think that is bull****, your career and intelligence are great and anyone intimidated by them is half a man.
Where do you live? I will go there and take you on a date show all the dumbasses in your world they are missing out.
Rant over
I live in Los Angeles. I actually understand a man's desire to be the provider in a relationship. Unfortunately most of the men I meet who make as much or more than me are total a**holes and I don't want to date them. Just the way it is.
So would you consider a serious relationship with someone who makes considerably less than you and that's perfectly content with you being a provider?
Let's say he's fairly educated and works in a traditionally low paying field.. maybe he's a publisher's assistant making 40k a year.0 -
So would you consider a serious relationship with someone who makes considerably less than you and that's perfectly content with you being a provider?
Let's say he's fairly educated and works in a traditionally low paying field.. maybe he's a publisher's assistant making 40k a year.
I would be fine with a guy making considerably less than me as long as he loves what he does. The way I see it, I'm paying all the bills living alone so another person in the house doesn't significantly increase my bills at all. I just want that person to make enough so they can support their own stuff, buy things they want, pay their cell phone bill, etc. I don't want to be a sugar mama but I don't mind being the main provider.0
