why are you single?

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  • ShazMc73
    ShazMc73 Posts: 106 Member
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    I am not particularly insecure or scared of a relationship, would love not to be single and think I have a lot to offer, but no idea how it will realistically happen.

    I live in a small country where the number of good looking, educated and single women far outweigh single men. The men here are very spoilt because of the imbalance, and they would rather choose a gorgeous 25 year old over an independent 39 year old. Some women are ok with sharing the attention/guy but not me.

    I DO get asked out but usually by much older or much younger, never in my age range! I like men in my age range!!

    I tend to meet people through my travel for work but I'll never have more than a drink or a dinner through these meetings. Having said that, I am not adverse to a long distance relationship if I met the right person; unfortunately, I seem to have a special talent for becoming interested in the emotionally unavailable man.

    I'm not perfect either, I am very set in my ways. Have done well for myself without the help of a man so not the best at spoiling a guy... yes I should work on that. I'm also visually a 6 in a land of 10's that can't help huh.... :frown:
  • nolachick
    nolachick Posts: 3,278 Member
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    I have a hard time letting people in and it's often mistaken for being stuck up. Once I do let them in, I have high standards and I'm hard to keep up with. The ones who can overlook this will stick around. But I'm usually the one saying it's just not working. I'd rather be alone than waste time with someone I know it's not gonna work out with.

    lol this sounds like me. the last guy i dated told me that he will not "bow down to me" just because of my looks :noway:

    WTF? lol. i never asked him to. guess i came off as stuck up because I was being cautious and treading lightly. oh well..
  • nolachick
    nolachick Posts: 3,278 Member
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    Great question, OP.

    I'm single for a variety of reasons:

    1 - I had a very bad marriage and it's hard to have a serious relationship after that experience. Once bitten, etc., etc.

    2 - I travel like crazy. i'm on a plane every other week, on average. Good luck with that...

    3 - When I'm not away on business, I try to spend as much time as possible with my two kids. They are 11 and 9, and need a lot of attention. I enjoy being with them, too. But it makes it difficult to make time for someone else.

    4 - I live in the Czech Republic, but not in Prague. I have a small apartment in Prague, but I only use this when I'm working there. I live with my kids in a town in the north, very near the Czech/Polish/German border, about 90 min from Prague. There are fewer compatible women here. It's not just about the number of available women. Most educated women are living and working in Prague, because the salary levels there are so much higher for Czechs. All of the women I've dated since my divorce were from Prague, but that means I have at most 1 or 2 days a week when I'm there, max. It's just not possible to have a relationship under those conditions.

    5 - I'm 45. It's hard to find a woman who isn't in a similar situation as I: divorced, children, limited time, etc. Younger women can't understand why I'm at hockey tournaments on weekends instead of with them - and I don't blame them... Women close to my age have their own kids and their own priorities.

    6 - Living in a foreign country adds another layer of complexity. I speak Czech, it's not a language issue. It's more cultural. For example, I love to laugh, and I can be very sarcastic (hopefully not "cruel" sarcastic). In any case, it doesn't translate well.

    7 - I'm probably unreasonable in what I desire from a woman. Too many contradictions within my "perfect" mate. Also, on a related note, I'm not a "normal" guy, and I think it's hard for women to understand who I am and what I want.

    8 - I am a very friendly and social person (I swear!), but not until I get to know someone. I don't do well when I first meet people. I'm not very forward, and people take this for arrogance ("I guess he's not interested" etc. etc.). It makes it harder to meet people. I'm trying to work on this... Alcohol helps... :-)

    9 - I have a bad habit of making numbered lists in my posts, which is a huge turn off for most women. :-)

    I haven't really given up, but I'm not seriously looking for a girlfriend now. It's just too unlikely, given my constraints, and I don't want to start something when I don't have the time to do it properly.

    --P

    glad u can admit to #7.
    u need to work on curing #9 - this is a big issue maybe the biggest problem LOL
    and yes u can seem overly sarcastic and rude sometimes. just being honest.
  • flimflamfloz
    flimflamfloz Posts: 1,980 Member
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    I live in a small country where the number of good looking, educated and single women far outweigh single men. The men here are very spoilt because of the imbalance
    The place where you live sounds like heaven! :love: :love: :love: Where do you live again?
    I'm single probably because I don't want to commit...
  • Natx83
    Natx83 Posts: 1,308 Member
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    I'm single cause bruintamer doesn't live In Australia lol
  • xxcandywrathxx
    xxcandywrathxx Posts: 200 Member
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    I'm single because I cant stand the people in my area. Most of the guys and girls where I live are either Sluts, *kitten*, needy or feral. (I live in a wonderful place in-case you cant tell) You'll meet a decent looking guy and you'll find out he has a kid to some random chick and he dont even visit his kid or that he cheats on everyone, or he just wants in your pants. Dont even get me started on the girls. (Im bisexual In-case u cant tell)
    then there's the thing with none of the guys in my area even looking the slightest bit like my type, there all either try-hard gangsters, dress like queer skaters or there butt *kitten* ugly. (Dont think Im shallow, I always go for personality before appearance. Its just hard to like someone when there wearing pants that show there *kitten* and a ridiculous hat) I go for normal dressing guys or punk guys...none around my area if you dont wanna include 40 year old men.
    I NEED to get out of this town. . .
  • Nerple
    Nerple Posts: 1,291 Member
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    I'm single cause bruintamer doesn't live In Australia lol

    Or because you don't live in California!
  • Natx83
    Natx83 Posts: 1,308 Member
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    I'm single cause bruintamer doesn't live In Australia lol

    Or because you don't live in California!

    Touché sir touché
  • dynamicwon
    dynamicwon Posts: 175 Member
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    Im single because I wanted to be in a monogamous relationship. That just seems so simple and easy but the men I meet dont want that at all.
  • Jodibear58
    Jodibear58 Posts: 280 Member
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    Because I was married for 25 years, divorced 4 years ago and no one is interested in me.

    i dont believe that no one is interested in u! and u definitely look way younger than ur age! are u lookin?


    Yeah, I spent about 3 years on dating sites. They were all looking for Barbie....or quick sex.
  • ambercholtz
    ambercholtz Posts: 84 Member
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    Yeah, I spent about 3 years on dating sites. They were all looking for Barbie....or quick sex.

    Don't they all? LOL

    I feel for yah.
  • bruintamer
    bruintamer Posts: 183 Member
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    I'm single cause bruintamer doesn't live In Australia lol

    Or because you don't live in California!

    Touché sir touché

    I must agree with Nerple. He is wise.
  • BigBrewski
    BigBrewski Posts: 922 Member
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    Because my online profile wasn't appealing to women :) (just kidding)

    I am single becuase after a divorcing a cheating wife it took me a while to "trust" in women again and to believe in myself. I've had 2 girlfriends since my divorce and they didn't work out but I was out there trying. Right now I believe I am single because I have really just stopped looking and for now I am focused on some personal goals of weight loss and strenght training. I am not saying I woudn't go out if asked and if I bump into someone that is really cool I would probably ask them out. However, right now I am not out looking if I am not at the gym (in my apt building) I am at work or walking my dogs or at home watching TV. Once I reach some of my goals then I'll start going back out, joining some clubs, maybe a bowling league, venture in to the local gyms, and basically take my "online" flirting offline LOL
  • met42485
    met42485 Posts: 71 Member
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    Cause the judge.said "this divorce is granted". Such sweet words!

    AMEN!!!!
  • findinglessjess
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    Right now I'm single because I choose to be. I'm focused on bettering myself at the moment.
  • Meghan0116
    Meghan0116 Posts: 1,340 Member
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    Today probably isn't the best day for me to post on here.

    I am single because:

    I don't have a lot of time to date and will not let a man around my son until the relationship has gone somewhere.
    Am very blunt about what I want and what I am looking for.
    I am shy and can come off snobby.
    I have been told I am intimidating.
    I am not comfortable with who I am.
    I don't like what I see in the mirror.
    I don't like what I feel in my head.
    I am lonely but would rather be alone.
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
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    Yeah, I spent about 3 years on dating sites. They were all looking for Barbie....or quick sex.

    Couldn't it be said that the same thing happens in offline means as well? People are people. Though online isn't the greatest medium, I will agree there.
  • dbrightwell1270
    dbrightwell1270 Posts: 1,732 Member
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    Because I was fat enough that in a 14 year period there were only two women that showed any interest in me at all. One was a student who wanted a better grade and one started out by saying "my friend's dad works with you and he makes tons of money." Now that I've lost a lot of weight and women find me appealling, I want to savor the experience and enjoy it as much as possible without turning it into a game.
  • _SpeshK_
    _SpeshK_ Posts: 496 Member
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    Because I'm a f-ing idiot.
  • oddyogi
    oddyogi Posts: 1,816 Member
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    Because I'm a f-ing idiot.

    :frown: No! You're not!

    :flowerforyou: