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why are you single?

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  • Siekobilly
    Siekobilly Posts: 401 Member
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    Because I'm selfish, and I don't want to make someone feel unappreciated. I think everyone deserves someone who will treat them like a prince/princess, and I don't think I have it in me. It also doesn't help that I don't go out looking for dates or anything like that. Never have.
  • nolachick
    nolachick Posts: 3,278 Member
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    I'm single, because I am insecure. I've only found one person who told me I was beautiful and liked me for me. Other than that all I ever find are guys who think I should feel honored that they talk to me and I should sleep with them.

    you are beautiful! don't let anyone tell you differently. and don't depend on anyone else for validation!

    Because I'm selfish, and I don't want to make someone feel unappreciated. I think everyone deserves someone who will treat them like a prince/princess, and I don't think I have it in me. It also doesn't help that I don't go out looking for dates or anything like that. Never have.

    atleast u can admit it and keep from messing up someone else's feelings. have to respect that. on the other hand thats unfortunate because sharing special moments with a special person is amazing.
  • Ragel27
    Ragel27 Posts: 41 Member
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    As my taste in men is shocking-always seem to go for bad boys,who end up hurting me. I used to be a confident person,who never took any crap from anyone,least of all a man,but then,my marriage ended in 2007 & although im the one who ended it,it completely knocked my confidence & there started a bit of a downward spiral. Ended up in a relationship with someone who knocked my confidence/self-esteem even further down,made me change my appearance & gain weight & also cut me off from friends/family-only i couldnt see it. I finally did & now have a restraining order on said person due to him stalking me after we split.
    The weight id gained,came off very quickly & since then i have lost even more & although my confidence is higher than it was,i still dont seem to be able to attract anyone,except these bad boy types. Id love nothing more than to be settled & in a relationship,but men only seem to be interested in one thing & i want more than that. So,looks like it the single life for me,forever lol
  • Siekobilly
    Siekobilly Posts: 401 Member
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    atleast u can admit it and keep from messing up someone else's feelings. have to respect that. on the other hand thats unfortunate because sharing special moments with a special person is amazing.
    I have no doubt about that. Maybe one day I'll meet someone who makes me want to stop everything for them. Until then I've got a cat that tries to kill me on a regular basis.
  • Dorianlg
    Dorianlg Posts: 71 Member
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    I have an afternoon date today, so perhaps I should think about why I am single and try not to do things that turn guys off for the next like 6 hours.
    Why I am single:
    1. I swear I never learned how to date like a normal person. I went to a high school with no dating (and I was a freak there) and then to a college where hooking up was the norm. I got my first real boyfriend, that lasted 3 months, at 24.
    2. I fell for the wrong guys who either didn't like me or didn't want relationships Over and Over and Over.
    3. I got incredibly fat. 5'10, 275 is a BIG GIRL.
    4. I get involved in relationships on the guys' terms, not mine.
    5. I still fall for immature guys who aren't ready to date/marry me. I do things like this: I met a guy, was crazy about him, dated him for a year. We broke up, kept hooking up, eventually got back together, dated another year, broke up again, kept hooking up, and now finally I have moved away. We still talk on the phone too much and maybe he'll fly here for my birthday. I have trouble being brave, letting things go, and having faith that I will meet someone else. When I meet someone I am not brave and completely myself. I cannot have faith that when I say I have these needs, that the other person will meet them and meet them without nagging/fighting constantly.

    So today, when this guy and I go to the park, I have to be nice, myself, and try really really hard not to talk too much and make stupid jokes constantly. I'm really excited he wanted to see me again (successful OKCupid meetup! AMAZING!) so I must be awesome.
  • SouthernSweetie74
    SouthernSweetie74 Posts: 844
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    I'm single, because I am insecure. I've only found one person who told me I was beautiful and liked me for me. Other than that all I ever find are guys who think I should feel honored that they talk to me and I should sleep with them.

    Oh, sweetie... I feel your pain. When I was younger, I was very insecure. I married the first man who didn't try to jump my bones the first day we met, who told me I was beautiful, and who didn't treat me like a piece of meat. Although I loved him very much and got three awesome kids out of the deal, I would never have married him had I been secure about myself. Too many problems and too much drama to get into here. And although he told me I was beautiful, he also told me I was stupid... and that no other man would ever love me... keeping me down and insecure, making me feel lucky just to have him love me...

    I've grown and learned through the years. But I would hate to see anyone else have to go through the struggles I did. You need to love yourself, believe in yourself first. When you do, and you radiate that confidence, men will automatically be attracted to you. NO, you do not need to lower yourself to sleep with the guys who are just after sex. YES, you need to realize that you are a beautiful human being with gifts and talents and strengths. Embrace those. Accept your flaws. Change the things that can be changed, improve yourself where you can. But LOVE yourself for who you are, flaws and all.

    And stay single until you are love yourself so much that you won't settle for anything less than the best for you. I'm not saying that you have to be overly picky... but you do need to be picky.

    Remember... you are awesome. You are beautiful.
  • SouthernSweetie74
    SouthernSweetie74 Posts: 844
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    I have an afternoon date today, so perhaps I should think about why I am single and try not to do things that turn guys off for the next like 6 hours.
    Why I am single:
    1. I swear I never learned how to date like a normal person. I went to a high school with no dating (and I was a freak there) and then to a college where hooking up was the norm. I got my first real boyfriend, that lasted 3 months, at 24.
    2. I fell for the wrong guys who either didn't like me or didn't want relationships Over and Over and Over.
    3. I got incredibly fat. 5'10, 275 is a BIG GIRL.
    4. I get involved in relationships on the guys' terms, not mine.
    5. I still fall for immature guys who aren't ready to date/marry me. I do things like this: I met a guy, was crazy about him, dated him for a year. We broke up, kept hooking up, eventually got back together, dated another year, broke up again, kept hooking up, and now finally I have moved away. We still talk on the phone too much and maybe he'll fly here for my birthday. I have trouble being brave, letting things go, and having faith that I will meet someone else. When I meet someone I am not brave and completely myself. I cannot have faith that when I say I have these needs, that the other person will meet them and meet them without nagging/fighting constantly.

    So today, when this guy and I go to the park, I have to be nice, myself, and try really really hard not to talk too much and make stupid jokes constantly. I'm really excited he wanted to see me again (successful OKCupid meetup! AMAZING!) so I must be awesome.

    Reflection is great! You've taken the first steps, and I think that's awesome. When we realize what we've done to contiribute to our circumstances, that is the first step to changing our circumstances. Owning our choices, owning our mistakes. Good for you. And congratulations on your date!!!! Have fun!!!
  • Randomdude99
    Randomdude99 Posts: 29
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    I have no idea :/
  • nolachick
    nolachick Posts: 3,278 Member
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    I'm single, because I am insecure. I've only found one person who told me I was beautiful and liked me for me. Other than that all I ever find are guys who think I should feel honored that they talk to me and I should sleep with them.

    Oh, sweetie... I feel your pain. When I was younger, I was very insecure. I married the first man who didn't try to jump my bones the first day we met, who told me I was beautiful, and who didn't treat me like a piece of meat. Although I loved him very much and got three awesome kids out of the deal, I would never have married him had I been secure about myself. Too many problems and too much drama to get into here. And although he told me I was beautiful, he also told me I was stupid... and that no other man would ever love me... keeping me down and insecure, making me feel lucky just to have him love me...

    I've grown and learned through the years. But I would hate to see anyone else have to go through the struggles I did. You need to love yourself, believe in yourself first. When you do, and you radiate that confidence, men will automatically be attracted to you. NO, you do not need to lower yourself to sleep with the guys who are just after sex. YES, you need to realize that you are a beautiful human being with gifts and talents and strengths. Embrace those. Accept your flaws. Change the things that can be changed, improve yourself where you can. But LOVE yourself for who you are, flaws and all.

    And stay single until you are love yourself so much that you won't settle for anything less than the best for you. I'm not saying that you have to be overly picky... but you do need to be picky.

    Remember... you are awesome. You are beautiful.
    \

    well said!

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