It`s just emotion
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if you're directing this towards me, i never said that my lack of "drama" is the reason. i said that i'm sure my way of dealing with emotions is the reason.
i am VERY, VERY giving, but i'm not emotional. it's just the way i am. and i fully accept that it can be a turn off to guys. i'd rather have sex than talk about our feelings. i'd rather have sex than talk about where a relationship is going. if i get into a fight, i don't NEED to talk it out. i mean, i can and i will, but i'd rather not and just have make up sex.
i have girlfriends for my venting and melt downs. it doesn't mean i don't mind giving my time to a guy for HIM to vent and melt down. i do and i will. however, i'd rather us have a really hot make out session. if i'm into you, you'll know. if i want you, you'll know. but, emotionally i'm not gonna open up and bare all....... at least not until i know i can trust you with my whole being. just is who i am.
but, i certainly don't blame any of that on the lack of drama i bring to the table. i know it's ME.I think it's funny to read people equating being logical and reason-based as being nondramatic and then attributing the lack of drama as being what causes potential partners to feel unwanted/unneeded. Imagine trying to date Mr. Spock from Star Trek or Leonard Hofstatter's mom (Christine Baranski's character) from Big Bang Theory. Sorry, it isn't the lack of drama that is the problem. It is the ungiving, unemotional nature that is the problem.0 -
I think it's funny to read people equating being logical and reason-based as being nondramatic and then attributing the lack of drama as being what causes potential partners to feel unwanted/unneeded. Imagine trying to date Mr. Spock from Star Trek or Leonard Hofstatter's mom (Christine Baranski's character) from Big Bang Theory. Sorry, it isn't the lack of drama that is the problem. It is the ungiving, unemotional nature that is the problem.
I am certainly not monotonous, uncaring or ungiving. I spend most of my day laughing about something, even when I'm angry or upset I usually find a way to make it fun(ny). Just because I don't like crying and I like to try and understand WHY I might feel a certain way before I try and have a calm rational discussion doesn't mean I don't care, or that I don't show that I care. Like I said, I express myself through actions more than words.
Also, like I said, I have been told specifically that it wasn't going to work because I didn't get jealous/upset over stupid things. For example, when a guy cancels a date because he has to work late - that's fine. He's working, that's awesome. Work is important, I get it. So when he says "Are you mad?" and I say "No, I'm a bit disappointed but I understand." with a smile and he thinks that it means I don't care? Pshaw.0 -
I'm not an overemotional female. In general, I try to be happy, take things in stride and find humor whenever possible. But if something really bothers me, I do tend to bottle it. I've mastered the art of non-confrontation which quite honestly, sucks. While I continually try to "fix" this about myself (had quite an impressive moment of confrontation today at work that felt fantastic!!), it can be a real problem in a relationship.
I realize that most men don't feel the need to express every emotion or every little thing that bothers them. I'm okay with that. But what I would like to have is a partner who knows that if he WANTS to share that he can do so knowing that I'm open to it and willing to listen. If its an issue between us, yes, I'd like to get it out in the open. Silence solves nothing. I would hope that to be reciprocated as well. Knowing that sometimes its hard for me to communicate certain feelings, it would help to know that he cares enough to really listen and not think I'm just being an emotional woman.
As far as the crying, I would appreciate feeling comfortable enough with each other to do that should it happen. But if you're a guy who cries and whines as part of your daily activities or over any little problem life throws your way, I won't have any respect for that. Put your big girl panties on dude!!0 -
i know i've pissed guys off because i don't get jealous. i also don't wait around for him to get his ducks in a row. if we end up NOT having definite plans and i TRY to confirm, i will make other plans. this seems to piss off some guys that feed off of drama.
i know i've said something like " that's cool, i've got other things i can do," and been replied to with " what the h3ll does that mean?!?!" as if i'm NOT supposed to have any sort of life without him, LOL!!!!!
I am certainly not monotonous, uncaring or ungiving. I spend most of my day laughing about something, even when I'm angry or upset I usually find a way to make it fun(ny). Just because I don't like crying and I like to try and understand WHY I might feel a certain way before I try and have a calm rational discussion doesn't mean I don't care, or that I don't show that I care. Like I said, I express myself through actions more than words.
Also, like I said, I have been told specifically that it wasn't going to work because I didn't get jealous/upset over stupid things. For example, when a guy cancels a date because he has to work late - that's fine. He's working, that's awesome. Work is important, I get it. So when he says "Are you mad?" and I say "No, I'm a bit disappointed but I understand." with a smile and he thinks that it means I don't care? Pshaw.0 -
i know i've pissed guys off because i don't get jealous. i also don't wait around for him to get his ducks in a row. if we end up NOT having definite plans and i TRY to confirm, i will make other plans. this seems to piss off some guys that feed off of drama.
i know i've said something like " that's cool, i've got other things i can do," and been replied to with " what the h3ll does that mean?!?!" as if i'm NOT supposed to have any sort of life without him, LOL!!!!!
I am certainly not monotonous, uncaring or ungiving. I spend most of my day laughing about something, even when I'm angry or upset I usually find a way to make it fun(ny). Just because I don't like crying and I like to try and understand WHY I might feel a certain way before I try and have a calm rational discussion doesn't mean I don't care, or that I don't show that I care. Like I said, I express myself through actions more than words.
Also, like I said, I have been told specifically that it wasn't going to work because I didn't get jealous/upset over stupid things. For example, when a guy cancels a date because he has to work late - that's fine. He's working, that's awesome. Work is important, I get it. So when he says "Are you mad?" and I say "No, I'm a bit disappointed but I understand." with a smile and he thinks that it means I don't care? Pshaw.
My least favorite question is "Aren't you mad?" because I know exactly how things are going to go after that
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it's probably more about the lack of balance: specifically the lack of having the right response in the right situation.there's a time and place for everything. certain times being ungiving and unemotional in a relationship is a positive, sometimes it's a negative.I think it's funny to read people equating being logical and reason-based as being nondramatic and then attributing the lack of drama as being what causes potential partners to feel unwanted/unneeded. Imagine trying to date Mr. Spock from Star Trek or Leonard Hofstatter's mom (Christine Baranski's character) from Big Bang Theory. Sorry, it isn't the lack of drama that is the problem. It is the ungiving, unemotional nature that is the problem.
the problem with a someone like spock wasn't that he's spock all the time, just that he's spock when you dont want him to be :laugh:0 -
this is a drama guy
we are texting, and i ask him how he feels about vampires and zombies. that was literally all i asked " how do you feel about zombies and vampires?"
he totally and completely freaked out. like over the top freaked out. he was like " where the h3ll did that come from? that's just weird!! i don't think we are compatible. i am not the guy you're looking for." all i could come up with was, "ok. i understand." but really, i didn't. not at all, LOL!!!
i just wanted to know how he felt about them. the walking dead and true blood are like two top rated shows, LOL. i mean carl here ran the zombie run. it didn't seem like such an off the wall question. to me, his whole reaction reeked of drama, LOL!!!!!!
i would guess he's the same guy that would ask me if i was mad at him because i was quiet. or if i was "done with him?" because it had been a day and he had texted last, LOL!!!!0 -
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i know i've pissed guys off because i don't get jealous. i also don't wait around for him to get his ducks in a row. if we end up NOT having definite plans and i TRY to confirm, i will make other plans. this seems to piss off some guys that feed off of drama.
i know i've said something like " that's cool, i've got other things i can do," and been replied to with " what the h3ll does that mean?!?!" as if i'm NOT supposed to have any sort of life without him, LOL!!!!!
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I've been there. But if a guy is more emotional than me, I'm out. I need a man who can help bring balance to the relationship. That doesn't mean I'm off the wall crazy, but I'm a woman. Lol.0 -
I'm still confused as to why most of you think that emotion translates to drama!! ?? :huh:
As I said, I'm emotional. But I'm not a drama queen by any stretch of the imagination. I dont get mad at guys for stupid things, dont care if he's late or chatting to another woman etc. I'm totally level headed and understanding and independent.
Like I said, a drama queen is someone that makes something out of nothing.......love this urban dictionary definition :laugh:
drama queen 652 up, 187 down
An annoying b1tch who always feels like every insignificant problem in her day is a disaster of Hurricane Katrina proportions. Anyone who so much as gives her the time of day is in for an endless session of hearing why her boyfriend is such an *kitten* or how she's fat because she can't wear size 0 jeans along with an all day crying marathon.
If you value your sanity avoid these psychic vampires like the clap or you'll never have a minute's peace.
My ex girlfriend is such a drama queen.0 -
I don`t get the guys being pissed off because a lady does not get jealous thing.
I would be annoyed if one was jealous endlessly over everything.
More and more I think I am an aberration as a guy.0 -
I'm still confused as to why most of you think that emotion translates to drama!! ?? :huh:
I see it as a syllogism. Not all emotion is drama, but all drama is emotion. The drama talk came up when we were discussing how guys SAY they don't like drama, but ditch you for not being drama.
Like I said I have emotions, I just try and keep the negative to myself until I have a bit of time to process and understand it. I have no problem being happy/excited/funny/laughing/etc.0 -
I don`t get the guys being pissed off because a lady does not get jealous thing.
I would be annoyed if one was jealous endlessly over everything.
More and more I think I am an aberration as a guy.
I'm with you Carl, I've never met a guy that appreciated a jealous partner. Maybe it's our age........:laugh:0 -
I'm still confused as to why most of you think that emotion translates to drama!! ?? :huh:
I see it as a syllogism. Not all emotion is drama, but all drama is emotion. The drama talk came up when we were discussing how guys SAY they don't like drama, but ditch you for not being drama.
Like I said I have emotions, I just try and keep the negative to myself until I have a bit of time to process and understand it. I have no problem being happy/excited/funny/laughing/etc.
Everyone has emotion. Everyone!! So yeah, I suppose everything in life is pretty much led by emotions. But the most drama I've ever seen in my life is created by people NOT out of emotion, but out of a weird/evil sense of boredom or attention. But yes, I suppose even boredom is emotional...........I get your point......:laugh:0 -
I don`t get the guys being pissed off because a lady does not get jealous thing.
I would be annoyed if one was jealous endlessly over everything.
More and more I think I am an aberration as a guy.
I'm with you Carl, I've never met a guy that appreciated a jealous partner. Maybe it's our age........:laugh:
So you're saying I should date older men!
I try but they think I'm too young.
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I like men who can deal with their emotions and not expect the woman to do all the "feeling" for them, but that doesn't mean they have to be all metro/dramatic/emo on me.
The biggest thing for me is if something bothers him does he address it (good for my personality style) or does he stuff it, ignore it, and hope it goes away (bad for me because I'll continue on like everything is ok and will likely rack up more offenses this way).
I also look for a man who does not invalidate a woman's emotions by saying things like "you're just a silly emotional woman" or "it must be that time of the month" when the real problem is he just doesn't want to fess up, deal with it, or face the issue. Sometimes it *is* that time of the month, but that doesn't mean my feelings should be dismissed.0 -
oh this totally does not put me in a good mood, LOL!
you would NEVER know when i was " on my time of the month." why? because my moods do not change. if i'm in a sour mood, it's because of something other than my period. but guys immediately go to " you must be on your period" if you're in a bad mood. gah!!!! to men i can tease with or men i don't know and will never see again i make similar comments. i will ask them if THEY are on THEIR periods if they get pissy.
it's like we can't have a bad day until we are PMSing, LOL!!!!!I also look for a man who does not invalidate a woman's emotions by saying things like "you're just a silly emotional woman" or "it must be that time of the month" when the real problem is he just doesn't want to fess up, deal with it, or face the issue. Sometimes it *is* that time of the month, but that doesn't mean my feelings should be dismissed.0 -
I will communicate why Im being irrational and oversensitive so you dont have to guess. All I expect in return is a hug and an Ok Baby, you know you're crazy right? And I'll nod and its over.0
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Emotions are emotions. Communication would be nice though. Cause if no one speaks about what's going on that's when things go wrong. I am a talker, I want to talk issues out, I find it hard to cope with people that withdraw and think all over for ages. I can cope with it, if you let me know this is what you are doing but I am getting cranky when I am being shut off without further warning and then get it in the neck weeks later for not rightly figuring out what's going on
Saying that, I can be rather emotional detached and do not have to talk about everything at once and instantly... all in all I pretty much agree with yoovie0 -
I strongly disagree that emotion and drama are in the same arena. I'm very emotional, but I avoid drama like the plague!!
Of course, you're British.
--P0 -
i think guys are so used to women being emotionally up their butts......
I have had guys stop seeing me for exactly this reason - I wasn't jealous/angry/etc enough so they didn't feel needed or appreciated. And every single one of them claimed to hate drama.
I've found myself very very interested in a man who is like this. Emotional and craves attention, when he doesn't get it he goes into a pout and gets pissy. Since this isn't me, I'm definitely pulling back.
I'm not claiming I'm any less emotional than the average person, but that doesn't mean I should find it attractive in a mate.0
