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What should I have done ..

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  • lacroyx
    lacroyx Posts: 5,754 Member
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    Wow. I have no idea how my 5 minute lunch fail turned into this .. but Carl .. I would like a divorce. That was just mean.

    Well, at least you two lasted longer than most Hollywood marriages. I think 2½ weeks?
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,370 Member
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    Wow. I have no idea how my 5 minute lunch fail turned into this .. but Carl .. I would like a divorce. That was just mean.

    Thanks to those who gave me some ways to handle the situation next time! :smooched:

    But but but you were checking out another guy!:angry:
  • lacroyx
    lacroyx Posts: 5,754 Member
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    Wow. I have no idea how my 5 minute lunch fail turned into this .. but Carl .. I would like a divorce. That was just mean.

    Thanks to those who gave me some ways to handle the situation next time! :smooched:

    But but but you were checking out another guy!:angry:

    @Carl also, weren't you entertaining an idea about moving to VA and live on another farm with another Single Peeps! member?:bigsmile:
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,370 Member
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    Wow. I have no idea how my 5 minute lunch fail turned into this .. but Carl .. I would like a divorce. That was just mean.

    Thanks to those who gave me some ways to handle the situation next time! :smooched:

    But but but you were checking out another guy!:angry:

    @Carl also, weren't you entertaining an idea about moving to VA and live on another farm with another Single Peeps! member?:bigsmile:

    Whoops:embarassed:
  • Jennifer2387
    Jennifer2387 Posts: 957 Member
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    Wow. I have no idea how my 5 minute lunch fail turned into this .. but Carl .. I would like a divorce. That was just mean.

    Thanks to those who gave me some ways to handle the situation next time! :smooched:

    But but but you were checking out another guy!:angry:

    @Carl also, weren't you entertaining an idea about moving to VA and live on another farm with another Single Peeps! member?:bigsmile:

    word.

    I reached out for help because I am so new to this being single thing and you snapped at me! And it was at me. You were responding to my post and it was mean. Therefore, you can go have a farm with miss virginia.
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,370 Member
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    Wow. I have no idea how my 5 minute lunch fail turned into this .. but Carl .. I would like a divorce. That was just mean.

    Thanks to those who gave me some ways to handle the situation next time! :smooched:

    But but but you were checking out another guy!:angry:

    @Carl also, weren't you entertaining an idea about moving to VA and live on another farm with another Single Peeps! member?:bigsmile:

    word.

    I reached out for help because I am so new to this being single thing and you snapped at me! And it was at me. You were responding to my post and it was mean. Therefore, you can go have a farm with miss virginia.
    Actually no, what struck me was all the "me too" after months of most ladies saying that they desire life to play out the way it did.
    Certainly was no intention to be hurtful or make anyone mad by pointing out the contradiction and saying that needs to be reflected on.
  • MikeM53082
    MikeM53082 Posts: 1,199 Member
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    Ok .. so at lunch I went to Jreck subs and was in line and there was a cute guy in front of me. I was kinda just checking him out a bit, his back was to me .. he turns and looks at me and does kind of a double take .. not like a hugely noticeable double take, but he looked again real quick and kinda smiled at me. I, of course, panic and look away. We are shuffling along and keeps looking at me and I keep pretending I don't notice. So then he says .. nice day huh? I can feel myself getting red and agree with him and then look at my feet. Gah. He gets his food goes over to get his drink and is like looking at me over the counter thing and smiling. I grab my food and practically hurdle the rope to get out of there.

    WTF is wrong with me?? It was obvious that he was trying to make conversation with me. He was very cute and kinda rugged. Ugh. It has been a long time since I have been single and do not know how to do this!!!

    Maybe looking at it from the guys point of view might help you.

    In his mind, he went 99% of the way and you wouldn't go 1%. He think's he did all the hard work, like send subtle flirting hints and then initiate conversation. He probably walked away from the situation thinking "What more do I have to do". Fortunately for him, if he's good looking, rugged, and not afraid to initiate small talk.. he'll definitely meet someone else quickly.

    Remember in the back of your mind.. just because you talk to him in line, you don't owe him your phone number, a date, etc etc.

    At the same time, this might be a total moot point. He might not have been interested at all. I'm naturally pleasant and make small talk while waiting in line all the time. That certainly doesn't mean I'm interested in dating the person I start small talk with.
  • Danielle_2013
    Danielle_2013 Posts: 806 Member
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    A little while ago I had to pick up a couple things at the store somewhat late one night.. I arrived at the checkout line at the same time as a reasonably cute guy. I smiled and told him to go first...he wanted me to instead. I said I had more stuff and for him to go ahead. He said that I would probably finish earlier anyway as he was bad at self checkout. We chatted about that, and then ended up next to each other at the same time. I looked over and said "let's race!"..so we did! It was fun..and he won. If he had been interested..he had every opportunity. If I was, I did too. It never went further..but it was so fun to have a flirty and unexpected interaction with someone randomly. I try to have one a day. For practice!
  • julesboots
    julesboots Posts: 311 Member
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    Carl, you need to stop being so damn nice to women. Women are like sharks.. they detect a nice guy and see how much they can get away with. If they think you'll be a doormat, they will treat you as such. There's certainly a time and place for being nice, but (sadly) women respect jerks more than the "nice guy" initially.

    At least this has been my 30 years of experience dealing with the opposite sex.

    I absolutely tried to ignore this, but REALLY?! I feel kinda sad for you that this has been your 30 yrs of experience with women. Lots of men (even your age and younger) genuinely enjoy and respect women, and that's the treatment they get in return. Sorry.
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,370 Member
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    Checking in to see if peeps wife is ready for angry make up sex yet:happy:
  • disneywm76
    disneywm76 Posts: 573 Member
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    Oh my how this discussion took some crazy turns. I think some of us have this issue because we were in long term relationships that somehow reduced our self esteem. So to be "newly" (relatively as all of us have different histories) single, it's a challenge to open up and have a discussion with a random person even though that is what we truly desire. Does that make any sense at all?
  • TheKitsune6
    TheKitsune6 Posts: 5,798 Member
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    Carl, you need to stop being so damn nice to women. Women are like sharks.. they detect a nice guy and see how much they can get away with. If they think you'll be a doormat, they will treat you as such. There's certainly a time and place for being nice, but (sadly) women respect jerks more than the "nice guy" initially.

    At least this has been my 30 years of experience dealing with the opposite sex.

    fork.gif

    Do you miss me or something? I mean, I know you mentioned I've been going easy on you, is this your way of baiting me? I haven't had a guy crush on me in this manner since grade school.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    dont blush and look down at your feet til they start flirting dirty!
  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
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    I really did mean the sentimate of the statement.
    I have a guy saying I am too nice and a lady saying I am kind of bitter( my take on it).

    Both can not be true.

    @Carl, I don't see the bitter thing, but interpretations can be different. However, I do think that you are trying to make the brain of a woman as logical as that of a man and it just doesn't work that way. Accept the fact that despite how you'd like us to think the way you do, we never will (and vice versa) and move on. Otherwise trying to decode us will eat away at you... :laugh:

    Oh an please, please, please do not listen to the advice that women don't like nice guys. That's not even close to true. :happy:

    I just thought of a non-gender specific example that might help here. If I asked you what you'd do if you won the lottery, you could probably list off a few things. But, say one night you're sitting at home with your Powerball ticket and you see on the news that you got all the numbers and won millions of dollars. Do you think your initial reaction would be the same as the fantasy? Probably not. Most likely you'd be in complete shock, dead silent, possibly checking and re-checking the numbers before your brain could really process that you won. I think that might be a good way to understand the difference that women feel about fantasy vs. reality in meeting unexpectedly.
  • flimflamfloz
    flimflamfloz Posts: 1,980 Member
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    I just thought of a non-gender specific example that might help here. If I asked you what you'd do if you won the lottery, you could probably list off a few things. But, say one night you're sitting at home with your Powerball ticket and you see on the news that you got all the numbers and won millions of dollars. Do you think your initial reaction would be the same as the fantasy? Probably not. Most likely you'd be in complete shock, dead silent, possibly checking and re-checking the numbers before your brain could really process that you won. I think that might be a good way to understand the difference that women feel about fantasy vs. reality in meeting unexpectedly.
    I feel this must be true. If I find a woman that I deem worthy of my attention, she just hit the jackpot.
    I'll take 18 holes of golf over dating any day.
    I'll still take scoring 18 holes in dating over scoring 18 holes in golf though.
    If you're successful and not too bothered about it, dating is fun.
    How many women do you start randomly talking to, with a flirtatious tone, in your average lunch/coffee line, unless you already see them in "a different light" or think they have nice eyes/breasts/hair/etc ? Hmmmmm?
    When I'm walking in the street, on a mission, I'm probably more upset at the thought of interacting with people than pleased... Strangely, I've never felt the need to hit on a girl in this case either, since it seems so out of context to me.
  • castadiva
    castadiva Posts: 2,016 Member
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    I really did mean the sentimate of the statement.
    I have a guy saying I am too nice and a lady saying I am kind of bitter( my take on it).

    Both can not be true.

    @Carl, I don't see the bitter thing, but interpretations can be different. However, I do think that you are trying to make the brain of a woman as logical as that of a man and it just doesn't work that way. Accept the fact that despite how you'd like us to think the way you do, we never will (and vice versa) and move on. Otherwise trying to decode us will eat away at you... :laugh:

    Oh an please, please, please do not listen to the advice that women don't like nice guys. That's not even close to true. :happy:

    I just thought of a non-gender specific example that might help here. If I asked you what you'd do if you won the lottery, you could probably list off a few things. But, say one night you're sitting at home with your Powerball ticket and you see on the news that you got all the numbers and won millions of dollars. Do you think your initial reaction would be the same as the fantasy? Probably not. Most likely you'd be in complete shock, dead silent, possibly checking and re-checking the numbers before your brain could really process that you won. I think that might be a good way to understand the difference that women feel about fantasy vs. reality in meeting unexpectedly.

    Good example. Carl, I didn't mean bitter, just rather inclined, at times, to view women and their motives through the opposite of rose-tinted glasses. We're mostly quite nice - honest - and we mostly don't judge men to be 'weak' as easily as you think we do. It's all shades of grey (way more than 50! :wink: ) for (most of) us, most of the time, rather than black and white. :flowerforyou:

    I'm off for the weekend - have fun, all!
  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
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    I just thought of a non-gender specific example that might help here. If I asked you what you'd do if you won the lottery, you could probably list off a few things. But, say one night you're sitting at home with your Powerball ticket and you see on the news that you got all the numbers and won millions of dollars. Do you think your initial reaction would be the same as the fantasy? Probably not. Most likely you'd be in complete shock, dead silent, possibly checking and re-checking the numbers before your brain could really process that you won. I think that might be a good way to understand the difference that women feel about fantasy vs. reality in meeting unexpectedly.
    I feel this must be true. If I find a woman that I deem worthy of my attention, she just hit the jackpot.

    We should all be so lucky :wink:
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    Carl, you need to stop being so damn nice to women. Women are like sharks.. they detect a nice guy and see how much they can get away with. If they think you'll be a doormat, they will treat you as such. There's certainly a time and place for being nice, but (sadly) women respect jerks more than the "nice guy" initially.

    At least this has been my 30 years of experience dealing with the opposite sex.
    This also makes me shake my head and think what the??

    Oh well,another day of golf awaits. :drinker:

    Im starting to get confused as to what is considered insensitive talk on this forum, being that if I said that about guys - yall would remove me from the group, but they say these things about girls, which are hurtful and demeaning, and yall shake your heads and play golf.
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,370 Member
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    Carl, you need to stop being so damn nice to women. Women are like sharks.. they detect a nice guy and see how much they can get away with. If they think you'll be a doormat, they will treat you as such. There's certainly a time and place for being nice, but (sadly) women respect jerks more than the "nice guy" initially.

    At least this has been my 30 years of experience dealing with the opposite sex.
    This also makes me shake my head and think what the??

    Oh well,another day of golf awaits. :drinker:

    Im starting to get confusied as to what is considered insensitive talk on this forum, being that if I said that about guys - yall would remove me from the group, but they say these things about girls, which are hurtful and demeaning, and yall shake your heads and play golf.

    That is completely false and there have been more then a few unflattering comments directed at guys over the last year.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    Carl, you need to stop being so damn nice to women. Women are like sharks.. they detect a nice guy and see how much they can get away with. If they think you'll be a doormat, they will treat you as such. There's certainly a time and place for being nice, but (sadly) women respect jerks more than the "nice guy" initially.

    At least this has been my 30 years of experience dealing with the opposite sex.
    This also makes me shake my head and think what the??

    Oh well,another day of golf awaits. :drinker:

    Im starting to get confusied as to what is considered insensitive talk on this forum, being that if I said that about guys - yall would remove me from the group, but they say these things about girls, which are hurtful and demeaning, and yall shake your heads and play golf.

    That is completely false and there have been more then a few unflattering comments directed at guys over the last year.

    alright

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