what do you do when
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Just speaking from experience....
I have noticed when I do the hanging out at each others places early on, I turn into hang out girl or vice versa instead of take out on dates girl. I will wait until 3rd date to go to a guys house and only if it's because he specifically invited me over for dinner, not to just hang out.
I know kids might make it harder but this has been my personal experience.0 -
yeah, i don't want to be the "hang out girl." LOL!!
we both really wanted to see one another since it had been almost a week. we did have two dates before that where we went out. it would have been a whole nother week if he hadn't come over. during the week, when i'm kid free he has his kids. so, every other weekend would have been it. and while i would be ok with that, it appears most guys don't want to wait 2 weeks between dates :-)
he ended up texting me just now. that he fell asleep earlier and just woke up. basically saying he slept for the past 7 hrs........ not to mention i saw he was ONLINE on match.com, LOL!!!! apparently i must look like an idiot :-/0 -
I wouldn't contact them. I would just figure they didn't want to talk to me and move on.
ETA - I might be very curious as to why, but I wouldn't ask them why or beg for them back.0 -
yeah, i don't want to be the "hang out girl." LOL!!
we both really wanted to see one another since it had been almost a week. we did have two dates before that where we went out. it would have been a whole nother week if he hadn't come over. during the week, when i'm kid free he has his kids. so, every other weekend would have been it. and while i would be ok with that, it appears most guys don't want to wait 2 weeks between dates :-)
he ended up texting me just now. that he fell asleep earlier and just woke up. basically saying he slept for the past 7 hrs........ not to mention i saw he was ONLINE on match.com, LOL!!!! apparently i must look like an idiot :-/
He completely sucks .It's one thing to blow somebody off because you don't have the balls to tell express that your feelings have changed, but it's another to try to effing lie and string somebody along as an option. Gross- hate him for you.
Also, sleep is one of my biggest pet peeves are far as excuses. Even if you didn't know he was online, it would still be a very lame excuse.0 -
I think of the beginning part of talking to someone knew as a time when I'm seeing if they'll be able to be what I'm looking for. Part of what I'm looking for is a reasonable reply time and signs that he wants to talk to me more. If that doesn't happen, I walk away. I don't really know what you mean by blow off, but I will easily walk away from something if I don't think it's what I want.0
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I always give the benefit of the doubt. People aren't robots, they *kitten* up pretty regularly!! Life would be sooooo boring if everyone was perfect and did exactly what you wanted them to do !! :flowerforyou:0
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someone blows you off?
do you just move on or do you contact them?
do you feel better if you do one vs. the other?
if that person contacts you again afterwards do you talk to them?
i'm curious. :-) i don't have any single friends in real life that i can ask these kinds of questions.
thanks!
You know if you contact them (either phone call or text) and they don't return your message in 24 hours. I don't care how busy you are, everyone has 10 seconds to text someone back.
If they blow you off, don't bother contacting them, you'll just pester them and make yourself look silly.
If he contacts *you* after he blows *you* off initially, it's totally up to you. No one should give you a specific yes or no answer here, it all depends on how you feel about him.
I agree with this and no second chances are given.0 -
I enjoy your threads! Thanks!
You're not that invested which definitely helps with making a clear decision to try again or keep moving. I am seeing someone now too and he's on the online dating site everyday! However, he calls me every night and we see eachother every weekend! Don't get it... :-/ It's been 2 months. Avoid that if you can... I'm still trying to figure things out.0 -
someone blows you off?
I used to let it get to me if someone blew me off, but now I consider it his loss.
do you just move on or do you contact them?
If it was a man I felt a good connection with, I would contact him one more time. But, other than that, I move on.
do you feel better if you do one vs. the other?
No, I used to let it get me down, but I've realized there are bigger things to worry about and that relationships shouldn't be forced.
if that person contacts you again afterwards do you talk to them?
This has happened quite a few times....where a guy has dropped off the planet for a couple weeks and then sends a text. If he's someone that I'd be interested in keeping as a friend, I'll send him a friendly text in reply, but nothing flirty. If he attempts to start flirtiing again, I'll play it by ear.0 -
have you ever asked someone why they pulled a houdini?
i always wonder what i did or said or didn't do or didn't say, but i've never asked. i often wonder what would happen if i did........
Yep - if I feel like I might get an answer, then I'll ask, I usually ask them what they didn't like, not that I'm going to necessarily change that for them, but just out of pure curiosity.
I love the ones that try to turn it around on me and say...."You stopped talking". When it feels like they have stopped talking to me I send one last message that says something like "hey, I sense some distance between us, is this something you'd like to discuss?"
If they don't respond then I get the hint - they aren't worth my time. ha ha ha0 -
I enjoy your threads! Thanks!
THANK YOU!! i am so scatterbrained that half the time i'm sure i'm not making any sense. i tend to type like i would talk, and sometimes the conversation in my head just does not flow well to my finger and computer screen ;-)You're not that invested which definitely helps with making a clear decision to try again or keep moving. I am seeing someone now too and he's on the online dating site everyday! However, he calls me every night and we see eachother every weekend! Don't get it... :-/ It's been 2 months. Avoid that if you can... I'm still trying to figure things out.
i can't say i get it either.
we just such a visual, instant gratification society.........0 -
according to john grey, the mars/ venus guy, THIS is what we are supposed to do ( as women).
be polite and friendly if they disappear for a while. that if he comes back, even if it's weeks later, it's a good sign!
that men are like rubberbands. they NEED to pull away in order to spring back and get close. and before they find someone to settle down with, they need to be able to do this several times. to make sure they CAN pull away, and to learn that they miss the person enough to spring back!!!!
but, i am thinking that standing someone up, is not really the same as " the houdini" .............. maybe i'm wrong though. i dunno :-)
if that person contacts you again afterwards do you talk to them?
This has happened quite a few times....where a guy has dropped off the planet for a couple weeks and then sends a text. If he's someone that I'd be interested in keeping as a friend, I'll send him a friendly text in reply, but nothing flirty. If he attempts to start flirtiing again, I'll play it by ear.0 -
according to john grey, the mars/ venus guy, THIS is what we are supposed to do ( as women).
be polite and friendly if they disappear for a while. that if he comes back, even if it's weeks later, it's a good sign!
that men are like rubberbands. they NEED to pull away in order to spring back and get close. and before they find someone to settle down with, they need to be able to do this several times. to make sure they CAN pull away, and to learn that they miss the person enough to spring back!!!!
but, i am thinking that standing someone up, is not really the same as " the houdini" .............. maybe i'm wrong though. i dunno :-)
You know, that's really interesting. The cowboy I'm seeing now did this. Just all of a sudden....poof. I wrote him off thinking ok, whatever. Then out of nowhere, he starts contacting me again. Said he got super busy with work. Ok, I can handle that. I'll just wait and see what happens next!
if that person contacts you again afterwards do you talk to them?
This has happened quite a few times....where a guy has dropped off the planet for a couple weeks and then sends a text. If he's someone that I'd be interested in keeping as a friend, I'll send him a friendly text in reply, but nothing flirty. If he attempts to start flirtiing again, I'll play it by ear.0 -
I usually don't care. There are several people that have poofed on me and honestly I can't really name them - I just have a vague memory of being aware that I was poofed on and then moving on to the next guy.
I don't understand why people dwell so much, or need to know "why". I always just figure he didn't like something about me, and I don't care enough to try and change for a stranger danger anyway. Meh.0 -
I don't know, I'm kinda with Anna .. not everyone is perfect. You aren't dating exclusively, so in theory he doesn't owe you anything. If you really like them, give them another chance. If you were iffy to begin with, don't.
Most people won't be honest anyway if you ask them.
I wish that some people would be more flexible and realize the world doesn't revolve around them and only them .. not that I am saying you think that .. but people have *kitten* going on in their lives and need some understanding. Some people are straight up liars. You have to decide if that person is worth you trying to find out which it is. shrugs.0 -
someone blows you off?
do you just move on or do you contact them?
do you feel better if you do one vs. the other?
if that person contacts you again afterwards do you talk to them?
i'm curious. :-) i don't have any single friends in real life that i can ask these kinds of questions.
thanks!
I'll usually throw one mesg their way asking if I did or said something to offend them. But if they continue to ignore me, I'm not about to chase someone who doesn't want to talk to me, no matter how much it might hurt. And it does sometimes!
If they contact me after a time, yes, I talk to them. I'm a softy that way, and once someone is in my life, I want them to stay there-for the most part. I care about them as people and want to know what they are up to.0
