trying to be polite
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Their comments have more to do with them. Maybe they've gained and feel badly about themselves?
Wow, I totally understand everybody's point of view here! I'm also trying to lose some weight just to be healthier and, well, all the reasons you already know, but I'm just doing it by eating healthier, controlling my portions and exercising... Well, it seems like I can't say anything about it! I've seen people making fun of my diet food or telling me it doesn't look yummy. How many times I've heard come on! You don't need to lose any weight! Well, first of all, I'm not saying I need to or I'll die! I'm saying I want to reduce my body fat! And I don't really care if they think my food is tasty or not because I'm the one eating it and I really like it!
It's also hard to talk about your food or exercise with a heavier person because then they feel like you're telling them fat and that they are not "good" as they are. Well, guess what: we are not telling them they should do as we do! We are telling them about ourself! But I have to add this is not only about weight. I've told people things like "I'm going to the ballet tonight" or "I'm going to take this course" and received answers like really? Well, I don't like ballet, it's too boring, or I think running is boring or studying is boring. Well, then again: I'm sharing! I'm not telling them to do the same thing!!! I mean, is it so hard to be polite and think that we don't all like the same things?0 -
Thank yo everyone. It gets very frustrating sometimes. I will join in on an exercising conversation only to get made fun of. Just kind of upseting.0
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This has been a big part of my struggle over the years. I've never been overweight, though I'm also not at my ideal weight. In the past I've let it discourage me and change my mindset. It can be hard to hear that you don't need to lose weight when technically you don't..and to stay strong and keep trudging on through the cravings! I really turned to MFP for that reason. I can hold myself accountable here so I don't need to rely on my friends and family in my day to day life who may not hold me accountable and may try to convince me to abandon my goals!
Good luck!0 -
this topic lets me know that I have joined the right group. I get this from my friends quite a bit, and it angers me like no-one's business!!!:mad:
I've decided that a nasty comment will get a nasty response. If they're going to hate on my healthy options, I'll make sure to tell them why I'm not eating theirs. Two to tango, and I don't mind stepping on toes at this point!!!! Your strength and ability to take control & responsibilty for your actions is either going to inspire them or make them feel guilty...just make sure it always EMPOWERS you to keep doing the right thing for yourself.
p.s. man...that felt good!:bigsmile:0 -
As someone who used to be larger (I was about 200 lbs), I can tell you that some of it is probably jealousy and inability to empathize with your position. When you are larger and unhappy with yourself, you are constantly wishing to have the body of anyone smaller than you. So to hear someone thinner express any kind of unhappiness with their body seems ridiculous.
I also think that all the attention that eating disorders get in the media has produced some negative results. Whenever anyone who isn't overweight talks about wanting to lose more weight, a lot of people automatically jump to the conclusion that anorexia is involved.
Whatever your weight is, and regardless of whether you are gaining or losing, some people will always criticize you for it. Just ignore it and move on. If you feel that you must say something, politely tell them that you don't like having your lifestyle choices criticized.0 -
I completely get this. The amount of times I get "oh please like eating a whole pizza would do you any harm" or "if anyone doesn't need to watch what they eat its you"... how about I look the way I do because I watch what I eat and don't eat whole pizzas every night?
So now I am signed up for a sponsored bike ride and a 10k and I just tell people I am trying to get fitter and get my 5-a-day and that my goals are fitness and strength when actually my goals are still to lose 5lbs, drop a dress size and tone up all the flabby bits.
At the end of the day it all stems from jealousy, I either take their comments as a compliment or I don't bring it up.0 -
I am surrounded by heavier people. When I tell them I am trying to loose weight I get made fun of. I am 5 7 140 lbs. This is the most I have ever weighed. I dont know how to handle the negative comments. I just try to smile and let it go but it makes me mad and upset. Im asking for advice on how to handle this? I am also looking for people to help motivate me. Thanks
Like a lot of people have said, try saying you are trying to be healthier. If you could be part of a team (sports or any other), you can also say you need to for top performance, but frankly, you might need to for top performance as a person anyways, so you can tell them that. I am not considered fat, am in the normal weight for my height, and have a lot of muscle, but like you, I would feel (and look) better at a lower weight,
Also, I wouldn't feel the need to explain yourself to everyone. I just try to eat healthier, and I am on a sports team, so I go to practice and get a workout that way, so that is not a problem, but I do not tell people I am trying to lose weight, or on a diet.
Good luck!0 -
It's all psychological, for both parties. I'm sure there's jealousy involved, but mostly the fatter or unhealthy person sees in you their shortcomings. A truly mouthy person is just showing how unhappy they are with their food and lifestyle choices. You can't make personal choices based on the vision in someone else's head of what a fit person looks/feels like. No one is in your body except you and it is your temple to care for and make radiant. You can easily turn the conversation on them and with some kind words, you may be able to get them to look into the mirror and find some motivation to better themselves. I like to tell them all the healthy improvements I have gained and they open up and really get interested. But, I would suggest only having this conversation if you have the time, lol!
Just the other night I told my mom I lost 5 pounds on this new eating lifestyle and she did the usual, "you don't need to lose weight!" I giggled and said, "I'm not losing just any weight, I'm losing body fat and I know I need it when my jeans are too snug." There are very few people I discuss it with for all the reasons already discussed.0 -
It's not even me bringing it up in conversation. Its everything I eat do what not. When I go out to eat with coworkers they make fun of when I go to the bathroom. (I work in EMS so a food stop means potty break also) For example I go before food Im going in there to take laxitives. I go during or after Im puking. No I do not have an ED nor a history of one. I order a salad I get made fun of (I do not like meat) That has been very well known to everyone. They will shove the hunk of meat in front of me and tell me I need to eat that and gain 50 more lbs. Or else they will chew the fat with their mouth open mocking me. I blow it off hoping that if you ignore it, it will go away but has not happened yet. Or friends will comment on my body type. I was a stick now a flabby sick. I get the "Ya know if you gained about 50lbs you will get some curves" I have gained 35 it just goes straight to my butt. I maybe skinny but I have jiggly butt muffin top and cottage cheese thighs. All signs that my once awesome stick body is out of shape and needs some overhauling. So I guess I am being bullied by heavy people. I do not even make one comment about their weights eating habits or lifestyle choices. But yet I have to tiptoe around the dreaded weight conversations because they will take offense to anything I say.0
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Hi Mandy, I'm new here. I am so glad you brought up this topic because I am SO bothered when people tell me I don't need to lose weight. They don't see what I see. They don't see me stark naked, sideways, with a pregnant-looking belly hanging down. They only see me with clothes on and my gut sucked in. Yes, I am thinner than most of my friends. That isn't my problem. That is THEIRS. Fact is, I was born with pretty good genetics that made me really, really skinny up until I hit about 37 years old, then I started gaining some weight. I used to hear things like, "Ewwwww, you're SOOOOO skinny!" It was like I had to defend myself! I mean, what if I said, "Ewwwwww, you're SOOOOOOO fat!" It's the same thing: making a comment on someone else's weight. It's rude and crass.
I weighed 125 last summer and felt great in a bikini. I've gained 15 pounds since then and I wanted to get back to 125. But even when I do, it's not like I can enjoy the beach with my friends. They won't go to the beach with me. Not when I look "better" than they do. It's really ridiculous when I have to feel responsible for their feelings about how much they weigh. Hell, I am working my *kitten* off right now - eating foods I never dreamed I would eat - just to be healthy and fit FOR LIFE. If they don't want to put in the work, then I can't help them.
But yes, it does suck when we have to defend ourselves for simply being...ourselves.0 -
Its a shame that skinny people are made fun of just as much as heavy people. I just wish people were not so judgemental. You are skinny and want to loose weight you have an eating disorder s No one sees it as just trying to make lifestyle choices to be healthy fit toned or a better you.0
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Amen!0
