I'm working through one of the lowest points of my life. On October 26th my girlfriend broke up with me because she wants to find someone that hasn't already been married and doesn't already have children. We were together for almost a year and the relationship seemed like it was great. Apparently she had been struggling with this all along, though.

The same thing happened to me a couple of years ago with the last previous relationship I was in and I was with that woman for about a year and a half. This time, though, I am far more devastated. Really bad timing with the holidays because I'd spent the previous two Christmas days alone (my sons spend the weekend before Christmas with me and Christmas day with their mother) so this was the third Christmas day in a row I was alone, right after really looking forward to having someone to spend it with. We met each other at a New Year's party and now New Year's is coming up in a few days. My birthday is then January 4th so another reminder that I'm getting older and still alone.

Work was also adding to my low point. A week after she broke up with me I also found out that my contract at work was ending due to a budget cut. So all of November I was stressed out about that as well. Luckily another department picked me up to help run their contract and I wasn't financially impacted but it was just a whole lot of stress thrown on me at the wrong time as I worked through November and tried to cope with being discarded again.

What I've been doing since she broke up with me is trying to focus on improving myself to make myself happier and to be a better role model for my sons. I should be able to get under 200 pounds by January first (crossing my fingers) and that will make me feel great. I'll still have a long way to go to get to my goal of 160 pounds, but I'm going to get there. I was also sent to a leadership course through work that is presented by an outside company that develops professional talent. The course took three months to complete but I won two awards in that class for my presentations. One award was given by the instructor and the other was voted on by my peers. I gained a lot from the course and the awards really helped build my confidence back up.

So that's my story from the last few months as I work through this low point.

Thank you for the encouragement. It felt good putting that all out there.

I had a few highs this week, I got back on the elliptical trainer after being away for over 7 months and I am back up to 12 minutes. It may not seem like alot to some people but when you are heavy like me, it's really takes it out of you!!

Also, I went to the gym 3 times last week and I walked on the treadmill 30 minutes at home today.

It feels good to start being active again and remember what I've been missing. I went to the grocery store and was able to walk the whole time and didn't have to sit.

All these small NSV are really adding up and keeping me going.

Thanks to everyone who has shared their highs and lows right now, I am sure I will have lows and it really helps to know there is a place I can come to and get it out. Good luck all on your journeys and if you want a supportive friend, please add me

Im about to have a low real quick if I don't post this just to see my words. It's late and I made some cookies for the wife, she has been up studying. I have been doing very well this week and I just knew if I didn't say something to someone, I would have a big glass of milk and a few myself. I feel better and I am about to do the p90X cardio just to burn a few more calories before I go to bed.

Hope you guys don't mind the dumb message, but it really helps when you can see your own words before you do something.

Scale said 189.5 this morning - that's the lowest I've been since I started this whole thing! Woot!

My high this week is that I completed my 5mile run in under 1 hour, for the first time since my knee injury! I completed the couch to 5k program before Thanksgiving, but then tried to run too much over the holiday, and ended up with a very sore right leg and knee. I had to stop running for a few weeks, and slowly build back up to it. (I guess that would have been my low). Saturday was my first 5 mile run since then!

I'm really frustrated with myself right now. I know what I need to do. I just keep making poor decisions - I *know* junk food will make me feel like junk. I *know* that the more fruit and veg I eat, the better I will feel and the more weight I will lose. But at work, it has just been too easy to get mac and cheese or fried chicken tenders for lunch. I work at a grocery store for goodness sake, I can get a salad or sushi just as easily.

I feel like I am fighting with myself and beating my head against a wall every single day, and it is exhausting. I'm going to head out for a nice long walk after I finish my coffee. Hopefully that will help to clear my head.

I'm really frustrated with myself right now. I know what I need to do. I just keep making poor decisions - I *know* junk food will make me feel like junk. I *know* that the more fruit and veg I eat, the better I will feel and the more weight I will lose. But at work, it has just been too easy to get mac and cheese or fried chicken tenders for lunch. I work at a grocery store for goodness sake, I can get a salad or sushi just as easily.

I feel like I am fighting with myself and beating my head against a wall every single day, and it is exhausting. I'm going to head out for a nice long walk after I finish my coffee. Hopefully that will help to clear my head.

((HUGS)) Sorry you're so frustrated! I know I struggle at work sometimes too.. I work in a small town and the only options to eat are Mexican, mexican, mexican/american buffett, burger joint grease pit, sonic grease pit, and a subway... Needless to say subway is NOT an everyday meal... I try to plan myself out meals for lunch at work for the week... Over the weekend I will buy enough meals to get through the work week and then monday take them with me. Maybe you can go an keep a pocket calendar with you and your days you work that week go and write down what you are going to eat. Prepare yourself a menu. maybe that will help...