I guess I'm semi-crunchy. I'm American but live in the UK where un-medicated midwife-led births are the norm. I had a drug free hospital birth with my first and it's given me the confidence to go for a homebirth this time. I'm so excited about it! I have to inject with blood thinners unti 34 weeks but have been told it's fine to give birth at home as they will be out of my system by labour time. I'm going to have a birthing pool in our conservatory. I exclusively breastfed my daughter and fed her to 18 months and did baby led weaning with her and used cloth nappies, and also co-slept the first 3 months. Planning to keep things the same this time. Hope everyone gets the birthing experience they want and deserve!

Yay, a new topic for discussion: co-sleeping.

How did co-sleeping work out for you? Was she just in the bed with you or did you have something else? I feel like I remember my SIL mentioning something that clips onto the bed so that the kid is RIGHT THERE without being in the bed.

I feel like I would get nervous having a newborn in our bed but we definitely plan to have her very close by

Firstly: Here is a link to some guidelines on safe co-sleeping. It is stated here and agreed by our health visitor that infant co-sleeping is considered safest where there is a breatfeeding relationship between the mother and baby.

http://cosleeping.nd.edu/safe-co-sleeping-guidelines/

I never intended to co-sleep. But we lived in a very drafty 17th century cottage in England and out daughter was born December 21. We tried really hard to get her warm in the Moses basket but it was freezing! Also my daughter fed every 45 minutes for a half an hour for about the first 3 months (I'm not even exaggerating!) and it became the only way I could sleep. I didn't have a nest or anything like that because the whole point was that my daughter could latch on and off without waking me so she slept with my arm wrapped around her. This also stopped any risk that my husband or myself could roll onto her. It did make my husband nervous, so I slept in the middle with her on the side, but with my arm around her so that she couldn't fall out. I do think co-sleeping was one of the reasons I was successful breastfeeding, It keep supply up and I was never exhausted or felt resentful that I had to sit awake half the night feeding while my husband could sleep. I also worried she wouldn't ever be able to fall asleep on her own but by the time she was a year old she was in a cot and could independently fall asleep. She has never been much of a sleeper and that would have been the same regardless of where she slept as a baby. At 4, she is a very independent and happy girl who rarely ends up in bed with us in the middle of the night. We really value our time together as a couple at night but giving that up for 3 months was something we were willing to do to make sure breastfeeding worked out well and that I got enough rest.

If you are interested in co-sleeping look up all the safety guidelines and be sure you are happy with them all. I never drink or take medications that might make me sleep deeply and I never co-sleep on a sofa or in a bed against a wall. I guess one has to keep in mind that for most of human history babies slept with mum and were perfectly safe, babies alone in a crib on their own is a fairly modern invention. That said with this baby due in July, (when it is warmer) I am hoping he/she won't feed as much as my daughter and that they will be happy in a moses basket for the first three months. Mostly because it would make my husband less nervous. But if we do end up co-sleeping again, that's okay with me too.,

Baby #2 coming soon. Currently 35 weeks. My DS is 21 months. Had a hospital birth but had an epidural. Having a hospital birth this time (regretting not getting a midwife this time though...) and going to try and avoid any drugs if possible. I breastfed DS until he was about 16ish months as my milk started to dry up and pregnacy hormones were just not making me happy to BF any longer. Hoping to make it to 2yrs with 2nd baby as i dont plan on getting pregnant again We did baby-led weaning/baby led solids and skipped puree food all together (highly recommend)!, cosleeping, babywearing. I'd like to say im in the middle somewhat crunchy lol

For those of you that select/delay vaccination

Can anyone give me some advice on which vaccinations you went with? How old your babies were? Etc.

My doctor wants to start shots at 2months, I don't feel comfortable.

I have no experience as I'm pregnant with my first, but I've checked out several different vaccination schedules and still am not sure what I am going to go with. I'm leaning toward Dr. Sears' with maybe some modifications of my own. I'm definitely not giving my son the Hep B vaccine in the hospital.

I think it's so sad that we have to worry about being pushy and saying no just to get births that follow evidence based best practice. Even here in the UK, where my hospital birth was midwife led and drug free, I was still coherced into giving birth on my back so they could continually monitor baby's heartbeat for no good reason. The pain was much worse on my back. Thankfully I wasn't at the hospital long before having her but had I been older or more experienced I would have said no and done whatever i wanted to. Like I will during my homebirth this time.

Does anyone have experience of tearing and refusing stiches? I had a second degree tear last time, mostly due to the fact that no one was in the room when I actually had her. So I pushed her out without anyone applying counterpressure or guiding me into breathing the head out rather than pushing it out. I didn't want stitches and the midwife was really rude and make a big deal about it saying my uterus would fall out if I didn't have them. I finally agreed and she messed them up so badly I had to have loads of raw skin lasered off 5 months later. That whole 5 months it burned when I used the toilet and I wouldn't let my husband anywhere near me. So I'm pretty scared of a repeat this time. I'm birthing in water this time, so hoping that helps? But considering refusing the stitches if I tear again. Any thoughts?

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I have never heard of refusing stitches... even though you had a bad experience, if needed, I would still get stitches with tearing.. to me it would be like cutting your finger badly and sticking a band- aid on it instead of getting stitches. The stitches aid in the healing of the tear. Have you considered a water birth? The chances of tearing are less in the water, you can also do pernieal massage to help stretch the tissue and try birthing in a different position. I had tearing with my first baby and found out that I don't dissolve sutures, so I need to have mine removed post- partum anyway. Luckily, I didn't tear with my second or third.
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I've read a bit on it, and it sounds like unless you get a 3rd or 4th degree tear, your chances of healing fine without stitches are pretty good. I honestly thought the pain of the stitches was much worse than the birth. It takes a long time for anasthetic to work on me, and despite telling the midwife this she went ahead anyway and I was jumping all over the bed while she tried to stitch me up. Honestly the agony I was in for 5 months afterwards plus the later lasering off of the skin couldn't be worse than anything that could happen had I refused. I know quite a few people with similar situations who had to be recut and restitched after 6 months-year because the stitches weren't done well and didn't heal correctly. I am doing a water birth this time, with that in mind and hoping it will help. I will also be doing perineal massage, although from what I've read its success in reduction of tearing is only about 6%. What positions would be best? I was flat on my back last time but will be in a birthing pool this time. Seriously considering refusing should I get a 1st or 2nd degree tear.

@emily:

i'm only going on gut feeling about human nature, here, but i think that a conventional doc who questions your birth plan will be even more likely to question that during the birth (or maybe be even more likely to be controlling of your birth because he is 'the expert'). it just seems that most of the negative stories i hear have to do with so-called emergency situations during birth and the physicians really have a way of scaring women into doing the thing that is easiest and least time-consuming for the doc.

i've chosen a midwife for my first birth because i know i'm anxious and will be prone to being agreeable with 'the expert' in the moment. i didn't totally understand your scenario but i have the impression that by definition, midwives are automatically all more open to alternate birthing positions and more accepting of the fact that birth TAKES TIME (something docs don't allow for and don't want to because time=money).