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Not ready for a relationship either because I want to work on the things that contributed to my marriage failing and to not repeat the same thing again.
Good for you. I spent time doing this after I broke up with my kid's dad 2 years ago. I also spend time after each relationship since doing the same. I am really learning alot about myself and setting up good boundaries, etc. Nothing but good can come from it, when you want to learn and grow
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Not ready for a relationship either because I want to work on the things that contributed to my marriage failing and to not repeat the same thing again.
Good for you. I spent time doing this after I broke up with my kid's dad 2 years ago. I also spend time after each relationship since doing the same. I am really learning alot about myself and setting up good boundaries, etc. Nothing but good can come from it, when you want to learn and grow
I have to say it isn't easy in many ways. I am used to being with someone. I was married for 16 years. But after watching several of my friends divorice and rushing into relationships, I decided it was best to learn from their mistakes. I like the idea of the website you mentioned about meeting people. Sounds neat! Thanks for sharing!0 -
Single. Not particularly looking. I thought about trying an online dating site but it seems like the overall concession in Single Peeps is stay away. It seems like 90% of my friends are married with 50% of them wanting to intruduce me to friends, co-workers, sisters etc. which keeps my social life intresting.
that is awesome that they are trying to set you up. I wish I had some friends who had single male friends
Me too! I have too many single friends that are looking also plus all my married friends have mostly married friends. So I'm not getting any help there. :sad:0 -
Not ready for a relationship either because I want to work on the things that contributed to my marriage failing and to not repeat the same thing again.
Good for you. I spent time doing this after I broke up with my kid's dad 2 years ago. I also spend time after each relationship since doing the same. I am really learning alot about myself and setting up good boundaries, etc. Nothing but good can come from it, when you want to learn and grow
I have to say it isn't easy in many ways. I am used to being with someone. I was married for 16 years. But after watching several of my friends divorice and rushing into relationships, I decided it was best to learn from their mistakes. I like the idea of the website you mentioned about meeting people. Sounds neat! Thanks for sharing!
I understand, I wasn't single for 12 years - so not single for all my 20's - and I had no idea how to be alone. But I have my kids and I got into MFP and exercise and have created a nice little life for us. I VALUE my personal time now and won't give it up.
It is good to be able to learn from your friend's mistakes but you may make your own too... those are good ones to learn from. I am learning ALOT... I have read alot of books about relationships and dating, and the like. Good luck0 -
Casually seeing someone as a friend. It is a nice arrangement.
Have no intentions of relationships anytime soon.
guys: i dont get this...why keep seeing someone as just a friend? it feels like such a waste of time for me if you like someone and they aren't ready for a relationship to be just "friends"
not to be confused with i can't have friends that are guys (that I don't like)
ETA: and I definitely won't be a FWB0 -
I am encountering two types of guys: those looking for hookups only and those that have been so hurt they only want to be friends (sometimes FWB but still no relationships). Where are the guys that are actually wanting to date and have relationships?
This.
thought it was just me. i don't do FWB tho.0 -
Casually seeing someone as a friend. It is a nice arrangement.
Have no intentions of relationships anytime soon.
guys: i dont get this...why keep seeing someone as just a friend? it feels like such a waste of time for me if you like someone and they aren't ready for a relationship to be just "friends"
not to be confused with i can't have friends that are guys (that I don't like)
A lot of guys will see someone as a friend because they just enjoy spending time with them, just like they might another guy that shares common interests. There always seems to be an expectation that a man and a woman cant go out with each other without building a relationship of some form. Also, maybe things could have been openly disgussed between the man and woman so that they both know exactly where they stand, but still enjoy each others company. And of course theres always the FWB possability. In which case both are useing each other for sexual satisfaction. But no relationship is considered between the two.
The time is only wasted if, seeing the person just as a friend, makes things difficult or impossible to see and consider others for a relationship.0 -
Casually seeing someone as a friend. It is a nice arrangement.
Have no intentions of relationships anytime soon.
guys: i dont get this...why keep seeing someone as just a friend? it feels like such a waste of time for me if you like someone and they aren't ready for a relationship to be just "friends"
not to be confused with i can't have friends that are guys (that I don't like)
A lot of guys will see someone as a friend because they just enjoy spending time with them, just like they might another guy that shares common interests. There always seems to be an expectation that a man and a woman cant go out with each other without building a relationship of some form. Also, maybe things could have been openly disgussed between the man and woman so that they both know exactly where they stand, but still enjoy each others company. And of course theres always the FWB possability. In which case both are useing each other for sexual satisfaction. But no relationship is considered between the two.
The time is only wasted if, seeing the person just as a friend, makes things difficult or impossible to see and consider others for a relationship.
Yes, you totally need to be on the same page.
If someone sees a man hoping he will turn into a relationship when he has CLEARLY stated he doesn't want one (or vice versa with the women not wanting one) you are on a slippery slope wasting your time. ETA: also works for being a FWB hoping he will change his mind and want a relationship. I have been told recently 'when a man speaks listen'0 -
Casually seeing someone as a friend. It is a nice arrangement.
Have no intentions of relationships anytime soon.
guys: i dont get this...why keep seeing someone as just a friend? it feels like such a waste of time for me if you like someone and they aren't ready for a relationship to be just "friends"
not to be confused with i can't have friends that are guys (that I don't like)
A lot of guys will see someone as a friend because they just enjoy spending time with them, just like they might another guy that shares common interests. There always seems to be an expectation that a man and a woman cant go out with each other without building a relationship of some form. Also, maybe things could have been openly disgussed between the man and woman so that they both know exactly where they stand, but still enjoy each others company. And of course theres always the FWB possability. In which case both are useing each other for sexual satisfaction. But no relationship is considered between the two.
The time is only wasted if, seeing the person just as a friend, makes things difficult or impossible to see and consider others for a relationship.
i don't mean i can't have guy friends. i mean if u start hanging out/dating someone and then they just wanna be friends, why continue the friendship if you want more and the other person isnt ready?
is that selfish? lol i dont have that kind of patience.0 -
Casually seeing someone as a friend. It is a nice arrangement.
Have no intentions of relationships anytime soon.
guys: i dont get this...why keep seeing someone as just a friend? it feels like such a waste of time for me if you like someone and they aren't ready for a relationship to be just "friends"
not to be confused with i can't have friends that are guys (that I don't like)
A lot of guys will see someone as a friend because they just enjoy spending time with them, just like they might another guy that shares common interests. There always seems to be an expectation that a man and a woman cant go out with each other without building a relationship of some form. Also, maybe things could have been openly disgussed between the man and woman so that they both know exactly where they stand, but still enjoy each others company. And of course theres always the FWB possability. In which case both are useing each other for sexual satisfaction. But no relationship is considered between the two.
The time is only wasted if, seeing the person just as a friend, makes things difficult or impossible to see and consider others for a relationship.
i don't mean i can't have guy friends. i mean if u start hanging out/dating someone and then they just wanna be friends, why continue the friendship if you want more and the other person isnt ready?
is that selfish? lol i dont have that kind of patience.
If I want to date someone and they are only interested in being friends, I walk away.0 -
Casually seeing someone as a friend. It is a nice arrangement.
Have no intentions of relationships anytime soon.
guys: i dont get this...why keep seeing someone as just a friend? it feels like such a waste of time for me if you like someone and they aren't ready for a relationship to be just "friends"
not to be confused with i can't have friends that are guys (that I don't like)
A lot of guys will see someone as a friend because they just enjoy spending time with them, just like they might another guy that shares common interests. There always seems to be an expectation that a man and a woman cant go out with each other without building a relationship of some form. Also, maybe things could have been openly disgussed between the man and woman so that they both know exactly where they stand, but still enjoy each others company. And of course theres always the FWB possability. In which case both are useing each other for sexual satisfaction. But no relationship is considered between the two.
The time is only wasted if, seeing the person just as a friend, makes things difficult or impossible to see and consider others for a relationship.
i don't mean i can't have guy friends. i mean if u start hanging out/dating someone and then they just wanna be friends, why continue the friendship if you want more and the other person isnt ready?
is that selfish? lol i dont have that kind of patience.
If I want to date someone and they are only interested in being friends, I walk away.
I think it really depends on whether the person who wanted more than friends can accept just a friendship or will they always want more? Are they hoping to change the others mind? If this is the case, they are definately not on the same page. I believe in this case that the person who wants more, is definately wasting their time!0 -
Casually seeing someone as a friend. It is a nice arrangement.
Have no intentions of relationships anytime soon.
guys: i dont get this...why keep seeing someone as just a friend? it feels like such a waste of time for me if you like someone and they aren't ready for a relationship to be just "friends"
not to be confused with i can't have friends that are guys (that I don't like)
A lot of guys will see someone as a friend because they just enjoy spending time with them, just like they might another guy that shares common interests. There always seems to be an expectation that a man and a woman cant go out with each other without building a relationship of some form. Also, maybe things could have been openly disgussed between the man and woman so that they both know exactly where they stand, but still enjoy each others company. And of course theres always the FWB possability. In which case both are useing each other for sexual satisfaction. But no relationship is considered between the two.
The time is only wasted if, seeing the person just as a friend, makes things difficult or impossible to see and consider others for a relationship.
i don't mean i can't have guy friends. i mean if u start hanging out/dating someone and then they just wanna be friends, why continue the friendship if you want more and the other person isnt ready?
is that selfish? lol i dont have that kind of patience.
If I want to date someone and they are only interested in being friends, I walk away.
I think it really depends on whether the person who wanted more than friends can accept just a friendship or will they always want more? Are they hoping to change the others mind? If this is the case, they are definately not on the same page. I believe in this case that the person who wants more, is definately wasting their time!
I don't even look at it like that. My opinion is that if you won't date me but want to be friends, you like my personality but don't want to have sex with me. No thanks, find a gay guy to be your BFF.0 -
Such a wholesome thread .... :huh: :bigsmile:
Anyway back on topic.... Single, most likely to remain so this year unless Mr.Right lays siege to my castle.
I met a lovely man last year but after much angst have decided he is a friend. Db do you have no women friends? How do you survive? :flowerforyou: I set myself a limit of only breaking one heart per year so no more dating until next year for me :ohwell: 0 -
I set myself a limit of only breaking one heart per year so no more dating until next year for me :ohwell:
Why would you limit yourself? If you feel that your ready to move on and persue another relationship, then I see no reason why you shouldent do so! This is for you, not for them.
I mean... leading someone on is completely different from trying things and finding that its not working.0 -
Such a wholesome thread .... :huh: :bigsmile:
Anyway back on topic.... Single, most likely to remain so this year unless Mr.Right lays siege to my castle. I met a lovely man last year but after much angst have decided he is a friend. Db do you have no women friends? How do you survive? :flowerforyou: I set myself a limit of only breaking one heart per year so no more dating until next year for me :ohwell:
I have plenty of female friends. I just don't stay in close contact with former girlfriends or dates.0 -
Single! Quite happy about it too -- I may be moving out of state and halfway across the country for the next two years if everything pans out, so really no need to be starting anything. It's actually been really fun for once to just focus on what I want instead of trying to be this perfect person for everyone else. I think I may stick with it for a while 0
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Single, and not comfortable with it... I've been sick the last couple weeks and have been wishing there was someone around to just lend a hand. But... That's no reason to be in a relationship. I recognize that I'm in no mental position to be in a relationship. Trust issues have been flaring, especially after the deceit I faced with the last guy I was with.0
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Was single for about 4.5 years but am currently dating the cowboy exclusively now for about three months. The distance is a bit of a pain, but so far we've made it work. I don't really see anything changing, and I've been quite happy so far! 0
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Been seeing someone for about 8 or 9 months now, and things seem to be going downhill. Same old story, they always just seem to want more than I can (or am willing to) give them. Nothing ever seems to be good enough, it's exhausting.0
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Been seeing someone for about 8 or 9 months now, and things seem to be going downhill. Same old story, they always just seem to want more than I can (or am willing to) give them. Nothing ever seems to be good enough, it's exhausting.
emotional dependancies?0
