If you want to know what's going on in a mans head it's usually:
boobs/sex
food
beer
sports

If you don't want to think about it so much try to give yourself something else to think about.

I'm not talking about what he generally thinks about. I'm talking about what he thinks of me.

I thought that was obvious.

Okay well if you want an honest answer...

I'm not sure what you mean in your original post by "it annoys the guy" but he probably likes you but thinks you're needy and annoying. What he thinks of you is most likely directly dependent on how you act around him. If you act cool than he will think you're cool, if you constantly ask questions about how he feels about you he will think you're insecure.

Again, if you want to stop thinking about it, give your brain something else to think about. Get a hobby, do a project, try to focus on work, working out, whatever. Just find a way to deal with it yourself and whatever you do don't ask the guy about it. There is seriously no bigger turn off than when someone you're just getting to know starts asking you about where this is going and how you're feeling.

Yeah, I'm not needy. I'm just really into him and have been for a long time. I keep trying to get close and then I start thinking and **** it up. I realize all this. I really just posted to this to remind myself that I'm doing it again and maybe get some tips on how to reign my stupid brain in.

One more quick question... when we do finally go out, should I be direct about what I really want... or just wait for the cue?

Normally it's best to be direct, but the "desperately" part can be a turn off. So I would make your interest known by flirting (thus stepping out of the friends zone) and distract yourself from the "what does he think of me" doubts by focussing on the moment, what he is saying (rather than what he is not) etc. Try and go with the mindset that this guy would be lucky to get you and if he isn't interested then that's his loss because you are awesome You could just ask him (with a big smile) - is this a date? Anything other than a yes is the wrong answer.

I have to say if you already know each other as friends and making an assumption ended things last time then it's not a great sign. Sounds to me like he know your feelings were strong and he backed off. This could be because his feelings were not as strong or it could be that he does care for you too but likes to be in less intense relationships because he has committment issues. My money is on the latter. I hope I'm wrong and that he is at a point in his life where he is ready to go for what he wants and it's you :flowerforyou: If all goes well then by all means let him chase you, but I wouldn't get involved if he cannot handle you reciprocating as this problem will not go away.

Finally I'm fairly sure I answered some of your posts before (please forgive me if I'm wrong) and I wondered if perhaps you find the idea of total committement a bit scary too. If when you were first starting out, a guy felt towards you the way you do towards this guy, how would you react? Would it depend on whether you liked him or would you be spooked? If the latter then I wonder if part of why you are hooked into this guy so much is because he is ambivalent and although you would like him to not be, you may need that lack of ability to commit in order to do so yourself because it feels safer. I may be barking up the wrong tree here but just raise it as a possibility as it is so common for people to get stuck in these relationship patterns due to their stuff, without realising what's hapening time and time again in successive relationships.

Okay... let me just give you the whole story. I was in a serious, long-term relationship when I first met him. He was recently divorced. The interest was there. I had resolved that it wouldn't work because he wanted more children and I couldn't have anymore. And I continued in the relationship that I was in, and he went back to his ex-wife. She ended up getting pregnant and before the twins were born, she dumped him. Of course, after having twins, he was through with the desire to have more children, LOL. It was around this time that I really began to realize that I had strong feelings for him, but I was still in a relationship. Eventually, he gave up on me and moved on, but we started getting closer as friends. At this point, I fell hard for him.

Eventually, I realized that I was completely unhappy, and broke up with my boyfriend. He continued in his relationship and being single, I realized that I couldn't deal with it so I just left him alone. Then, he and I were both single. I approached him with the idea of an FWB type relationship. Looking back, I sent it by email, which probably wasn't the best idea. After a few days, I didn't hear from him, and I assumed that he didn't care and emailed him again basically saying as much. His response was short. He had been out of town, he didn't have to explain himself to me, and that I was wrong. He didn't really say what I was wrong about.

We've had a little communication over FB for the last year. All of it friendly, but no in depth conversation. Then, the other day, I decided that I really missed him, and messaged and asked if we could reconnect. He got back to me immediately, and we made plans for dinner next week. I don't know if he is single now or not. I think that his response indicates at least something positive about the possibility.

There... I put the whole thing out there. I'm kind of ashamed of the way I treated him before. I realize now that I wasn't really ready for an FWB relationship with him at the time. I truly want him to be more than that, but I'm not opposed to the idea either. As far as commitment issues go, yes... he has some... or at least had some. I have been burned in a few relationships so I do have trust issues, but I'm not afraid of commitment. I'm just at a point in life where I don't need a commitment to be satisfied. Still, my feelings for him have always been strong, and I do have a tendency to rush into relationships.

I know I have a pattern. I'm trying to change.