That's never a good feeling, and there's not much advice to offer besides just be yourself. Sorry about the friend drop you dont need them if they are that picky. Some people forget there is life outside of MFP.

I'm so sorry to hear that you are experiencing this. It dos amaze me how "invisible" people seem to treat the overweight, and out of habit without pebbly realizing it. In turn though the attention we do get often is of the negative, the rude comments and stares. What I feel is worse is the "unattention" attention..like the whispers about how big you are but then pretending not to "see" you when you turn your own attention to them. .. Or
..for example my best friend and I were getting tattoos at the same time...my tattoo artist ( using the term loosely as that was the first and last ill ever have him do) was working on me but was showing off for her...and never once asked how I was. He then started asking questions about her, like if she was single or not... By that point I was feeling uncomfortable because of his lack ..and obvious diverted attention and a little pissed. I said what truly came to mind in a flash..."you don't have a chance, I'm more her type" even though she has a fiancé. He finally "kinda" looked at me and asked if this was my first tattoo, as he was doing the finishing cleanup. Blown away all I could say was "seriously?" (I have multiple, some were very visible at the time)

It is a horrible feeling and I am so sorry that you have experienced it. I have too and it is never easy. Thank goodness there are some great and supportive people on here. I know it doesnt make up for the "real" world but it is a start to feeling visible.

I feel very sad when I hear you say that your invisible...I only have one question. Do you want to be invisible? I am can remember a time when I felt something similar but you know what. I wanted to be invisible and I was. I went through a relationship that broke my self esteem and I wanted to go by(unconsciously) unseen. My self consciousness was almost like a cloak of invisibility.I am a big girl. 350lb pounds worth and I am not invisible. I got myself out of that rut and WANTED to be apart of the world. Now I smile and people smile back...Now don't get me wrong there is always a jerk or two out there but I honestly usually don't even notice those people. What I did notice is the more confident and happy you are the m ore people naturally gravitate towards you. It probably has very little to do with your weight ...II don't know if this is the case with you too but hope you can put yourself out there like your husband suggests and loose your cloak of invisibility.

I'm glad that you posted this because I thought I was the only one. Although I would rather be invisible to people than be treated like **** by them any day. I am timid and shy by nature but I do know that the bigger I've gotten it switched from just being shy to full blown social anxiety disorder. My husband tries to get me out there too but I'm pretty close to being a full on hermit. I've also noticed that I've internalized this feeling of invisibility when it come to my personal identity as well. I don't really feel like a person some days, certainly not like a 'woman', most of the time I feel like a piece of furniture, just there. To the point now that it surprises(more like shocks) me when people do notice me as being an actual person. I think that the disassociation is just a way of coping with the pain of being so big. But in my heart of hearts I don't want to be invisible or a piece of furniture. I guess that's one of the big reasons that I'm here, trying, because I want to be 'real' again and get to experience my life.

Thanks so much for posting this subject, reading other peoples experiences and writing about my own has helped my understand it. :flowerforyou:

Sounds like Ca. people out here are to the point of being rude, dirty looks like your going to mug them? Its like fat make you not worth talking to or contagious .... I do less and less because of the attitude out there? I am very lonely .. even the heavy people I say hi to turn the other way?? I just dont understand it??? Very depressed. :[:ohwell:

I used to live up North, and while I would not say they are not friendly, many people there are just are not the type to get into a conversation with anyone they meet. They are hurrying to get where they are going. It really is not because of you. Sometimes people just want to talk to people they know or not talk at all northerner or southerner. They may just be scared to talk to you as well.

I'm so sorry for your pain, I can completely relate. I still get ignored by some, and treated like I'm invisible. (expletive) them!

And people tend to loudly discuss their exercise plans and fitness in front of me, probably thinking they're helping. It happened just the other day at the post office, the two skinnies in line next to me were going on and on about their visits to the gym and eating healthy. Neither of them could see me, I was apparently wearing my invisible cloak, it's a superpower of obese people.
I used to cry over rude comments, stares, remarks from strangers about what I had in my grocery-shopping cart, or passive-aggressive "accidentally overheard" lectures.

But when I hit my 40's I had a change of attitude. I'm not sure why, I just didn't care anymore. It was like I became immune to it.
The last time someone stared at me, I *glared* back until she looked away. ("Go ahead, say something to me so I can tell you off!")

Something good that comes from it is, you are more compassionate towards others, because you know what it feels like to be treated like you're different. This makes you a better person than them.

Please don't let it get you down. Concentrate on feeling better, and working toward having a longer, happier more fun-filled life with your husband, daughter, and whomever else you're close to. "To heck" with the strangers, you don't need their approval, they do not matter!
Don't let them steal your joy.
*Hugs* to you.