Coping NonPaleo family members, especially spouses

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  • kkerri
    kkerri Posts: 276 Member
    Maybe I am just a mean, uncaring wife....But, I cook what I cook and he can either eat it, starve, or cook what he wants. Works lovely.

    I have gone from vegan to high protein/lowfat, to ovo-vegetarian, to low-fat, and now to Paleo.

    I have to worry about my kids eating - not the 42 year-old, fully self-sufficient man with 2 hands.
  • nellyett
    nellyett Posts: 436 Member
    After I discovered the awesomeness of paleo, I asked my husband very nicely if he would even consider joining me. His answer was unclear but his actions are definite. He refuses to give up his breads, sweets, junk etc and sadly enough he's dragging our daughter down with him.

    I have voiced my concerns about our little one to him and asked him to help me, but so far my requests have fallen on deaf ears. My biggest issue isn't even really the flour, pasta and grains but it really bothers me when they eat endless amounts of junk like cotton candy, chocolates, cookies, etc.

    Fortunately my husband is fully on board with the Primal lifestyle and is loving it as much as I am. My 8 year old daughter however, is not. LOL

    What I'm constantly doing which drives her crazy is harping on her about protein. Since she is a somewhat picky eater, I always have her 'choose her protein' first if she's not eating the protein we are. for example....does she want eggs? or ham / turkey slices, chicken, fish, whatever I have as options. Then, I choose the sides. :)

    I don't want to ban sugary or sweet things as I fear that doing so will make them a bigger deal to her later on, but I will make her aware that if she has 'A' now, then she will forfeit 'B' later. That there is only one treat per day type thing.

    Also, she thinks it's pretty cool to use the scale to figure out serving sizes. I have her read the label for cereal, dried mango, gummies, whatever and ask her to weigh or count out a serving size. She's always disappointed by how small it really is!! haha

    I figure giving her an awareness of what she is eating is at least a decent start. As she gets older and wants ot focus on feeling better, looking healthy, etc. then she may be inspired to go Primal. We talk about the benefits in front of her all the time so I'm sure it won't be much of a stretch for her in a few years.

    You are not hurting your child if you "ban" unhealthy foods. Quite the opposite. My child is only 5 but she gets a $10 weekly allowance, $4 of which she must save and $6 with which she can buy "treats". In my town $6 will only buy 2 things (ie small bag chips, choc bar, ice cream bar, etc-I live in the Arctic) and even with that $6 she has rules. For instance, no slushies, certain jerky, gum with artificial sweeteners, etc.

    Also, I make her healthy treats at home. Homemade granola bars can be made with very little sweetening (dates or honey or maple syrup) and while not healthy for me, are ok for her one serving per day. Instead of cereal, I make her a smoothie every morning, which she LOVES.

    I fully expect that when she grows up and moves out she will go crazy on all the foods that I didn't let her have. However, when she gets sick or has finally had her fill of junk, she will have all the knowledge that she needs to know how to eat healthy, especially in a world where we are completely lied to about what IS healthy.

    However, I do think 8 is a bit young to focus on weighing foods and being concerned about calories. My best advice is to only supply healthy food in the house, limit the higher sugar natural foods to just a couple servings, but other than that she should eat as much as she needs of whole, unprocessed foods.


    We have done the "Shrek Smoothies"....what we called green smoothies. lol. She likes to make them, just not drink them. Some days she will love something and of course I go out and stock up, then she won't like it anymore. Either way, I'm always enforcing healthy choices. As she gets older she will know which foods are beneficial to your body and which are not and she can make her own choices from there. I am always surprised by how many people really have no idea how many calories they are eating, what those calories are made up of, and what the body really needs.

    And just to clarify..... my daughter has no calorie restrictions. We only weigh or measure serving sizes of junk food/candy. The only thing I point out to her on the label are the grams of sugar. Or the ingredients when they have a ton of chemicals in them. :)

    We never focus on weight in our house. Only health, strength, endurance, overall energy, immunity to virus', etc. :)
  • spatulathumbs
    spatulathumbs Posts: 125 Member
    I have less trouble with my husband than I do with my two year old. Usually we encourage him to eat what we're eating, but I will admit that I fall back on a sandwich because I worry he isn't eating enough. :(
  • nellyett
    nellyett Posts: 436 Member
    That's awesome. What might also help is making Paleo/Primal-friendly treats. There are some pretty awesome recipes for things like brownies and whatnot. Perhaps doing that (and getting her used to things tasting a certain way) will make her less likely to want the processed/wheat versions, as well.

    I definately have my eye on a few different recipes!! Problem is that I'm not entirely sure that I can limit myself to one serving yet.....haha.

    There's a carrot cake and nut bar that I'm dying to make :)
  • homesweeths
    homesweeths Posts: 792 Member
    Your agreement puts you in full control of the food, which means you could do one of two things: 1. "Forget" to buy the crap he eats and/or "forget" to make the non-paleo sides (not necessarily all the time, but this one's good especially for phasing junk food out of the house), or 2. simply put your foot down and say "I'm not buying it, I'm not making it, if you want it, you're a big boy, go get it yourself." Either way forces him to at least occasionally try the foods you have, which will likely open him up to the foods you eat.
    I do not really want to fight over food, it doesn't worth it. I rather slowly replacing one item a time without bringing it to their attention. I am sneaky ! He is the sole money maker in our household. He salary pays the bills, my tuition for grad school , the daycare so I can go to gradschool end everything else. Plus he helps out a lot in housework and spend a tons of times with the kids. I think it would be totally unfair from me if I refuse to buy him what he specifically ask for. After all he is a grown man and can make his own decisions , which I have to respect even if I do not agree with it. He doesn't drink soda at home, no candy, no chocolate, only chips/popcorn, occasional cookies and icecream . With a conventional view , he eats rather healthy , minus the evening chips.
    Actually I am ok with the dinner situation for now. During the last year, I switched all the pasta/macaroni/ spaghetti product to gluten free. It made with corn, which is not the good , but the rice based once were so bad, they refuse to eat it. They eat it once a week only. I found a great local company (Kinninick) , which makes bread,tortilla, hamburger/hot dog buns, pizza crust from rice/tapioca flour. Those are the most harmless grains , so I am ok with it.

    Right now I focus on the breakfast and the treats. All my husband health problem seems to relate to uric acid: kidney stones, gout. What I read the fructose consumption is the problem, mainly the high fructose corn syrup. My husband favorite breakfast is pastry, mainly muffins, which are just full of that stuff. This is why I started to experimenting with almond flour muffins. I have a great base recipe, and I just use different flavours to make it different. Right now lemon poppy seed, cranberry orange and chocolate chip-walnuts are the biggest hit. I just baked 36 muffins on Saturday and froze them in pack of 6. We will see how it goes during the month but I may just solved the breakfast problem.
    I would love to see your muffin recipe!
  • homesweeths
    homesweeths Posts: 792 Member
    I have less trouble with my husband than I do with my two year old. Usually we encourage him to eat what we're eating, but I will admit that I fall back on a sandwich because I worry he isn't eating enough. :(

    I worried when I had a 2yo, too, until my pediatrician told me a 2yo only needs to take in about 2 tbsp of food in a meal, minimum. Along with that she said not to let a child fill up on milk or juice -- no beverages except water until that 2 tbsp of food had been consumed. We also introduced veggies in this way: one piece per year of age. So the two and four year olds would be required to eat two or four peas, or green beans, or carrot slices, before they could have seconds of the food they really liked. Oddly enough they adored broccoli and I never had to coax them to eat that.

    I don't know how true that "2 tbsp for a toddler" is, now with wondering how much of medical advice is good and useful, but it seemed to work.
  • spatulathumbs
    spatulathumbs Posts: 125 Member
    I have less trouble with my husband than I do with my two year old. Usually we encourage him to eat what we're eating, but I will admit that I fall back on a sandwich because I worry he isn't eating enough. :(

    I worried when I had a 2yo, too, until my pediatrician told me a 2yo only needs to take in about 2 tbsp of food in a meal, minimum. Along with that she said not to let a child fill up on milk or juice -- no beverages except water until that 2 tbsp of food had been consumed. We also introduced veggies in this way: one piece per year of age. So the two and four year olds would be required to eat two or four peas, or green beans, or carrot slices, before they could have seconds of the food they really liked. Oddly enough they adored broccoli and I never had to coax them to eat that.

    I don't know how true that "2 tbsp for a toddler" is, now with wondering how much of medical advice is good and useful, but it seemed to work.

    That's not bad advice, thank you. Right now he is happily munching on a mini apple, which he loves. And he's pretty good about trying new things, etc. I should give him more credit. He loves snap peas and carrots.

    The Husband is a pretty good partner in all of this, though he's asked me not to use coconut oil because he doesn't like the taste of it, so we use grassfed butter instead, or I use it when it's not detectable. But he still really loves his big beers and whiskey and ice cream and chocolate cake... I think he's used to using food as comfort (aren't we all) but I have to be careful not to boss him around too much about it. When he feeds our son a bite or two, here or there, that's fine with me. *shrug* I guess it's all about picking my battles.
  • redheadmommy
    redheadmommy Posts: 908 Member
    spatulathumb:
    I am totally with you about picking our battles. Constant nagging about every single little thing will just push a person away and make them more stubborn. Focusing on one or two big problem at a time is the way to go imho.
    As far as a 2 yrs old concerns if he /she is not underweight , skipping a meal is not a big deal. I find that kids eating pattern is very cyclical. Some days they do not eat much et all, and then all he sudden they eat sooo much that you are surprised where that huge amount food went.
    If you think about the hunter gatherer, it is actually build into us to have feast and famine periods.

    My almost 5 yrs old is a good eater for the most part, but I have a hard timer feeding him vegetables. I think he has texture issues. He eats carrots, turnips, parsnip, spinach , kohlrabi, cabbage, squash in cooked, but he refuse to eat more than a few bites of pretty much any raw vegetables.
  • Akimajuktuq
    Akimajuktuq Posts: 3,037 Member
    I think paleo IS freaking expensive. If you used to eat processed store bought food , you may not feel it because you used to pay for the meal making too. However I used to cook daily basis years and years before paleo. Pasta ,beans, lentils are dirt cheap compared to organic grass fed beef over organic veggies. My grocery bill significantly increased. I also live in north and I spend $500 monthly on produce alone.

    I'm talking about processed foods that come in a box and made at home. I was even eating wild meat quite frequently. Things people consider normal food like pasta, spaghetti sauce, fries, pizzas, bread, rice etc. Paleo absolutely can be less expensive but there is more work involved and how much one eats still matters. Because I am ketogenic, I eat much less than before. When I was bingeing on "normal" food, nothing was ever enough. So you may not have had the health issues that I had, but you can still find ways to save money and be Paleo.

    I live in Kugluktuk, Nunavut. I am in Edmonton at least 2 times per year. You have LOTS of farmers and lots of local food producers available. If I lived there I would not buy my meat in the big box stores. You have so many options available! I shop when I am there and one can spend a lot depending on what they are buying, but one can also find lots of ways to save. I went to some farmers markets near Edmonton this past June. WOW. I have found a number of farmers online that offer reasonable priced grass fed and/or organic meats but I have yet to find any that are able to ship out of Alberta because they aren't Federally inspected.

    My grocery bill before Paleo averaged $1600 every month for one adult and one five year old. It now averages $1200. That's with buying produce locally, crazy expensive, but with flying in spices, nuts, oils, meat, etc.
  • redheadmommy
    redheadmommy Posts: 908 Member
    I would love to see your muffin recipe!
    This makes 6 good size muffins. You can double the recipe for a large 12 muffin pan.
    I personally often just do this amount from one flavour , because I often use mini muffin pan to have bite size treats for my kid. Depending how high you want it to be , it makes 18 or 24 mini muffins.

    wet ingredients
    3 eggs -room temperature
    4 tbsp honey
    4 tbsp coconut oil - liquid form
    2 tsp vanilla extract

    dry ingredients
    1.5 cups of fine almond flour ( I use JK almond flour)
    1/4 tsp baking soda ( or organic baking powder)

    For the orange cranberry flavour: juice and the zest of of a half large orange , and 1.5 -2 tbsp dry cranberries
    for lemon poppyseed flavour: juice and the zest of a half large lemon and 1.5 tbs poppy seed
    for chocolate walnut flavour: 0.5 tbsp apple cider vinegar, 2 tbsp water, 1.5-2 tbsp mini semi sweet chocolate chips and 2 tbsp chopped walnut.
    You can come up with your own topping/flavours . I have a hard time making it right with fresh fruit though, because the wetness. In order to have some rising make sure you have some acid ( acid + baking soda= some rising). This is why I add a bit apple cider vinegar if there is no lemon/orange in it. It will not be really fluffy as a wheat muffin, but the texture is nice when it cools down. Plus it freeze wonderfully, and the texture actually gets better after freezing.

    1. Mix the baking soda /baking powder with the almond flour.
    2. Whisk the wet ingredients together.
    3. Pour the dry ingredients into the wet ones.
    4. put the flavouring into the bowl and portion it out into muffin cups. In case chocolate walnut, I just put the chocolate chip into the bowl, and sprinkle the walnuts on the top.
    5. bake it at 375 F . Baking time depends on your muffin size. Mini muffins approximately 12 minutes, medium ones 15-18 minutes. Use a toothpick to see if it is done.

    It is super easy, the only thing can go wrong is if the eggs are way to cold, the coconut oil may solidify. It is not affecting the outcome much though.

    One large/normal muffin is 350 cal, 24g carb, 3g fiber, 26g fat,9g protein.
    Enjoy!
  • redheadmommy
    redheadmommy Posts: 908 Member
    Akimajuktuq:
    You are totally right about the grass fed beef around here. If you buy a half cow from a farmer , it will cost roughly net weight $5 / lb to have a high quality organic grass beef, which is cheap. I started to cook more and more beef, but my family prefers chicken breast, salmon and eggs for protein. Conventional chicken breast is $6-7/lb if buying bulk at Costco. Organic free range chicken breast is $16/lb from the exact same farmer that sells the organic grass fed beef at $4/lb carcass weight 4! times the price to get the same quality. Wild caught salmon is $12/lb at Costco. Today I'll bake a salmon that has a $23 price tag attached to it, and I am sure there will be no leftovers for tomorrow, because even the baby will be stuffing her face with it :) yummy!

    So yes, if we switch our expensive protein(salmon, chicken breast) , to a cheap one (beef), we would spend way less. But this has nothing to do with being paleo or not. Wild caught salmon is just as much paleo as grass fed beef.
  • melba_321
    melba_321 Posts: 65 Member
    In my home, we also prepare/cook for our Siberian Huskies. The funny thing is, they eat very Paleo/Primal with their only "junk food" being The Honest Kitchen (dehydrated foods & the ones without grains) and a holistic kibble (which is fed like a snack only on occasion, like their version of 'chips' or 'popcorn'). So, for me, minus THK and holistic kibble "snack", (lol) it's fairly easy for me to work my way into Primal. I get my comparable "junk" or snacks from organic protein shake mixes.

    My husband and daughter are not Primal eaters. They might classify as 50%, but the hubster still likes his beer (I only drink on occasion), some junk and pasta/grains. My daughter (19) is still attached to the grains, sugar, baked foods & junk.

    Although I am not "fully" Primal yet, we all rotate cooking. When they make something too carb induced for me, I just eat the meat and veggies and add my own flare to my own...or just throw something together. When I cook, I might make something like quinoa or pasta on the side...depending. They don't complain. Yet, when it's grocery time, I've been replacing foods. They still get their "bread" and regular pasta, but I've incorporated in more organic quinoa, millet & amaranth to replace rice and even brown rice...and it's used more often than pasta. Since I quit soda, even my hub stopped. So, we just don't buy. Ice cream, sorbet and the like, we just don't get anymore...only reserved for when I feel like making it with all real ingredients. No more condiments from the store (other than mustard & vinegars...and their junk salad dressings & BBQ sauce), I make ketchup and mayonnaise and will soon make the BBQ sauce too. I "think" if I make the salad dressings they will stop as well. For the most part, I don't get any arguments. They love most of my experiments. Where the hub doesn't fully agree on my food choices being completely for him too, he's still more than willing to support it. They both at least listen to the no cooking in any oil other than organic EV coconut oil (and when I locate "good" lard, tallow & butter will be on the cooking list) & EVOO is only for using "cold". They still eat store bought beef (when we don't get from trusted packing house), but the hub makes sure I have organic beef & bison. The hubster hunts too, so that is VERY helpful. I love wild meat. Since we pay for the groceries, my daughter has no choice, unless she buys her own. For the sugar, I just keep raw pure cane, honey (usually local raw), pure maple, stevia and molasses. When I do bake, I add in almond & coconut flours and try to make as gluten free & low sugar as possible. Instead of Idaho potatoes, I pick them up red, sweet and purple. At least the hub agrees on no prepackaged crap, and he's even now making his own jerky instead of buying it...and he too, stopped doing fast food. So, it seems the hub will be able to go Primal in time. --At first though, he did complain it was too expensive for everyone...heck we have 3 people and 2 Siberian Huskies on just one income. Yet, as I keep replacing foods, the hubster sees that it's actually cheaper. My daughter, although she still has her attachments, is actually trying to eat healthier. So, in time it has gotten much better. They both see how much healthier I've been and how my body is becoming "toned", and that seems to have some motivation for them too. I guess they just needed to see certain things.

    I still need to get myself accustomed to eating more animal fats. Of course, I am willing to go further when its organic grass fed or wild meat...and the majority of our game meat is very lean. I am still stuck on using almost exclusively coconut oil and avocado oil to add in my fats, but still learning...
  • mmipanda
    mmipanda Posts: 351 Member
    My fiance is actually better at sticking to paleo than I am. But atm we live with his parents, who survive on pasta, white bread, chips etc.

    His mum was intrigued by our diet and tried to join, but I think she struggled with the 'no processed stuff' - she'd taste our cooking and say 'hm that's good, but I think we should add some noodles/sweet chili sauce/etc' and I'd have to explain every time that its not paleo!

    His dad is not even slightly interested in healthy eating, and he's giving their young son terrible habits. Whenever the mum isn't in the picture they pretty much survive on McDonalds, Chinese take-away, etc. I would find it completely infuriating in her position, because she tries her hardest to instill healthy eating habits in their son, but is constantly sabotaged by her husband.
  • ShannonKirton
    ShannonKirton Posts: 304 Member
    You know, maybe I spoke too soon about my hubby.

    This morning when he was on his way out of the door to work, what should I see in his hand but an apple and a yoghurt :) I was pleasantly surprised.

    Last night even, I came home from the gym and found the hubby in our bedroom, watching a movie on the computer inside and I was a bit peeved that he wouldn't come to keep my company downstairs while I made myself some dinner etc. Anyway, when I finally made it inside to get ready for bed, he told me that he didn't want to come outside because he knew that if he did, he would have eaten something he knew he shouldn't have so he stayed put in the bedroom so he wouldn't binge. Maybe he's finally getting on the healthy train.

    He's certainly not paleo, but at least he's getting better with his food choices. I would much prefer him to eat yoghurt and an apple, than some awful sugar chocked cereal, and some fake juice etc. I know he has other snacks at work too, but I saw what he bought at the supermarket to take with him and again, they're not ideal but much better than empty calories. Now he's leaning towards granola bars, and more whole grain products. This is 100 times better than the cookies, chocolates and terrible potato chips he used to eat.

    He's still a work in progress but he's improving and I'm proud of him for trying. Our daughter is also getting better snacks too so I'm a much happier mummy!! Fruit to the masses I say!! :D
  • irishguns
    irishguns Posts: 53 Member
    I was worried about this when I first started eating a Paleo diet. My fiance was all about bread, etc. My step daughter is also a vegetarian who pretty much only eats cheese and bread so at first I actually held off on eating Paleo because she was with us for the summer and I was just worried about doing it alone. Then I decided "whatever" and cut all grains, pasta, etc. About a month later my fiance actually joined me with it because he wanted to support me. Now we (me, fiance and my daughter) eat a paleo diet.