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moya_rargh
moya_rargh Posts: 1,473 Member
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Tomorrow is the first anniversary of me splitting from my ex-fiancee. The year I've had since was as desolate as what the future holds. There IS more than this......isn't there?
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  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
    Life is what you make it Moya! You can sit in and feel sorry for yourself and feed off your own negativity, or you can get proactive, get out, make some friends and enjoy life. Maybe even meet your soul mate along the way! :bigsmile:

    Pays your money, takes your choice :wink:
  • moya_rargh
    moya_rargh Posts: 1,473 Member
    Life is what you make it Moya! You can sit in and feel sorry for yourself and feed off your own negativity, or you can get proactive, get out, make some friends and enjoy life. Maybe even meet your soul mate along the way! :bigsmile:

    Pays your money, takes your choice :wink:

    I want to get out and enjoy, but where do I get friends from? I'm a bit of a hermit to say the least. I only have human contact in work! :noway:
  • flimflamfloz
    flimflamfloz Posts: 1,980 Member
    Tomorrow is the first anniversary of me splitting from my ex-fiancee. The year I've had since was as desolate as what the future holds. There IS more than this......isn't there?
    There are two sides to each coin.

    Being single is great, so focus on yourself.
    Think about your previous relationship... What are all the things you felt you couldn't do? (like watching porn on your 50 inch TV at dinner - which you should absolutely do now)

    Now that you have nobody to worry about, just enjoy life as much as you can. Becoming single frees a lot of time in your schedule and you can officially start each sentence with "i" instead of "we", so it's time to learn tons of new things, travel if you can, watch the movies you like, go out with (new) friends.

    It is only when you realise that relationships would be too big a sacrifice on your current lifestyle that the opposite gender will start flocking to you.
    At this stage, take the coin I mentioned at the beginning of my post - that conveniently possesses two sides - and flip it.
    If you get:
    - Tail: stay single.
    - Head: go for the relationship.
    Alternatively you can also manage to get "head" before flipping the coin.
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
    What are all the things you felt you couldn't do? (like watching porn on your 50 inch TV at dinner - which you should absolutely do now)

    Am I the only female that thinks this is a great thing to do in a relationship? :laugh: :bigsmile:
  • flimflamfloz
    flimflamfloz Posts: 1,980 Member
    What are all the things you felt you couldn't do? (like watching porn on your 50 inch TV at dinner - which you should absolutely do now)
    Am I the only female that thinks this is a great thing to do in a relationship? :laugh: :bigsmile:
    Lemme tell ya, the squid in your plate might not be to the taste of everyone if you are simultaneously watching some squid porn.
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
    Life is what you make it Moya! You can sit in and feel sorry for yourself and feed off your own negativity, or you can get proactive, get out, make some friends and enjoy life. Maybe even meet your soul mate along the way! :bigsmile:

    Pays your money, takes your choice :wink:

    I want to get out and enjoy, but where do I get friends from? I'm a bit of a hermit to say the least. I only have human contact in work! :noway:

    I really dont know why anyone would be a hermit and like it!! So why not stop being a hermit??

    There is a site online called 'meetup'. That's a good starting point...........

    Join a sports club and learn to play badmintion/squash/tennis?

    Go drinking in your 'local'? Start talking to people at the bar.....

    Volunteer for the homeless............

    Join another dating site (I read you didnt have any luck on POF, but there are others)

    Etc

    Etc
  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
    I'm a bit of an introvert myself, so I do understand how hard it can be to meet new people or start up a conversation with a stranger. Start online if that makes you more comfortable - Anna had some great suggestions with Meetup and dating sites. Also, what other hobbies do you have? Get involved more with those in real life. And talk to your existing friends and tell them its your New Years resolution to get out and meet more people!

    Good luck!
  • dixiech1ck
    dixiech1ck Posts: 769 Member
    Haha.. beware of Meetup. ;-) I kid, I kid. I met my best friend (a guy) through meetup. It's got it's pluses and minuses but you get that from anything.

    For what it's worth, I've been single about 10 years. I miss having the relationship part, but I was in such a bad place in life that I'm glad I didn't have something else going on (had been involved in an accident). They say there's a lid for every pot, so I'm hoping my pot (or lid) is out there! ;) Good luck to you!
  • Smiling_Sara
    Smiling_Sara Posts: 203 Member
    I've always been single. Way to much social anxiety to meet new people. I guess my goal is trying to get professional help on that. Just wish I didn't have such anxiety seeking help.
  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
    I guess my goal is trying to get professional help on that. Just wish I didn't have such anxiety seeking help.

    There's no shame in getting help. You will probably feel much better if you do!
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,329 Member
    stop being a hermit.

    i'm sure you have hobbies. any hobby can be turned into something social, even something like building teeny ships in a bottle. there's tons of meetups groups devoted to all kinds of things.

    i'm not sure if you have any in your area but it's worth a shot to look into. what about volunteering? that's also a great way to meet new people, going to church (if that's your thing), film festivals, gallery tours, etc. it pretty much just takes

    1)getting out of your comfort zone
    2)not going into it with a negative desperate vibe (this will surely keep everyone an arm's length away)
    3) displaying a genuine interest to talk to people and get to know them
  • Sweetestthing87
    Sweetestthing87 Posts: 276 Member
    I can be a hermit too but sometimes you just have to let loose and get out there.

    Think positive thoughts, have some fun and bring back to yourself what you put out in the world.

    “Remember that your thoughts are the primary cause of everything.”
    ― Rhonda Byrne, The Secret

    Best wishes this year!

    ETA: I have also been "single" for a year {1/15/2013}
  • moya_rargh
    moya_rargh Posts: 1,473 Member
    I can be a hermit too but sometimes you just have to let loose and get out there.

    Think positive thoughts, have some fun and bring back to yourself what you put out in the world.

    “Remember that your thoughts are the primary cause of everything.”
    ― Rhonda Byrne, The Secret

    Best wishes this year!

    ETA: I have also been "single" for a year {1/15/2013}

    I like that quote. Thanks!

    Oh, I haven't been "single," I've been SINGLE!!! A bug crawls on me and I'm grateful for the touch haha!
  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
    Oh, I haven't been "single," I've been SINGLE!!! A bug crawls on me and I'm grateful for the touch haha!
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:


    Maybe you should start looking for people on MFP near you too? You can find locals under the Community tab I think.
  • dbrightwell1270
    dbrightwell1270 Posts: 1,732 Member
    Oh, I haven't been "single," I've been SINGLE!!! A bug crawls on me and I'm grateful for the touch haha!
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:


    Maybe you should start looking for people on MFP near you too? You can find locals under the Community tab I think.

    Maybe you should get a job as an exterminator. You'll be grateful on a daily basis.
  • MissingMinnesota
    MissingMinnesota Posts: 7,486 Member
    He is in England I don't think they have meetup.com over there.
    1)getting out of your comfort zone
    2)not going into it with a negative desperate vibe (this will surely keep everyone an arm's length away)
    3) displaying a genuine interest to talk to people and get to know them

    I agree with this. Try and do one thing new a month that is outside your comfort zone and keep an open mind while you do it. You are a good looking guy, have some confidence and smile and be open and I doubt you will be single long.
  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
    How about taking a new profile pic with a SMILE? :bigsmile:
  • Sweetestthing87
    Sweetestthing87 Posts: 276 Member


    I like that quote. Thanks!

    Oh, I haven't been "single," I've been SINGLE!!! A bug crawls on me and I'm grateful for the touch haha!

    You are welcome and OMG, a bug. LOL You need to get out there and soon. :drinker:
  • 4themoney
    4themoney Posts: 797 Member
    i didn't read the whole thread. i've been single for several years now. In 2013, i think i had like maybe 5-6 dates total!

    it was a great year though!!! i got serious about health, nutrition and fitness. I started my own company. got myself some husky puppies to keep me busy, and boy have they EVER!!!! made a TON of friends! and signed myself up for classes to become a Certified Personal Trainer, which I started RIGHT as we entered 2014.

    I think you can either sit and sulk, or you can keep putting one foot in front of the other, and be moving forward, even if it's at a snail's pace. Infrequently I miss having a guy, or going on dates, but more often than not I have so much going on that I don't even think about it!!!!

    I am heading out to Vegas in June for a work related weekend called Summit, I am sending the universe as many vibes as I can that I meet someone, that is like minded, while I am there. If it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen, but it is in my top 10 goals for 2014. So, if i visualize it happening, it will ;-)
  • SherryIsRunner5
    SherryIsRunner5 Posts: 74 Member
    Life is what you make it Moya! You can sit in and feel sorry for yourself and feed off your own negativity, or you can get proactive, get out, make some friends and enjoy life. Maybe even meet your soul mate along the way! :bigsmile:

    Pays your money, takes your choice :wink:

    I want to get out and enjoy, but where do I get friends from? I'm a bit of a hermit to say the least. I only have human contact in work! :noway:

    You sound just like me!! I only see people at work and at home, and online dating has NOT been working out...good luck!
  • moya_rargh
    moya_rargh Posts: 1,473 Member
    Oh, I haven't been "single," I've been SINGLE!!! A bug crawls on me and I'm grateful for the touch haha!
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:


    Maybe you should start looking for people on MFP near you too? You can find locals under the Community tab I think.

    Maybe you should get a job as an exterminator. You'll be grateful on a daily basis.

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • laurenz2501
    laurenz2501 Posts: 839 Member
    Tomorrow is the first anniversary of me splitting from my ex-fiancee. The year I've had since was as desolate as what the future holds. There IS more than this......isn't there?

    Try 6 years..

    :brokenheart: :cry: :sad: :embarassed:

    ETA: Oops I mean 7. 7 years with 2 2-month relationships during that time. I may be a bit picky though. Okay, I'm picky but I also see it as not wanting to settle. So I haven't settled yet. Sure I've had guys that were interested in me, so I COULD HAVE had boyfriends since then but...7 years later...oh well. :drinker:
  • maria1113
    maria1113 Posts: 508 Member
    I've been single my whole life, and I have no idea if there is more than this. Obviously some people do, and I hope OP will too :smile:

    For me? I highly doubt it. Been on my own this long and it's the only thing I know. But hey, life might surprise me, you never know :smile:
  • laurenz2501
    laurenz2501 Posts: 839 Member
    For me? I highly doubt it. Been on my own this long and it's the only thing I know. But hey, life might surprise me, you never know :smile:

    Same here!

    bf.jpg
  • moya_rargh
    moya_rargh Posts: 1,473 Member
    Tomorrow is the first anniversary of me splitting from my ex-fiancee. The year I've had since was as desolate as what the future holds. There IS more than this......isn't there?

    Try 6 years..

    :brokenheart: :cry: :sad: :embarassed:

    ETA: Oops I mean 7. 7 years with 2 2-month relationships during that time. I may be a bit picky though. Okay, I'm picky but I also see it as not wanting to settle. So I haven't settled yet. Sure I've had guys that were interested in me, so I COULD HAVE had boyfriends since then but...7 years later...oh well. :drinker:

    Only a fool refuses water when they are thirsty! :tongue:
  • maria1113
    maria1113 Posts: 508 Member


    bf.jpg

    Ahaha, love it! :laugh:
  • Smiling_Sara
    Smiling_Sara Posts: 203 Member
    I've been single my whole life, and I have no idea if there is more than this. Obviously some people do, and I hope OP will too :smile:

    For me? I highly doubt it. Been on my own this long and it's the only thing I know. But hey, life might surprise me, you never know :smile:

    same. but also too anxious to really start anything with someone.
  • dbrightwell1270
    dbrightwell1270 Posts: 1,732 Member
    I've been single my whole life, and I have no idea if there is more than this. Obviously some people do, and I hope OP will too :smile:

    For me? I highly doubt it. Been on my own this long and it's the only thing I know. But hey, life might surprise me, you never know :smile:

    same. but also too anxious to really start anything with someone.

    This mindset doesn't really make sense to me. I imagine you've been overweight to obese for a long time too. Yet you are here trying to lose weight. If you followed the above reasoning, wouldn't you just say, my body has looked like it does for so long that it's the only thing I know. I doubt it will ever change but life might surprise me?
  • Temporalia
    Temporalia Posts: 1,151 Member
    It will be one year single for me on February 5th, i'm staying single by choice, because I need to work on myself a bit (I tend to make bad choices).

    I saw someone mentioned Meetup, I did that too, it was nice, I also tried to keep more in touch with my friends because I have a tendency to not contact anyone because I love being on my own too. I'm trying hobbies, different activities, etc.
  • laurenz2501
    laurenz2501 Posts: 839 Member
    Tomorrow is the first anniversary of me splitting from my ex-fiancee. The year I've had since was as desolate as what the future holds. There IS more than this......isn't there?

    Try 6 years..

    :brokenheart: :cry: :sad: :embarassed:

    ETA: Oops I mean 7. 7 years with 2 2-month relationships during that time. I may be a bit picky though. Okay, I'm picky but I also see it as not wanting to settle. So I haven't settled yet. Sure I've had guys that were interested in me, so I COULD HAVE had boyfriends since then but...7 years later...oh well. :drinker:

    Only a fool refuses water when they are thirsty! :tongue:

    Well, I'm not thirsty by any means. To use your analogy..I'd rather wait for a glass of water than settle for the soda :smile:

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