Well I definitely got my comeuppance (or whatever); however I was laughing. Everything I said on 1-15-14 is mostly true about my lovely pool, but within a few days of my post, so many of the things everyone has written about happened (like the fitness ladies walking in shoes in the lanes!!!) and I just had to let it go. Luckily not much of the gross-out stuff occurs, but it seems like some of those things are just part of belonging to a fitness club. Anyway, I have loved reading all the comments!! Keep on swimming:)

I simply love these posts. Kudos and agreement to all of you. However, the worst for me is when the old guy in the lane next to me is doing the dirty bumps and grinds under the water!!!!OOOOOOOOOH did something happen? Don't really want to know.

Are said bumps and grinds against the wall, walking in an upright position, or while going down the lane? This makes a difference because the first one is really gross, the second one is kinda weird, and the third could be a really poor attempt at dolphin kicking.

Feet flat on the bottom of the pool and hip action going over there!:sick:

So he's walking and humping the water? That's creepy. I think that would be cause to have him thrown out. When I was a lifeguard in high school, we saw some pretty dirty things going on in the water. We even had to ban a few people for life. Let's add that to the list of what I hate: when people get overly sexual in the public pool like some reality T.V. skanks and/or man wh***s.

I just joined this group and this list made me laugh!!! Thanks for the post! XD

I hate it when every time you take a breather you notice the lifeguard looking at you. Every.Damn.Time.

OMG, I witnessed what I thought was going to turn into an all out brawl between two elderly men this morning while I was swimming laps. It was like watching a scene from Grumpy Old Men. I was swimming in the middle lane, Grumpy Old Man A (I'll call him "John") was swimming in the lane to the left of me and the lifeguard was sitting on the lookout tower to the right of the pool. I was on my second length of the lap, doing the breast stroke, so it was pretty easy for me to see what was happening every time I took a breath. All of the lanes were full and Grumpy Old Man B (I'll call him "Max") staggers into the pool area, puts down his towel and cane, turns to look at the lanes like he's contemplating on which lane to intrude upon and then jumps into John's lane while John is on the other side of the pool. I thought to myself Max must know John because he just plopped himself right into John's lane without discussion like they were old buddies. So, I did my turn and began my next lap and on the way back, I was side swiped by one of them (don't know which one) - not hard, but hard enough to give me a little scare. But I kept swimming because... well, because that's what I was there to do and I really didn't want to stop in the middle of a fight, if that's what it was. And then, a few seconds later, I heard yelling behind me so I stopped swimming and looked behind me in case someone was trying to tell me something I needed to know and there were John and Max, halfway down the lane, yelling at each other and flailing their arms. The yelling went on for a good five minutes and then they started yellng at the lifeguard and the lifeguard was calmly trying to motion them to come over to him to find out what was going on. But instead, John and Max continued yelling at each other in the middle of the pool and yelling at the lifeguard and I was stuck in the middle, swimming my laps and trying to mind my own business. Apparently, Max and John didn't know each other after all and the side swipe I got was the result of the two of them colliding next to me. Max was arguing that John didn't stay on his half of the lane and John was arguing that he would have stayed in his half of the lane if he had been asked to share the lane and had known he was sharing the lane. Anway, the whole ordeal ended only after someone voluntarily gave up their lane for Max.

It was very awkward and it was the first time I have encountered someone at the pool who was that out of touch with lap swim etiquette.

It's summer and I swim at a hotel pool. I am already tired of kids in the pool and it's only the start of June. I wish my pool had lane dividers, but that's never going to happen.

There are one or two that won't share a lane. As for the not asking that is just good manners to ask. When I was visiting a Y in Rhode Island that is what they do. They just jump in and nobody asks. To quote Stephanie on FullHouse, "How rude".

Etiquette at my pool, and all of the pools I have swum at come to think of it (there's not that many, maybe 3) is that you just join the lane which best matches your pace. No-one asks as its well understood that while we probably all prefer to have a lane to ourselves none of us own the pool or any of the lanes (unless you hire out the lane in which case you pay extra and get a sign to put up). I purposely try to swim when I know that the pool is quietest, I usually get the majority of my swim with a lane to myself or just one other person. At other times its not unusual to have 3-4 people sharing a lane and this is in a 10 lane pool.

Anyway, I guess it depends on where you are what is considered polite. If someone were to join my lane without asking, I wouldn't consider that rude (unless there were other lanes free, and maybe not even then if the lane speed did not match their general pace). However, I would find it rude if someone joined my lane and then proceeded to swim either much faster or much slower than I do - that I would find inconsiderate.

This is why I am at the pool at six am. It's rare that I'm not alone in the entire pool. Any time after nine I have to contend with families on vacation at the hotel pool. I try to be nice though. After all, it's summer and it's THEIR vacation. The fact that the pool draws guests for the hotel causes them to allow local swimmers to swim by memberships. I would have fewer options if the hotel was not a big draw.

Live and let swim.

I have just found this group and all of your posts have made me laugh. Its also made me realise just how lucky I am - I belong to a private gym in London with a 20m pool that opens at 6.30am. Pool is clean, showers are clean, suitmate is clean and I get free towels Only costs me £50 a month which is brilliant.

We have 3 lanes that are for adults only until early afternoon, then members can bring children but they can only use one lane. There is a slow lane, medium lane and a fast lane. Max swimmers in one lane at any one time is usually about 4 (circular swimming) and we are mostly curteous to each other (knowing just about everyone in the pool and their speeds helps!). My only gripe is that you get the occasional slower swimmer in a lane that is so engrossed in swimming that they don't notice that you want to overtake (or they are ignoring the foot tapping) but its nothing that a speedy overtake cant beat. Plus we say a lot of british thank you's when someone lets you overtake at the end.

The only other issue I have with my gym is that I was going to use the jacuzzi after a swim when a fellow member pulled me to one side and said "don't get in with that man or after him as he uses the jacuzzi to scrub the dead skin off his feet". Needless to say I have never been in the jacuzzi

I can't say I disagree with any of that.
Experience mist of the share violations in China.
Though one time swimming at the Y, I got kicked 5 times be the guy ob the other side of the rope.

Recently, one of the fast Chinese swimmers and I took a little revenge on a slow guy that pushed off to start slow breast stroke just as we were turning. We had been lane splitting and pushing each since it was just the two of us.
We didn't slow down one bit and swamped him when we pushed off. He immediately got out of the lane.

67 year old beginner here. Wanting to be courteous when I have to share a lane I read all the “You know what I hate.......You know what I hate” pet peeves posted here. Trying hard not to laugh too much at the “older water aerobics ladies” comments as I am one of those ladies, I am having some difficulty understanding some of the others. So as not to annoy a fellow swimmer, would a member of this group kindly explain the following gripe?

“I hate it when a swimmer swims on the wrong side of the lane. (There’s a right and wrong side of the lane?)”

My personal hate? Having to see someone in the locker room put their foot up on a stool and use the the gym’s hair dryer to dry their pubic hair in the mirrored dressing area. That is more than I need to view at any angle.

Same principle (in Australia at least), swim (and drive) on the left :-)

After my workout, I try to sit in the steam room or sauna so that my skin can sweat out all the chlorine I've absorbed. I'm not sure if this is a placebo effect, but if so, at the very least it feels nice to sit, meditate and sweat it out. I hate when people come into either with: 1) headphones blaring; 2) their gym clothes that you can tell have been used repeatedly but not washed all week; 3) a predisposition for grunting on account of not being able to take the heat; 4) the notion that I want to carry on a conversation; and 5) a planned workout (also usually accompanied by grunting). I just want to relax and meditate. I can't do that while you're blasting your abs. The heat of the steam room/sauna doesn't add anything to your workout short of the possibility of heat stroke.

I hate that my pool is closed indefinitely.